haven't uploaded a chapter for this in a hot minute. links are for how volker looks like
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It would be that the person Bernhardt was going on about was the one who you were meant to bring back to Marley in the secret mission. Informants and men pushing out in the southern front had heard rumors of a man who could lift entire houses and stretch up to the sky far higher than any human could. But the question was how if all but two titans were in Marley's possession? The other two had followed east with the fleeing Eldians to Paradis Island.
Well, it turns out that was wrong. Two did manage to escape Marley, but one only went East.
The other went West to what was then Ceanti and now residing in Western Ceanti, which happened to be allies of the Republic of Liastria and the Conia Territories. However, unlike Liastria or Conia, Western Ceanti had a considerably smaller population than the other three countries. Its people lived in rural areas and preferred more traditional ways of living, leaving acceptance of urbanization slow. Its neighboring sister country, Eastern Ceanti, was in the opposite situation. People lived in major cities and quickly accepted the emergence of industrialization, which provided and supplied a significant volume of the Western country's supplies for the war.
Like Otril, Eastern Ceanti wasn't a participant in the war or part of the alliance. However, it remained neutral and played the role of weapon dealers from the cash cow that was the war against Marley.
There were two ways a titan shifter could be in two locations across the oceans from each other. It could be that the shifter resided in Liastria and was planned to be used as a tool in the war, and what Bernhardt had pieced together from the previous Beast user's memories was shit.
That or the shifter had either moved to a safer location in the mountains of Ceanti.
Regardless, this left Marley's brass in a bind and halted the original plan of sending you to Liastria.
Instead, they turned to pressuring the bordering country and scaring some other countries on the continent. Marley was being sanctioned heavily because of the war they inadvertently created. Many nations disagreed with how the Tripact Alliance handled things but didn't agree with how aggressively Marely was pushing back. You were sure several war crimes had already been committed over the past two years.
"This is going to choke Marley's resources," Bernhardt looked down at the newspaper you had brought him, a frown on his face.
You were seated across from him in the office that the heads were oh-so charitable in giving him. Well, that was a lie; it was a shared office between him and the Captain of the Warrior Unit. It had been a few weeks since the ceremony, but he had been moved up from vice-chief to captain. It also happened that your chief, Magath, was being considered for a military promotion. It was almost guaranteed he'd get it soon, if anything.
"And you didn't bother to tell them no?" You couldn't help but exasperate to him.
Bernhardt sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It's not that easy... Ritter and Magath already tried to warn them, but they didn't care to listen to Ritter, and Magath was outnumbered in the decision."
Yvo crossed his arms, "And in the end, Ritter knew the situation better than any of them there on the southern front...this is a gamble for Marley."
Ritter was the current captain of the Warrior Unit and the holder of the Armored Titan. He had been stationed at the southern front at the border of Liastria for about a year since they had become trouble there and only now came back to Libero to meet with you all here. He was also finally being put into retirement soon, which was just the euphemism used to mean that his time was up as the Armored Titan, and subsequently be eaten and die.
He was a nice man, wise and reliable. He was about twenty-eight, you believed, still so young to die in the way he would go out, but younger men died out on the battlefield. Despite his young age, he looked quite older. Most of his dark hair and beard had greyed, as well as dark circles and prominent facial lines. You would have thought he was in his late forties.
It was the Curse of Ymir that ultimately made him look that way.
"They're putting the draft into effect," Bernhardt muttered, crossing his arms and looking out his office window. "It's a lottery, and they've already announced the first group of numbers. The men should be getting notices starting tomorrow."
They're that desperate now, then.
The four of you in the room went quiet for a while until Dedrich continued the conversation again.
"Where are they going to deploy the Eldian Unit next?" Bernhardt shrugged to Ded's question.
"Up to Magath in the end if he wants to take them to the south to support efforts there or to split them and send some to Liastria and Eastern Ceanti? No one would blame him if he chose to do either."
The older teen mumbled, pausing to ask, "You said your cousin was in the Eldian Unit, right?"
You gave him an incredulous look, choosing to believe he wasn't stupid to ask that question purposely.
Ded shifted beside you in the chair beside yours, "Yes."
It was a curt response and perhaps one that Bernhardt could not have been all satisfied only receiving, but he was cut off by a knock at the door.
"Come in," Bernhardt called out.
The door opened and revealed a familiar blond.
"Sorry to interrupt your little meeting," Volker said, eyeing the three of you, "but the captain wants to see Amsel."
You turned to look at Ded, who blinked owlishly before sighing.
"That's right..." he mumbled, standing up from his seat. "He did say he wanted to see me today."
He looked down at you and Yvo, "I'm sorry. I forgot that I already had an engagement with him. You two can go on ahead home. It might take a while."
Yvo waved it off, "We can wait for you."
Ded frowned, "You sure?"
You affirmed by nodding, "Yeah, just go and meet with him. We'll linger around for a while, and if you do take up extra time, I promise we'll head home, alright? Sound good?"
You saw Volker want to roll his eyes at your assurance but ignored him in favor of seeing Ded's reaction.
He looked reluctant to accept your terms but gave in and smiled appreciatively. "That does, thank you. I'll hopefully see you later then."
He excused himself from the three of you and then Volker before leaving. The blond still stuck by the door, making you believe he wanted to talk to Bernhardt, and who were you to refuse him to kiss his ass and shine his boots.
"Well, we talked about what I was concerned about..." you got up and tapped Yvo's leg to alert him to do the same. "You can keep the paper to read up on for amusement, but we'll take our leave now."
Bernhardt grunted, "Alright. I'll see you when I see you. Keep an eye on Amsel, alright? I don't know if I put him in a depressing mood or not with my question."
You waved him away, reaching the door first and avoiding catching Volker's gaze.
"Yeah, I will."
You waited for Yvo to exit and the door to close so you could grunt, giving the door the evil eye before walking away. Yvo looked amused by your behavior, saying nothing, but his face said it all.
The two of you fell into a pleasant gait with one another and made way for the training grounds, seeing it now be used to train new Eldian Soldiers recruits.
If you recalled, you could see the female recruit within one of the newest platoons, being the first to offer service voluntarily. It was an odd sight but one you weren't surprised by. If girls could be recruited into the warrior program, then women could become soldiers as well.
It seemed Yvo was also eyeing her from your spot, looking out the grounds, watching her intently as the platoon began to run an obstacle course.
A sudden urge to tease him arose within you, and you couldn't help but smile at your nature to do so.
"She's pretty cute, isn't she, Yvo?" It was a shallow observation. She was just doing her thing, warfare training. There was nothing cute about that. "She reminds me of one of the girls from our school days. She had a similar face shape and eyes. Although, I've already forgotten her name..."
He shifted beside you and spared you a glance as if unsure of how to reply.
"Mm, yeah."
Not the rouse you wanted, so you pressed a little more.
"Want me to ask if she wants to grab a bite with you tomorrow?" You asked, crossing your arms with a grin. "I've talked to her a few times, so she'll trust me when I say you're a good guy."
Yvo didn't look the least bit flustered or excited by the idea. And internally, you knew you had failed again. That was Yvo for you, about the same passion and emotion as a rock—a real nonsense kind of guy.
"There's no dating allowed between the military."
Another loss for you.
You heaved a sigh, "What a shame, right? You could be star-crossed lovers."
He gave a simple hum, and you sighed.
"What about you?"
The question caught you off guard.
"What about me...?" You replied, hesitant.
Yvo leaned against the brick fence post, glancing from the platoon to you. "You like anyone?"
You eyed the trainees warily, "From down there?"
"It could be anyone."
You were still thrown off by Yvo asking you such a thing that you weren't putting much thought into the answer.
"I like, uh, guys like...?" Now that you answered, you could see his focus on you, making you feel scrutinized. "I don't know. I haven't thought about that since I was a kid... Too much going on, you know?"
Yvo's honeyed eyes lingered on you as they had on the female trainee down below. Having known Ded since infancy, you could predict some of his thoughts. But when it came to Yvo, you had yet to get a good read of his thoughts. His deadpan nature was also something that made it hard to pin down. You didn't know if he was secretly critiquing you in his mind or if he was absorbing your answer.
He seemed to hesitate in his next question. "Do you like someone like me?"
Well, this really was entirely foreign to you. How did you respond to that?
With some reluctance, you laughed, "Sure I do. Who wouldn't?"
Yvo seemed to inch near you, making you feel slightly cornered despite being out in the open.
"So then, if I asked you out on a date, you'd say yes?"
Your mouth felt dry.
"I—uh—"
He inched closer again and couldn't help the slight squeak that came out of you.
"What if I asked you to marry me?"
"Hey, now—let's not get hasty—!"
You bumped into the side of the brick post, quickly reaching behind to keep yourself from falling over. Yvo stood only a few centimeters away, a blank stare.
Then he smiled.
"Just kidding."
There was no helping the strangled noise that came out of your throat.
"Hey—wait, you—!" He turned away quickly to avoid facing you, letting you reach out and grab hold of his collar and shake him. "What—that wasn't funny, you know! Yvo—hey!"
He seemed to be holding back a chuckle, trying to play it off as a grunt.
"Don't like it when you get teased like that, right?" he mumbled, and you jabbed your fingers at his side, making him shirk away with a tiny grunt. "I'll stop—I'll stop—!" he raised his voice a little, and you were a bit shocked to hear such emotion in his voice.
You harassed him some more, finding him running away from you instead. You shouted for him to return and take his punishment, only to chase after him swiftly.
You were sure that without Ded and Yvo, you wouldn't have made it this far.
====
While your deployment day was pushed back, this didn't mean things for the others weren't progressing.
Out of the six warriors, three had inherited their titans. Bernhardt was first, of course, receiving the Beast Titan. Volker was soon to follow, having been chosen as the inheritor of the Cart Titan. The most recent inheritor was Maddie, which came as a bit more of a surprise to everyone, including herself. She has been tasked with being the next inheritor of the Female Titan.
While the scheduling was a bit of a shock, it made more sense after the announcement. The Female Titan was known for being versatile compared to the others, and that was the kind of flexibility that Marley needed in its forces—that, as well as an extra push in terms of power.
Leaving for the next chosen to receive their titan being Yvo.
"It'll be quick. The process won't be drawn out."
Bernhardt tried to reassure the younger teen, finding that it didn't quite do its job as you sat in the waiting room. You weren't allowed to attend his inheriting ceremony, as the first time was only supposed to be a one-time thing. Bernhardt was the one to accompany him today, and you and Ded were to wait for the ceremony to be completed. After a medical check and some tests, you could reunite with him again.
"Is it really that fast?" Ded asked, pouring Yvo a glass of water to sip on.
Bernhardt was caught hesitating with a slight smile. "I mean..." he trailed off, staring off at the wall for a few seconds before turning to look at you. "It was quick, right, [Name]? You saw the whole thing."
You were put on the spot, but found it weird that he needed your confirmation to sell his words.
"It was," you said, looking at Yvo. "It didn't last long."
Yvo slid his gaze over to the three of you sitting on the seats next to him, grunting, "I'm not afraid."
His gaze slowly fell to the floor when he looked away, however.
"But this would be my first time...technically taking someone's life."
The tone of the conversation became grim, making you feel the inner turmoil that could be brewing in Yvo. Of course, everyone knew this would happen one day, but when faced with the real deal, it was a tough pill to swallow.
"You're a soldier."
Bernhardt took off his glasses, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to clean the lenses as he muttered. "It's fine that you feel that way since you're still a child, but that's what you signed up for. In war, hesitation to kill someone could cost you your life. And dying isn't something that we can afford, especially not with the power you're going to be receiving."
The door opened, and in stepped Volker.
It was evident by the expression on his face that he had been listening in, if not even more apparent by what he said.
"That's right. After today, you're not just a regular old soldier."
He looked at the three of you, coming to stand beside Bernhardt, who slipped his glasses back on. "Once you become a titan holder, you give your life to Marley. You become simple military dogs. When your owners say sit, you sit. When they say heel, you heel..."
His voice lowered a decibel, muttering.
"If they say kill, you do as they say."
You wondered if you could do that again when it counted. That day, when you were kidnapped and stashed down in the cellar, you were driven by an almost pure animalistic need to survive. Those men who died that day by your and Ded's actions were a testament to your capabilities. But Yvo had never done such a sin. He had never killed anyone by defense or willfully. Becoming a Warrior was almost guaranteed that he would eventually have blood on his hands.
Silence passed, and Volker spoke again, walking back over to the door. "It's time. Say your prayers or whatever you need on the way."
Bernhardt stood with a small sigh before following him, and Yvo stood up, too. He lingered at his spot, staring at the door momentarily before looking back to you and Ded.
You gave a tiny smile. "You'll still be Yvo after the ceremony. Don't let Brandt scare you."
Ded also offered some support, "We'll be waiting for you here."
His shoulders lifted a little, the slightest relief in his eyes.
He didn't need to say anything back because that look said it all. Ded and you watched the door close and bathed in the aftermath of his leave.
There was a lack of conversation between you for a good minute until you could see Ded shift in his seat, his body language telling that he wanted to say something.
"Speak your peace, Dedrich."
He glanced over to you, exhaling softly through his nose and lingering in the silence that followed before he spoke.
"Ritter and Magath both confirmed my date," he murmured, rubbing a thumb over the skin of one of his cupped hands. "Day after tomorrow."
You processed the news a couple of seconds before asking. "Which one?"
The question referred to what titan he'd be getting, of course. Last time, you knew he was being considered for the jaw titan or the cart, but one of those had already been assigned and taken.
He stared at the cream-colored wall across from you and broke into a breathy chuckle, shaking his head.
"You're not going to believe it," he said, eyeing you.
You shifted in your seat to sit up a little straight, intrigued by his prelude of a response.
"Is it...not the Jaw Titan?"
He gave a wry smile.
"It's the Armored Titan."
The Armored Titan. The one that you were put up as a possible candidate for. It was ironic at this point.
You couldn't help but give a sardonic chuckle of your own, dragging a hand down on the side of your face. "The Armored... The brass sure is making a lot of weird decisions as of late."
"I told them I wasn't suited for the Armored Titan," he sighed, crossing his arms. "I'm better suited for the Jaw Titan..."
The original reason why Ded was considered for the following Jaw Titan user was because of his agility. Despite how lanky and out of shape he used to look, he was one of the more athletic out of your bunch, rivaling you, Maddie, and Hermine. He could both outrun and outpace any of you any time of the week. The Armored Titan was far from agile, with its typically huge and stocky features. It was a hulking unit meant more for defense and use as a battering ram. While you couldn't quite see why they had gone with that choice at first, the more you thought about it, the more sense it made.
"I think you're suited for it."
Ded's eyes flickered over to you in surprise. "Really...? I don't think..."
"The Armored Titan is just a big wall. It's not fast, sure, but it's a reliable titan. It protects the troops and can take a lot of damage. It doesn't give up easily, sort of like you," you recalled the long, grueling two years you've had, "I've never once heard you complain or have second thoughts on...all this."
It was true. There'd be days when you wanted to give up and accept your fate, but Ded was always there to cheer you on and pull you back up when needed. He was strong like that, and you realized your will was considerably weaker than his. After all, you wouldn't have made a good Armored Titan, and you were sure it was the right decision to give it to Ded now.
His eyes were glued to the side of your face, and when you peeked at him, you saw him regard you with a sense of awe.
"I'm glad it was you and not me," you laughed. "I would have been a walking disaster. Let's...do our best, whatever happens down the road—the three of us."
The initial shock of praising him must have worn off because he then chuffed and shook his head. "Yeah....let's do our best. But...please don't put yourself down. You don't realize...how great you are sometimes."
A little part of you swelled with joy at his words, and you hoped it didn't show on your face; otherwise, you'd be mortified.
When it seemed like a comfortable air would sit in the room, trouble just had to be knocking at the door, literally.
"Bernhardt!"
The door swung open, revealing a frenzied Hermine behind it. You stood instinctively, immediately recognizing the haste and anxiety in her voice.
"He left some minutes ago with Yvo and Volker," you stated, causing her to hiss out a curse.
"What is it?" Ded asked, also getting up from his seat.
Hermine's face became distressed. "Otril's...navy is heading this way. For the port."
Heading here? For Libero? Otril?
You could hear shouting down the hall, calling for others to gather and an alarm to be sounded.
"They're probably in the middle of the ceremony right now," Ded muttered hastily. "Does the Captain know?"
"He's reporting to the Commanders as we speak," she replied. "They're in an emergency meeting with our Navy officials. They want Bernhardt to be ready to defend Libero if they breach the blockade."
In that case, you should all prepare quickly.
"I'll go run for the others underground then," you brisked over for the exit. "Find Madee and report to the captain. I'll bring them to the rendezvous."
She gave a nod and took off. You looked to Ded, "Go with her. I'll catch you in a bit."
"You sure?" He asked, reluctant to leave you alone, it seemed.
"We need everyone moving right now," you told him, grabbing his arm and giving an assuring squeeze. "I'll be fine. I need to get the others."
That was enough to get Ded to agree and take off in the direction Hermine did. You went the opposite way, pumping your arms and legs as fast as you could as you heard the alarms blare louder.
Everything would turn out okay. Everyone here was competent. There were probably evacuations going on in the city.
It would take about five minutes to walk to the bunker's entrance, but with you sprinting, it took only about a minute. There wasn't anyone posted outside the doors, so you figured they were stationed inside. You pounded on the doors, knowing they would be locked during the ceremony. After a few seconds, you heard a voice bark that you weren't allowed inside.
"You idiots!" You shouted, kicking the door, "Marley is being attacked at her borders! Open the damn door before I break it down!"
It was a stupid thing to say. The doors were made of solid metal. But you hoped it drove home your desperation.
"Ships are heading towards the port!" You pounded on the door again. "I need to report this to Chief Magath!"
A few seconds later, the door creaked open, and you shoved your hand inside to squeeze inside in case they quickly changed their minds. They seemed agitated by your stirrup, but you gave them no room to say anything and booked it down the short stairs to the ramp.
"Chief!"
He was standing next to Bernhardt and one of the commanders from the board. They were closely watching a titan slowly evaporate, and you immediately knew that the exchange of powers had ended just before you came barging inside.
You breathed, finding yourself a little winded from the running and shouting. "The port...navy ships from Otril...are coming for Libero's port...!"
Magath's eyes widened considerably, but mostly in alarm than what could be called surprise. The commander next to him swore under his breath, and Bernhardt's face turned tired-looking, already looking to be exhausted by the mayhem to come.
"How far are the ships?" Magath was the first to act in gathering information, but you unfortunately couldn't answer.
"I'm just here to relay the info," you told him quickly, "I don't know the whole scope of the situation at the moment. The alarms are going off right now—I think there might be evacuations taking place."
"Their goddamn navy?" The commander shouted with equal parts fury and distress. "They're going to blow all our damn ships in the water...! Their navy is unparalleled...!"
And while the commander was having a minor crisis, all three of you, Magath, Bernhardt, yourself, looked at him with contempt and pity. They had been warned that pushing that stuffed envelope would make it burst, and that's precisely what had happened. Now, the world's current leader in arms and the best naval fleet was coming for you.
These poor stupid fools had signed all your death warrants.
But either out of this pity you had for him or the maturity for realizing it was not the time to antagonize him for his and the board's decisions, you said nothing to him. Instead, Magath, having the most grip on his sanity and nerve, turned to look back at the blob with bones and skull poking out in the clouds of steam that seeped out from Yvo's titan.
"Then we need to blow them out of the water first," he muttered.
It didn't take a genius to know what he meant by that—seeing how his gaze was stuck on the small movement underneath a pile of thick flesh where the oversized skull's nape once resided. You could only stand and watch grimly.
After a few seconds, Yvo emerged, naked as the day he was born and with a dazed expression on his face. He looked far away, hair clinging to his face, damp, markings lining under his face and chin after the striations of muscle connected to those locations snapped away.
"Hoch," Magath called out to him.
He didn't reply, still looking to be in that faraway world he was currently in.
"Hoch," Magath repeated, hoping to snap him back to awareness.
You knew you shouldn't worry, but seeing him like that, you couldn't help but try to get his attention.
And then, finally, he slowly seemed to come back to the present with your voice.
"[Name]?" He mumbled.
He was confused about your presence, no doubt.
"We have an emergency on our hands, Hoch," Magath told him, approaching him with a sheet he snatched away from one of the nearby soldiers on standby. "It's too soon to have you out on the field, or should I say, out on the waters, but if you want to protect this city and your family—you need to be ready to transform."
Yvo had no immediate reaction to the news, no shock or negative emotion. He looked to be processing sudden notice carefully as Magath draped the sheet over his shoulders.
"I want..."
Magath waited for him to continue, and Yvo's amber eyes lifted from the floor to meet yours.
"...[Name] and Dedrich...on the ship with me."
Before you had anything to say about that, or anyone else for that matter, the commander present had finally snapped back to his senses and declared his refusal.
"No," he scowled, looking from you to Yvo. You could see Bernhardt's face turning from weary to annoyed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose and rub his forehead. "That's absurd! We can't send out a candidate who hasn't received his titan yet and have an ordinary soldier on the front line! It's a waste of resources which we can—"
"With all due respect, Commander Geier," Magath interrupted, sounding less than disingenuous while he scowled at the higher-ranking official behind him, "but this is my jurisdiction. These two are my subordinates and are still overseen by myself. While the advice is appreciated, leave this matter to me and converge with the council upstairs."
If there was a time you appreciated how intimidating Magath was, it was now. While he might be challenging authority, he did it... politely enough that the commander could only give a disgruntled sound and walk away.
With him leaving, Magath turned back to Yvo, grabbing his shoulder and only having to look down a few centimeters to meet his eyes.
You could hear him mumble to him, "I'll put even a cow, if you want, on that damn ship, but so long as you don't buckle under the pressure, Hoch. If you don't give Marley the advantage to clear out the bulk of those ships...it'll cost us the war."
Yvo nodded wordlessly, and Magath then pulled away and immediately began shouting for one of the soldiers to get Yvo some pants.
"Fuchs!"
Bernhardt replied smoothly. "Chief!"
"You're going with them. Hope you can swim in your Beast form!" Magath swiftly brushed past both of you, shouting some more and leaving the younger man to contemplate the decision made for him silently.
"I do, too..." he muttered, locking gazes with you and sighing.
He approached you and began to steer you away from your spot. "Come on, let's get ready."
You quickly protested, "But Yvo—"
"Is going to put some clothes on—he'll be fine," he told you, shoving you when you stopped. "If I were you—I'd get worried about never having learned to swim."
"Do you?" You asked.
Bernhardt replied confidently, "Yes, by miracle, but you don't need to worry about the details. Let's just get ready, like I said."
You could only spare Yvo a glance over your shoulder before hurrying back to ground level. It would just be a short separation.
==
While Marley's navy ships had departed the port in numbers, you had a quick chance to listen to the plan the commanders and Magath had hastily hashed out. Otril was notorious for having a considerable, amazing navy and equipping them with heavy cannons that could severely damage other ships. Unfortunately, Marley had a navy with a little less than half of Otril's; on top of that, average-grade cannons and weapons were equipped on their ships.
The hope was that by using the Colossal Titan, the magnitude of the transformation could wipe out a good majority of their ships. A hand batting some more ships around was enough to clear out most of their fleets, giving Marley a chance to fight back. Bernhardt would also be sent out to help destroy some of the ships by tossing barrels of explosives to the remaining navy.
It made you believe that Bern already knew what his titan form looked like, as well as some others like Magath and Ritter. You wondered when they took him away to study or observe him without any of the other warriors knowing.
And as Yvo had requested, you and Dedrich were put on the same ship as he and Bernhardt were on to be used as transport. The idea was that from a close point, the two titan shifters would take a small, personal boat out closer to the ships so they could transform without casualties.
It almost felt surreal to be out on a boat, on the ocean you've only heard about through word of mouth and from a set of binoculars. It was so much bluer in person, and the smell was more distinct than from inland.
"It's so vast."
Even Dedrich couldn't help but comment on it, wide-eyed with interest behind his wireframes.
Yvo stood wedged between the two of you, hand gripping the top deck railing while you and Ded monetarily forgot that you were on a speeding boat heading for a giant fleet of ships.
"That's right," he mumbled, more to himself it sounded, "the two of you have never seen the ocean this close before."
And again, you forgot the impending doom that laid up your head, turning your head to look at him rather than at the deep blue below. "Ah, you came from one of Conia's islands, right, Yvo? Was the water this color too?"
Yvo shook his head, hair flying and strewing around like yours and Ded's. One of his hands formed a ring around his wrist and gently rubbed the skin.
"The water...was lighter. It matched the sky and some parts...the water wasn't so salty," he said, eyes fixing on the specks not too far away, and he then quickly fell silent.
You could see his hand clench around his wrist, almost frightfully so. That was more than enough to bring you out of your childish wonder.
"I saw some of...his memories."
It was easy to know he was talking about memories he saw from receiving his titan powers—memories from the previous holder.
Yvo's voice took on a wispy staccato and yet was loud enough to beat the rush of wind.
A familiar weight sat on your chest when hearing his voice turn small like that. The painful ache of knowing you were powerless to help him.
His hand visibly tensed, tightening even more around his other hand, which now trembled.
Yvo's eyes were wide with terror and anguish.
"I...I'm going to kill... many people...."
His voice cracked.
"I'm...going to be a monster... I..."
You looked out at the ships that got closer and closer with each kilometer the ship ventured out. It was a lovely day, too; you'd think you'd seen this view before, maybe in a painting or a forgotten dream.
"And when you come back...you'll still be our friend, Yvo."
You placed your hand over his and palmed it tightly, holding it with reassuring strength as you gave him a sad smile. Yvo's tearful eyes snapped over to you, brimming with more tears.
"We have no right to judge you," Ded mumbled on his right, flashing him a wry smile of his own. "We're the same here. We're all...just military dogs following what our owners tell us to do."
That's right. It's just like Volker had said in the waiting room. At the end of the day, you were just doing what you were told to do. You signed your lives away to listen to what these men in suits told you to do.
Really, no different than dogs.
Yvo closed his eyes, hands now clutching onto yours and Ded's as if to search for strength in them. The cool winds of the ocean quickly dried up his years, and Yvo opened his pinkened eyes to the ships that were now visible before you.
"It's time to go."
Bernhardt called out for Yvo to follow him.
Yvo sought assurance once more from each of you.
"You promise? We'll still be friends after..."
"We promise."
And after hearing your words, he nodded, pulled his hands away, and descended the ladder after Bernhardt.
The ship had stopped to let them get on the small motorboat they would take. It didn't take long before your eyes could see their figures inside the small boat as they went ahead of Marley's navy.
You had no room to judge; Dedrich was right. Just as you had decided to give up your life and do unspeakable things to better your family's life, so had Yvo. That boy you had almost squabbled with that day on school grounds was one of your best friends. You looked out for each other. You laughed and smiled together. He had shown himself to be a kindhearted and caring young man.
He wasn't a monster.
Bernhardt fired a flare into the air, signaling that they would transform soon, and after Yvo took charge of steering, he jumped out of the boat a little way before the halfway mark. Yvo kept going alone. He needed to transform as far out as he could so the waves wouldn't swallow your ships and that the transformation's damage could impact the enemy's ships more effectively.
"It's a beautiful day."
Ded had scooted a little closer to you, his blue eyes reflecting the scene of a giant flash that burned almost as bright as the sun.
You watched as a giant plume of steam and water almost consumed your field of view, blocking out the beauty you could only truly envision in your imagination.
"It is."
The first set of waves began to rock the boat violently.
You could make out something red peeking out from the smoke before being ordered inside the cabin.
====
You probably finally made it home about a day later, in the throes of the night. You still wore about the same uniform from when you had one previously, now dried off but smelling of smoke and salt water, slightly sticky and uncomfortable with other stuff it had absorbed. You managed to change socks and boots to prevent trench foot.
Evacuations took place, but after the chaos off the coast was over, Marley citizens and Eldians were let back into the city. Apparently, there was some ruckus with the Marleyans fearing that it still wasn't safe, so they let back all the Eldians in first to assure that nothing would happen and that the threat of Otril's navy was no more.
And that's why you journeyed to come back after your usefulness to HQ was all used up. Yvo had to stick around a little longer along with Ded, and you were sent back because you weren't technically a warrior.
At that point, you didn't want to deal with any more military affairs.
You just wished you were there to ensure the boys were doing okay. Especially Yvo.
"I'm home..."
The door was unlocked, so you walked right in after making sure you saw the small glimmer of light peeking through the curtains and window. Power was out in the zone again, redirected. There was more than enough to power everything outside the walls, though.
With slight disgust, you slid off your armband, the cloth feeling coarse and rough between your fingers, and crumpled it in your hand. Afterward, you shrugged off your coat and approached one of the table chairs, the last one unoccupied. But there were five chairs set at the table rather than four. Milo's father sat in one of them, next to his son, who was sitting on the opposite side of him, and at the head sat your mother. They all stared at you silently as you peeled off to your first layers and sat at the table haphazardly. Your sigh sounded almost like a roar in the dimly lit room.
Your eyes burned despite the warm light provided by the candle and oil lanterns lit, and you closed them to rub at your eyelids gently.
"Welcome home," your mother's voice sounded somber, yet she tried to project her usual greeting warmly.
You weren't sure if there was any conversation happening before your arrival. And you weren't sure if you wanted to hear talking to mask your exhaustion or if you wanted peace and quiet so you could pass out at the table.
But you decided to check up on everyone before you got any rest.
"Were you given any rations to eat?" you asked.
The question was directed towards everyone, of course.
"Yes, we were able to eat something," Milo's father answered quietly.
Maybe it was the heat exhaustion making you feel delirious enough to begin fussing about them eating because you stood up from your seat and walked over to where the skillets were.
"[Name]," you heard the slight squeak of your mother's chair as you rummaged through the crate of straw bags where you kept your fresh produce. "What are you doing?"
You pushed up your sleeves and grunted, "Making food. We're all hungry."
You could hear the raspiness of your voice, almost gruff from shouting on the ship and accessing little water around the clock.
"You don't need to—"
"Mom, can I please just—?"
"—do it all on your own. I'll help."
While you were prepared to fight for the right to do something as simple as cooking, despite how raw you felt emotionally and physically, you weren't readily prepared to receive that response.
It felt like you were snapped out of a spell, pulled back from an out-of-body experience.
You were home. Your family was here. And you would be having dinner at the hour close to midnight.
The feeling of a hand gently grabbing the side of your face and pulling it to the side registered a bit late, and so did the chaste kiss pressed against your disheveled hair.
You ran around and helped blow navy ships to Kingdom Come the day prior.
And today, you had dinner with your family.