T H E O
To say that work has been utter shite lately would be an understatement. In typical fashion, my manager, Rob, is being a fucking wanker again. He asks me to come in and cover extra shifts but always ends up keeping me well past the bloody time that I'm scheduled to get off. It's like he's completely oblivious to the fact that I'm a full-time uni student.
Either that or he simply just doesn't care.
Because the last thing I need right now is to be spending my time serving a bunch of old, drunk idiots all day. Yet, here I am...serving old, drunk idiots all day.
I should be sitting my arse down in front of a piano and practicing for this senior performance critique coming up at the end of the year because my mental health or wallet can't afford for me to have to repeat this final year of my studies for a BA in music. Unfortunately, my water bill isn't going to pay itself either so I've got to prioritize my needs carefully.
My hands work quickly as I finish restocking the empty bottles of liquor and whiskey lined against the wall in front of me.
"Rob!" I call out as I finish topping off the final bottle of scotch and yank off the apron clung to my waist. "I'm going out for a fag."
"You're still on the clock mate, and you've already taken two smoke breaks this shift."
Rob has a point, maybe I should take it easy on the cancer sticks but also fuck him and his points because my nerves are shot and what I need right now is a good buzz.
"I'm going out for a fag," I repeat, pushing through the bar's backdoor.
The fresh, London air brushes against my skin, and I breathe it in, feeling some of the day's tension release from my shoulders. I lean my back against the brick behind me, relieving myself of half my body weight while I yank out a cigarette from my back pocket. I watch the colors of my lighter's flame shift as it begins to burn the end of the fag.
My thoughts begin to drift to memories of when I first applied to Gullie's, and I can't help but laugh at myself when I think about how naive I was in thinking that it would be a promising job for a university student.
Boy, was I wrong.
The only positive attribute that this tiny, greasy fish-and-chips-serving pub offers me is easy access to a wide range of alcohol and a reasonable living wage. Rob's the beloved owner that I've had the golden privilege of working for, and by privilege, I really mean disadvantage, because this man is the least professional business owner I've ever come across. Christ, he's a drunk himself, with a round belly that makes him look as though he's carrying a baby to term even though I know the only thing this bloke has in his stomach is booze, bangers, and mash.
Conveniently enough, the bar is only a stone's throw away from Evie and Harvey's place, which grants me an easy escape from many workplace situations and is actually how I came to meet both of them in the first place. Unfortunately, it's also the way I came to meet her had I not stopped by there after my shift the other night.
What a fine introduction I had with Miss Nora.
Or Eleanor, I suppose. I personally think Nora has a much better ring to it. Even better, I found it quite amusing to see the way her face scrunched up when I used it. Judging from the few short moments I had with her, I can tell she's just as much of a smart arse-albeit a tamer one-as I am. At first, I found myself hating that but now I'm starting to think that I may just like the challenge it brings.
I don't necessarily enjoy arguing but I can't lie and say I don't find it a little bit fun with her. Despite how much she ends up pissing me off by the end of our conversations. God, that's infuriating- she's infuriating.
And strong-headed. And forward. And invigorating.
Bloody hell, I don't know what it is, but something about her is so annoyingly invigorating. Which is exactly why I can't give her the time of day,
On top of all of her provoking attributes, Nora's also just about the clumsiest girl I've ever laid my eyes on. This city really might just eat her alive. I can't stop thinking back to a few weeks ago when she nearly fell on the train. The way I had to catch her and the way she felt pressed against me. Also, the way her blue eyes, damp brown hair, and flushed cheeks became the only thing I wanted to watch the rest of the night if I would have allowed myself to.
Shite. No, she's annoying. We're sticking with that. Yeah, that's what she is-annoying and unbearable.
Unbearable for the way she makes your cock twitch every time she's around.
"Theo, get your arse back in here!" Rob shouts, and for once I'm grateful for the abrupt distraction his loud mouth brings. "We have drinks to fill and stomachs to serve."
"Yeah, yeah," I groan, taking one last hit against my cigarette before stubbing it out against the brick wall, throwing away its squished butt, and reluctantly making my way inside. The chatter of the pub fills my ears as I tie my apron back on and make my way to the bar.
"Theeeeeo," a regular customer greets me with a toothy grin as soon as she sets her sight on me.
"What will it be, April?"
She leans her body forward against the bar surface as I ask the question, purposefully positioning herself to where her tits are practically spilling out of her shirt. "Two pints of larger and a shot of you, honey," she slurs.
"How much did you drink before coming here?" I ask, keeping the tone of my voice gentle because part of me actually feels sympathy for the middle-aged woman despite how damn tired I am of her same old bullshite after a year and a half of serving her.
"Does it matter?" she smirks, batting her eyelashes at me.
"It matters," I roll my eyes. I fill up a glass of water and slide it her way. I could keep serving her drinks until she's completely shite-faced and having to crawl her way out of this bar but I've got at least some morals left in me. "Drink some damn water, April. Or else you're gonna feel like utter shite when you're trying to remember this tomorrow."
"Fine," she huffs, snatching up the alcohol-free drink and managing to spill it all over herself.
"Oh, bloody hell," I sigh. I toss a washcloth her way and hope to God the rest of my shift doesn't drag.
✰✰✰
The moon and stars are out by the time I finally push my way out of Gullie's for the night. The sounds of a never-sleeping city and the humming of taxi cabs fill my ears as I make my way down the street, each step I take leading me closer and closer to Harvey and Evie's place.
And now, Nora's place.
I attempt to keep my eyes pinned on the pavement at my feet as I pass the familiar flat because I know the sight of it would only conjure up more thoughts of the newcomer I'm assuming is probably inside. Unfortunately, I find myself lacking self-discipline as I glance up at one of the lit-up, second-story windows.
I hate the way I want to know what might be happening inside.
And suddenly I'm reminded of how much I sometimes miss living in B02 with my friends as I recall some of my core memories from the place. We really had some good times together there. But I'm convinced that I made the right decision when I chose to move out because living with them made the guilt that constantly lies dormant in the pit of my stomach that much worse.
The guilt that my problems are just as heavy of a burden on them as they are on me.
I had to leave.
Over time, I've grown more comfortable with the solitude of my new flat despite how much I miss the late-night laughter with my mates. My place is about as small as a fucking mouse hole but it comes with its advantages, like the fact that it's only a five-minute walk from the school and there's enough space in it to hold a small piano.
It also carries the main essentials like electricity and water, even if the plumbing goes to shite sometimes and hot water is limited to a 15-minute shower session. Even with those minor setbacks, the price couldn't be beaten when compared to the rent of other places in the area. And most importantly, it keeps me a comfortable distance from the people I just can't fucking bring myself to see. Remoteness from said people makes things easier for my situation.
I'm still lost in the maze of my thoughts as I weave through the crowds of the tube station. I quickly find my way onto a train headed for home, leading myself toward one of the empty back carriages. A monotonous chiming sounds through the train as the doors begin to close and I settle down into my seat. Their steel barriers shut with a loud click and I watch the remainder of people on the platform outside dissolve into a blur as we begin to speed down the track.
As always, I find my eyes doing a once-over of my surroundings, quietly and carefully observing my environment and the people around me. The act in itself is a compulsion I have everywhere I go.
Because trauma seems to have a way of haunting you no matter how many times you've tried to rid yourself of its ghosts.
Morsel by morsel, I let my rising fear and anxiety dissolve, replacing old memories with newer ones as my eyes settle on the yellow handrail in front of me.
I can't help but snort. That clumsy girl.
She would have busted her arse had I not caught hold of her. And just like that, Nora is invading my mind once again. Even a damn pole is enough to conjure the idea of her up in my head.
For a second, I swear I'm starting to hallucinate because as the train makes the next stop and the doors hiss open, the devil herself waltzes right in. My eyes stay pinned on her, watching as she hurries to a seat in front of the window two carriages down. It isn't until her red, puffy, and glazed eyes fall on me that I find the will in me to finally look away.
I shouldn't glance back-I know I shouldn't- but I do. Her back is to me when I look back, her head hung low enough that I can't even see her face anymore. Before I can even process what I'm doing, I'm making my way over in her direction and I don't seem to comprehend how fucking stupid this is of me until I'm sitting in a seat directly across from her.
"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise," I say before giving myself time to reflect on how stupid the words would sound tumbling from my mouth.
"Not today," her voice clips back as she glances at me side-long. A quick tear rushes down her cheek but she wipes it away quickly. My stomach coils.
"You alright?" I prod gently, resting my elbows against my knees as I lean her way.
"I'm fine," her voice wavers, and I hate how heavy the sound of that makes my chest grow.
"What's wr-"
"I said that I was fine, Theo."
"Yeah, you said that but I'm just not believing it," I shrug.
"You're a bastard, you know that?"
"Ouch," I chuckle, accepting the blow in hopes that it can somehow make her feel a little bit better. "You know, before you got here, Evie and Harvey told me about their sweet, new roommate coming all the way from Atlanta. But I must say, for a Georgia girl, you sure do lack that southern hospitality they were speaking so highly of."
"You can shove my southern hospitality right up your as-"
"Message fucking received," I cut her off defensively, not sure how much more my ego can take from her witty mouth. "I'll let you go cry in peace."
Nora's head darts up as the dig leaves my mouth and I instantly regret what I've said because her eyes begin to pool with tears. "You are such a dick!" she bites out, yanking her bookbag up with her as she storms off to the very back of the train.
Dammit, dammit, dammit. You fucked up, Theo. Fix it.
"Shite, Nora. Wait," I call after her, following her to the last carriage of the train. I feel grateful that there are no other people back here to witness what a bloody idiot I'm making myself out to be. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you upset."
"Save it." She crosses her arms against her chest defiantly and forces her gaze out the window again, but I can tell she's still crying. "I've heard enough bullshit apologies for the night."
What has her so upset tonight?
Because after hearing that comment, I sure as hell know now that it didn't all start with me. Before I know it, the wheels of the train are squealing to a stop again and I don't have a chance to speak another word before the doors open and Nora tries bolting out onto the platform.
I lightly catch hold of her arm before she's able to get further away. "Nora, where the hell are you going? You know your flat is in the other direction, right?"
"I don't care," she says, yanking her arm out of my hold. "I'm tired of tonight, I need an escape, and I just want off this stupid freaking train!"
"Nora, stop," I say, tugging against her arm again. "You don't even know where the hell you are. I'm not letting you get off at this station by yourself."
"I want off the train, Theo," she argues, and I know she's gonna do as she bloody pleases so I step off onto the platform with her.
"Fine, we'll get off the train then."
"I don't want you coming with me."
"Yeah, well that's too damn bad because you're mental if you think I'm gonna let you storm off in some foreign city you don't know shite about."
"I'm sorry, are you stuck in the 20th century or something? I can handle myself just fine, thank you."
"Assume whatever you want, but I'm not letting you walk by yourself."
"I didn't know you were suddenly the boss of me and what I do?"
"Would you quit being so damn obstinate?"
"No," she replies matter of factly, "I won't."
"You are so frustrating, you know that?" I huff out, feeling my ears grow hot with vexation.
"Yeah, well, so are you! Now, leave me the hell alone," she orders, slipping from my grip and starting to storm away once again tonight.
"You want an escape?" Nora stops dead in her tracks as the words slip from my mouth. I'm surprised as she turns back to me and just stares, waiting to hear what I have to say next. "Come with me."
"Come with you?" She scoffs, "I don't think so."
"Just come on," I roll my eyes, getting fed up with arguing back and forth with her. "You have no clue where you're going in the first place. You want an escape? I can give you one." Her shoulders perk up at my offer, so I continue my attempt to convince her. "You can think of it as an opportunity to get your mind off of whatever it is making you so upset tonight."
She doesn't say anything back for a few moments, so I find myself urging her again, "Just come."
Silence lingers for a few short breaths before she finally sighs, "Fine."
"Good," I say, crossing my arms against my chest as I bite back the smile threatening my lips. "Now get your arse back on that train because there's no way in hell we're gonna be walking the whole way there."
"Not until you ask me nicely."
"Nora, for the sake of my sanity tonight-"
"Mmm-mmm." She shakes her head in disapproval. "I said nicely."
"Nora," I start over, clearing my throat. "Can you please get back on the damn train?"
"Now, was that so hard?" she taunts. She's grinning at the sight of my aggravation and making the tension that was in my chest moments ago suddenly not feel so tight anymore.
"Oh, bite my arse." I wave her off, unable to hide the smirk on my face as she steps back onto the train because deep down I admit that I'm so fucking relieved Nora is accepting my company tonight.