In the caves of Blood Gulch, the purple medic was laying on the ground unconscious.
Vic: Paging Dr. Dude to the radio, stat! I need twenty CCs of what the hells going on there, dude.
Though soon enough Doc had finally pulled through and had woken up.
Doc: Ugh, what happened?
Vic: Hey, you tell me, dude. One second we're talking about a hole in the wall, and the next thing I know you turn into Grumps McGurt. Sounded like you needed a lozenge. Threatened to eat my children. Not very cool dude.
Doc: Jeez, did I really? I'm sorry. Something went wrong with my radio and I heard this weird beeping, honking-
Vic: Hey, no offense taken, dude. Don't got any kids anyways.
Doc: What?
Vic: Old Vic's been through the ship and stitch. If you know what I mean.
Doc: I don't wanna hear about that.
Vic: Winky-Blinky the one eyed Sergeant's firing blanks.
Doc: That's weird.
Vic: If you get me.
Doc: Look-
Vic: Vaya Con Dios of Vas Deferens
Doc: Yeah alright, I, enough, I get you.
Vic: I mean a vasectomy, dude.
Doc tried to talk, but Vic kept interrupting him at him till this point.
Doc: Look, I found something really weird here at Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.
Vic: Roger that, what did you find?
Doc: It's. .. It's like a. .. It's like a thing.
Vic: It's like a thing... Okay dude. Thank you for the update. I'll be sure to alert the chief of staff.
Doc: Sorry I'm-
Vic: Move to Defcon 1.
Doc: I'm just a little dazed. It's a big thing. It's purple, it's uh, it's a big purple thing.
Vic: Use your words dude!
Doc: I don't know. It looks like some kinda alien artefact. Do the aliens have, like, a home base or something here?
Vic: I don't know dude. Why don't I just consult my Extra Terrestrial Travel Guide for ya. Oh, look! Got a great series of alien bed and breakfasts there. Lucky you.
Doc: Never mind, I'll just figure it out myself.
Vic: Nothin' about big purple things, though. Maybe it's some kind of alien vehicle.
The medic turned off his radio in total annoyance.
Doc: Man, that guy is such a jerk. The next time, he talks to me like that, I'm gonna tell him to go straight to H-E-double hockey sticks. Oh I really shouldn't talk like that, that's not very nice.
Suddenly, the rogue A.I. took control of the Doc instantly.
O'Malley: If I ever meet him, I'm taking his eyes as souvenirs!
Doc: Woah, that was unlike me. I must be stressed out, time for yoga!
Unbeknownst to him, he was doing yoga right next to a vehicle known as the Covenant Ghost.
Meanwhile with the Blues, Ghost Church, Freya and Tucker were stood outside their base debriefing on everything that just happened. It was quite a story as they told Church.
Ghost Church: How's Sheila doing?
Tucker: I'm not gonna lie, it's not looking pretty. She may have twisted her differential, possibly some structural damage. Could be a disk.
Ghost Church: You have absolutely no idea why you're talking about, do you?
Tucker: Yeeeeah, no. Not a clue.
Freya: Yeeeeah me I know nothing either.
Ghost Church: What about Tex? Any sign of her?
Tucker: No, no Tex. Is it unusual for her to disappear like that?
Ghost Church: When we were dating, she would sneak off all the time. But it was usually to sleep with other guys or to spend money she'd taken out of my wallet. And since I don't have any money, and... well. No offense to you Tucker, but....
Tucker: You're a dick.
Freya: Ew, you both deserved each other.
As that was happening, at Red Base Grif was moaning as if he had just woken up. Though it was recently just from surgery.
Sarge: Grif, don't try to move too much. You've been through quite the ordeal.
Steve: Rest easy man,
Grif: Oh, man. Where am I?
Donut: Hush now. Shhhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shh. It was really touch-and-go there for a while, good buddy. But I did it.
Donut then inhaled before continuing.
Donut: I pulled you through.
Grif: How long was I out?
Steve: Quite a couple of hours.
Sarge: And Nurse Donut here stayed by your side the whole time, stroking your hand and keepin' you company.
Grif: *groans* My right hand?
Donut: Your left.
Grif: *sighs* Note to self, Cut off left hand.
Steve: No need to do that Grif. That hand was gone a long time ago when I reattached the new one.
Grif: Wait, what are you talking about?
Sarge: Technically speaking, it's not really your left hand.
Grif: Say what?
Sarge: Steve and I had to replace certain body parts that were severely damaged when the tank ran you over. And a few that atrophied from a lifetime diet of Hoo Hoos and bacon flavored marshmallows.
Grif: Wait, which body parts?
Sarge: We'll, let's see. We had to start with the shoulder, then we moved on down to the flank...
Grif: Huh?
Donut: Yeah, we couldn't really find an anatomy book...
Sarge: Made a left turn at the spare rib...
Steve: So Sarge decided to use one of those pictures with the cow, and the dotted lines all over it.......yeah.
Sarge: Then up and over the porterhouse...
Steve: Your still alive so at least it worked...somehow made more sense than performing CPR on a shot to the head.
Sarge: And of course the brisket...
Grif: Wait-
Sarge: And the hocks. Oh, the hocks.
Grif: Wait, where did you get the replacement parts?
Sarge: Why, from our other subject, of course.
Then at that moment, Simmons had come in walking into the room. All the Red's looked at Grif just stared in confusion and horror.
Simmons: Subject my cyborg ass.
Grif: No way.
Simmons: Yeah, I'm real happy about this myself, numbnuts.
Steve: You alright man?
Simmons: Yeah I'm fine *mumbles* for now.
Grif: Did I get your lips?
Sarge: Prairie Oysters... the gristle...
Grif: 'Cause maybe then I'll finally figure out how to kiss Sarge's ass.
Sarge: And the ass.
Grif: What the hell.
Sarge: Naucy bits.
Grif: What didn't I get?
Sarge: We pretty much replaced all the internal organs, and some of the more disgusting external ones. Except for Simmons' spleen, which will be inflated and used for general recreation, and espirits de corps.
Grif: This doesn't seem physically possible.
Sarge: Nonsense. Modern technology makes anything possible. It was as easy as shake n' bake!
Donut: And Steve and I helped!
Sarge: Actually, Donut, I don't really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as prepubescent monkey actually qualms as help. But it sure was entertaining!
Steve: Me and Sarge where the only ones that went through sweat and blood to save Grif.
Donut: I didn't want to get my hands dirty tho! *Sounding like a Prepubescent Monkey*
Mhmhmhmhm... Meh.
Steve: Now Grif, What do we say to Simmons, who donated most of his body parts to you?
Grif: *Whispers* Thank you,
Steve: Say again sorry, I didn't catch that?
Grif: *Sighs* Thank you Simmons.
Simmons: Apology accepted, fatass.
Steve: Simmons you do realise Grif has your ass now, right?
Simmons:....Fuck!
Some time later Steve had left the room to his quarters to clean his helmet and armoured hands from Grif's blood. Though as he was cleaning his hands, a beeping noise emerged inside his helmet. He then answered and then Allison had appeared from inside the helmet
Steve: Hi Allison.
Allison: Hey Steve....You seem mad.
Steve: I am.
Allison: What did Tucker do?
Steve: He nearly crushed me with the tank with the new girl.
Allison: Oh, I didn't see that coming, you've been busy alright.
Then Tex came out and appeared to hover over the sink. Seeing Grif's blood being poured down the drain.
Steve: Allison, can you tell me what's going on? I hate being left in the dark like this.
Allison: Not yet! I'm still figuring out what's going on.
Steve: Tell me so I can help then Allison.
Allison: Sorry Steve, but I really don't want to get you involved in all this.
Steve then took off his helmet and he looked right at her Ai face.
Steve: Allison, I can handle myself. I know you told me about O'Malley, you need my help in this.
Allison: I'm serious Steve. But I can't let O'Malley get to you! If he does, then you'd become unstoppable.
Steve: I'd take that risk, I want to help. You know I can fight!
Allison: Look, if he somehow gets in your head...it would be like dying all over again.
Steve: Wait what?
Allison: Oh crap, I'll keep in touch but I can't let you get harmed.
Then she started to flicker, she was leaving soon enough.
Steve: Aunty Allison, please let me help. ...
Allison: I'm sorry, but I can't. Not until I understand what's happening....
The A.I. vanished into thin air, leaving the grey corporal alone in the quarters. Steve just gave out a despairful sigh, he hated that he was being ghosted again and that Allison didn't want him in the danger, despite knowing he was very capable.
Steve: Be safe Aunty.....