song: brutal - olivia rodrigo
moonbyeol➸
the morning started off like every other day in this household. dad, at work. mom, sociopathic and taking her frustration out on me. the bright rays of sunshine flooded through the windows and attempted to cheer up the gloomy home, but to no avail.
i didn't want to talk about the brutal exchange of words i had with my mom before leaving that hellhole, with most of the bullets coming from her side, for the record.
i opened my phone to distract myself on the way to school. what could a little more delay do, now that i was already late?
yunjin <3
yunjin <3 8:30AM
hii r u on ur way? ur pretty late
8:33AM me
sry
i'll reach in 5
....
in our friend group of 6, huh yunjin was the closest one. i never really interacted with the others. but i honestly appreciated that they even considered me their friend. for someone as depressing as me, i had a huge amount of "friends".
i reached school when the first class was almost over. the security guard was soft and always let the late kids in. he smiled at me as i walked into the school campus, of course i had to smile back. even if it took up all my energy. as i walked across the giant, green, lawn that divided the main building from the gates, i tried observing every detail, because it helped me focus.
as i walked into the standardized structure of the hallway, i was greeted by a flurry of students chatting, collecting books, moping about a class test, or celebrating because they passed one. i made my way to yunjin's locker, where all the girls were gathered.
"hi" i greeted her in the driest way a friend could possibly greet another. nevertheless, she responded with more enthusiasm.
"oh, you should be grateful you missed mr. kim's class! he terrorized everyone because we didn't complete the geography assignment!" she started exclaiming in english, which is something she did a lot, since she knew that i could understand and respond in the same language.
"stop talking in english, it's not fair!" ryujin complained, jokingly. lia laughed in response. "i swear, i will rip out my hair if mr. kim picks on my outfit one more time!" chaewon added to the forms of torture mr. kim was practiced in.
"every time, it's just chaewon and i, being dress coded!" yeji said in frustration. "i think-" "i even finished the goddamn project, but he turned it down!" lia cut me off. my chest burned with humiliation. hopefully no one had heard me speak up. i didn't need my fucking friends' sympathy.
it hurt sometimes. but once i had gotten used to it, it didn't seem that bad. i should be grateful that they even consider me their friend. i'd have no one else to spend time with. school would become another hellhole. that's right, i can live with this arrangement.
"i hate geography. mostly because of him. i have advanced mathematics now, you?" i replied, we were still conversing in english. "bio, still better than chemistry" she shuddered jokingly. before we went our separate ways, i hugged her to make sure she knew that i loved her, and to make up for that dry greeting.
....
as the class went on, i started doodling on the page i had initially kept there for the purpose of notetaking. besides, i knew i was safe. even if i was caught, i wouldn't get that bad of a punishment, because the math teacher, ms. cho, took a liking to me.
the 3 periods before lunch went by slowly, as if to mock the prisoners of the system, . after the lunch bell rang, i sneaked away to the library. every time at lunch, lia, yeji and ryujin sat one one side, and chaewon and yunjin on the other, before i even had time to choose, leaving me in an awkward position.
i felt guilty, ditching my friends without explanation, but i had developed a habit of skipping meals and was not hungry whatsoever.
the library was a place of solace. our school library, fortunately, was designed very well. it had a carpeted corner in which pillows were arranged as seats, to provide incredible comfort. though it was used mostly by primary sections who came here from the other building, the librarian always made exceptions for a couple seniors, including me.
as i entered the quiet room, i saw a familiar face seated with books on the table. seungmin was my cousin, but he treated me like his own sister. it was odd he was from my mother's side though, all of my maternal relatives were heartless bitches.
as i saw him near the tables, i decided against using my privileges to lounge on the cushions. i made my way to the bookshelves, searching for a book that i had been reading for the past few days.
i never took the risk of borrowing it, in case my mother ever found it while she was angry, and damaged it. as i was grazing my hand across the glorious titles, my hand was blocked by another's. i turned around, only to find...the boy from the garden?
he looked shocked, too. i had no idea we went to the same school. he awkwardly smiled, he smiled his squirrel-like smile that could light up the sky. i bowed to him quickly, and ran to seungmin's table with whatever book in my hand, in order to avoid anymore confusing interactions.
"woah, byeol, what was with the running?" seungmin said, taking a pause from his intense math marathon. "i saw someone i thought i knew from somewhere else, you know how i am with interaction" hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions. he made a face of amusement. "it's not like you're much better, remember shuhua yesterday?" i teased him about his latest interaction with his crush.
he blushed intensly before mumbling something about minding one's own business. i smiled in victory. seungmin and i were a match when it came to burning statements. regardless, i picked my book up. 'da vinci code - dan brown' it read. i went with the route of serendipity and started reading the book in my hand.
then, from behind my book, i saw him take a seat next to seungmin. "what took you so long?" seungmin asked him as if they were long-term friends. "couldn't find the textbook, some kid trashed it, rightfully so."
i decided to quickly get up and leave. "where are you going?" seungmin, i hate you. i had to turn around only to see the garden boy's face twist up in confusion and awe. he was staring at me wide eyed for the second time today.
i felt especially insecure being stared down by him, i just didn't know why. perhaps it was because he saw the rawest element of my personality, the one i revealed when we met, or rather, where we met. and now i was scared of judgement. i folded my hands and looked down, to try and make myself smaller.
"did you two secretly know each other and have some dramatic breakup or something?"
....
a/n: so i feel like this chapter was a waste of time, but i wanted to introduce moonbyeol's life so u guys could get a feel. i also felt like both of them were a bit too attracted to each other, even tho they met for only a couple mins but her thoughts this chapter were more of a "omg stranger has literally seen my true self" kind of thing and she kinda embodies me, i get rlly scared of judgement when im being myself, so i dont think shes a wimp or smth.
any suggestions to improve my writing? this is my first book ik, but i want to write better
tysmm for reading ily guys <33