"I can't even fit all these to-go boxes in the fridge," I say as I start finagling stuff to make room. We ordered enough for a family of ten, and it was a blast just our old road trip days.
"Leave the lava cake out," he says as he pours us each a glass of wine.
"How in the world can you eat another bite?" I say as I hand the box to him. "I'm surprised my dress hasn't popped off."
"What a shame," he says as his eyes roam my body. I feel that familiar rise of heat. "Better have some lava cake then."
"Nice try," I scoff, but I can't resist the bite as he holds the fork to my lips. I close my eyes and moan as I savor the melty chocolate ganache and the rich sponge that soaks it up. "Holy Hell, that's better than sex."
"There ain't a cake on earth that's better than sex," he argues.
"Is too, and I'm about to steal it from you," I say as I yank it out of his hands.
"Sorry, Little Darlin, but no way."
"Way," I retort childishly with a little giggle. I take another bite to ensure it and decide that I am definitely right.
"I'll prove you wrong... someday," he says in a low tone, smirking as his eyes flicker. He grabs the box back from me and leaves with it for the living room. Leaving me with my mouth gaped open like an idiot. So, he's not having 'the talk' with me about what he wants, but he'll tease me to death like this?
How fun.
I shake my head and follow him into the living room. He sits on the couch, and I flop down next to him. As he flips on the television, some house-hunting show is on, and he leaves it as we fall into silence for a bit.
"So... what were you and Oliver talking about in the barn?" He breaks the silence once the cake is gone. "Y'all seemed alright when I got there."
"We only got into some stuff and decided to leave it for the night. There's still a lot to be said," I sigh. "He does feel bad about breaking the promise, but I don't know that he's sorry he did it. In his eyes, I guess he did what he had to do for himself."
"That's crap. He ran away, and for no reason, he had everything, and he threw it away."
"Hunter, I'm not blameless in all of it," I say softly. "He feels terrible about it now, and he is sorry for what it did to me."
"He'd be a lot sorrier if he saw how bad he hurt you," Hunter mutters irritably. "I know you're not blameless, but I also know you didn't do anything that justifies leaving like he did or saying the things he did to you when you found him."
"I know Hunter, and I'm terrified of those conversations and opening those wounds. But at the same time, because of how he left and shut me down when I did find him, I never got any closure, and neither did he. The wounds never healed, and now that he's here, maybe they can."
"I think you do need that," he agrees as he angles his body to face me. "I know how much he always meant to you. Hell, I always assumed I'd be the best man at your wedding while I died inside."
"What?"
He lets out a humorless laugh as he brushes a hair from my face. "When we first met, I thought Olly was your little brother. I saw you through the window talking to him, all animated and laughing, and thought you were the cutest thing I had ever seen. Once I realized you two were this package deal, I tried to forget and be y'all's best friend. Even my ma was like, don't fall for that girl. Everyone in this town says it's gonna be her and Olly."
"I managed to keep it cool, though, until freshman year. It started getting obvious."
"Not to me!" I protest with a laugh.
"Well, to everyone else, it was," he says. "Especially Olly. He confronted me after school, and it wasn't like I was surprised he liked you, too. I figured he'd come to ask me to step aside at some point, and I was always scared of that day. I loved Oliver like a brother; he was my best friend, and I didn't want to lose him over you, but it was bound to happen."
"That must've been scary." I can see him. Hunter, back then, constantly worried about getting me home before dark or biking with Olly if Billy and his gang were around. He always protected both of us so fiercely.
"It was, but I still tried to fight the pact. I knew I would get crushed when you eventually saw Olly like he did you, but if I could have even a few weeks, I wanted it. He was so convincing, though. He kept talking about how there was no way we'd remain friends and all this crap I easily bought back then."
"Oliver confessed this to me," I admit, and Hunter looks surprised. "He won't admit he manipulated you but knows he did."
"Are you angry at him?"
"A little, but he was only fourteen, and he said he was trying to protect his chance with me. In his way, he seems to know it was wrong, but he says he was fighting for us."
"I'll give him credit for that. He was, and I never did and should have," Hunter says. "Instead, I tried to do what Oliver suggested and date another girl that school year and see because if I fell for someone else, maybe I didn't like you as much I thought. It seemed logical enough, and then I saw you dancing with some guy at homecoming, so I asked MaryBeth to dance, and you know the rest."
Wait, so Oliver suggested Hunter see someone else? He told me he hoped Hunter would see someone else. Oliver was always known for being so honest he couldn't lie if he tried... but apparently, there were some lies he could easily tell, and I don't know how I feel about that because he's still kind of telling them at least a little.
"I wasn't mad about the pact, though, Kinz. I went along with it. But that summer, I was done with it. I was ready for our chance. I was willing to risk the heartache, and I was sure you felt it, too. He said least until freshman year was over, and it was over, it was supposed to be our time."
He pauses for a moment as I lean closer, listening intently.
"Then... he called me one day. He jumped right into telling me how he wanted to confess his feelings and just outright tell you he loved you. Lay his cards on the table and see. His exact words were, 'I'm not asking permission, Hunter, but I'd like your blessing. You're my best friend, and this is the girl I've daydreamed about marrying for as long as I can remember."
"Holy crap," I breathe out, my mind spinning, with both Olly's sweet words and the realization that Hunter did want me. He didn't want to reject me.
"If I went for it with you after that, I would've been the biggest tool on the planet. Kinz, I literally couldn't. Not until Olly came home, and I could talk to him in person."
"So, you just ran away?"
"Darlin, all I wanted to do was take you in my arms and kiss you forever, but I couldn't, and if I had stayed in that room one more second, I would've. I had to leave, and I could not be around you after that for a long time, or I knew I couldn't hold it all back."
My cheeks are scarlet again, and I may melt into the couch.
"I can't believe... I thought... "I smack his arm lightly. "Hunter! I was heartbroken over you. I cried for weeks."
Earlier, Brandi asked me about playing the what-ifs out in my head, and I wasn't then, but I will be now.
"So was I, Kinz," he says with a sad smile. "Like you wouldn't believe actually."
"But come fall, when Oliver started seeing Brandi, why didn't you tell me then?"
"Well, I didn't know about them right away. It hurt to be around you, and I assumed you and Olly would be a couple soon, so I started numbing the pain, smoking my ma's pot and drinking whiskey every day. Even before I met Zoe. Once I started partying with her and some of the stoner kids, I even hooked up a couple of times at parties. All I accomplished with all that was making myself feel like I wasn't good enough for you anymore, especially when you started dating the QB and walking around school in a letter jacket."
"I started dating Gabe to get over you," I say.
"Too bad that didn't work out. You'd be sitting in a mansion right now," Hunter teases.
"Yeah, he's something, isn't he?" I say with a fond smile. Gabe became a huge football star, even winning a Superbowl one year. We're Facebook friends, though I doubt he runs his account by himself now.
"When I did find out about Brandi and Olly, I was confused and shocked, and then when I found out he never told you anything, I felt like maybe he lied so that I wouldn't and got pretty pissed."
"That's not why. He saw how hurt I was over you," I explain. "At that point, he thought it would always be you for me and wanted to get over me."
"I get it, I do. I even get Olly calling me and undercutting me. I definitely get wanting to fight for you. But I think the way he went about it was shitty to me. I wouldn't have done that to him," Hunter says. "That being said, I didn't do right by you either. I hurt you and never explained why, and I gave up on us. I didn't fight when I should've, and he did, so I give him credit for that."
I do, too, but it does upset me, and I need to talk to Oliver again about this because it wasn't right, not just for Hunter but for me. I was hurt a lot worse that summer than the dance, and I understand Olly was hurt, too, but he should have told me then. Yes, I would have ended up with Hunter then, but still.
Some of Oliver's later behavior and insecurities are making a lot more sense to me now.
"Where I get pissed is that after all that, he did have you, and he left, and I never would have done that. I'm upset that I stepped aside for him, and I expected him to do right by you, and he didn't when he left you."
"I knew that was the main reason you were angry," I say. "He thinks it's all the other stuff more."
"I'm sure he does."
"You two should talk," I suggest gently.
"Never going to happen," Hunter says. "I'll try and get along with him for your sake, but that's as far as I go."
We'll see about that...
"You alright?" Hunter asks as he carefully studies me.
"Yeah, it's just a lot ... to take in," I admit the air seems charged and heavy again as the realization that even though we weren't going to have 'that talk,' Hunter did just confess feelings to me, and I have no idea what I say or do now.
"You need some time alone after all this, don't you?" Hunter guesses.
That's the benefit of him being my best friend. He knows me no feelings are hurt when I tell him to go away.
"I do," I agree.
"Then I'm off, Darlin. But please don't burn a hole in the rug pacing all night. Everything comes a day at a time. I'm not going anywhere; we have time to figure this out when you're ready, okay?"
"Okay," I say as he helps me up.
I walk him to the door, and he pulls me in for a tight hug before he leaves, and I cling on to him for several minutes.
When the door falls shut, I fall against it, just like I did that night when I was fifteen after the fourth of July.
All this time and I never knew. I was also Hunter's never was.