& Jimin is gone.
He quickly took the elevator and went down to the parking lot.
Thank god he still has his keys.
He opened the door and sat in the driver seat.
No he can't break.
He can't. He absolutely can't.
He gripped the steering wheels with all might & started the engine. His eyes remains glued on the watch on his wrist, the time is ticking.
Two minutes.
He promises his heart.
Two minutes, he will wait for Yoongi.
He will wait for him to come down to try to talk to him. Two minutes for him to figure out what he exactly did. Two minutes to make everything okay.
He put his head rest over his hands on the steering wheels. A muffled sob come through his lips. He feels too broken.
Monster!
He is called a monster,
By someone who he....
Does it matter anymore???
Cause that person has gone to the extent to spy on him! Collect proofs to prove him guilty.
It hurts bad. It hurts so bad.
Does Min Yoongi really need to do this???
Does the trust between them is long broken? But what was the exact moment it got broken???
Once he swore, he would not let himself hurt like this. Once he promised that he will not trust anyone like this.
He feels broken, so broken.
It's so funny to think now that he thought he would tell Yoongi about the things.
But now that everything has unraveled he knows, he couldn't understand him. Maybe he would say why he even kill that 19 year old boy in the first place.
Who knows he will sympathize with him!
He chuckles dryly. He doesn't know when two minutes become fifteen. He waited for fifteen minutes. A part of his heart wished for Yoongi to come down to chase him.
So he waited.
But Yoongi didn't come. If the previous conversation was a stab to his heart, this one has twisted the knife deeper.
"Ohh you are so fucking idiot in love, Jimin." He speaks to himself as he notices it's been fifteen minutes. He wipes some drops of tear splattered over his cheeks, maybe some dirt got into his eyes.
Or maybe not.
He doesn't waste a second anymore. He drove his car with high speed, his knuckles turned white holding the steering wheel all the time.
No he didn't break. He absolutely didn't break.
He reached his apartment, thankfully.
He punched the passcode. But it's wrong.
Fuck Jeon Jungkook.
How dare he!?????
He calls him & in return Jungkook opens the door, clueless.
"Jimin?????"
Jimin doesn't even spare him a glance and storms inside the apartment.
"Hey!!! You here??? At this time????" Jungkook asks as Jimin walks into the living.
"Why???? Don't t forget this is my fucking apartment. I can come here anytime." He barks at Jungkook, pissed off.
"Woah woah woah. Calm down, Old man. Yeah you can come here anytime. But what happened?? You two fought????" Jungkook asks now trying to be a bit softer.
"Jungkook...." Jimin warns.
"Okay okay... Anyways I am leaving. I would be at..."
"Yeah leave. Get out. I don't want to see anyone's face now."
Jungkook rolls his eyes and walked towards the door.
"Stay safe." And with that he was gone.
He walked towards the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water, chugging it thinking it will make the pain less. But his body is trembling, his hands are shaking. He hunches over the counter taking deep breaths, trying his hard to not to fall apart.
But it's too much.
He collapses on the floor. Before he could even figure out he could feel tears streaming down his cheeks. He wipes it off but they doesn't stop. As if a dam broke and tears falling incessantly.
He still tries to wipe it off again and again. A pain now covers him, making his mind dizzy, he can't think straight. It feels so bad to be back in this state again.
Why this hurts so bad???
Is it the first time someone betrayed him??
No!!!!
Is it the first time someone close to him betrayed him??
No!!!!!
Is it the first time someone he loved betrayed him???
No!!!!
Then why????? Why this hurts so bad??? Why this hurts like hell.
He had so many nightmares, so many bad dreams,
But never in those dreams he thought Yoongi would call him a monster.
A fucking monster.
That Yoongi would think the same like others. That he is just like Lee Yang Cheol.
Yoongi hates Lee Yang Cheol. So soon he will be hating Jimin.
Jimin would have thought about it at first place.
They couldn't be in love. They could never be in love.
But this hurts. This fucking hurts.
Yoongi could have asked him straight if he doubts Jimin had killed them.
But he went on his back.
He spied on him, just like your enemy.
That hurts.
All his fears from the past years crawls back, every bad memory, every bad feeling. Silhouettes are again covering him, trying to choke him to death.
It feels like someone has injected poison in him and wherever it flows his veins ache.
He is a poison plant, whatever he touches become cursed, whatever he holds onto become cursed, it slips through his fingers, breaks into pieces.
For a moment Jimin feels he can't breathe anymore, something is choking him to death as if he is running out of Oxygen.
His heart feels like someone has pierced it with a broken peace of glass, his whole body hurts. His mind is in haze, only thing that he remembers is pain.
Fear, he feels fear, fear of loosing everything again.
Their heaven, their beautiful heaven has been broken down abruptly. To keep the heaven safe he hid all his darknesses away. He made sure not even drop of his dark blood will touch their warm yellow heaven.
But in the end, it's the person he loved slashed his heart, making it all bloody over the place.
It's him.
Muffled sobs recks his body again and again. He feels like he is broken into a a lot of pieces.
No he was already broken and today Min Yoongi decided to cut the thread that held him together in place.
Yoongi stood frozen in his place in their heaven, not even registering what just happened???
Isn't it a day ago they were having dinner together??
Isn't it just a day ago when Jimin held his hands in his own while havin dinner and spoke so subtly as ever.
'I love you.'
Did he even mean that??
Yoongi looks at his own hands, still feeling the warmth of Jimin's hand in between his fingers.
It was the best feeling for him.
But now he was gone. Just gone, not even a single explanation, not even a single apology.
Does their love meant nothing to him???
Yoongi didn't mean to stab in his back. Yoongi did not mean to hurt his siren, not at all.
But it hurts crazy when you get to know the person you have loved has killed twelve people without mercy, that he killed people who worked for him.
It hurts like hell to know that Jimin himself was spying on him. But exactly why????
For a moment Yoongi thought what if Jimin is trying to do something behind his back.
Fuck!!! Did he just thought Jimin would betray him???
Actually yes.
It's like stabbing his ownself but yes.
The moment he got to know he killed Kim Seong Cheol, his mind became a mess. Probabilities after probabilities ran in his mind. He was sure that he killed him the moment he saw him in their mansion, hands fidgeting to put down the flowers, him absent mindedly strolling over the mansion.
It was easy for him to connect the dots.
He shivered at Jimin's cruelty.
He didn't even considered how Seokjin and Taehyung would react if they got to know about it!
Taehyung, his best friend??? He did not even cared that it will purely destroy him to know his best friend killed his father. This one thing can destroy all their friendship and bond.
Does Jimin really care about nothing????
Does he really just care about his own revenge???
What about Yoongi??? What about his emotions?? What about the people he care about????
Does he really care about him????
And he never thought it was important to let Yoongi know that he is proceeding with his revenge. He thought it was over.
The fucking revenge was over.
Jimin chuckles as he now sitting over the floor in the living.
Revenge?? Yoongi thinks he is still chasing his revenge??? That what he understood about Jimin after two Fucking years????
How much of an idiot he himself was.
Fuck you, Jimin. Fuck you.
How foolish it was for him to stop being an assassin, just for the sake of someone. Just for the sake, that someone hates blood.
If he wanted revenge, he would have killed Kim Seong Cheol long ago, long.... Even before he killed Hye Ahn.
And Yoongi thinks it's his revenge?
And how much selfish it is for Yoongi!!!!
He supported his revenge until it served his own cause, his own anger. And the moment it deflected, the moment it was just Jimin's reasons he stepped back, judging him, saying he is a monster.
Fucking hypocrite.
Jimin is a fucking hypocrite.
Stabbing him in the back?? Where he just stabbed me in the back!!!
Yoongi thought to himself as he sinks into their living room couch.
Their???
Is it theirs???
Is this heaven theirs anymore????
All of these????
Jimin pulls himself through the living and towards his bedroom, once his.
He doesn't know in which condition it is now. But the room felt pretty decent as if Jungkook maintained his room just like before.
His room is missing his things, things he shifted to Yoongi's apartment.
Why he even did that in first place.
You have stabbed yourself Park Jimin.
He just lays on the bed, somehow his eyes are hurting and his head is throbbing in pain. He lazily puts his hand over his forehead.
He is burning.
He just chuckles dryly, his body is not willing to go and find the medical box.
He doesn't want to call Jungkook.
Just fuck everything.
He feels his eyes are getting heavy with each minute and he felt better to close them.
He doesn't know if he passed out or he slept. It's been two hours when he woke up. And he was still burning.
He felt the utter need to shower. It helps always.
(A/N : okay so before saying why someone will shower in fever, in many cases if your temperature is too high, showers are recommended specially just putting water over your head. It lowers the temperature instantly.)
He quickly gave himself a warm shower. He is glad that some of his old clothes are still there in his wadrobe in okay condition. Changing into them, he somehow pulls out the medical box from the kitchen cabinet. It is still in the same place.
Somethings never changed in this house.
He took some medicine and drifted to sleep again.
It felt weird, so weird. But his body was too tired to do anything more. Other days he struggled to sleep. But today all the moments he was awake he was in pain, he felt broken and then when he laid down he drifted to sleep.
Next morning his sleep broke with sound of rustling and he was nearly on alert, trying to find something to attack. But then the voice spoke,
"Jimin, it's okay! It's me."
He just hummed pulling his covers again.
"You eat last night??" The voice asks.
Jimin just tried to pull the covers up his head.
A hand comes to snatch them down.
Before he could protest, a hand rests on his forehead.
It's cold, it's soothing, he leans onto them.
But they are softer than the one he was expecting them to be
"Hyung!! You are fucking burning."
Jimin just hummed.
His throat has a lump now and that hurts.
He coughs a bit.
"Ohh my god." The voice spoke again.
"What you even did???"
Jimin doesn't respond and tries to sleep again.
"Did you eat last night????" The voice asked concerned.
He just shakes his head again.
"& You took the medicine????"
Jimin nods.
"For god's sake. You should have atleast called me."
"My throat hurts." Jimin speaks this time with his hoarse voice. It really hurts to speak now.
"Oh no... It's worse. I will make something to eat. You need to take your antibiotics. Till then rest.
Okay???"
Jimin nods and trying to sleep again.
By the time his fever increased. He doesn't remember well but he was given some soothing soup and meds and then he slept again.
The whole day, he would wake up for some hours.
Pain would again reck his body and he would feel tears pooling in his eyes.
Every word Yoongi spoke ringed through his ears. He repeated the conversation again and again in his mind.
A part of him is trying to rationalize, another one wants to count how many times Yoongi has hurt him.
Sometimes in sleep those conversations echoed in his mind.
Sometimes little nightmares will make him breatheless. He clutched his heart tightly when it felt too much, tried to breathe normally.
When Jungkook came to visit him in the morning, he asked him to go to Taehyung, to be with him.
But he said it's okay. Taehyung would be busy today with his brother in the office. He will go to meet him in the evening.
Jimin is kinda relieved to have another person in the house. Cause he knows a part of him is restless. Being with another in the same house keeps him under check, otherwise he doesn't know what he will do.
Maybe he will just cry. Maybe he will shower excessively in cold water to numb his pain. He doesn't know.
In his feverish mind, he is partly loosing control over his mind.
But he feels that's okay.
All he tries to do is sleep.
Yoongi remained seated in couch the whole night. He is just frozen.
Time passed on it's own accord. The mornings came, Yoongi checked his phone. He hoped if someone has sent him any notification.
Any apology.
Any words.
But there's nothing.
There is Nothing.
Not a single thing.
'You are standing in a pool of blood and those hands of yours are dripping in blood.'
He repeated the words in his mind.
Jimin, Jimin spoke the words. They felt like venom to Yoongi. Does he hate Yoongi that much????
Yoongi felt numb, so numb.
Jimin felt a bit okay aroun the afternoon. He pulled himself out of the room only to find Jungkook making some lunch.
He managed to sit in the living room couch.
"Feeling better???" Jungkook asks as he chops some vegetables.
"Yeah a bit." Jimin spoke nearly in a whisper but the room is enough silent for Jungkook to hear.
"That's a relief."
He takes a deep breath and walks upto the kitchen, sits opposite to kitchen counter head hanging low as he fidgets with his fingers.
"If you want to you can rest a bit more. It will take a bit more time to make lunch."
Jungkook says softly.
"I am fine." He manages to say.
"Okay....
By the way are you hungry????"
Jimin shakes his heard in return.
Somehow Jungkook smiles in return as if he found something adorable.
Jimin looks at him in confusion.
"Ohh!!! It reminds me of old time."
"Old time???"
"Yeah... I don't know if you remember things this way but you know when you were young and had cold like this. You would become so clingy...."
Jimin glares at him making him laugh more.
"Exactly. Exactly like this you would look at me when mom would give me some attention."
Jimin rolls his eyes at first then slowly those memories comes back to him.
"And I remember though Noona would tease you a lot that you look like a sulky baby chick but will also make you your favourite snacks."
Jimin smiles softly this time.
Yes he remembers all those things.
"I miss them." He speaks this time looking away from Jungkook.
"I miss them too, hyung. And that's why I am making your favourite food today and you need to finish everything. Okay????"
Jimin giggles a bit. Jungkook still didn't change.
It's nice to feel this way.
So he feels it's the right time to say things to him.
"Jungkook....."
"Hmm...."
"There is something you should know..." Jimin sighs deeply now keeping both his arms over the counter top as he sits on the stool.
"Okay!!! Tell me..." Jungkook shruggs.
"I killed someone...." Jimin takes a deep breath, trying to stabilize himself. He gasps a bit still remembering the words Yoongi told him.
"And!!!!!????" Jungkook asks still concentrated over the cooking as he chops the spring onions and keep it aside.
As if he is listening the most normal thing in the world
Jimin narrows his eyes, looking at him. He speaks the rest,
"Jungkook!!!!
I killed Kim Seong Cheol." This time he speaks firmly putting emphasis on the name.
Jungkook tastes the gravy on the stove, nodding with an angry expression. He takes some out on a spoon shoving it in Jimin's direction to have a taste as he speaks,
"Is the salt okay??? I am making this after a long time."
Jimin tastes it and nods in response. The boy seems happy with it.
"Jungkook??? Do you even heard what I just said???" Jimin asks a bit anger comics to the surface.
Is Jungkook avoiding him now???
"I heard. I heard you said you killed Kim Seong Cheol."
"And?????"
"What and??? See I am not surprised or shocked. Yes a bit I guess cause you didn't tell me before. And I kinda sensed it yesterday."
"Aren't you going to call me Monster too?? A fucking monster?? Cause I kill people??"
Jungkook looks at him sharply trying to read between the lines, eyes narrowing to read over his expressions.
"And why would I even????"
"And you should not??? Cause I am drenched in blood?? And it's easy to hate people like me!??? I guess.
I killed my best friend's father for my own revenge." He chuckles a bit darkly.
"Jimin, how many years I am with you???"
Jimin looks at him a bit confused.
"Umm fifteen or sixteen I guess."
"Yes.... Do I ever hated you??? Ever???"
"Jungkook???"
"No listen to me idiot!!!" He walks round the counter and sits on the stool next to Jimin facing him while he speaks,
"You can be anything Jimin, anything. But I know who you are. I know what you do. I know why you do. I always trust you, I trust you more than I trust my own soul okay??? There are so many times for which I am more than grateful to you, even as a family, Jimin."
"But I killed....."
"Taehyung's father??? Really Jimin?? You don't need to explain to me."
He takes Jimin's hand in his own, his hands are way too cold to Jungkook's own. He rubs them together to make them warm a bit
"You love Taehyung more than I love him. Okay?? I know you will never do anything that will hurt him and if you even do that then there is a reason behind that. I trust it. Even if no one does I do.
And in this case I know Taehyung knew. I already told you yesterday sensing that.
That he is way to calm for what happened as if he was expecting it to happen."
Jimin takes a deep breath a bit shakily. A bit of warmth spreads inside him after yesterday cold.
"I didn't even know when you grew up so much...." He ruffles Jungkook's hair.
"Okay good. Now you have a mission.
Finish your lunch. And you are making me dinner once you get over your illness. Okay??? I missed your cooking!!!!???"
"Okay I will."
(And heartbreaks will go on for sometime now.
Enjoy)