I can't save you
And you can't save yourself
it's a lose-lose situation, no?
So that means
I have two options.
You die and I cry and fall
Into a deep depression
that I can't get out of
Or
You die and I take a deep breath
Shove your memory deep inside
And feel a little pain for the rest of my life.
Which do you prefer?
My constant agony and pain
Of suffering your loss
And wishing I could hold you
Just one more time
While crying and dying
And throwing my life away
Just cuz u couldn't hold yourself together?
Or
My similar but smaller agony and pain
Slowly fading with the days
And wishing I could hold you
Just one more time
While smiling and faking
And living my life for you
So I can keep myself together?
Which one do you prefer?
which one?
Are you that selfish that you want the 1st?
Does it disturb you that much
That I move on so quick
That you'd rather me be sick in the head
Then surviving without you?
Do you understand now?
Why I build this dam around my emotions?
Why I cry in bulk?
Why I suffer in silence?
Why I don't try to remember you?
Why I feel this hole in my heart
And this emptiness in my chest?
I have no emotions
and a part of you is gone
So I might as well keep on living
But with half a heart.
The half that pumps blood into my body.
Not the half that feels.