♡●♡●♡
They are sitting in the restaurant and Arthur can't wait for this night to be over.
His mother didn't say anything to him. Charlotte is keeping an eye on him while Lorenzo does the same as their mother.
He couldn't even make eye contact with Arthur. They talked when Arthur was in the car, explaining some more things about the car while Charles was talking to a man.
He felt better at that moment, but right now, it feels like he becomes back in reality. He feels angry at everyone suddenly again, and they don't even look at him. What did he do wrong? Walking away. He wanted to watch F2 and they knew.
He hears chatting around him. Charles finished p6, and even though he was disappointed, he's been happy since he got back from the media pen. Hugging his family while Arthur was standing further away, when he saw that a person was taking pictures of the scene.
He doesn't feel part of this family and now the truth was shoved in his nose. They didn't even look at him when he stepped away for those pictures. Charles didn't come to find him after hugging everyone, he walked away to clean himself up.
It hurt.
He wasn't part of that moment, and he hates himself for stepping away, but maybe even when he didn't step away, he wouldn't have been part of it or maybe he would, Arthur won't find out.
It's the moment he felt himself closing off again, not wanting to talk with people anymore. He sat down on a chair and pretended to be very busy on his phone as he continued to look at a black screen.
And now it's the same. He is sitting at the table at the far end, and he is quiet, Alex is sitting across from him with Charles next to her. Next to Charles sits their Maman and opposite her sits Lorenzo with Charlotte next to him, and then you have him.
He feels uncomfortable at the table. He hears the surrounding whispers, people who recognize Charles and all Arthur can think about is how he hopes no one will take a picture of them.
He doesn't even want to think about what people say when it comes out he is Charles his brother.
No matter how it goes, tomorrow will be a bad day at his school. Nathan and Lias are not going to leave him alone, and he doesn't even want to think about what they will say.
Friday was embarrassing and the way the two pissed themselves when Arthur had to take the picture with Charles and Carlos is printed on his sight.
Maybe it's better to call himself sick tomorrow, so they can all talk about what they want and maybe leave him alone after a few days when he comes back. Maybe.
He runs his fork through his pasta and then takes a bite. It's really good but he feels full already. His mind is telling him to eat everything fast, so he can go home, but he doesn't want to eat. He did already eat a lot in the Ferrari hospitality.
"We should take a picture!" Says Charles and Arthur is shaken out of his thoughts.
"Yes, Arthur, you don't want to be on pictures. Could you take him?" Asks Lorenzo and Arthur's face fell.
"Of course." Arthur puts his face on neutral, and he stand up to take Lorenzo his phone.
He sees everyone smiling and he takes a few pictures. He ignores the heavy feeling in his stomach and then gives the phone back to Lorenzo, who just took it and looks at the pictures.
They start talking again and Arthur starts digging his fork through his food again. The hunger is really gone now.
♡●♡●♡
"He wasn't looking good." Says Dennis and Ollie sighs.
"I wanted to talk with him, but he almost ran out of the paddock. There was no way of stopping him." Says Ollie
"Are you again talking about that Leclerc kid?'' Asks Juan who sits down. Clem laughs and bumps his shoulder with Dennis.
"You really are starting a crush on him." He says and Dennis looks at him annoyed.
"I don't!" He says and Juan laughs with Clem.
"Arthur got beaten last night and Dennis was telling us how he didn't look good." Explains Jak.
"What, no way?" Says Clem and Dennis nods.
"But there was something going on with him, and I have the feeling it's not only the beating. He was so closed off. Like the emotion was out of his eyes."
"Did something hurt him?"
"Or someone." Says Ollie.
"He's was weird about his family, right?" Ask Fred
"Yeah, I don't know. I hugged him, sometimes you see in a person that they need one, and I had the urge it give it to him when he was walking towards me."
"Cute." Says Juan and Dennis rolls his eyes
"He was bringing back my hoodie but when I wanted to talk to him, he wanted to leave, he was so weird. The previous times we just came to talk but he cut himself off from me. He kept telling me that I didn't know him, and after I leave tomorrow, then we wouldn't see each other, so it didn't matter for him. Maybe he doesn't want to get to know me like I want to know him." Says Dennis.
"Maybe, he has a point. We leave tomorrow." Says Ollie and Dennis looks at him.
"I had to ask his number again, so no way I will be able to contact him."
"I sent you his insta." Says Jak
"Yes, but he can ignore me on that. With his number I can keep texting him."
“That sounds stalkerish.” Says Clem.
"He can block you." Says Juan.
"Yes, but then I still have his number." Says Dennis.
"Dennis, why do you try so hard for this boy? You too Ollie. He was getting beaten you know. That usually doesn't happen without reason. Maybe it is better that you two stay away from him." Says Fred
"He has a point in that." Says Jak.
"He was really kind." Says Ollie and Fred rolls his eyes.
“Till you get to know a person, you don't know.” Says Fred and Ollie looks at the table.
"Something isn't right around him." Says Dennis.
"Maybe it is better than that you stay away." Says Clem.
"You didn't meet him, Clem. If you would, then you would know what we were talking about. There must be a reason why he's so closed off." Says Dennis.
"Or you try to look into things too much." Says Jak and Dennis sighs.
"I don't know." He says honestly.
"Maybe we should both try to add him on Instagram and see what will happen." Says Ollie.
Dennis bit his lip and looks at Oliver. The way he saw Arthur this morning was nothing like the last two days. Maybe it was the beating he was having and there is nothing wrong.
The wound looked painful, so it must be that. But it still doesn't feel good.
He doesn't understand why he keeps thinking about Arthur. Like Arthur told him, he didn't even know him, so why does he put so much effort into the boy.
Maybe Frederik is right and Arthur himself is the problem, but when he thinks of Arthur's face, he doesn't see it.
There is a lot of happening in his life, that is for sure.
"Mate, stop thinking!" Says Clem and pulls him closer.
"You know what we are going to do. We go to the club where we drink and find a nice lady you can get laid with, so you can think about something else." Says Clem and Dennis rolls his eyes.
"You know I don't hook up with random people." Says Dennis.
"A man then, that's fine too."
"I don't do that." Says Dennis.
"What if Arthur is right in front of you?'' Asks Juan and then Dennis starts to get annoyed.
"Stop joking about that. I don't fancy him, nor do I want to hook up with him. I want to get to know Arthur more, but as friends. I won't fall for Arthur, trust me. Just because I also like men doesn't mean I fall for every man in front of me." Says Dennis.
"You always joke about Charles!" Says Juan.
"Charles is not ugly, we all know that, but I won't fall for him or for Arthur. He's not my type." Says Dennis
"Okay, okay we will stop."
"I can make friends with guys without falling for them. I don't fell for you guys when I met you and neither I did for others. Just because I'm Bi doesn't mean I fall for everything that walks."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean the jokes like that, sorry it fell that way. I know you're not falling for everyone." Says Clem and Dennis nods.
"Okay." Says Dennis still feeling a bit annoyed at his friends.
He grabs his phone and starts Instagram. He clicks on the search bar and Arthur's profile appears, because he has looked him up before.
Arthur is smiling in the picture, and it made him smile a little. He haven't seen this smile of Arthur yet. He looks really happy there.
"Just ask to follow him, mate." Says Jak and Dennis look up.
"That's Arthur, wow." Says Clem and the grabs Dennis his phone to get a better look at the profile picture.
"Damn he does look like a Leclerc." Says Juan.
"He's hot." Says Clem and Dennis grabs his phone back.
"Okay enough looking." Says Dennis and Clem laughs.
"It is that I don't fall for guys, because otherwise." Clem lets out a wolf whistle.
"Don't be weird." Says Dennis
"Sorry mate, but it is the true." Says Clem.
"He's cute." Says Juan.
"Man he's hot. I will turn gay for him." Says Clem
"And you guys are being weird." Says Dennis and Jak laughs.
"Maybe you shouldn't try to be friends with him. Poor boy when he has to be around them." Says Jak. And Ollie laughs with him.
"We should warn him." Says Ollie and Dennis nods.
"If he will react to it. I don't have high expectations." Says Dennis.
♡●♡●♡
"We can play a game before you all go." Says Maman in the car.
Charlotte and Alexandra are with Charlotte her car and meet them at their house. Arthur is sitting in the back with Charles while Lorenzo drives and Maman is on the other seat.
"Yes! That's been a long time." Says Charles and Lorenzo nods.
"When will you guys leave?" Asks Maman.
"Tomorrow. We have to fly to Spain. It is Carlos his home race, so we have some extra media stuff to do." Explains Charles.
"So fast already." Says Maman and Charles nods.
"Almost summer break." Says Charles and Lorenzo laughs.
"You have a lot more races to go, brother." He laughs and Charles joins him.
"Okay, and what do we want to play?" Ask Lorenzo.
"We will see." Says Charles.
"Monopoly." Says Maman.
"Of course you want that one. We are there for many hours more to finish it." Says Lorenzo.
"Maybe that's my plan." Says Maman and she laughs.
Arthur sinks more into his seat and looks out the window.
They are almost home, which is not that difficult with Monaco, but it is very busy on the road.
"Are you staying tonight?"
"No, I will go to my own home with Alex. I want to clean my house a bit tomorrow before we go again." Says Charles.
"I will go to my own home too tonight." Says Lorenzo.
“When are you guys coming back?” Asks Maman.
"We want to try more to get home in between races. I want to plan less, so we can spend more time with you." Says Charles.
"I would love that." She says with a big smile on her face.
"I missed you a lot too, mama." Says Charles and Arthur looks at the ground.
He can't wait to go to his room.
"You two being more with me would feel a lot more like home again after Hervé."
Arthur felt his heart breaking again, how do they talk like he's not even there.
They arrive at the house and Arthur loosens his belt and gets out of the car, closing the door behind him.
He has the key in his pocket and walks to the door to open it.
He had taken it with him if the day really didn't work out when he could go home.
Charlotte and Alex also arrive, but Arthur doesn't pay much attention to them.
He takes off his shoes and walks to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. He picks up his phone charger on the table.
"Are you not joining us, Arthur?" Asks Lorenzo and Arthur stops walking.
"No, my head hurts, and I just want to lay down." Says Arthur, it's not a lie.
His head has been hurting him a lot now, and he wants to sleep.
"Take a painkiller and come sit with us." Says Maman and Arthur looks at her.
He can't place her impression.
Does she want him here or does he need to be? There is a difference.
"Sorry, I can't. Sleep well." Says Arthur, and then he walks pass everyone and walks upstairs.
"Arthur." Says Charles behind him, but Arthur kept walking towards his room, and he sits down on his bed.
With a sigh he puts his head in his hands and presses his palm against his forehead. It's only getting worse now.
How?
A pressing feeling comes into his head and he lays down.
"Hey." Arthur looks up when Charles walks inside.
"I have a painkiller for you." He says and gives him the glass of water.
“Have you had a headache all day?”
"A bit. It's gotten worse in the restaurant and in the car." Says Arthur and takes the pill.
"Thank you."
"No problem. You can join us when you feel better." Says Charles.
"I'm going to sleep." Says Arthur to let him know that it i not gonna happen and Charles nods.
It's not like they want him there.
Maman is only showing them that she do 'care' about him.
"Alright, sleep well then." Says Charles and Arthur look away.
"Thank you, enjoy the games." Says Arthur.
"Thank you." Says Charles but he keeps standing, looking at his little brother.
Arthur sits down on the side of his bed and looks at Charles.
"Anything else?" He asked and Charles shook his head.
"Can I see you again tomorrow?" Asks Charles.
"I have school, and you have a flight to catch. I'm not sure." Says Arthur and Charles nods.
"Alright, from how late?"
"9 am till 4 pm. Long day." Says Arthur and Charles nods again.
"Be careful with your head."
"I will." Says Arthur and he finds it weird how Charles keeps standing there. He doesn't know what he wants.
"I will see you next week. I will come back after Spain."
"Okay."
First see then believe.
"What happened with Maman this morning? You have been so closed since." Asks Charles and Arthur looks away to the window.
He doesn't want to talk about it. Not with Maman, not with Charles.
“Tutur?” Arthur looks up at the name and he hates it.
The name doesn't fit anymore, he was that when he was younger. It was their name for when he was a child and then they left.
"Talk to me?" Asks Charles and Arthur look away again.
He can't.
"I care about you, you know that right?" Says Charles and Arthur let out a snort. It feels like something is pulling on his heart.
It hurts. Charles has no idea what those words mean for him.
Tears are forming in his eyes and he bit his lip. His hands are starting to shake, and he grabs the skin of his wrist again.
After these few days all Arthur felt was his heart hurting, and he didn't even know it could.
There is this pain in his chest, and it doesn't go away but gets worse. The sinking feeling in his stomach is not helping.
He feels like shit.
"I love you, you're my little brother." Says Charles.
And the sharp pain he felt in his chest is something he can't describe.
All they are is hurting him with lies.
"Goodnight Charles." Says Arthur and he can't look his brother in the eye.
He doesn't want to see the impression from Charles.
It feels like he gets a punch in his stomach and he can't get up from the pain.
It's hard and he can't breathe.
The door closes, and then he looks up, seeing his room empty and a tear rolls down on his cheek.
He can't handle this anymore. He can't.
He grabs his phone and all he thinks about is that he wants to go away.
Grab the next train and see where he will end up.
He wants to be far away from here.
When he unlocked his phone and look at all the notifications, his heart stopped.
@dennis_hauger Wants to follow you.
~~~
I'm having a love and hate relationship with this story. I like this idea and want to make it a good story. But at first the words came easily and right now I'm struggling so much. I can't get the words out, the ideas and the feelings. It is in my head, but I can't get it written out, and I'm so frustrated about that. I feel like the story stays in the same loop and I want to make it a bit different, but I can't. I feel like very chapter is the same boring one.
I hope the words will come again soon because I'm stressing about making the chapters. My reserves are getting empty now. 2 to go and I have nothing. I look at the same page for weeks now. Every now and then I write something, and then I'm not happy with it, or it doesn't come out.
I want to make this story a good one. I want to tell you more about Dennis and about Arthur. With how Dennis is life is doing, the struggle of being a driver while knowing you're Bi but you have to say you're straight. How his struggle will be with how much he loves a man but has to hide him. How Arthur will grow as a person and will get to know how beautiful it is to be loved. I think that Arthur and Ollie's friendship could be a really beautiful thing too for Arthur, but I don't have any ideas and it is so frustrating.