Sirius Black
Sunday, 28th May 1972.
Hogwarts
April and almost all of May had passed in the blink of an eye. Remus and Peter did keep their promise when it came to mischief making in second semester and joined James and Sirius on most of the pranks. The Marauders were unstoppable.
Firstly, they charmed all desk chairs to release a farting noise every time someone sat on them, but conveniently, there were four uncharmed ones in every classroom. Then, Sirius and James laid the foundation for the exploding rocks prank.
They scattered little rocks all over the Clock Tower Courtyard and, due to the ground already being made of stone, the rocks were practically invisible. Remus and Peter then helped them to cast a time-delay spell so that all rocks would explode at the same time, when the courtyard was the busiest. Needless to say, this one earned them a three week detention.
Of course, they couldn't leave Snape's gang out of their plans, so the Marauders slipped them some hiccupping potion during dinner. Remus insisted on it being during dinner so that the Slytherins wouldn't have to skip any classes. The best part was the sight of red Snape trying to yell at Avery while being unable to keep from hiccupping. Oh, and they weren't caught this time.
Then James got some magical chalk from Mr. Potter. Whenever someone would use it, it would write the complete opposite word. It was hilarious watching as Slughorn tried to write the instructions for the potion they were brewing. Instead of writing counterclockwise, on the board was written clockwise which resulted in major explosion from every cauldron in the classroom.
All of these actions and their research on how to actually make a readable map made the semester pass in the blink of an eye. Sirius couldn't believe that his first year at Hogwarts was coming to an end in less than a month.
Truthfully speaking, he wasn't ready to return back to 12th Grimmauld Place, but he kept telling himself that the return will only be for a couple of weeks. That somehow sounded better than saying two months.
This time, compared to the last, he wasn't scared of returning there. Sirius knew that Regulus wouldn't be mad at him for not sending the letters, they had that talk on Christmas. Orion and Walburga already punished him for getting sorted into the wrong house so there was no reason for panic there either.
Now, it was more of an inconvenience to return to Islington if Sirius didn't count the excitement that rose in him at the thought of finally seeing his little brother.
Of course, he will miss James, Remus and Peter a lot, but he will have Regulus. Even better, he will not have to leave Regulus again on the 1st of September because this time the younger Black will be joining him in the journey to Hogwarts.
Sirius couldn't wait to introduce Reg to all of his friends, especially James. There was this vivid dream in his mind of the five of them sitting together in the Marauders' compartment on Hogwarts Express, but Sirius will have to wait for that moment to become a reality for a few more months.
Of course, there was another reason besides Regulus that kept his head up when it came to the 12th Grimmauld Place, the Black family's library. The restricted section was a complete bust. The only good thing that came from that mission was another secret passageway and Remus' brilliant idea for the map.
Sirius still couldn't believe how smart the boy was. The creativity and thoughtfulness somehow radiated off of him. It was one of his favorite moments when Remus would put on his thinking face. His brows would come closer just a tiny bit, but not enough to consider it a full frown and his eyes would squint—
"Mr. Black!"
Sirius startled as the DADA teacher called his name. At the same time, James dug his elbow into his rib to get his attention, but it was too late, the whole class was already looking at him.
"Sorry, Mr. Edwards. Bad night's sleep.", he tried the puppy eyes technique which, thankfully, worked. Mr. Edwards just shook his head and turned back to the board to continue his sketch of various wand movements for defensive spells against simple hexes.
When Sirius sank back into his seat, he noticed James' suspicious eyes, "What?", he frowned at the boy.
James kept the suspicious look, "What were you daydreaming about?"
This made Sirius laugh, So that's what this is about. He put on a smug smile, "Don't worry. I was just thinking about the map, nothing similar to your daydreaming.", he provoked the boy with glasses.
Even if James didn't believe that he actually liked Lily Evans, Sirius knew it. His friend would just zone out in classes and look at the red haired girl without even noticing what he was actually doing. Luckily for James, Sirius was a reasonable man, he will let him figure things out on his own, but a couple of jokes here and there won't hurt anybody.
Instantly, rosy blush spread across James' check, "I don't daydream.", the boy deadpanned. Sirius just raised an eyebrow at that statement and turned back towards the board, Mr. Edwards probably won't be that forgiving the second time around.
* * *
"Are you okay, Remus? You seem sick again?", Sirius questioned the tall boy once the Marauders sat down for lunch. It was a common knowledge among them that Remus was always sick, probably even once a month.
One more thing Sirius noticed was that Remus would somehow feel the sickness creeping in on him almost seven days before it even started. That would result in a week with cranky, irritated and angry Remus whom nobody had the guts to annoy.
Granted, it was quite a fair exchange since Remus would put up with most of their shenanigans throughout the rest of the month. Sirius supposed that even the most understanding and thoughtful people had to have some wild days.
Still eating an impressive amount of potatoes and chicken, the tall boy lifted his gaze in irritation. He then swallowed the bite currently occupying his mouth and gave Sirius an annoyed look, "I'm fine.", he exclaimed and then returned to his little feast.
Just like every other time, the boy gave a short answer, wanting to indicate to Sirius to leave the topic alone. Sirius just sighed to this ridiculous behavior. After all he was allowed to be concerned about his friend, especially since it seemed like Remus had some chronic illness.
Nonetheless, he kept his mouth shut and turned back to his plate as to not irritate the boy even more since just him breathing seemed to do the trick.
* * *
The rest of the day passed quickly, except for the History of Magic which always seemed to last a lifetime with professor Binns' monotone voice. At least Sirius and James invented a new guessing game. At the start of every class, they would bet on how many students will fall asleep and how many will actually pay attention.
So far James was winning, or at least they thought that James was winning since they couldn't keep count for the last fifteen minutes because they, too, had fallen asleep.
Sirius was woken up by slight shacking of his shoulders, "Sirius, come on. The lesson's over.", he could recognize Peter's voice, but just the thought of moving seemed quite unappealing to him.
Unfortunately, James took the matter into his own hands, quite literally. He got ahold of Sirius' shirt collar and flung the curly haired boy onto the floor.
Sirius landed on his butt, supporting himself on the elbows. Still in slight shock from this barbaric act, he just looked at James in disbelief, "You are a very evil person."
James just adjusted his glassed, "I thought I was an angel, but everybody's allowed to their own opinion.", he offered Sirius a hand while bearing a mischievous expression which the boy accepted.
He stood up dramatically and then exclaimed, "First they wound you, then they want to help you.", putting a hand on his forehead, Sirius pretended to be hurt, but Peter and James just rolled their eyes with bright smiles.
That was the moment Sirius noticed something was missing, "Where's Remus?"
The two boys already started walking towards the classroom door, but Peter turned around and started walking backwards as he gave Sirius the answer, "Oh, he didn't feel good again. Hospital Wing."
I figured, he thought to himself as the trio went back to their dorm to rest for a bit before dinner.
* * *
Monday, 29th May 1972.
Hogwarts
Sirius woke up from another nightmare in the middle of the night. After the events that happened on Christmas, they became even more frequent. None of them were as extreme as the one when he woke James up back in September, but they were still awful enough to make him pant and sweat.
After the Christmas break, James had a private conversation with him. The boy explained to Sirius that he asked Mrs. Potter to show him some ways to ease the start of a panic attack. He said that she was a retired healer and that she knew what she was doing.
Sirius felt flattered that James would go out of his way to actually learn these techniques and teach them to Sirius. There was a bit of uncertainty when it came to Mrs. Potter knowing about his weaknesses, but then he remembered that she wasn't Walburga or Orion, that she wouldn't use them against him.
In the end, those techniques proved to be quite helpful. James still insisted that Sirius should wake him up whenever there was a nightmare, but Sirius decided against it. It was enough that the boy went out of his way to help him, waking him up every time would just be too much in Sirius' opinion.
Unfortunately, some nights were harder than others. On those hard ones, he would give in and wake James. They would talk until the remains of the nightmare were completely gone, but Sirius avoided those situations as much as possible.
Tonight though, the nightmare's consequences weren't that severe. All it took for Sirius to calm himself down was the counting technique James showed him.
He closed his eyes and started to slowly breathe in while counting from one to three. Then he breathed out while counting from four to six. As the breathing got more even, Sirius started to open his eyes. It was a simple, but quite an effective way to get a hold of himself. The counting kept him concentrated on the breathing and, at the same time, took his mind off of the nightmare.
The breathing got back to normal, allowing Sirius to finally relax. His throat was still dry, so he went to the bathroom to drink some water. As he walked back, he noticed Remus' unoccupied bed, the pure sight of emptiness brought sadness and curiosity into Sirius' thoughts.
He left the curtains open on the right side of the bed and got comfortable between his pillows, propping his head so that he could keep the eye contact with the empty bed.
Why did Remus always had to be sick? In Sirius' mind someone as nice and perfect as Remus didn't deserve to spent a night almost every month at the Hospital Wing. The world really wasn't fair.
His theory about some chronic illness made another appearance. Maybe there really was some condition the tall boy was dealing with. In reality, how many people really get the flu that often?
Sirius turned to his bedside table, there was a frame photo of the two of them. He grabbed it, propped himself on the headboard and just looked at it. Two boys sharing an armchair with big, bright smiles.
Then the images of the night of his birthday came crawling back. Scars. This whole time Sirius tried to push those thoughts away because he didn't want to pry on Remus' business. It didn't feel right for him to try and discover the reason behind the scars when Remus didn't show them to him so that he could talk about them. The boy only wanted to make Sirius not feel lonely.
He shook his head and returned the framed photo back on the bedside table. If he wanted me to know, he would have told me. Sirius tried to distract himself from thinking about the reasonings and situations in which those silvery marks could have been acquired, but the pure whish wasn't enough. His brain was like an entity of its own, already trying to think of something else that didn't seem right.
Sirius got up from the bed again and stumbled towards the window. The plan was to try and distract himself with thoughts about Regulus, but when he tried to look for Leo constellation, something else caught his eye.
It was like he was hit with flashbacks of every conversation and every situation he had with Remus all at once.
The lake was dark, reflecting the stars and soon to be full moon. Sirius noticed that Remus' gaze was fixated on his lap while all of the other first years were looking at the surroundings and the beautiful night sky.
"Khm-khm.", as Sirius lifted his gaze, there was a witch from the Sorting Ceremony standing directly next to them...
"Mr. Lupin, I'd like to have a chat with you in my office after you finish breakfast." ...
"What's that about, mate?"
"No idea.", Sirius saw as Remus shrugged and returned his gaze to the porridge...
"Hey there, that was short. What did she want?", Sirius was the first to question as he saw the tall boy enter the common room.
Remus sat between him and Peter, "Oh... something about... my owl. Yeah, she went missing yesterday, but they found her."
"Are you feeling okay, Remus?"
Not even bothering to lift his head, the boy just sighed, "Yeah, just tired, I guess."
Sirius cracked one eye open, hands still behind his head and looked at the tall boy. Even now after he had eaten breakfast and lunch, Remus was still looking sick and on the verge of his legs giving up...
"I'll wait for you in the common room."
"No need, I'll be back tomorrow."
"How do you know they will keep you overnight?"
"I don't... I only suspect. I have been feeling sick all day." ...
With a quirked eyebrow, Sirius muttered, "Huh... I guess they did keep him overnight after all."
"You sure you're alright?", Sirius looked at him over the table.
"Can you lot please stop asking me that. I think it's just the flu again."
Remus stuck out his head full of messy sandy hair through the window, "Is this seat taken?", he gestured to the little space next to Sirius...
"For someone so perfect you know a lot about being different.", Sirius chuckled
"Well, maybe I am the odd one out too." ...
Scars. They covered his whole arm from what Sirius could see, starting a little bit above the palm and going all the way up the elbow and back into the sleeve of his jumper. Some silver some more muted white, some deeper than the others.
The whole passage was filled with armors on both sides. On the right, in between each armor was an arched window, showering the passage in bluish moonlight...
"Are you okay Remus?"
"Yeah... just... claustrophobic."
"Werewolves: Dark Creatures and How to Use Them—", but Sirius' attention snapped away from the book spines and to the two boys who bumped into each other. He furrowed his eyebrows at the sight of a frozen Remus.
Full of shock and feeling like his head was about to explode, Sirius stumbled backwards, away from the silver light of the full moon. It was the second time that day that he fell on the floor, butt first. His eyes were so wide that he was sure his eyeballs were about to pop out. No way. The realization he just experienced was way too much for him to stay calm.
This commotion seemed to wake James up. Of course, Peter slept like a log so the sound of Sirius falling wasn't quite enough to wake the boy.
"Sirius, what are you doing?", James crouched next to him, but as soon as he saw the horror and shock on Sirius' face, another question was asked, "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost and that's not so uncommon here."
Sirius didn't even have the brainpower to fake a laugh, "Yeah... Sorry mate, just...", the sweat was starting to form on his forehead and palms, "I remembered that I forgot something in DADA classroom.", he quickly got to his feet, leaving James next to the empty floor he was occupying seconds earlier.
He then turned towards James' bed and reached underneath it, grabbing the invisibility cloak, "I'll just borrow the cloak and go get it.", Sirius tried to mask the panic in his voice, but James knew him too well.
Getting up to his feet, he tried to get closer to Sirius, "Okay? Want me to come with you?"
With each step the boy took, Sirius took one towards the door, gripping onto the cloak, "No, don't be silly.", the fakest laugh he had ever heard escaped his lips, "Go back to sleep, I'll be back before you know it."
Not even giving James the chance to protest, Sirius opened the door and quickly slipped out. He could hear the muffled yell from the dorm, "But the DADA professor spell-proofed the classroom—", but in that moment, Sirius couldn't care less about James' confusion.
There is no way, he threw the cloak over himself, I'm just insane, the Fat Lady portrait opened and let him pass, This is all my imagination, the Hall of Hexes was just around the corner, The afflictio curse must have damaged some part of my brain, he tapped his wand on the specific book in the specific painting, You know that you can be dramatic and overexaggerate things, he pushed the book from the back of the bookcase forward, There is just no reality where this is true, he hurried towards the W bookcase, You must be remembering things wrong, his eyes scanned the titles until he found the one he was looking for, You'll see now how wrong you are.
But Sirius wasn't wrong.
He quickly sat down, his back against the bookcase and hurriedly opened the table of contents. In the book Werewolves: Dark Creatures and How to Use Them the very first chapter described different ways on how to identify a werewolf. With each sentence, Sirius' hands trembled a bit more.
They disappear every full moon, Okay, maybe Remus has some other illness that also starts with the full moon, they get very easily irritated and aggressive before the transformations, I mean, everybody has mood swings, it's not that uncommon, usually there is a higher appetite, Remus is a boy in development, when is he supposed to have high appetite if not now, some werewolves are scared of moonlight on daily basis due to the trauma, James said that everybody is scared of something, who am I to judge what scares Remus, their bodies are mostly covered in silver self-inflicted magical scars, Okay, okay... maybe Remus... just... has a cat... a magical cat...
But Remus never mentioned owning any animal except an owl. Little drops of sweat roamed Sirius' temples. The more he read, the more one thing became clear.
Remus Lupin was a werewolf.