Authors note: This book didn't get much attention, mostly because it's just another one of the big jokes I write, but I never finished this chapter and now i wanna just post it to see if someone reads it. i don't really wanna delete this.
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Tweek busted through the nurses office door, breaking it in the process because he is in fact extremely incompetent.
"Hey! I've got you your water—" Tweek paused mid sentence; mid walk. Because he was staring at that stupid bitch nurse who was practically molesting his alpha boyfriend.
"You feel a bit warm." The extremely mutated nurse said. "I'm going to take your temperature, okay?" She stood up and walked over to the counter and grabbed a thermometer.
"Tch," Craig spat, because for some reason bad boys make that obnoxious fucking noise a lot, the reason is they are jaded. "Yeah, whatever.. I guess."
This bitch ass nurse is stealing my alpha manipulator male boyfriend!! Ugh! How could she?!?! I'll show her...
Tweek took some cautious steps up to Craig's hospital bed, sitting the water bottle on the desk next to him and shyly tucking some golden hair behind his ear. "Um.. Are your balls okay..?"
Craig rolled his eyes nonchalantly, and Tweek couldn't help but notice that he had heterochromia. For some reason Craig Tucker has multicolored eyes in literally every fanfiction ever, especially in every fanfic written by one specific writer on ao3 that will not be mentioned, though tweek is sure he's dumbed down to be a no good twink in every single one of them.
"Well, I actually have the power of regeneration because i'm a vampire and a sigma alpha male. So i'm like totally unfazed and this doesn't faze me.. Because I am jaded." Craig answered, jadedly.
Tweek's big doe ocean orbs glimmered with profound interest at how strong Craig is. "Wow.. You're so sexy!"
The nurse returned with the thermometer and politely asked Craig to open his mouth so she could gently place the thermometer under his tongue. After that she kindly said it would take about a minute then she exited their room to grab something.
That BITCH! I can't believe it! She could've hurt my man the way she shoved that thing down his throat!
Audibly growling by how overly protective and jealous he was, Tweek glanced at his superior, alpha, super senior, boyfriend with his pleading ocean eyes. He then stepped over to sit at the edge of the hospital bed, guiltily ignoring Craig's mangled ballsack and broken limbs.
"I hope you'll be okay, I mean, you did just send Trent Boyett to some different universe or whatever." Tweek commented adorably with his tiny petite useless fucking voice.
Craig looked unfazed, because he's a bad boy. "tch," He spat jadedly. "Yeah.. I kind of found that stick in my backyard one day and it conveniently held the power for me to control the universe.. Or whatever."
Tweek's ears wiggled cutely, being very intrigier as he asked. "Since you own the stick that controls the universe, don't you think you can cure your disfigured balls and also just spawn tons of money to become rich?"
Craig sat there for a moment, contemplating Tweek's suggestion before responding flatly. "Nah."
"What?! Why?" Tweek whined insufferably.
"Because, spawning money would cause inflation, and also I secretly like the attention of being severely ill and mutated." Craig admitted, his bad boy heterosexual eyes glimmering.
"It wouldn't cause inflation if you were just one person though?" Tweek added, quirking one of his petite brows.
"Yes it would, because i'd keep buying a ton of shit then just spawn more money. This is for your sake silly little omega. Heh.." Craig replies, darkly chuckling like he knows something tweek doesn't, usually he does because tweek isn't good for anything else but to cry and rely on other people.
Tweek farts, then squeaks when it feels kinda warm but he doesn't wanna comment on it, he definitely hopes that the big strong bulging alpha muscle testosterone filled man in the room did not hear that.
"Did you just fucking shit your pants?" The big strong bulging alpha muscle testosterone filled man in the room said.
"Uh!! N-no!! Erm... Awkward alert!" Tweek giggles, then points up his index finger to emphasize the awkwardness of his autistic ass shitting all over Craig's hospital bed. "So what would you buy?"
"Fleshlights... Just a bunch of fleshlights, over and over again till they become very expensive and then nobody can afford them anymore. Then i'll create a fleshlight selling business and sell them for 3 bucks at a middle school." Craig replied, his muscles flexing as he speaks because he's so jacked and probably a pedophile. Tweek chooses to ignore the red flags though.
And then the nurse comes in and heals craig's ballsack and then craig and tweek marry each other and the end thank u subscribe and like