Hey kiddo, I hope midterms are going well.
I forgot to tell you that I cut my hair super short, so no more braids for me.
I'm glad I finally did it.
Andrew misses my hair more than me, but I'm happy with it. I look so different.
I love you,
Spencer.
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"Hey" Spencer smiled as Andrew came through the door, she paused the tv.
"I hate teenagers" he said.
"Rough day?"
"I want to avada them."
Spencer laughed out loud, "I'm not kidding" Andrew shook his head.
"I'm sorry Andy" she pet the empty space beside her.
He laid his head on her thighs, staring at the ceiling.
"There will be better days" she ran her finger smoothly across his face.
He took a deep breath, "you're right. I like my job. I get to steal candy and eat nachos all the time."
"And you wonder why your stomach hurts" she laughed.
"How are you? I feel like we haven't talked in forever."
"I'm good, don't worry about me" she smiled.
"I always worry about you" he shook his head.
"Thank you" she smiled. "Want me to run you a bath?"
"Oh, please."
She laughed at this half moan, "I got you" she stood up and started the bath.
He went to the kitchen and got him some win, a glass, and lit some candles.
She burned lavender incense and called him as the water filled.
"I could kiss you" he said from the door.
She laughed, "I think a you're welcome will suffice."
"Thank you" he kissed her head. "I love you."
"I love you too" she smiled before leaving him alone.
An owl tapped on her window, she chill her head with a smile as she noticed whose it was.
She brought a treat and fed it.
Come over
-B
Spencer apparated to his room. "A please would've been nice, you know?"
"I get what I want" he shrugged, shirtless on his bed.
Spencer apparated back to her room.
His owl appeared moments later.
Please
-B
She apparated back to his room, "I get what I want" she smirked.
He pet the empty space beside him, she laid down with her head on his chest.
They cuddled in comfortable silence.
"Why don't you kiss me?" she asked.
"What?"
"We've never kissed" she looked up at him. "Why?"
"I just thought you didn't want to so... I didn't push" he shrugged.
"Oh."
"Do you want me to kiss you?" he asked.
"Do you want to kiss me?"
"Are you seriously asking that question?"
She laughed, "I'm just wondering is all" she shrugged.
"Why?" he asked.
"Oh" she sat up.
"Oh?"
"Well..." she tried to think about what she should say. "I went out with Gracie, she's my coworker. We went to a bar and got to know each other."
"Can I see the memory?" he smirked.
Spencer punched his arm, "I'm trying to have a conversation with you!"
"Fine fine" he rolled his eyes, trying to hide the laugh that formed.
"So then we went to a club and- I was drunk and... you know, this guy came up to me-"
"Never mind- I don't want to know" he cut her off.
"What? Why?"
"If you two had s-"
"No! Sirius just- can I talk please?" she laughed.
He nodded.
"He kissed me out of nowhere- then I realized we haven't kissed at all" she shrugged.
"Was he any good?"
"It was nice, I guess... to feel wanted" she nodded.
"You can date, you know" he offered. "I know I can't really do much for you stuck in this house... besides, I know eventually this ends."
"Do you want it to end?"
He sighed, "I mean, at some point you're going to get a boyfriend. And if we're having sex during the getting the know each other stage- that's okay. But, I don't want to be-"
"Why are we talking about me dating? I'm not going to date I can barely handle you" she laughed.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Yeah, you can tell me anything" she nodded.
"I just... I guess because I know Remus was the last guy you kissed, before that random guy, he was... you know, you loved him" he shrugged. "I kind of feel like I'm in the middle of that."
"Who said I loved him?"
He gave her a look, a look that she didn't like.
A look that said it was obvious.
"You're not in the middle of anything" she shook her head.
"It just feels like I am" he shrugged. "I know we're not together, and I'm not saying I want to be," he cleared up, "but you're much more than a good lay. You're my best friend" he added. "I don't want for him to come back and then us tip toe around one another because we've seen each other naked."
Spencer laughed.
"What! I'm being serious."
She laughed even louder.
"Shut up" he rolled her eyes with a grin.
"Sorry," she finished giggling, "I just- you don't have to worry about any awkwardness between us on my part."
She reached for his hand, "I love you" she smiled.
"I love you too" he nodded. "I didn't say it when you told me, but I do. I love you."
She nodded.
"Besides, I don't know if I can forgive him" she added. "He was mean" she shrugged.
"There will be other people, you know?"
"Can we not talk about that? I'm trying to tell you I want you to kiss me."
He did.
This wasn't like sex.
He was soft, caressing her cheek as he kissed her.
When he finished, he took his body back, leaning against the headboard.
"Feel wanted?" he asked, taking his body back and resting against the headboard.
She sat on top of him, bringing his face to her again.
"You've been holding out on me."
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"What do you want for Christmas?" she asked Sirius through the phone, she was currently shopping.
"You."
She chuckled, "I'm being for real" she traded that in for serious.
"You don't need to get me anything" he assured her.
"I want to get you something" she replied.
"Buy yourself some nice pairs of underwear, I'm sure I'll find pleasure in-"
"Oh- my God! Sirius you can't say things like that when I'm in public" she shook her head.
He chuckled.
"Get me whatever you want" he answered her question. "I'm sure I'll love it."
"If you don't can you pretend you do?"
"No."
"I hate you."
"I know" he laughed.
She hung up and continued to look around, she realized she had to buy a lot of presents.
After shopping for an hour, she went back home and stuck everything in her closet.
"Cer?" Belly asked.
"Oh! Belly you scared me half to death" Spencer chuckled. "What's up?"
"Sorry miss, Belly didn't mean to alarm you- I was wondering if you were going to eat dinner here?"
"Yes, thank you Belly. What are you making?"
"Broccoli soup, masters favorite" she answered.
"Where is Andrew anyway?"
"I don't know, he only said he was going out" Belly answered.
"I didn't know he was working today."
"He's not, but he didn't say where he was going."
"What was he wearing?"
Belly shrugged, "a pullover and khakis."
"Did he put gel in his hair?"
"Yes."
"Oh, God" Spencer sighed.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, just... can you buy some chocolate from honeydukes and firewhiskey?"
Belly nodded before leaving.
Spencer went to the living room, she sat down on the couch as she waited for him.
Poor Andrew.
She knew who he had gone to see.
She wondered if the roles were reversed if she'd go see Remus.
If she knew where he was.
She thought no, then yes.
Her final answer was maybe.
She wondered what would happen.
She wondered that a lot.
Would he apologize? Would it be awkward?
She wondered what Andrew and Eliot were doing. We're they talking or... doing something else.
He's engaged for gods sakes, why can't he leave Andrew alone.
An hour passed before he came back.
7:30pm
He opened the door, standing frozen in place as he saw Spencer on the couch.
"How'd it go?" she asked.
"He invited me to his wedding after we had sex" Andrew answered.
"There's broccoli soup" she frowned.
Andrew nodded, tearing up.
"Oh, Andy" she walked toward him and gave him a tight hug. "I'm so sorry" she shook her head. "You don't deserve this."
A cry escaped him, "I fucking hate my life Spencer" he held onto her. "When will this end already" he shook his head.
"I don't know" she whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Why do I do this to myself."
"You love him" she shrugged. "Most of us would do anything for love."
He gave her a sad chuckle, "always the poet."
"Dinner?" she took her head back.
"Yeah" he nodded, cleaning his face.
Spencer sighed, "you don't deserve this" she shook her head.
"Where'd you go this morning?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.
"You know where I went" she shook her head.
"Yeah, but I like to hear you say it anyway" he walked to the kitchen.
"I went to visit Sirius."
"How'd that go" he asked as he went to grab bowls.
"He kissed me" she answered.
"Kissed you? Has he not kissed you before?"
"No" she shook her head.
"Why?"
"Well... he said it was because of Remus."
"What does he have to do with you guys?"
"Well, you know how they're friends... Sirius doesn't want to be in between me and Remus-"
"A little too late for that don't you think?" he chuckled.
"He's not in between anything" she rolled her eyes.
"You still love him" he noted.
"So?"
"So there's still something" he answered. "It's why you aren't dating Sirius, right?"
"I'm not dating Sirius because I don't want to date. He knows that."
"What if he's falling in love with you, but can't bring himself to tell you because-"
"We're way off topic! We talked and I told him I wanted him to kiss me."
"How was it?"
"Good" she blushed.
"Can I ask you something?" he prompted.
She nodded.
"Why don't you date?"
She sighed, "I don't know" she shrugged. "I guess... I can't see myself opening up to someone again."
Andrew placed their bowls on the table, handing her a spoon.
"Sirius... he already knows me. I don't have to try and pretend I'm something I'm not. Not only that, he's a really good friend. I love him."
"The lines are blurry, don't you think?"
"Sure but... I don't know, there's an understanding."
He nodded, "as long as you're happy."
"Well, I'm not happy happy. He doesn't talk to me about Harry and you know how much I hate when people lie to me" she rolled her eyes. "But he gets me off so, what can I say?"
Andrew chuckled before they started eating.
After a few moments, he started crying again.
"I'm sorry" he shook his head. "I'm being stupid."
"Hey, don't" she squeezed his arm. "You have every right to feel the way you do. Your feelings may not always be logical, but they're always valid. If you feel something, then you feel it."
He took a deep breath as he nodded.
"Your feelings can't be wrong because they're yours. Not Eliot's. Not mine. Not your family's or or your coworkers' or random strangers' you meet in passing. They're yours. And you don't need anyone's permission to feel them."
He put his hand on top of hers, giving it a squeeze.