A/N-So first off, WOW! Almost 400 views?!? Thank you to everybody who has been reading. And secondly, this will be the first Eren POV! Forgive me if it drags a little but I want to have Eren's emotions in all of this as well. So here is Chapter 7. Happy Reading!-Zenovia
Eren's POV
Chapter 7
Grow up Eren. Those were the words that I heard for all of my life. During school, at home, with my so called "friends" in high school. It didn't matter. I had to grow up the minute somebody told me too. That made me defile the rules every second I could. I didn't want to grow up. But sooner or later, fate made me. After my mom died, I had to become the man of the house because my father was never caring for Mikasa and me. I won't get into the details of the beatings and fights that went on in the little place that I had to call "Home" but let's just say that I took advantage of leaving for college.
I had to be the one to protect everybody I loved, and if I messed up I would pay the consequences. I have been trying to be strong my whole life. I put on a mask and showed people that I was strong. That I could carry on a small family of only two, by myself. Sadly, I didn't take off my mask when I got to college. I got the reputation of being the one who is always happy. The one who takes care of people. The one who can be strong for others. My freshman year of college was okay. I made some better friends than I did in high school. Mikasa was only an hour away so I could visit her whenever I wanted. But I still felt alone. Nobody at my school really knew who I was.
I traveled a lot into the city during college. Normally I would take my truck, but on one fateful day. It broke down. So I took the train. After I was done running all of my errands, I just decided to go back to my dorm room and mope around. It looked like it was going to rain that day, but my window was fogged up, so I looked onto the other side of the train, and there he was. My saving grace, I like to think of him now. I kept observing him and of course he knew I was. I was meet with bright, blue, sapphire eyes. That night was the beginning. My new beginning. And it was all because of him, that I am the person I am right now.
He became my new home. Armin discovered things about me that I would have never let anybody else know. He understood me, and for once, I didn't have to put on my mask for him. He saw the real me, and that's all that I have dreamed for in life, for somebody to see the real me, and not be disgusted with the sight they are met with. He was a miracle. Between words and songs, and family matters and being scared of horror movies, he understood all of my imperfections.
That night of Halloween was a breaking point for me. I had to hold all of my fear inside because people thought me strong. But he didn't see through my mask. He came to my rescue when I asked him too. He was amazing to me, he was the stronger one. I am pressed up against him now. My hair still damp from the shower I took in Armin's bathroom. All of his words seem to be flowing together because I don't understand what he is saying until he says the one thing that I have been dying to hear for as long as I can remember. "It's going to be okay Eren. I am right here. Nothing is going to hurt you when I am here." He said. I can't help the slow hot tears come out of my eyes. He wipes them away like a mother would do for a child. But he isn't treating me like a child. He is treating me like me. He understands that I can't be tamed sometimes, that I can be dangerous in my moments of depression. I hear the sounds of music play in the background, and I can feel being swept away into a state of sleep, but I know that I have to thank Armin for everything he has done tonight. "I love you Armin. Thank you for being my everything." I say, and I mean it. The only way I can describe him in this moment is 'My Everything.' Finally, after hours of stress and fear, I fall asleep.
The next morning, I am met with warm air on the back of my neck and the soft sounds of piano playing in the distance. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, it is slow and steady, the way it should be. All of my fears of last night have slowly cascaded away. It's all because of him, the strong blue eyed boy laying next to me. I turn my body to face Armin. He is still asleep. I start to look at the detail of Armin's porcelain like complexion. His mouth is open just a little, and I can notice all of the freckles that lay on his little button nose. He shifts his position just an inch, and a piece of his hair falls down into his face. I see that his nose is twitching at the sudden disturbance, so I gently grab the piece of hair and put it back in place. He looks almost angelic, laying here like this. He is so peaceful, so calm.
I keep studying all of his little details, until I start to see that his eyes are slowly starting to open. At first it was only a twitch, but then after blinking a few times, I was greeted with his soft blue eyes. They are glazed over from just waking up, but they are still shimmering.
"Hey." I say with a smile. "Hi." He replies in a husky morning voice. Armin starts to sit up and stretch, and I can hear the little moans that come out of him, and for some reason, I can feel my face start to get red at these little sounds. "How are you doing?" Armin questions me. "I feel a lot better. Thank you, for last night. I'm sorry if I intruded or anything." I said quietly. "Of course not Eren! Listen, I know that I can't do much to try and help, but if you ever need anything. I will come running to you. Just to be by your side. I don't care how far, or how long it will take me to get to you, but I will always be here for you. I need you, and you need me. We are strong together. If you ever need me, just say the words, and I will be there." Armin says. I know that his words are sincere because he does this little smile. He bites his lower lip and kind of giggles, it's very endearing. I just nod and smile back. "Also...I love you too..." He says while looking at the covers on his bed. "What?" I say in confusion. "I...I heard you last night, before I fell asleep, you said that you loved me and that I was your everything. I feel the same way, I am glad that I am your everything because, you are mine." He blushes through the statement.
"I didn't think that you heard me. After I said all of that, all I could hear was your steady breathing, so I just assumed that you fell asleep." I concluded. Armin chuckles a little and then replies "I would never miss out on hearing those words." We both laugh a legit laugh, and I know that everything is back to normal. The memories of the leaning in, and the "accidental" touching, and all of the tears, slowly start to wash away from my mind. I feel like myself again, sitting in Armin's dorm, I feel as if I am home.
Armin suddenly stands up from the warm bed. "Well, Mr. Emerald Eyes, what adventure should we go on today?" He says. I think about all of the possibilities that we could do on this warmer fall day. Then, an idea pops in my head. "Teach me how to skate." I say nonchalantly. Armin's eyes start to shimmer with excitement. I can tell he is thinking about all of the tricks he will show me, and how funny to him it will be when I fall on my ass. The both of us quickly get dressed in some clean sweatshirts and jeans, and we head out to our next adventure.
We find a small secluded skate park on the other side of town. "This is where I first learned to skate. I always came here when nobody else was here. It's my little thinking place, just like your park. Nobody was here to laugh at me whenever I fell. Although, it did get lonely at times. But now this can be our place." He said with bright eyes. "Alright, lets start skating." I said. But Armin just shook his head. "Not without these." He handed me some knee pads and a helmet. I groaned at the thought of how stupid I would look wearing that goddamn pink helmet with matching knee pads. "But Armin, just look at them! I don't want to be seen wearing those!" I moaned out. Armin just rolled his eyes and said "Fine, you don't have to wear them for now, but the first time you fall on your head or knees, then I will forcefully put them on you." He said with half serious eyes. I groaned and agreed to his deal.
It was an interesting experience trying to find my balance on the skateboard. I thought that would be much simpler, but each time I got both of my feet on the board, I would immediately grab onto Armin's shoulders to balance myself. It was like people were pushing me in all different directions whenever my two feet got on the board. "Alright, just relax Eren. Try and bend with your knees and shift your weight a little bit at a time." Armin instructed.
I put both of my feet on the board and closed my eyes. I felt everything around me, and gently shifted my weight with my knees. I started to wobble, but I relaxed my shoulders and leaned the other way. "Good Eren! I think that you have balance under control now! So now we are going to start on actually moving." Armin said.
He offered his arm just in case I fell. I pushed off with my right foot and I was off. Whenever I felt like I was losing speed, I kicked the ground once again. I leaned my weight with my knees and I was slowly turning right. I didn't even notice that Armin had moved his arm away, so that I was moving all on my own. "Haha, look Armin I'm doing it! I'm skating!" I yelled. Armin ran up against me and then pulled ahead of me. "Okay, now try and skate to me." Armin said.
I slowly shifted my weight so that I was in the direction of Armin. I kicked my leg harder and harder, trying to see how fast I could go. The wind was rushing through my hair, and it felt amazing. I realized why Armin liked riding to class all the time. It felt like you were flying. Like you were bird. I started to close my eyes and spread my arms out like I was going to jump off of the skateboard and start to soar into the sky. Everything was shut out of my brain. Everything, including the shouts of Armin telling me to slow down. "Eren stop! You're going to crash right int-"
BANG! I felt my body leave the skateboard and crash right into my blond haired friend. We rolled against the solid pavement, and I received scrapes on my knees and elbows. I probably looked like a hot mess. I opened my eyes, and I saw Armin, with his hands on the cement, holding his upper body up, looking down at me. His eyes were dilated and he was breathing heavily. Then he did something that I wasn't expecting. He started to laugh. And it wasn't like a soft, dainty laugh. He was laughing with all of his muscles, and he wouldn't stop. His eyes were shimmering with tears of laughter. I just looked at him incredulously. He looked so happy in this moment. The sunshine was hitting him just at the right angle, almost making his hair seem like it was glowing, and he had fall leaves all scattered throughout his hair. This wasn't a side of Armin that came out all too often. He usually was very calm and collected, but now, he looked wild. He looked happy.
I started to feel myself start to chuckle with him, then I proceeded to laugh louder, until I was to the point of my stomach hurting. The both of us couldn't stop laughing no matter what we tried to do. I couldn't control anything in my body. So when I pulled Armin into my arms, it surprised me as much as it did him. But we were taken away by laughing before we knew it. I could feel his stomach against mine and it wouldn't stop moving with all of the laughing. I could feel tears pour out of my eyes with each new intake of breath. I truly didn't know what we were laughing at. But it was a blissful moment that I know I won't forget.
After what seemed like days, our breaths started to regulate back to normal. We just laid there, in a heap of scrapes and fall leaves. I wouldn't have wanted it any different. It was nice to be this close to Armin. He was smiling at me, and I back at him. Then I saw his blue eyes dart to look at my newly found cuts. He looked back into my eyes and he said with a smirk, "Guess who's wearing the knee pads and helmet."
While I was skating slowly, I swear I could have heard Armin take a picture of me in the bright pink protective gear. Although, the new fashion statement didn't put a damper on my spirit. We spent all day at the skate park until the sun started setting. After we both were skated out, we decided to go grab a bite to eat.
We went to our local pizza place that had a Karaoke system in the party room. We got our table and went to get our food. It was nice hanging out with Armin. I smiled a lot more when I was around him, and I felt almost normal with him. He didn't make me feel uncomfortable or awkward. "So did you like skating today?" Armin asked. "Yeah! I think that I will definitely keep trying." I replied. We ate our food and had a normal conversation, until a familiar face walked into the restaurant.
I stood up out of my seat and I was shocked to see the raven haired girl standing in front of me, especially with her arm around a certain blond haired girl. "Mikasa?!" I exclaimed. I saw her grey eyes look up at me in surprise. "Eren? Wow I didn't think that I would see you here." She said. I went to look at the blond haired girl with Mikasa, and gasped in shock when I realized that it was Annie. "Hey." She waved her hand at me and Armin.
I motioned for Armin to come over to my side. "Umm, Mikasa, this is Armin. Armin, this is my sister Mikasa." I introduced the two. The pair shook hands and exchanged smiles. "It's nice to finally meet you Armin. Eren is always mentioning you to me." Mikasa remarked. Armin got a little pink in the face at that remark and said "It's nice to meet you as well, Eren has told me a lot of good things about you."
Then I looked at the pair and said "So, when did...'this' start." I motioned at Mikasa and Annie. The girls just stared at each other, looking for words to say. It was Mikasa who eventually spoke up. "Well, ever since the end of freshman year." She said shyly. "What?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I exclaimed. "Because we didn't want to freak you out. We just thought that it would be better if we didn't tell anybody about our relationship." Annie replied. "We were worried that you wouldn't accept us as a couple." Mikasa looked at the floor. My heart dipped into my stomach at the thought of Mikasa having to keep this kind of secret to herself for so long. I would never wish anybody to have to keep something like that for so long. "Mikasa." I took her hand. "I will always accept you. You are my sister after all. I will love you no matter what." She looked at me with her light grey eyes. Then she chuckled a little bit, "Wow, I never thought that I would come out to you in a pizzeria." All four of us laughed at her comment. Then we all sat at the table and just had casual discussions.
It was nice for all of us to have this time together. Mikasa and Armin seemed to be getting along swimmingly. It felt like they had known each other their whole life. All of us were just about to leave and go back to our dorms when the door ringed opened to the sight of Marco, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Ymir, and Christa.
Connie caught sight of us and ran over to us. "Hey guys! Nice to see you here. What are you up to?" He inquired. We told him that we just stopped here to grab a bite to eat, then he asked us if we wanted to sing some Karaoke with the group. I looked at the other three and they were all up for the activity, so we joined everybody else.
Everybody was having a great time. Most us had gotten up on the stage and sang an edition of a popular song. The room was full of laughs, smiles, and very out of tune voices. I had just finished singing a rendition of Green Day's "Twenty One Guns" when I caught sight of Armin looking off in the distance, as if praying not to get picked to sing. I decided that it was time to get revenge for the pink helmet and knee pads picture, which he just so happened to post to Instagram with the caption, "To manly to handle ;)"
I walked over to the blond and handed him the microphone. "Your turn Blondie." I winked at him. His sapphire eyes grew wide "Oh no. I'm okay. Connie you can go ahead of me." Armin said with fear in his eyes. But by this time the whole group had started to chant Armin's name. The blond boy sighed in defeat, and firmly grabbed hold of the mic. He started to scroll through the list of songs until he landed upon his choice.
"Okay, please don't judge me for this. And no recording me!" He told the group. Armin took a deep breath and waited for the song to start. The lyrics echoed through the microphone into a sweet, but kind of raspy, sexy voice that could only be Armin's. I recognized the song the minute the first lyric went by. It was "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance. Armin had told me once that MCR was one of his favorite bands, and that he crawled into a little bit of depression when the band broke up.
Armin was a little stiff on stage, but his voice was as strong as ever with each verse.
"Because the drugs never work"
"They're gonna give you a smirk"
"Cause they got methods of keeping you clean."
His voice got a lot more confident with each word, and he started to relax. Then I got a sudden idea that would make this all the better. I started to harmonize with him, and he looked at me and got the idea. I walked up onto the stage and sang into the microphone with him so that our voices blended together better. Then the rest of the guys started to smirk at each other, and I motioned for all of them to come up onto the stage.
Connie was the first, and he pretended to play the drums. Marco was on bass, and Jean was on electric guitar. We were all head banging and shouting out the lyrics
"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"
"They could care less as long as someone'll bleed"
"So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose"
"Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me."
The girls on the floor we loving every second of it. They were head banging and singing along to the music. Armin finally seemed like he was comfortable with being up on stage. He was dancing along with the beat of the music, and he was smiling at the guys pretending to play the instruments for the song. I was enjoying the experience of singing with Armin. Our voices matched perfectly and it was the right tone for this song.
After the song was over, all of the girls cheered for us, and I urged Armin to take a bow. We were all laughing when we got off of the stage. That was probably one of the most funniest things that we had all done, but it was well worth it. Sometimes you have to do something a little silly once in a while. It was about midnight when all of us left the restaurant to go back to our rooms.
Armin and I told Mikasa and Annie that they were welcome to come over with us during Thanksgiving and hang out with us. The girls agreed and sped off on their own ways with their hands intertwined. Armin and I walked to his dorm. I couldn't stop smiling at remembering Armin up on that stage. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I looked to see a video of all of us singing "Teenagers"
From Sasha: Already on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram ;)
I laughed at the message and put my phone back into my pocket. Armin would not be happy when he checked on social media, but it would be well worth it. I started to look at all of the stars in the sky when I stopped walking. "Eren? Are you okay?" Armin asked. I was snapped out of my daze and looked into his soft blue eyes. "Oh, sorry, I'm fine." I smiled at him, and we continued to walk back to his dorm. But while I was walking, I couldn't stop looking back up at the night sky and noticing that the Big Dipper and Little Dipper, were shining brighter than all of the other stars in the sky.