The car ride home was as silent as grave. Peat picked up Ben who waited outside of the building. Peat smiled at Ben when their eyes met again that day. Ben only brought along a small bag with him as he slung it across his broad back. Ben looked exhausted too, just as he was even when he cheered up as Peat's car approaching.
Ben sat down on the passenger seat and adjusted the seat to accommodate his long legs. It's been quite a while since someone occupied the seat as Peat preferred to go home alone in the past year. Usually he came to the location with P Aon but apparently they had creative differences now so Peat was more comfortable being alone.
"This way,"
There was awkwardness between them. Peat wondered if Director Anne scolded Ben the way he did to him. Director Anne had this air of authority that even P Aon didn't possess. It might be because Anne wanted this drama to work when she saw how precarious their chemistry was.
Peat turned the wheel towards whatever Ben told him to. It was the first time he's going to Ben's place. As far as they're together, Peat had never known where Ben resided or who his closest person was. Ben was always alone at the site, and Peat figured he didn't know much about Ben.
"Do you want to come in?" Peat stopped at the parking lot of a luxurious condominium.
"You live here?" Ben nodded and grabbed the sling bag. Peat had seen the condominium quite a few times and wondered what type of people who could afford living in those. It was a serviced condominium that was rumoured to only being rented by expatriates or the riches – which was not what someone like a budding actor could afford.
Peat was intrigued even when he was terrified of Ben.
"You can come," Ben invited him over as he climbed out of his car. "Just to thank you for driving me home,"
The next thing he knew was he locked his car door and followed Ben to his home.
It was as what Peat imagined a luxurious condo was and much more. Peat had to stay close to Ben when they entered the elevator just because it would detect strangers or unauthorized visitor with facial recognition in it. Peat had to catch up with Ben's wide stride and felt quite breathless when they arrived at Ben's place.
Peat took off his shoes when he walked past the threshold. Ben put down his bag on the sofa. The condo was huge and filled in with only basic furniture – but everything in it screamed expensive. It seemed simple and minimalist.
"Do you want to drink anything?"
"It's okay,"
"Phi Anne asked you to drive me home, right?"
"Yes," Peat didn't think Ben wanted to talk about Anne now.
"She noticed that we're not doing a good job," Ben said nonchalantly as he prepared some cordial drink for Peat. Peat sat down on the nearest sofa facing the floor to ceiling window. His head felt dizzy just by staring at it.
"I think we did," Peat smiled when Ben put down a glass of cold pink drink.
"Did I disappoint you, Phi?"
"I don't think so," Peat sipped a bit of the pink drink. It tasted like his school years when he usually bought this drink at the illegal vendors outside of the school's gate. "It's sweet and delicious,"
"Thank you," Ben said down in front of Peat.
"You're from rich family?" Peat asked before he could stop himself. He tapped himself on the face, to just be cautious with words later on with Ben. Ben sat down before him and leaned on the couch. He smiled and nodded.
"I thought rich people wouldn't want to do a job involving kissing men,"
"Rich people would do anything they wanted to," Ben twirled his bang.
Is that why you keep hurting me?
Peat wanted to ask that but thought it was just more inappropriate than the other. He sipped his drink, admiring how tasty it was.
"Not many can make the drink as sweet and salty as you do," Peat lifted his brow. "You know even when the drink is our native, not many Thais can master how to make this drink not as sweet,"
Ben chuckled.
"Why don't you stop with the small talk, Phi?"
"What?"
"Ask me what you had in your mind,"
Peat put down his glass. Ben leaned forward with his chin rested on his palm, his eyes were watching him like a hawk.
Peat felt a sense of familiarity. A déjà vu. But he couldn't put a finger on where he saw it.
"What do you think I would ask you?"
"I don't know." Ben shrugged, and a smirk emerged. "You tell me,"
"Why do it sound like you're challenging me?" Ben shrugged again, looking nonchalant. Peat leaned on his side and sipped the drink again.
"Why do you think so?" Ben pushed the hair on his forehead again. Peat watched Ben for a while in silent before he sighed.
"Nothing." Peat finished his drink and stood up. "Might be I'm exhausted after a whole day of filming," Ben sat still in his chair. Peat felt quite weird and attributed it to a sudden change of position. "And I felt quite sleepy," he yawned. Peat wondered if he was too tired that suddenly he felt drowsy. "I need a good enough sleep,"
"Is it about Fort?" Ben asked calmly.
"Why suddenly Fort's in the picture?"
"Director Anne asked me to do what I need to do to get you comfortable with me,"
"We already did the workshop, it's working," Peat yawned again. He threw a glance at Ben and the window behind him. It was totally dark outside.
"You think?"
"Can I use the bathroom?" Peat asked before he yawned, this time it was more violent yawn that he felt like a lion roaring. His eyes started to water. He didn't wait for Ben's reply and urged himself to the bathroom, the one where Ben gestured him to. There was a small walkway to the bathroom, and there hung a picture. It was a picture of Ben standing with a middle-aged woman. He took a glance at it. His head hung heavy, even when he was standing solid his legs felt like jelly.
Ben was wearing a black cap and dark brown hoodie. Peat leaned closer just to get a better look at the picture and somehow the woman felt familiar. His eyes felt heavier.
I should go to the bathroom and wash my face to get rid of this sleepiness.
Why on earth was I this drowsy?
Is there something in what I drank?
Shit.
Peat's heart skipped a beat. He turned to the bathroom so suddenly that the drowsiness was precipitated by dizziness. He had to hold on the bathroom door to help him steady himself.
Peat's mouth mumbled profanities as he cursed himself because he was too naïve to trust Ben.
He heard Ben's approaching him, and he felt his limbs went too weak to support him by now. All in his head right now was what would happen to him when he knew now what's going on. He remembered where the familiarity was, he should have known, and he should have pulled out of this whole fiasco when he should earlier on.
He should have withdrawn too when he asked Fort to leave him.
This should not be what both of them deserve. He just wanted Fort to be safe, he wanted to be the one who's protecting Fort. He was Fort's safe place, and he didn't want to let him down.
He looked up and saw Ben glaring down at him.
"Ben..." there were multitudes of times that Ben looked down at him like this but this time they were alone in a confined place where Peat knew there was nowhere to run. Even if he run, he knew he could never run far. And he was stupid to think that Ben would not do anything to him because they were staring together in the most anticipated piece of the year that Director Anne produced. He was stupid to think that Ben was just another young star. He wasn't.
"Are you okay, Phi?" his voice of concern seemed fake. Everything was fake with him. How stupid he was to not suspect anything. How stupid he was to believe in P Aon; did P Aon know anything about this?
"Don't touch me," Peat gathered up what strength left that he had just to breathe steadily. His eyes were drooping. He was going to pass out. Damn, this drug's good!
Ben lifted his hands up as if he was facing the police.
"Why did you put the drug in my drink?" Ben shrugged casually. "What do you want from me?" the younger guy was staring malignantly. "I asked you before, right?" Peat smirked. "And you never answered. What do you want from me!?"
"Him."
"He's lost. He's not with me." Peat could hear the slur in his speech.
"Call him out. Phi, he listens to you,"
"No." Peat fell to the floor. He couldn't speak, and it felt like his nervous system was shutting down. His eyes shut, and in the distant he heard Ben cursed loudly.
Peat shook his head, he saw the stalker quite a few times before.
He was positive that he was the one who threw the egg towards him that night overseas. He wanted to lodge a police report but decided against it when he saw how angry Fort could be.
He saw the cap and associated the familiar pattern towards that stalker. He knew there was one male fan who was always there to their fan meeting wherever they go. He never had a glimpse of the fan because he had always had his hair clipped short and put on face mask and the cap. He was tall and had tanned skin, just like Fort.
He didn't tell Fort the exact incident where he was followed closely by the fan, because he knew Fort would riot. He knew Fort had quite a temper just as impulsive as his lovable gesture, so he knew how mad he would be if he knew the stalker did something to his loved ones.
'Why do you look worried?' Fort asked when they were in their room the next day of the egg incident.
'Nothing,'
'Somebody did anything to you?'
'No,' Peat chuckled, and felt like a teenage girl.
'Last night was worrying.' Fort grinded his teeth, and Peat saw the movement of his jaw. 'I don't want people to hurt you,'
Well, they did.
Peat smiled meekly as he grabbed Fort's hand. It was always okay when he did reassuring gesture towards Fort, but it seemed like Fort was more matured than to just settled with hand holding.
'I know about someone threw the egg on you,'
Peat kept quiet. There was nothing to comment on.
'It can't happen again,'
'No, it won't.' Peat sighed. 'I'm a grown man, Fort, I can take care of myself,'
'I'm worried,'
'Don't be.'
'I will.' Fort pulled Peat's fingers that were intertwined with his to his forehead. 'I promise your family that I will take care of you,'
'Fort, you're not taking care of me. I'm taking care of you,' Fort let out a small laugh.
'Should we lodge a police report?' Fort suggested. Peat shrugged.
'We don't know the attacker. And I'm fine now,'
'I don't want them to be near you again. We should get our own body guard by now,' Peat shook his head, laughing. 'I'm going to get us so rich together that nobody can touch us anymore,' Fort said as he looked into Peat's eyes. He touched Peat's cheek tenderly. 'Nobody can hurt you anymore,'
Bodyguards couldn't do anything. Peat knew that by now. Threats kept coming towards Fort, and he noticed Fort becoming more restless. They were working here and there, practicing through the day and photoshoots during the night and weekends. Fan meetings and mini concert with experienced dancers.
Money was coming in, offers were abundant for them to promote brands and fanservice. Their chemistry was effortless. There wasn't doubt that Fort was in love with Peat, they were very comfortable with each other that people watching gets shy.
Peat watched Fort accepted every offer even when he was drowning in his job too. He started working now as an engineer at a company, as a junior staff but important, nevertheless. Fort was dedicated to his jobs, and even had the time to entertain his pets and family. He wanted Fort to slow down but it seemed that even when he asked Fort to take it slow Fort would just laugh it off.
The threats coming in from Fort's phone was becoming more violent now as if the sender was getting even angrier with how busier the couple had been. Peat was busy also managing his family's business and need to travel often.
'We are going to be the best couple that Thailand needs,' Fort was always optimistic. They met that day at Fort's place because Fort promised Peat that he would cook his favourite meal and asked Peat to spend the night together.
Peat was exhausted after he almost missed the flight home to Bangkok from his grandmother's village. Peat told Fort that they might need to take sometime off just to pick themselves up.
'You can't be pushing yourself too much, nong juum,'
'I'm okay, Phi, I'm up to new challenges,' Fort was frying tempura prawn when Peat was slicing apple for their dessert.
'You're thinner than I remember,'
'I'm on a new diet regime.'
'You've lost your cheek fat,'
'Don't you like it that I looked more masculine now?' Peat made a retched voice. 'I miss you a lot, Phi,'
'Thanks,' Peat didn't say much. He wasn't going to entertain Fort by reciprocating. Fort knew how he felt even if he didn't say it out loud. 'You're always the more masculine one, nong,' He looked up from his peeling to watch Fort. He'd seen double, and felt blood drained from his face as sudden as he looked up. He caught himself holding the table to stop from falling.
'Are you okay, Phi?' Fort put down his spatula and rushed towards Peat. Peat brushed him off gently. 'You should sit down and just wait for me to serve the food for you,'
'I'm okay,'
'No, you looked pale. Have you eaten anything before you come here?' Fort urged Peat to sit down on the couch as he took some sweets from the fridge and quickly unwrapped it. 'Eat this, please,'
Peat took one of it and shoved it inside his mouth. Somehow he heard his mother's voice telling him to take good care of his health. His own family was already aware of Peat's habit of ignoring rest when he worked. Now it's busier than ever, that Peat and Fort had no indication of stopping. Peat sighed silently as Fort pulled both his legs so that he could rest his lower extremities on a small pedestal.
Fort's worry was evident, as he patted Peat's hair. Peat shook his head – he knew it was unnecessary for him to let Fort spoiled him this much. Fort was even more hardworking than he was, and he looked more energetic than ever that Peat was concerned if he couldn't keep up with the young man. Fort didn't seem fazed with the packed schedule he was on now and planned to get more projects. It was the main reason Peat was here. It would be impossible for Peat to ask Fort to slow down.
Peat let Fort cooked the rest of their dinner as he rested on the couch. He wondered if he's not getting enough rest like what his mother said, as he saw how industrious Fort was. Peat couldn't tell Fort that he's spending his time home in bed, keeping up with his sleep. It felt like he need more energy now than ever – if he wanted to keep up with Fort.
The dinner was delicious as usual. Fort brought the dinner onto a small tray just for Peat to eat on the couch.
Fort was really spoiling him rotten.
They ate their dinner with anecdotes from Fort's engineering job and Peat's managing job. In between there were talks about friends, non-mutual acquaintances, and gossips that they caught on. It felt natural for both as they shared their life for years now.
'There are also newcomers now,' Fort munched on grapes.
'There will be a lot of them,' Peat already done eating, he was just relaxing watching Fort. He missed him a lot when they're not together. It was not the time for him to bother about competition as he thought he's already at a stage where he's comfortable with what he's in with Fort now. Being with Fort was what's most important, making sure he's safe after the revelation was his current goal now. Fort had done a lot for them that the least he could do was managing his emotions and energy when they're together.
The threat, the red letters (as they called them) and certain fans' comments were what taking the most concern in Peat right now. Fort wouldn't discuss the matter with him because he thought he could handle it alone but Peat knew it wasn't the case. He's dealing with the issue alone as he told the 'sponsor' to leave Peat alone if he did what he wanted him to. Well, Peat was unable to tell him the truth.
The red letters were still there. Peat was still under close observation, Fort was still deceived and God knows how much pictures Fort had taken privately for him.
Peat didn't have the heart to ask if Fort would only give pictures or he did anything more.
It was a one-night stand. That was what Fort told him and he believed him, there wasn't any reason not to. He was in obvious distress when he received the red letters, but even then still refused to discuss openly about it with Peat. Peat tried to persuade Fort to had it reported to the police so that if anything happened there would be backups. But Fort didn't want to involve the authorities because he was afraid their reputation would be tainted. Peat wouldn't mind. He wanted them to be safe.
'Should we go to the award red carpet?' Fort sat beside Peat, hugging his knees and watching Peat closely. It was already quite late, and they were sitting silently after their dinner. Peat didn't decide yet about it as P Aon just recently bring out the subject.
It had been quite a while since they went to one as they were too busy promoting and being everywhere in the world other than their own home country.
Peat turned and their eyes locked.
'Do you want to?' Fort nodded, and pouted. Peat let out a small sigh but not loud enough that Fort could hear. He calculated the date of the award and postulated that he would need to fly back from his hometown to attend the award. It would mean more work and less rest but if Fort wanted to, he would.
He would go to the end of the world for Fort. But Fort didn't need to know that.
'It's been a while, and I wanted to see Boss and Noeul,' Fort was playing with the end of his pillow. Peat grinned, he guessed so.
'If you said so, okay,'