-Wes-
God, I'm so fucking nervous. I have been the whole day. During all my classes, I couldn't focus, nor could I get my knee to stop bouncing. I'm not even sure why. Last night was pretty great. I took everything like a champ, so I don't know why I'm still anxious. I've never been this nervous for sex, not even for my first time. It's definitely got to be because I'm the one that's receiving now.
He of course calls as soon as I make it to my car after the last bell rings. I know exactly what he's going to ask. He's asked me it multiple times over text throughout the day... If I was still sure I wanted to do it or not.
I answer, and before he can even get a word in, I say, "Yes. I still want to." I may be a nervous wreck, but it's not going to make me back out. I mean, he's already had a part of him inside me, so what difference does it really make if he uses his dick instead? Plus, I know he wants it just as bad. Probably even worse. He's the one that's been getting less out of our sexual encounters. And he's so incredible. He deserves more from me.
"Are you sure?"
I let a sigh out. "Yes. I'm on the way home now, and I'll be on the way after packing a bag and showering. So, it'll be around an hour." Not to mention having to reclean down there... I'm a little annoyed that I have to do it again so soon. Still wished we could've just done it yesterday, but at least now I won't have to worry about getting home after. I wonder if we're just going to get right into it, or if we're going to hang out some first. Honestly, the sooner the better. I won't stop being nervous until it's over with.
"Okay. Well, be safe and let me know when you're on the way."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
It doesn't take me long at all to get home. I decide to go ahead and pack a bag before taking a shower, and as I'm throwing some clothes in a duffel bag, my phone rings again. I sigh when I see his name.
"What? I just got home," I tell him after bringing the phone to my ear.
"Are you one hundred percent positive that you want this?"
"Ryland."
"Yeah?"
"Quit asking."
"Sorry. I'm just wanting to make sure again... You really want to do this? You can change your mind. I won't be mad or anything."
"I'm sure. You're the one that sounds like they don't want to do it."
"I do. I'm just... I guess I'm a little nervous."
"Why? You're the one that has a bunch of experience. What's one more?"
"You're not just another body to my list, Wes. This is different. And it's just been a while."
"Since what? You last had sex?"
"Well, uh..."
My curiosity instantly piques. "When was the last time you did it?"
"Wes..."
"C'mon, tell me. How long has it been? Before jail? Or after?"
"Does it really matter?"
"It does. I want to know."
"Okay, yeah, I've done it since I've been out of jail. It was a couple of weeks before I met you. But I wasn't talking about sex in general. I just meant it's been a while since I've done it with someone I'm falling in love with."
"What?" My heart instantly starts pounding. Did I hear him right? He's in love with me? What the hell? Why the sudden confession? I'm not even sure how I feel about it. My stomach feels fuzzy compared to uneasy, so I don't think I hate the idea. Plus, why would I dislike it? I mean, that's the point of dating, to fall in love. But isn't it too soon? Well, we've been fast with everything else, so maybe not.
"Wait. Wait, wait, wait. I didn't... Shit. Listen, Wes." I swallow hard and stay quiet to let him continue. I wonder if he's going to take it back now.
Suddenly, Mom knocks on my door, slightly startling me. In a low voice, I say, "I got to go. My mom's knocking."
"Oh. Alright. Call me back?"
"I will."
Once I hang up, I yell 'come in' loud enough for her to hear and continue to shove some clothes in my bag. She opens the door and furrows her brows when she sees what I'm doing. "Oh. I forgot about your plans." I asked her last night about spending the weekend with him. I tried to make it sound as natural as possible, like I wasn't trying to stay with the person I'm dating but just a friend. I got a simple 'Sure, honey', which I was expecting, but it was still nerve-wracking asking. Especially doing it right after getting back from Ryland's, considering the things I just did with him. "Your dad is coming home this weekend."
"Oh. Okay. Can I still stay with Ryland tonight?" I still want to. Though, now it's definitely going to be awkward. Especially since I just rushed off the phone with him after he practically confessed to me. Damn it.
"Not tonight. Your dad wants to talk to us about something, so you need to stay home today."
"What about tomorrow?"
"Uh... we'll see. He's only home for the weekend, so you might just have to wait, honey. I'm sorry." My stomach sinks. Damn. Now I'm all bummed out. "Go ahead and be getting washed up. He might want to go out to eat."
I mean, I was about to do that anyway, but now I don't even care to. I don't feel like going to eat. Or talking. I wanted to go have sex with my boyfriend. This is bullshit. I mean, I'm glad Dad's back, but he could've waited a few more days. It doesn't even feel like a month has passed. I wonder what's so important that I have to stay home.
Feeling depressed now, I drag myself to the bathroom. And only when I'm twenty minutes into my shower do I realize I forgot to call Ryland back. Shit.
I quickly dry off and get dressed before grabbing my phone that was left on my bed. Surprisingly, there's no texts from him. I go to his contact to call him back, but another knock interrupts me.
"Yeah?"
My door opens, and Dad pops his head in. "Wesley, hey. I'm home."
"I'm glad you're back, Dad," I say, though it's a little hard to sound enthusiastic about it.
He pushes the door open more and steps in. "So, I wanted to ask you something. But if you have something else you'd rather do, that's fine too."
"What is it?" Honestly, it doesn't matter. There is something else I'd rather do.
"Well, to start, I already reserved it, but you can still say no. But I'm not going to be able to be home for your birthday." Oh. That kind of sucks. "So, I was thinking we do the camping trip this weekend while I'm home." Damn it. I guess my plans with Ryland really are going to have to wait.
"Yeah. That sounds good. We can go. Uh, when are we leaving?"
"Great. I was thinking we could leave early in the morning and come back Sunday night. You can even stay home Monday, so you don't have to worry about school when we get back. Unless you have something important that day."
"I don't, but I do have... another concern."
"What's that?"
"It's kind of cold outside."
"Yeah, I've thought about that. I was going to go to the store tonight to get us some portable space heaters and some more comforters. Plus, I checked the weather for tomorrow night around the campground, and it's not supposed to get too cold. I think we'll be able to stay warm just fine."
"Okay. Sounds good to me then."
A smile forms on his face, and I can tell he's glad I agreed. I mean, I already did last month; the plans just moved up the calendar some.
"You want to come with me to ask your mom? I didn't yet because I wasn't sure of your answer."
"Uh, sure."
I step out into the hall with him and trail behind him to the kitchen where Mom is. Dad comes up behind her and wraps his arm around her waist.
"What's up with you two? Why are you staring at me?" she asks, looking back and forth between us.
"I have to work on Wesley's birthday, so I decided to take him camping this weekend. You'll still be able to come, right? I already reserved it for three."
Mom face falls some. "I can't. I'm scheduled for a double tomorrow. Plus, I have to let them know in advance to take a vacation day." Her eyes flicker over to mine. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I'll plan us something else special for your birthday."
I nod, feeling bummed out again. And now the awkwardness of having to go camping with my dad all alone starts to settle in.
"You said for three, right?" Mom suddenly asks, looking at Dad.
"Yes."
Her eyes drift to mine again. "Why don't you see if Ryland wants to go? You were wanting to hang out with him this weekend anyway. Maybe he'd want to take my spot."
"Oh, no. Ryland wouldn't-"
"That'll be fine with me," Dad cuts in. "Invite him if you want to, Wesley." I don't want to! At all. Okay, that's a lie, but that sounds even more awkward than it just being my dad. Especially with the way our phone call ended. Fuck! I still haven't called him back!
"Okay. I'll go see and start packing."
"Okay," Dad responds. "I'll go get everything we'll need. If Ryland wants to come, ask him if he needs a sleeping bag and let me know."
"Uh, he will," I go ahead and tell him. I mean, I assume he doesn't if he's never been camping.
I excuse myself to go call him. Once in my room, I grab my phone to see only one text from him. Just my name with a question mark. God, I probably have him worried sick.
He answers before the second ring can even end. "Hello?"
"Hey." Thinking about how our conversation left off makes my face heat up.
"Hey. So, uh, were you still coming over today?" He's just going to act like earlier didn't happen? That's bullshit.
"I can't come over this weekend."
"Oh," he says again, sounding let down. "Look, I'm sorry for what I said. It-"
"My dad is home," I quickly add, not giving him any time to take it back. I don't want him to take it back. I honestly want to hear him say it again.
"Oh. Were you still going to tell them?"
I furrow my brows in confusion "Tell them what?"
"About us." Oh. Shit. I forgot all about that. Well, that's just going to have to wait now. After we get back... Yeah, I'll attempt it then.
"I can't... Not yet anyway. He wants to do the camping trip this weekend. And he said I could turn it down, but I actually do want to spend some time with him before I tell him, so I did accept his offer. Not that I didn't want to hang out with you anymore. I just-"
"Wes, it's okay. We can just hang out next weekend."
"Well, actually, there was something I wanted to ask you. My mom can't go since it's so sudden and she can't get off work, and my dad already reserved a campground spot for three... And my mom mentioned to him about how we were going to hang out, so he wanted me to ask if you wanted to go. And I also... wouldn't mind if you came with. Basically what I'm asking is... would you want to go camping with us?"
"Yes."
"Really? I thought you'd say no. You did hear me, right? We're going camping."
"I heard you."
"And it's the middle of February."
"I know."
"You hate the cold. And you don't camp."
"I know," he repeats. "But still. I want to go with you." He'd really go despite those things? All for me? My heart starts thumping faster, and my stomach feels fluttery.
"Wes," he says, regaining my attention.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry. I know what I said was probably a little off-putting, but it's true. I didn't mean to say it, but it's still true. You know how serious I take relationships. I'm not going to sugarcoat it or take back what I said, but I also don't expect you to feel the same way yet. So you don't have to say anything about it. I really didn't mean to let it slip right then. I don't want you to feel awkward or pressured by it or anything." I go over everything he said in my head again, and when I take too long to respond again, he says, "Wes?"
I clear my throat before replying. "So... You... love me?"
"I'm starting to." The fluttering in my stomach worsens, and I'm starting to feel hot.
"I, um- I-"
"You don't have to say anything. I'm going to start packing. Text me the details, okay?"
"Uh, okay." The line goes quiet after that, signaling he hung up.
I instantly bury myself under the covers and bite down on my lip to avoid any noises leaving me, but it doesn't stop my smile from spreading. He's starting to love me... I push my face into my pillow, and the tiniest squeal of excitement slips out of me. He's really falling for me. That's honestly a good thing. Because I'm starting to feel the same way.
A/N- This chapter was typed so out of order, but I finally pieced it all together! I hope you liked it! Though, not much happens. Besides a confession!!!!! An accidental one, but still a confession!
Who knew it would be Ryland confessing first? (It was obviously gonna be him lmao)
Camping trip has moved up a month early... Mainly because I thought the two of them having to spend time together after Ryland's confession without being able to talk about it in person due to his dad being around would be fun to write! Plus, having to push back their sex plans to go act completely heterosexual in front of his dad. Their pent up feelings are just going to get more pent up. Who knows... they might release them when they get back, considering Wes doesn't have school Monday. I guess you'll have to wait and see!
Don't forget to vote and comment!!
Also, if you're into kpop, go listen to Crazy Form by Ateez!!