Blitz was driving the company van to work with his crew inside listening to the radio
Blitz: I love this song!
Blitz tries to sing-along with the music but messes up the lyrics. He goes into the parking lot and goes to park in his space until a pink car swoops in and steals the spot
Blitz: Holy shit! Fuck!
Blitz slams on brakes stopping the van . He looks out on the car's license plate saying "suck 4 life"
Blitz: oh you suck for life do ya? *pulls out microphone* Listen up you unoriginal pink cum dump you have 3 goddam seconds to get your dick out of my parking spot.
The person gets out of the car revealing famous pop star verosika mayday
Blitz: oh shit. Verosika?
Verosika: Blitzo
Blitz:I should've known you'd be here I could smell fish for miles which is odd because I believe the nearest ocean is *falls out of van* Three rings down!
Verosika:And I should've known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts
Blitz:Oh yeah I'm surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab I can see your still a drunken whore clutching on to that beezle juice bottle like it's the last cock in hell
Verosika:They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad loser wash ups, so your sister says hi.
Blitz:Why are you parking here? This is the only parking spot my company has so take your tampon race car somewhere else!
Verosika: Actually prick it has my name on it
On the pavement it said I.M.P but it was spray painted over with verosika.
Verosika: I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the more l infinitely more successful companies in the building
While she was talking loona and the turtles were surprised at seeing the pop star at work
Loona: No way
Mikey: Whoa guys can you believe that the verosika mayday is here?
Raph:I was really not expecting that
Donnie: So what do you think their talking about
Leo: Well maybe their just trying to come to a very civil agreement for the parking space
Raph: Leo do you know who our boss is?
Leo: Yeah hearing that out loud made me realize how dumb that was
Back outside with blitz and verosika
Verosika:-and they wanted me to come in this week to lead their team during spring break
Blitz: A week?! Nononono you are not parking here for a fucking week
Verosika: Aw you mad blitzo you gonna run off leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room steal their car and run three rings to wrath and max my credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons!
Blitz: run three rings to wrath and max my credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons. Goddammit whore you not let that go
Verosika: Choke on a sandpaper cock
Blitz: Hold on you better move that pussy wagon or I'm gonna-
Suddenly behind him a large and grey hellhound with a scar on his left eye is growling at him
Hound: You'll what?
Blitz: or I'll uh I'll call HR
They all share a brief laugh for a moment before cutting back to a serious conversation
Verosika: Anyway meet my new hellhound vortex unlike you he does his job well. Tata fuckstain
Blitz: uh I've wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that
Loona: You know verosika mayday!?
Blitz: Huh oh yeah her we dated
Millie: was it before or after she became a pop star?
Moxxie: You dated a pop star!?
Raph: How did you date someone period?
Blitz: Look why are you all acting like it's such a shook
Loona: hello it's verosika mayday
Millie: it's you
Donnie: And you know you're a little on the weird side
Moxxie: i just is she blind? Suffering some form of brain damage?
Blitz:Ok look you are all making this into a way bigger to a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives
Moxxie: You do that all the time sir
Raph: What are you talking it's like breathing for you
Loona: you totally do that
Leo: You've always done that
Millie:you kinda do that
Mikey: Sorry but you do
Donnie:When have you not
Millie: What was sex with her like?
Moxxie: Millie?! In front of our boys?!
All 4: Oh gosh gross!!!
Millie: What it's a pop star. You'd want to know what sex with Michael Crawford was like
Moxxie: Touché
Leo: was that conversation really necessary? You just had to say that in front of our faces huh?
Blitz: Alright look let's just drop it okay! Millie find a temporary spot for that truck everyone else let's go handle this shit
They all enter the building and head into the hallway through the elevator
Loona: do you think they saw me? Fuck I did my make up shitty today
Blitz: Aw you look perfect loonie. Like always
Loona: Shut up da- uh blitz
Mikey: He's right loo it doesn't matter how you did your make up all you have to believe is that you're beautiful
Loona: You stole that from a cartoon didn't you?
Mikey: N-no I didn't
Loona: Look that doesn't matter okay!
Loona pulls out a mirror until numbing into vortex. Blitz saw this and was angered
Blitz: hi big man where's your bitch bag of an employer
Vortex: She's in her office. There wasn't room on the second floor so they rented one here on this one. It's cheaper
Blitz: oh come on!
Vortex: heh sorry man
Raph: Aw man he's so cool
Leo: Yeah he is
Mikey: Totally
Donnie: Epic
Blitz: oh no you don't bitch
Moxxie: sir how about you let me go in and try to reason with her I don't really listen to what's pop genre music so her status to me is
Blitz was tuning him out the whole time not listening to a single word
Blitz: Moxxie shut the fuck up
Moxxie: Alrighty then
Moxxie walks in inside as everyone else watches through the windows
Moxxie: hello Ms. Verosika was it I work for I.M.P and it is actually rather important for us that we retain the singular parking space we were assigned because -
Coco: Aw look at little guy he's got a wittle bow tie
Moxxie: Please don't condescend me ma'am
Josh: Want a kissie little guy
Moxxie: A kind offer but I'm married
Verosika: Hey why don't you send a message from me back to your limp dick boss
They all surround moxxie and get all over him and the turtles and blitz run straight up to the window
Blitz: Moxxie don't her access any of your holes!
Leo: Dad! Get of there run!
Moxxie burst through the door terrified and covered in kisses
Moxxie: I- I got to go lie down now
Raph&Blitz: Oh this won't stand!!
They both bust in the room
Blitz: alright *beep* that's it. If you're gonna be shitty to my employees then I challenge you to a fucking challenge. Fuck I said that twice
Kiki: Is this imp boy starting a demon duel?
Verosika: I think he is. What's the game then blitzo
Blitz: Every year you std spreaders go up topside
for easy pickens while spring break is prime time for a crime of kinds. So I bet you succubitches can't fuck as many people as when can off by the end of the day. And I warn you raph here is one of my best
Raph: Yeah come on try me!!
They all laugh at blitz and raph thinking they were joking
Verosika: oh your serious you think you beat us? Even with that freak with you? Well then game on. Bitch
At the office blitz is conducting a meeting on how to beat verosika
Blitz: All right shut your assholes here's how we're gonna do this shit. First we find a fuck ton of clients we portal up we have our fun murder spree as per usual we pile all the bodies into a big fucking canoe. We push said canoe into some water we light it on fire to attract sharks, and eagles, and shit, maybe even a goose too fuck it they come and eat the bodies we win the bet we rub it in that sloppy bitch's drunken whore ass face do you have any questions?
Mikey: I do! *raises hand*
Blitz: shoot mike
Mikey: can we get pizza after we win?
Blitz: Of course we can and it'll be the best goddamn pizza you have had
Moxxie: uh I have a question, why was that nonsense?
Blitz: That wasn't a question
Moxxie: that wasn't a plan
Blitz: I'm sorry that was a flawless presentation of what we should do mox it's not my fault that you got a smooth little brain upstairs
Moxxie: a what now?
Blitz: I'm calling you slow mox god why don't you learn to take criticisms you talentless baby dick troll
Moxxie: well why don't you take an art class
Blitz: Why don't you see how expensive they are!
Loona: hey is their a way I can come with you guys this time?
Blitz: absolutely not I forbid it spring break is not a place for young vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you
They all stare directly at the screen
Mikey: Why do want to go with us loo? Oh is it because of vorte-
Loona: NO! Shut up I just want to go! And besides I can blend in with humans easy enough just let me tag along
Blitz: wait say that again
Loona: I can blend in
Donnie: you have a human disguise?
Loona: Yeah don't you?
They all stare at each other
Loona: You guys have been screwing around on earth this whole fucking time! Without human disguises?!
Blitz: okay new plan! Loonie can help lure humans to us and we'll take care of the rest okay how bout that
Leo: I don't see anything wrong with that
Moxxie: Um your both missing the biggest issue, isn't crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet. We aren't just going up to massacre
Raph: I would love to massacre!!
Donnie: You have a rage problem dude
Blitz: don't worry any of you I've got it covered
Outside Blitz had placed a poster for a 50 percent off deal for spring break
Blitz: Now we wait
Moxxie: Sir there is no way we are going to get enough clients by the end of the day with one poorly spelled bad grammar flyer
As soon as he finished that a huge line of clients had stood in front of the flyer. After the gang had all arrived in the human world at a beach and arrived under a pear
Blitz: now remember we can't be seen and loose shots will likely cause a panic so loona can help with leading targets away targets to better spot to off 'em. You got the list loonie.
Loona: *sniffs list* got it
Loona steps out and transforms into a human version of herself
Leo: Woah
Raph: How'd you do that
Donnie:I wish we could do that
Mikey: that was awesome
Blitz: Aw loonie you look downright awful I am so proud. Now fetch!
Loonie looks around and see the targets in red as she walks over to one pointing towards the alley for them to go. After that they go into the alley and Immediately the target gets shot. Soon after multiple targets are eliminated and they end at the beach storing body bags
Blitz: And that's 9 kills in the bag, I'd like to see that Whaley snatch that many-
Verosika: Alright spring breakers y'all ready to get fucked up and make some bitchin bad choices!
Verosika in a human disguise had set up an entire performance with an entire crowd of people cheering
Verosika: this is your final boarding call all aboard~
Verosika had 2 large big screens showing the words "fuck you blitzo" and had been begun singing and her crew had gone out to "do their jobs"
Blitz: Goddamnit! That bitch started her goatish matting call now she's gonna win all these sex maniacs! Now we gotta pick things up guys
Next to him a guy was barfing
Blitz: He on the list loonie?
Loona: Huh uh yeah I think so
Loona had been distracted because she saw vortex in the crowd
Blitz:Good! *pulls out axe*
Beach dude: Whoh what are you a leprechaun
Blitz: yeah pretty cool huh*splits guys head open* but you sure as shit ain't gonna tell nobody. Alright next one loonie come on
Blitz turns but sees her gone
Blitz: wha what WHERES MY BABY!!!
Mikey: Right there
Blitz sees her walking into the crowd towards vortex. During this the turtles had also thought about going and talking to vortex.
Mikey: Guys I want to go talk to him
Donnie: Mikey what? You know we can't mom and dad specifically told us not to talk to anyone ever you remember the story
Mikey: Yeah but maybe their wrong you know? Maybe vortex is different we can't unless we try right
Leo: i mean I guess it's worth a shot I mean what's one interaction gonna
Raph: I dunno probably end up with us dead or something
Leo: Well we were trained by mom and dad so I think we take this guy if we can do let's go
The turtles had decided to talk to vortex and walked out. However during this verosika had thrown her flask into the ocean causing a fish to mutate. Soon loona and the turtles had made it to vortex
Loona: Hey! You
Vortex: hey your the hound working for my boss's freaky ex
Loona: Yeah sorry if that's weird
Vortex: It's cool her beef ain't mine I ain't paid enough to care
Raph: OH MY GOD HE'S SO GOD DAMN COOL!!
Vortex: Huh who said that?
He had turned around and saw the turtles who waved nervously
Leo: Hey hehehe*awkward laugh*
Vortex: what the?!
Mikey: Um don't freak out we're with her, right loo
Loona: sadly they are
Vortex: Um okay nice to meet you uhh
Leo: My name is Leonardo or Leo and these are my brothers. Raphael.
Raph: Sup dude call me raph
Leo:Donatello
Donnie: that's me Donnie
Leo: And Michelangelo
Mikey: Mikey at your service
Vortex: Well nice to meet you little dudes
Loona: Well that's them haha I'm Loona
Vortex: Hehe okay I'm vortex! Heheh
Loona: That's hot~ I mean like literally you know vortexes you know they give off heat probably
Raph: smooth
Loona punches raph in his shoulder
Vortex: uh hehe yeah I guess but my friends call me Tex
Loona: oh yeah I wish I had friends heheh as I don't have friends
Leo: Woah
Raph: That's mean
Donnie: I mean kinda but ow
Mikey: That just hurts
The turtles were all offended and about to say something until blitz butted in the conversation
Blitz: Am I interrupting something?
Vortex: Nah man just having a conversation
Blitz: Conversation leads to HPV!
Donnie: That is not how you get HPV
As this was happening the boys were being called over by moxxie
Moxxie: Boys come here!
They all had walked up to them a bit glad that they were leaving that awkward moment
Leo: Uh yeah dad what's up
Moxxie: What we're you all doing?
Mikey:Nothing we were just talking to Tex
Moxxie: We told you not to talk to anyone! Did he try to hurt you, did he threaten you?
Leo: What no he didn't threaten us he was cool
Millie: are you sure? Cause I can kill him right now
The turtles: NO!! No
Raph: He's fine chill out you two
Moxxie: Alright we just want you to be safe okay
Millie: hey we're gonna keep knocking off this list wanna join?
Raph: sure, you guys want in?
Leo: No sorry
Mikey: Not really into that
Donnie: you got this
Raph: Hey your loss
The 3 brothers watched as Raph and their parents went off to continue killing. After they left they went back to check out the argument between blitz and loona to see if it went better. It didn't
Loona: blitz get the fuck out of here your gonna get us all into shit
Blitz: I just wanted to see what was so important that you'd be distracted from your job
Loona: what I can't have a break?
Blitz: We have a parking spot on the line!
Vortex: Hey dud why don't chill out
Blitz: Why don't you stay out of this okay this is our business literally
Loona: Fuck blitz why can't you stay out of my face for like 5 minutes!
Blitz: because I adopted you and that should mean something
Leo: You guys don't think she'll pull out the your not my dad card right?
Donnie: She probably will
Loona: what does that matter your not my real dad! I was almost 18
Mikey:wow she really did use it
Blitz: It still counts
Loona: well it shouldn't I didn't need you then asshole! I don't now.
The 3 brothers felt bad for blitz as he only cared about his daughter. With Moxxie, Millie, and Raph they were hiding behind a counter with beer kegs. There they had a crossbow ready and moxxie was about to fire until a guy showed up and flipped the table launching the 3 of them in the air. Raph and Millie landed away from the crowd however moxxie landed near them
Beach lady: Ew oh my god it's a fucking possum
Moxxie: Oh crumbs
They grab him and shove him in a beer keg and take him somewhere. Meanwhile raph had walked over to his brothers who were still watching loona and blitz
Raph: Have you dudes been here the whole time
Leo: yep
Mikey: They have been going at it for a long time
Donnie: did you finish the list
Raph: nah some humans got dad and but him into one of those kegs me and mom need your help searching
Leo: alright gives us a chance to get away from that
They all leave to search for their father however Mikey had asked to stay to help with loona and Blitz.
Mikey: See you guys!
Leo: be safe
Mikey goes up to blitz and loona and tries to help
Loona: uh blitz I'm-
Blitz: enjoy your break loonie. I'm gonna go kill something
Mikey: hey unc you alright? Do want to talk about that?
Blitz: What? No I don't mike I'm fine I don't need a shitty talk right now
Mikey: Well I believe that talking about feelings helps relationships
Blitz: Fine then let's talk then! What is it kid?
Mikey: ok *a bit nervous* sooo loona you think she be fine you think she gonna figure it all out?
Blitz: Honestly she can be a good kid but sometimes to me it feels like I can't lose her so I try to keep her safe and with me all the time and she hates me for it. I just- I just don't know what to do
Mikey:*whispers* maybe get off the girl's back
Blitz: What you say!!
Mikey: What! What I don't know
Blitz: You know I hate that the fact the she doesn't want to make this father-daughter thing work
Mikey: Maybe after the things that could've happened in her life she's afraid deep down of being alone
Blitz: I think you might be right,you know sometimes you think you have parenting down until they grow up. I just don't want to lose her and be out there alone. Like how your parents don't want to lose you or your brothers.
Mikey: Well as an objective observer with no skin in the game. I say you have to let spread her wings man. Like this
Mikey extends his arms out like wings
Mikey: if this isn't nice what is?
Mikey extends a fist towards blitz for a fist bump but blitz just laughs
Blitz: Thanks for the talk mike I needed that
Mikey: Hey what's family for?
They embrace in a hug for a few seconds until they break it off
Blitz: Your a real great nephew you know that?
Mikey: now I do
Blitz: Now why don't you find your family, I pretty sure they need you
Mikey: on it unc
Mikey leaves to find his brothers. Which his brother they were search kegs trying to find their dad each one only filled with beer. Until Millie shook one a feeling a thud
Millie: Boys he's here!
The 3 run up to the keg and Leo slashes the top having their father roll out with a smile on his face
Millie: Moxxie!
The 3: Dad!
Moxxie: Millieeeeee hey when did you get 4 heads I wanna kiss em
Raph: Wow he is messed up
Donnie: Well he was in that beer for a while
Mikey had arrived to his family and saw his dad all drunk
Mikey: Hey guys Um what's wrong with dad
Leo: Welp he's drunk, but it'll wear off
Suddenly out of the blue a giant fish monster had burst out of the water and had stepped on a human and cause all the humans to run
Moxxie: ohhh fish
The fish had snatched moxxie with its tongue bringing him to its mouth
Leo: Oh gosh!! Okay what do we do?!
Donnie: I don't know lead us Leo!!
Leo: Well I didn't think it would be this!!
Millie: Listen the plan is you stay here!! I getting your father it's too dangerous for you
Raph: What we're not staying here
Millie: you will!!
Millie stabs a man with a drink and turning into a Molotov cocktail and threw it at the beast causing it to go into the water and Millie chasing it
Raph: come on we're going after her!
Leo: But she told us to stay here
Raph: And your really gonna listen to that?! Our father is in danger and we are going to save him
Leo: But-*exhale* your right let's go
They all dive it to the water following their mother and climbing the beast. Millie, Raph, and Leo each stab the beast to rise while Donnie and Mikey lifted up by their brothers
Millie: Boys!! I told you it's to dangerous here!!
Raph: yeah but you really think your getting all the glory?
Millie: hehe okay. Leo I need help with this
Leo: yep
They open's the monsters jaw with sees moxxie punching it's uvula. Millie reach's out her hand but moxxie gives her a high five instead. She grabs his arm and Leo slices the monster's tongue so Millie can throw him out. Doing this cause them both to be inside it's mouth seeing this Raph, Mikey, and Donnie attack it's eyes . With raph stabbing the left eye with his sais and Donnie and Mikey walking it's right. Causing it to wobble all round, and on the inside Leo and Millie are inside attacking its jaw.Moxxie who landed in blitz's arms spoke
Moxxie: I love my family
Blitz: Huh Your wife probably pegs you doesn't she?
Back with the fight the monster launched them all in the air with Millie holding out her knife and all the other boys panicking in the air all fall into its mouth get swallowed. On the outside Millie's knife and Leo's katana's slice the beast causing huge amounts of blood to come out. They all return back on the beach with the boys being shocked and hyped after the battle
Mikey: Aw man that was crazy
Donnie: Right I've never ever thought that we'd be doing stuff like that ever
Raph: The adrenaline rush of that was insane
Leo: That was seriously so cool
Blitz: oh yeah way to show off guys
Millie: is mox okay?
Blitz drops him
Blitz: oh yeah he's fine
Moxxie: neeeeeeh*his family hugs him* this is funny I'm soooooooooooo drinky
Blitz: okay this is to wholesome for my liking
Verosika: Blitzo
Blitz: Oh perfect that must be the whores
Verosika: That was handled rather obvious, don't ya think?
Millie throws verosika her flask back
Millie: I don't think this belongs to any of us, would be a same if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world
Moxxie: hehehe oh satan you guys are so fuuucked
Verosika: Oh yeah well you 7 nasty as gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises
Moxxie:*faceplants* a human called me a possum I am not a possum
Blitz: You know we could keep this whole b movie scene on the down low if you let us use that parking space
Verosika: Fine
Blitz: WE FUCKING WON!!HAHAHA
Millie: Fuck yes!
Mikey: High three!!
The four brothers all did a high five or three since they have three fingers
Blitz: in your face bitch
Verosika: ugh come on Tex!!
Vortex and loona were on the far side of the beach
Vortex: well guess it's time to bounce but hey if you ever down to part I'll give you a ring sometime
Loona: Really!?- I mean heh yeah yeah
Vortex: yeah my girlfriend throws a ton of crazy hound parties
Loona: Nice can't wait for my first one
Vortex: hehe let's get you some friends girl. Oh and before I forget Hey turtle dudes!!
All 4: Yeah
Vortex: Y'all want to come to one of my girls hound parties?!
Leo: What no way yes!
Raph: Aw yeah!
Donnie:Woah!
Mikey: It would be awesome
Vortex: Hehe awesome hope to see ya there!
Blitz: Come on loonie let's go park our fat fucking car in our fat fucking space!
Mikey: yeah come on loona we're getting victory pizza!
They all go through the portal to hell and Blitz jumps out to give Mayday double birds before closing it
Well that's another chapter done and I hope you all enjoyed it word count:4364