"You Can't Catch Me"
Feeling my breath hitch, I watched the person point the gun at me, as they climbed out of the drivers seat, while I watched another car pull up behind, but was stopped at the tall gates that had always kept me trapped in here. The same gates that people always see surrounding rich castles in dystopian movies.
I never would have thought, that I would see this day, where my own brother is holding a gun that is pointed towards his own little sister. A scream with a gasp came from behind me, but I held my bag even tighter on my shoulders. At this point, I could care less whether or not he killed me, on my own doorstep.
"Lijah, put that gun down!" my mothers voice was muffled by the hand that I knew was holding her scarf to her mouth. If my brother didn't kill me right now, I would forever be indebted to my mother for her saving my life. I watched from a distance, as I saw someone else's figure climb over the fence that I hated, with such ease, as my mother continued to plea my brother.
Elijah was shaking his hand as sweat dripped from the clasp he had on the gun, while he was squinting his eyes. It was like he was trying to toss up whether I was his sister or not, and if I was worth going to jail for murder. I knew that I wasn't worth it, and I think he knew it too. He had always known it and he had made sure that I had known it.
But right now, with the gun still pointed at me, I wasn't so sure this was the same brother that I had seen in that photo. "Mother, I can end all of your suffering, right here, right now" my brother shook the gun in my face, as I felt the first tear trickle down, while I still watched the figure slowly approach.
I knew I caused my mother grief. I caused her more than grief. I was a disappointment and a mistake. I didn't fit in, as I was nothing like the rest of my siblings. I was not pretty like my older sister, I didn't have confidence like Elijah, and I most certainly didn't have the popularity and the skill to just talk to anyone and anybody like Sebastian did, even if I had seen him being a douchebag.
From the way that my father never spoke to me nor did he take any interest in what I did, or how good I was at a sport, I knew he didn't like me. He had never taken the time to sit down with me and ask how my sport was going at the time. He didn't care, as he was just some absent figure in my life that had always and will always back whatever my brothers do.
If my father was here, he would be backing Elijah, over me. I knew that my mother was causing a tear in the family by standing here. The only reason she was telling him to put the gun down was so that the two of them wouldn't go for jail, as she would be an accessory in it all, if she didn't go down with me.
I don't even get why my brother was doing this to me. I had never done anything to spite him, yet I had a hundred million things that I could pin him down for, but I never did. I knew that if I was holding a gun, like my brother was to me, I would regret it for years. I would never see myself in the same way that my brother could just easily do.
Not only had the tears that were flowing down my cheeks increased, but the sudden need for rain had appeared. It felt like a scene from a movie almost. The same movies that I had watched in the comfort of my bedroom, while I had plugged in my headphones so I could stop hearing the yelling that my parents did about me and who I had become.
I watched, as the figure had finally made it up the driveway, and was now millimeters from grabbing the gun from my brothers hand. Once Hugo had grabbed it, and thrown it away, before he was strangling my brother, I ran. I grabbed the gun, making sure that it was on safety, before I was running.
I could hear my brother screaming and yelling, mixed with my mother yelling at me to come back inside, but it was just something I didn't care to listen to anymore. I ran into his arms, as he pulled me into him, tightly, before he was folding my shivering form into the backseat of the car. He climbed in, as we awaited for Hugo to come back from strangling my brother.
My shivering body would not move, as I watched Hugo run back to the car in the pouring rain, after he had pushed my brother inside, after checking that he had no weapons on him. Hugo was a good person for checking that my brother could not kill someone else today, unlike me who was still holding his gun.
I couldn't move my grip on the gun, as it was surprisingly heavy. For the first time in 15 years, I was holding a gun, that was presumable under my brothers name. It was the same gun that he had just pointed at me, only minuets ago. I didn't feel comfortable with that knowledge, nor could I drop the gun into someone else's possession.
Hearing the car door open, and close, I knew Hugo had slid into the passenger seat. I didn't move, not even when Teddy had wrapped his arm around my shoulders, secretly trying to distract me so that I would let go of the gun. I was so paralyzed, that I couldn't take my eyes off my own front door, and when I felt a hand on my wrist, I jumped, but still didn't take my gaze away.
I just couldn't. The fear was consuming me, that my brother could storm out that front door, and charge towards me with a hundred bullets and guns, just because today he decided that I deserved to die in my own house. He didn't like me, so that meant that killing me was the easiest thing, as he had ignored me my entire life.
"Eve, can I have the gun?" immediately, I shook my head at Hugo, who had turned in his seat to face me. I didn't trust anyone to have the gun, besides me. This gun was something that could end my life in a second, and I didn't want anyone to have it. I didn't want anyone else to have the power to stand in front of me, and shove a gun in my face.
Today, Elijah showed me how much power and control he had over me. But now, I had run away, so that he couldn't catch me, and strangle me before he would point another gun in my face. "Eve" the sympathy that was in his tone made me want to divert my gaze away from the spot in the windshield that I was staring a burning hole through.
A soothing hand met my cold shoulder, as he pulled my tired body into his, immediately warming me up. As much as I didn't want to, I curled up into his body, tucking my legs underneath me as I laid my head down in his lap. I felt comfortable enough to do this, so when I handed the gun to Hugo, I felt my entire body collapse.
My eyes shut, as I felt the soothing hand continue to run up and down my back, which was enough to put me to sleep. To put my racing mind to bed for a little while, and so that I could forget about what had happened last night and just this morning, in my own house, which was just house, a building, but never a home to me. It never had been a home and never will be one to me.
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Waking up, in a completely unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar things going on around me, set immediate panic through my entire body. I could feel someone's arms wrapped around me from behind, which made me panic even more. What happens if this was my brothers plan all along, to just catch me, right here in his arms.
Trying to sit up, I only felt the person behind me tighten their hold, as they nestled their head into my shoulder and neck. This comfort, this hugging thing, felt weird and unfamiliar to me. None of this had ever happened to me, and I wanted out. I didn't like it and it made me feel hot and sticky all over.
"Eve" the voice from behind me mumbled, all raspy and unclear, but I had heard exactly what he had said. It was my name, coming from the voice of someone I had been missing for years, and not from the brother that had nearly killed me twice in 24 hours. This person that was holding me in their arms, would never do what my brother had done.
What my brother had done, would be for most, unforgiveable. But something in me, told me that it wasn't him that had wanted to kill me. I knew that I would never see him the same way or be the person he wanted me to be anymore. I saw him in a new light, and I didn't want to be anywhere near him for months, maybe even a few years.
I don't understand why he so badly wanted to kill me, either with his own hands or a gun. Sebastian wasn't any better than Elijah was either. They both had played a part in trying to kill me, and no one had stopped them. No one had reprimanded them and told them that they had been naughty. No one said anything about it because they were boys, men, and I was just a little, irrelevant girl.
As much as they had always wanted to hate me, I couldn't quiet find it in me to hate them. I didn't like them, that was for sure. I was scared of them, fearing of their every move. But what I did know, was that the little girl in me had always followed them around the house, just wanting to be included, even if it meant that I would get hurt in the process.
Many scars lined my body, that were not from being thrown around by my brothers, just so that they could run away from me, and make fun of me. Plenty of it was from the different sports that I had been thrown into all the time. The schedule that had ruined my mind from not stopping at any point in time.
Sport had ruined me. Both mentally and physically. If I wasn't second best to my sister, then I was second best to someone else. Whether they, my parents, talked about someone else's suffering, or about how injured they must be, they never spoke highly of me. They never asked if my injuries were okay, or if I actually wanted to do another season of sport.
I knew that my body was on the brink of the need for a break, for an end to this vicious cycle that my parents had put in place for me. I would forever be indebted to them for the person that they have created, but I will always resent them for the way that my shins hurt when I walk, or that I can never fully breathe in deeply without knowing that my ribs aren't bruised in some way.
I was 15, and I was already considering to make an end to my sporting career. I had never been naked a captain of a team, nor had I ever been given an award for being the pest player or the coach's player. I was not that type of person, in everyone else's eyes. I knew that was for sure in the eyes of my parents. They didn't see me as the golden child, like they saw my sister.
I knew, that after the hundreds of sports that I had tried, that I had found my passion in running and volleyball, but I knew that it would all catch up to me eventually. That I wouldn't be returning to those sports, two years from now. My body would not be able to deal with the constant running ahead of those, only just for them to catch up to me.
"Eve, I can hear your brain from over here" the voice mumbled again, and I was about to apologize and take the blame, but he continued speaking, not giving me the chance. "Don't apologize, just rest" that was the hardest thing for someone like me to do. I had always constantly been on the run, constantly changing for those around me, that I just couldn't sit down and be still for a long period of time.
Even when I was asleep, I was running from something. "'M sorry" I muttered, feeling my body cave in on its own accord. My chin feel to my chest, as my hands tried to wrap around my body in the best way that they could, but I struggled with the arms that were wrapped around me, keeping me warm.
"You don't have to be sorry. What's on the schedule for today?" sitting up, he brought me up with him, as I just leant against him. It didn't feel like we were kids anymore, and I was almost about to blurt out to him how much I loved him for knowing me so well. He knew that I would always have a scheduled going at some point in time.
I thought for a moment, before speaking. "Ted, you don't have to do it with me. I can do it on my own" and I could almost hear the frown forming on his face from behind me, without even needing to look at him. He always frowned when I would take control of things, and not let other people do anything to help.
It was how I had been programmed to be.
This was the way of life, for me at least, and Teddy hadn't been involved. I wasn't sure I wanted him involved in my dark, twisted life. Everything had changed. "I do, because you need someone else with you now" and with that, I just leaned my head on the side of his shoulder, wanting nothing more than to just stay here, like this forever.
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thoughts? xx
slightly shorter chapter than the others sorry.