I was feeling fine when I went to bed, and fell asleep pretty quick, but several hours later, I woke up feeling uncomfortable. My entire body ached a little, and I was way too hot under the covers, even though I didn't even have extra blankets over my duvet. I pushed the covers away, but after a short moment, I got cold. I let out a sigh and pulled the duvet back on my upper body, leaving my feet out. It was better like that. For a moment.
My omega was awake as well, too restless to sleep. I felt its presence like a fever. If it had controlled our body, we'd be turning and tossing around. It had never been quite this active during our heat. I assumed it knew something was wrong with our body, that there was something that didn't belong inside us.
The Lace...
I forced it out of my head and rolled onto my side instead. My eyes landed on Reid, and I stopped to focus on his steady breathing. He slept peacefully, and listening to him calmed down both me and my omega. The feverish feeling faded a little as my omega studied the alpha's scent in the room. We felt better. Our body was getting worse, but we still felt better.
After a long moment of me trying to fall asleep again, I gave up and decided to go use the toilet and take a painkiller. I got out of the bed, enjoying the cool air on my heated skin. For about two steps before I was freezing again. I grabbed my hoodie. I mean... Reid's hoodie. It was really comfy... Especially now since my skin was so sensitive. And because it still had Reid's scent on it, and my omega found it comforting.
Reid didn't mind, anyway. He was getting a new one soon.
I visited the toilet and grabbed a glass of cold water before heading to my desk to find my painkillers. Walking around seemed to ease up my aching joints, so once I'd medicated myself, I quietly left the room to stretch my legs a little.
I made sure I didn't wake up Reid when I closed the door, then turned around to face the dark hallway. I hesitated for a moment. The scent... It was strong now. I could smell all of them, and my omega shivered.
I tried to ignore it and made my way slowly down the hallway, staying quiet. My omega listened carefully to the sounds of ten sleeping alphas behind the closed doors as I passed them by. But the scent was growing stronger... It quickly became distracting, and I stopped in the middle of the hallway, trying to clear my head.
My omega... It was getting restless again. It was getting confused. Going into heat had never meant anything good to us. Especially when we were still at home... Back where we were taught that alphas were bad. That alphas meant pain and fear. Back when they broke us, and my omega retreated into the darkness.
I shivered in disgust when the memories returned uninvited. Why couldn't I just forget it...? All of it. I wished so hard someone could just rip those memories out of my head. Those years with them... With those people... Many of them I'd considered my family...
I'd learned to keep those memories deep in the back of my head, but at that moment, with my heat worse than ever before, with what I let happen to me the last time, it was hard to keep them away.
And for a brief second, Stoll was winning.
"You think you'll be fighting terrorists in my unit? No. You'll be used as a fucking toy. One-hundred and twenty alphas. You'll be so fucking busy..."
Ten of them were right here.
Ten alphas right behind these doors I was surrounded by. Ten strong alphas I hardly knew, alphas who could do whatever they wanted with me, and no one would stop them. Nothing would stop them. They could tie me and lock me up and no one would come asking questions.
I closed my eyes, taking in their strong scent. That same scent that nearly put me on my knees on my first day here. The scent I'd grown used to. My omega focused on it as well, trying to understand why I was so focused on it. It knew I was miserable, so the only rational conclusion it could come up with was...
Company?
I had to laugh a little. My omega thought we stood there because I wanted company.
I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. These alphas were strong. Stronger than most. They could do whatever they wanted with me, but they were only interested in making sure I had enough snacks and toys.
And that was what confused my omega. These ten alphas went against everything we had learned about alphas. We were in heat, and our strongest instinct was to hide from them, but none of them seemed interested in us like that. So... since there was no pain or fear, we could finally hear our natural instincts. And an omega's natural instinct was to seek for the company of alphas.
I walked past the rest of the doors, and I was followed only by silence. I stepped into the living room and stopped to stare at the chaos.
"You'll be used as a fucking toy!"
I snorted at the echo of Stoll's words and went to turn on a small lamp in the corner. The dim light was enough to reveal the mess left behind by my teammates.
Stoll lost again. The only toys here were actual toys.
I was quiet when I went to sit down on the floor next to the table. There were so many little toys I couldn't decide what to even look at. At least now I had all the time to check them out in peace. I suppose I could use a stress ball or something. I mean, I assumed it was all right if I picked a second one.
But my peace and quiet went out the window real fast. I heard a door being opened down the hallway, and I froze a little.
"Riley...?"
I relaxed when I heard Reid's quiet voice long before he stepped into the living room. His sleepy eyes landed on me, and he lowered his shoulders.
"There you are," he said softly, and made his way to me. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Just needed to stretch my legs," I told him. "I'm fine. You can go back to sleep."
"Okay," he said, but instead of leaving, he lay down on the couch behind me.
"I meant, like, in your own bed," I noted.
"Uh-huh..."
I watched while he grabbed a blanket from the backrest and pulled it over him, then settled down to watch me.
"Okay then..." I muttered and turned my attention back to the toys.
Or tried to. I could still feel Reid's eyes on me, and my omega was getting hormonal. I tried to scold it again, because Reid was our partner, nothing else. Sure, he was handsome, smelled nice, and was kind to us, but he was just our partner. But I guess my attempts to explain that to my omega only confused it more. It didn't understand what I was trying to say, and thought I believed we couldn't trust Reid, that he could be dangerous to us. I had to stop trying before I ruined its trust in Reid. I didn't want that.
Slowly, I was able to continue going through the toys in my search for something I liked. I didn't really find the stress toys something I needed, but I did take a simple squeezable black ball just to give it a try. I also spotted a metallic fidget spinner, but I kind of wanted it only because it looked really cool. The middle part was black, and the spinning part was shaped like three wings, joined together to form a perfect circle. I also liked how heavy it was. It felt good in my hand.
I spun it for a bit, then turned to look at Reid. He was still watching me, his eyes barely open.
"Found what you like?" he asked in a low, quiet voice.
"I think so. I mean, I can have both, right?" I asked him.
"Sure. Better grab everything you want now because Captain will store the rest in his apartment in a day or two," he told me.
I turned back to look at the toys. I didn't really see anything else... Although... There was a small little stuffed teddy bear... It was baby pink, and looked soft...
Carefully, I reached for it. My first instinct was to ignore it and pretend I didn't like stuffed animals. I mean, the famous Gambit, the dangerous tough guy with anger issues, was watching me. Then I remembered he had stuffed animals too.
"You know..." I muttered as I took the teddy bear and studied it closely. "I had such a different view on SOU elites before joining this team."
"You mean you thought we're cold, heartless killers?" he asked.
"Yeah..."
"Well, can't blame you since that's what people are supposed to think of us. It gets a little hard to strike fear into our enemies' hearts if they know we need teddy bears to sleep."
I laughed a bit too hard at his words, then nodded. "Yeah... I can see how that can be an issue."
He chuckled softly, sending shivers down my spine, but I ignored that. Stupid hormonal omega...
"I'm getting really curious to see you fight," he then said. "The suit and the knives... I've seen a few people with training like yours, and it looks so cool. Real assassin style."
I let out a breath, feeling a little nervous. "Maybe I just suck ass..."
"No, you won't," he said. "For one, no captain will put fifteen thousand dollars on a single suit for anyone who sucks ass. And two, you're way too stubborn to suck ass."
"Well that I am," I agreed. "I really want to get back to training. It's been two weeks now. I'm getting rusty."
"I'm sure Captain will let you start training with us real soon. He usually gives two weeks to new guys to get settled in before their training begins. And I think we're supposed to have our bootcamp at Fort North Wilson next month, too, so you need some warming up for that."
"Fort North Wilson?" I repeated.
"Yeah, Governor Wilson lets everyone use his training facility he built up the mountains. For a price. But it's really good. His training grounds are ranked the best in the country. Every SOU team from every state gets to train there a few times a year," he explained.
I nodded slowly. "I think I've heard of it. The training courses are deadly, right?"
He laughed lightly. "Well, not deadly, but you will wish you could just die while going through some of them. It took me years' worth of training before I was finally able to finish the worst of them, and I've not tried them again. They are brutal. Getting through them all once was enough for me."
"Yeah I've definitely heard of it, then," I said with a chuckle. "I probably can't finish even half of them."
"Don't worry, no one expects us to be able to finish them. They're mostly just for fun. Captain takes us there so we get a better picture of what we need to focus on more in our training. The seminars they have are more important, anyway."
I nodded slowly, then grinned at him. "I kind of want to try some of the courses."
"You'll get to," he said. "Captain will hover over you the entire time, of course."
"Of course he will," I said with a chuckle.
He smiled at me, then stretched a little. "Right. Ready to go back to bed?"
"Yeah, I suppose so," I said, glancing at the toys on the table, but nothing else stood out.
Reid got up, then helped me up from the floor. I held my new toys against my chest when I followed him to our room, and there I went to put them safely on my desk. The teddy bear was able to sit up on its own, so I put it right next to my rook toy. Seeing them side by side made me happier than it should have.
A goddamn elite soldier... But I guess... After all the things I'd lived through... I needed this little moment to feel like a child. It had never been safe for me to be a child before... It was quite liberating really.
I turned around and was immediately met by Reid's watchful eyes. He stood in the middle of our room, not showing any signs of going to bed. My omega wasn't quite sure what to think of that. Especially since Reid wasn't turning away.
"All good?" I asked to break the tension that was slowly building up.
"Yeah, I was just wondering... Would you be all right with bonding with me a little?" he asked.
"Bonding... Now...?" I asked, suddenly feeling a bit nervous.
That thought... I hated it... but there it was...
What if I was wrong about Reid all along?
But Reid took a step back, looking flustered all of a sudden. "Sorry, I forgot it's the middle of the night. Obviously not now. It's so late. You need to sleep."
"I mean..." I hurried to say, taking that same step toward him. "I don't mind. It won't take long, right?"
"Yeah, but it's fine. I should let you sleep," he said, but stopped retreating from me.
"Come on," I said, smiling a little when I walked closer to him.
He still hesitated, so I bowed at him a little, inviting his alpha to take in our scent. Reid immediately responded by lowering his chin as well.
"If you don't mind...?" he asked carefully, closing the distance between us.
His bow was friendly, and he kept his nose turned away from my shoulder. I didn't use my words to reply to him. Instead, I stretched my neck to get closer to his shoulder, both my omega and I showing them we were willing to bond. Reid stayed still, giving us time, but little by little, he bowed deeper, and carefully brought his nose closer to us while lowering his shoulder.
His scent really was nice... Heavy... Primal. It reminded me of something dangerous...
Reid let out gentle breaths, reaching even closer to my glands, but backed off politely to give me room to reject him. He repeated this several times, never getting too close, even though I was fine with his advances.
My omega was happy. It was happy to finally meet and greet an alpha who was being so kind and polite. We'd learned that interacting with alphas would always end up with us being forced to bond, our messages completely ignored, then getting used and hurt. But this alpha here... They listened carefully. They didn't ignore us or push us. They gave us room to retreat. They were so gentle...
It made my omega so happy... It had waited for so long for someone to bond with... We weren't meant to live alone in isolation, with no one by our side, no one to turn to. Without friends and family, our spirits withered. My omega had suffered with deep heartache without anyone to bond with. And so had I.
So... I inched a little closer and stopped to wait for Reid's permission, our nose only inches away from his neck. He responded by bowing deep and lowering his shoulder, giving us plenty of room to study his scent.
My omega got excited, but we, too, wanted to be polite, so we carefully moved closer to his shoulder, several inches away from his gland, then carefully approached it. I really had to stretch my neck to reach the right spot because of how short I was compared to him.
Reid stayed quite still and kept letting out slow, heavy breaths as they continued studying our scent, reassuring us they meant no harm. I trusted him, and focused on his scent, his pheromones, and the warmth of his body. My omega was thrilled to get to know more about him, to learn his scent, and bond. It really liked this alpha.
We reached his gland, and his strong pheromones surrounded us completely. It was intoxicating... I could feel my mind slipping away as I took them in. But I wasn't afraid... Neither was my omega... Even though he was drugging us, we trusted him not to take advantage of it.
"Riley...?" he murmured.
"Hmm...?"
"You're falling asleep."
"Huh..."
Reid chuckled and pulled away. As I took in the fresh air, my mind cleared a little, and I understood Reid had to hold me up. My body was so heavy it was almost difficult to stand. Another few deep breaths later, I understood just how vulnerable I'd let myself become.
He could've done anything he wanted to us, and I let myself get so drugged I wouldn't have been able to resist any of it. I wouldn't have even understood to resist any of it.
I looked up at Reid, who gave me a gentle, sleepy smile.
He was still holding me.
"You should sleep now," he told me.
"Right... Right..." I mumbled, and stepped back, shaking myself. "Sorry... I didn't mean to..."
"You're in heat," he said. "My pheromones affect you differently now."
"Yeah," I said, retreating to my bed. "Should've seen that coming..."
"It's all right," he said as he backed to his bed as well. "But maybe now you'll sleep better?"
"Maybe," I said as I sat down.
I still felt weird. A little shaken, maybe. Not because of anything Reid did, but because of what I let happen. I should've been more careful. But at the same time, I was happy.
"Goodnight," Reid said softly.
"Goodnight," I replied, smiling.
I could trust him.