Author's Note:
This chapter contains another extended dream sequence that references the Super SOLDIER series by Cloud2367 on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/37600675/chapters/93854497
Spoilers ahead if you haven't finished Book 5 of his series, as events in the dream refer to things that happened there. Read the whole series if you can, it's very fun and enjoyable!
— — — — — — —
"So what's the plan?" I asked.
We were all crouching quietly in the hidden cave that Vincent and Yuffie had found behind the reactor and gazing intently down past the pipes and ladders to the huge six-legged monster prowling between us and the way out of the mountain. They had met up with us just as we'd left the reactor and had quickly led us back here.
Cloud's eyes were on the creature below us. "We get the drop on it, Jessie. Think you can make the jump?"
I nodded. "No problem."
"Good," he said, looking at us now. "Tifa, Yuffie, Vincent, go down there and get its attention. As soon as it's distracted, Jessie and I'll drop in and hit it from above. With luck, that should keep it off balance and off guard long enough for us to finish it off."
With that settled, Cloud and I got into position while the others all made their way stealthily down to the bottom of the chamber. I pulled out my blaze talons but didn't light them yet. Doing that now would've given us away. The materia guardian's hearing wasn't as good as that of some other monsters, but its eyesight was incredibly acute, with a wide field of vision that would make it hard for anyone to take it by surprise. As Cloud and I crouched by the edge of the topmost level, we watched the others quickly charge toward the monster.
The materia guardian took the bait, turning to meet the attack just as we'd planned. Tifa led the way, fists and feet flying, while Yuffie and Vincent circled around it from opposite sides and struck at it with their weapons again and again. The cave erupted with the sounds of gunfire, rushing footsteps, heavy blows, a spinning shuriken, and the monster's snarling yell as it made the ground shake with every step it took. Sharp claws swung hard and fast, driving the others back.
"Now?" I glanced at Cloud.
He nodded, swords ready. "Now!"
Side by side, we jumped, flipping forward in midair and spinning downward toward the monster below. Lighting my weapons in midair, I stabbed them into the materia guardian's back as Cloud did the same, both of us landing on it at the same time. We slashed furiously and did our best not to get thrown off as we fought. At the same time, Tifa and the others kept up the assault on all sides.
"Jessie, the tails!" Cloud shouted.
I whipped my head around just as one of the spiky things suddenly struck at me like a whip, slamming me in the chest. I flew through the air with a gasp as pain erupted inside me, but I managed to get my feet under me and landed on the ground in a crouch. Cloud roared, quickly hacking off the other tail in a furious double slash, and I went back to work, dodging the monster's stabbing forelegs and cutting at it with my blaze talons. Then I focused on my fire materia. But instead of hurting the materia guardian, the flames actually healed it.
"Shit!" I swore, diving aside just as the monster jabbed at me again. "It absorbs fire, guys! Gotta try something else!"
Yuffie brandished her shuriken. "On it! Don't let up!"
With that, she imbued her weapon with ice ninjitsu magic, the tips glowing pale blue with frost, and hurled it at the monster while darting back and forth amidst puffs of smoke, ducking and dodging attacks left and right. Tifa drove her mythril claws into the materia guardian's hide again and again, sliding quickly between its legs to reach its vulnerable underside. It roared in pain, but she kept up her assault while Vincent shot some of its many eyes out with Cerberus.
"We've got it! We've—" Tifa began.
But then the materia guardian slammed itself down on her with a snarl, crushing her and shoving her across the cave floor. It followed in a raging charge, furiously buffeting her with its thick forelegs and claws again and again despite all our efforts to slow it down. Sparkles of blue and green healing energy surrounded it as well, closing up some of the injuries we'd inflicted. I rushed to Tifa's side.
"Tifa!" I focused on the Restore materia Red had returned to me in the morning before we'd left. "Just hold on!"
Cloud dropped to the floor between us and monster, slashing hard at it again and again as Yuffie and Vincent hit it from the sides to keep it busy. Knowing they all had my back, I knelt next to Tifa and cast the spell. She was conscious but groaning in pain as she lay on the floor in a crumpled heap. The magic, much like what the materia guardian had used, healed some of her lesser injuries, and her cuts and bruises began to fade after a moment as she finally relaxed.
"Thanks, Jessie," she said as I helped her to her feet.
I smiled. "Anytime. Ready to go kick some more ass?"
Tifa pumped her fist. "You know it!"
Just as we started to move, though, the materia guardian suddenly began charging up some kind of blast, sparks rising from its body. I felt my skin tingling as the air filled with current, and as the others quickly backed away from the creature, I hit the phoenix insignia on my belt to activate the energy barrier and dropped to one knee.
"Take cover!" Cloud ordered.
There wasn't much, but we did what we could. And as I knelt there with my arms crossed in front of my face and Tifa crouched by my side in the same way, the monster unleashed a massive electrical storm that tore through the cave. Sizzling blue and yellow bolts of lightning struck everywhere, shattering rock and blasting pipes, and I stayed as close to Tifa as possible, hoping that my suit's energy barrier would protect her as well as me. A sudden flare of yellow light erupted from Tifa's mythril armlet where she had the Enemy Skill materia.
Amidst the bursts of electricity, I saw Cloud ducking behind one of the bottom ladders under the generator where the lighting couldn't get to him. Yuffie was nearby, but I couldn't find Vincent at first. Tifa took my arm and pointed just seconds later, though.
"Over there!" she said, having to raise her voice to be heard.
"I see him!" I nodded.
Vincent was in the far corner, his bronze claw in front of him to try and ward off the blazing bolts, but one of them struck him in the chest. He doubled over, a faint grunt the only sound he made, and when the storm finally dissipated seconds later, Tifa and I started to run to him. But we'd only gone a few steps before we froze in shock.
In a flash of violet light, Vincent's human form suddenly vanished. In its place rose a hulking, bestial thing seven feet tall on two powerful legs. It was covered in purple fur, had a face like a wolf, sharp claws on his hands and feet, horns on his head, and fierce yellow eyes. His cloak, red and tattered, was wrapped around his waist, and his shoulders and chest were covered in some kind of armor plating.
With a loud roar, Vincent charged at the materia guardian, clawed fists and feat tearing right through its thick hide and leaving long, deep gouges with every hit. Tifa and I got moving again, taking advantage of the opportunity to strike at the monster ourselves while Yuffie slashed it over and over with her shuriken and Cloud jumped back on top of it and stabbed both his swords into its spine. Vincent snarled, grabbed its thin neck, and twisted it until it snapped, and with a final shudder, the materia guardian finally collapsed and lay still.
As the dust settled and sudden quiet filled the air, the rest of us all looked curiously at Vincent. With another flash of violet light, he went back to his human form, brushing off his sleeves and looking none the worse for wear. He calmly holstered Cerberus and walked over to us as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
"So that's what you meant," Cloud said.
Tifa's gaze was uneasy. "Hojo did this to you, Vincent?"
He nodded. "Yes. Sorry if I startled you."
"Are you... still in control of yourself when you change like that?" I wondered, hating to even ask but needing to be sure.
"I am," Vincent assured us. "I won't endanger any of you."
Cloud shouldered his swords. "Good enough for me."
I felt the same way as I switched off my weapons and tucked them back into their holsters. "Yeah. I trust you, Vincent."
"Same," Tifa agreed, smiling gently.
"That's pretty cool, Vince!" Yuffie grinned. "Can you whip him out whenever you want or does it take a while?"
He strode toward the cave exit. "Only when in need."
We followed him outside, the cold mountain air nipping eagerly at us as soon as we did. There was a trail that wound downward from the ridge we were on, and we made our way along it for a while, not saying much as we walked. We were tired from the battle, and it would take us a few hours to reach the grassy plains at the base of the slope, but none of us wanted to stop just yet. So we kept going.
The land gradually became less barren as we traveled further down the mountain. Grass peeked up from between the rocks here and there, and shrubs dotted the lower slopes. I was glad to see it, to know that at least some life still thrived here in spite of the reactor near the summit, and I hoped that more would return someday.
We were about halfway to the plains when I stumbled to a halt and doubled over with a gasp as what felt like a wave of fire suddenly swept over me. My skin sizzled, and I felt strangely hot. A mix of sadness and satisfaction filled me, and I wasn't sure if they were my own feelings or those of someone else. Then, almost as soon as they had appeared, the sensations were gone along with the stinging pain.
"Jessie? You okay?" Cloud asked.
I nodded as he looked worriedly at me. "Yeah, Cloud. I'm fine. Not sure what happened, though. It felt like..."
Tifa's gaze was just as anxious. "Like what?"
"Like someone just walked on my grave..." I shivered.
"Need a minute?" Vincent said.
I shook my head. "No, I'll be fine. Thanks, though. Let's get a little further down the mountain before we call it day."
So we went on, and it wasn't until later, when the sun was hanging low in the western sky to our left, that we finally stopped for the night. We made camp on a wide, grassy bluff that overlooked the plains lying several hundred feet below us, and looming darkly behind us were the rocky northern slopes of Mt. Nibel. After setting up the tents, we got a fire going and had dinner from the supplies we'd brought with us from the buggy. I did the cooking this time, and just as I'd promised back in Corel, I made a few nice pizzas for everyone.
It was a bit different doing it over a campfire instead of in an oven, but they turned out well, and we were all famished after the long walk, the fight with the materia guardian, and everything that had happened in the reactor. The marshmallows afterward were a nice treat. Vincent passed on them, but the rest of us had our fill, even Cloud. I loved that and couldn't resist teasing him a little about it.
We talked into the night, just relaxing for a little while and making plans for the next day. Eventually, though, we went to bed. Cloud took the first watch, and as I stood up, I smiled, gave him a little peck on the cheek, wished him goodnight, and followed Tifa and Yuffie inside the tent we were sharing while Vincent went into the other one. Almost as soon as I crawled into my bedroll, I was asleep.
Sometime later, I found myself still in my tent but somehow alone. At first, I thought I had woken up and the others had just gone outside, but then, as I sat up, I noticed that same otherworldly feeling about my surroundings I'd had in that strange dream in Costa del Sol. They were lighter, softer, almost surreal. When I stood up and went back outside, I wasn't surprised to see that no one was there.
So I was dreaming again. It was still night, in a way, although there was enough light for me to see by. And there, in the moon's soft glow, I saw something small, bright, and delicate. It was a single rose, growing near the edge of the bluff, but like none I'd ever seen before. And I was positive it hadn't been there in the waking world. Its petals shimmered and pulsed in a rainbow mix of shifting colors.
I was just starting to walk toward it when I heard someone coming up the rocky path to my right leading further down the slope. I turned to see a girl about my age slowly making her way toward me, her steps cautious and uncertain as if she didn't know how she'd gotten here. Her hair was blonde with pink highlights on the ends and was fastened into a ponytail a lot like the one I used to wear. On her sleeveless black vest was a logo I didn't recognize, and her black shorts and tough boots that went up to her thighs highlighted her figure.
Her baby blue eyes, glowing with mako, widened when she finally saw me. "Mom!? Is that really you!?"
I blinked. "What? I—"
But before I could finish, she rushed into my arms, barely holding back tears. What was going on? I didn't have any kids and wasn't nearly old enough for this girl to be my daughter, but when I took a long look at her face, I gasped in disbelief at the unmistakable resemblance to my own. But she also looked a bit like Cloud, too.
"Am I dreaming?" she wondered. "One minute I was laying down on the ship to rest just after we'd launched, and the next I found myself alone in this place. This is... Mt. Nibel, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but... I don't have any kids yet," I told her.
Understanding suddenly dawned on her. "You're her from another timeline, aren't you? Then you don't know..."
"What's your name?" I asked gently.
"Claudia," she replied, still holding onto me. "Claudia Strife."
I smiled. "So, in your variant, Cloud and I... had you?"
"Yeah," Claudia said, smiling back at me. "I guess it'd be a few years from now for you. But for me, that was over twenty years ago. You and Dad loved each other like no one else. And me. I haven't told them, but I'm proud... very proud... to be their daughter."
"Seems you turned out alright," I said, embracing her. Even though she wasn't mine by birth, I couldn't deny the rush of maternal affection that suddenly swept through me. I smirked at her. "Guess I did a pretty good job, didn't I? Gives me hope for the future."
She chuckled. "Yeah. You and Dad are the best."
"Well, have a seat here and tell me about where you come from," I told her. "I want to know all about it. And you."
"Sure, I'd... I'd really like that," Claudia beamed.
There was a deep sadness in her eyes, though, and as she sat down with me on the grass, I could tell that something was wrong. But I was sure she'd bring it up on her own sooner or later, so I listened patiently to her stories of life in her world. Time didn't seem to exist here in this place, this dream that was more than what it seemed.
"Wait, Cloud actually let you paint his nails when you were a kid?" I laughed. "And he had pretend tea parties with you, too? I'm so gonna remember that! Wow! That is too funny!"
Claudia grinned. "Don't let it get around that I used to do stuff like that, though. I've got a bit of an image to maintain."
I winked. "Tough girl, huh? Must get that from your dad."
"He taught me how to fight," she nodded. "Both of you did, really. Well, that is, him and Mom. What do I call you?"
"Mom's fine with me," I assured her. "Seems that's kinda what I am, in a weird sort of way. If you don't mind."
She hugged me again. "Not at all... Mom."
We talked some more, and Claudia told me of all the struggles she and her friends and gone through. Terrible experiments, intense battles against brutal monsters like nothing I'd ever seen, powers both she and her parents there had that went beyond anything Shinra had ever done here, and more. It was fascinating to hear, and although she hid it well, I could see that she was overwhelmed by it all.
"Your world sounds pretty crazy, Claudia," I chuckled softly, trying keep things light and let her go at her own pace. "Super SOLDIERs, all those colorful auras... never lets up, does it?"
She smiled wearily, but then it faded. "Doesn't seem to, no. The last few years, Mom, it's been one struggle after another. And I'm tired of it all. At least now it's over and I can have some kind of a normal life. But first, I've gotta save you and bring you back."
I laid a hand on her shoulder. "You mean the other me?"
"Yeah..." Claudia sighed.
"What happened?" I asked softly.
Her voice thick with grief, Claudia looked at me. "She... she died. Took our enemy with her, but still... she's gone. Mom sacrificed herself to save us all and bring back the friends we lost."
Then she tenderly held a red materia orb hanging around her neck by a fine chain. It glowed warmly in the soft light of the dream. And as I looked at it, I suddenly understood what had happened to me earlier in the day, those strange sensations that had swept over me. Without a word, I took Claudia in my arms, knowing all too well exactly what she was going through. I'd been there myself with my own mom, and I still miss her a lot even now. Claudia held back at first, still being tough like she so often was, but then she finally broke down.
I held her as she wept. "You know, Claudia, I think... I felt it when she died. Earlier today, for just a moment."
"You did?" she gazed at me in wonder, her cheeks wet.
"Yeah," I nodded. "It was strange, I felt a burning sensation like an explosion, but also happiness. I guess that must've been what she felt in her last... well, when it happened. I'm so sorry..."
Claudia wiped her eyes. "Thanks. Thought I'd finished crying, but I guess not. I just... I miss her so much."
"I know, hon," I murmured. "Believe me, I know. I actually met her once, in a dream kinda like this. I was hurting inside, feeling so lost, so unsure of myself, but she really helped me."
"What's your world like?" she asked. "Are you and Dad... have you two gotten together here like you did in mine?"
I smiled. "We're working on it. Got us a nice date planned."
Claudia laughed. "I'm glad. Tell me about it."
So I did, sharing with her some of what I was thinking of doing on my date with Cloud at the Gold Saucer as well as a little about my own journey, how he and I had met and grown close, our travels all the way from Midgar to here, and the friends we'd made.
"Your world sounds a lot calmer than mine," Claudia said. "Full of danger, of course, but nothing like ours. I like it."
"You're welcome to visit anytime," I assured her.
She nodded. "Same to you, Mom. But like I said, I've gotta save you first, back home. I just wish I knew where to start looking for all those flowers I'm supposed to gather. Where do I even start?"
My eyes widened. "Flowers?"
"Yeah," Claudia said. "Why do you ask?"
"I think I know why you're here," I breathed, knowing I was right. I stood up. "Come on, I've gotta show you something."
She joined me. "What is it?"
"This," I led her to the strange multicolored flower I'd found earlier and gently picked it up. "Here, Claudia. Take it."
Her jaw dropped. "It's beautiful..."
As she gently picked it up from the ground and held it by the stem, Claudia gazed at the flower in rapt fascination. The glow of its shifting colors softly illuminated her face in the pale, surreal light of the dream, and in it I saw wonder, determination, and hope.
"Mom..." she turned to me, her eyes shining. "Thank you."
"Glad I could help," I smiled.
Then a familiar, cheerful voice spoke again, one I'd been hoping to hear again. "Hey, there! Looks like you found it!"
Claudia and I turned to see the other me walking along the edge of the bluff toward us, Materia at her side. Blond hair, green eyes, a black SOLDIER uniform made for a woman. Just like in the first dream. She waved at us, and Claudia rushed over, her eyes damp, and wrapped her arms tightly around her mom with a choked sob.
"Mom! It's you, isn't it?" she gasped.
"Yeah, baby, it's me," my other self assured her, fondly stroking her hair as she spoke. "I'm here. Always by your side."
Claudia clung to her as if she might disappear at any moment. "I'm so glad to see you! I miss you so much, and I've got a lot to tell you. But how can you be here? I thought you were..."
"I am," the other me touched the materia orb Claudia wore. "But in dreams, I can reach out to you, talk with you like I am right now. Even help you sometimes. That's actually how you got here."
"You did this?" Claudia blinked.
The other me glanced at Materia, then smirked at Claudia. "Had a little help, but yeah. You didn't really think you were gonna be looking for a bunch of ordinary everyday flowers, did ya?"
She laughed sheepishly. "Well, actually... I kinda did."
"I guess that was my fault for not explaining things better," Materia chuckled warmly. "I'll tell you and the others what I know once you've woken up and we've had a chance to talk."
"It's good to see you again," I told my other self. I couldn't hide the sadness I felt for her, though. "Claudia told me what happened. And... I felt it when you died. I'm really sorry."
She nodded. "Thanks. Had to be done. I don't regret it. I'm glad to see you and Claudia getting along, though. I was hoping you would. Be there for her, would you? If you two are ever able to meet in the waking world, that is. I can't anymore, at least for now."
"I will," I promised.
Claudia smiled at me. "Thanks, Mom. I hope we do get the chance to meet like that one day. I'm glad you're here."
I grinned. "Me too, Claudia."
"So, about the flowers..." she wondered, gazing at the one she held. "What do they do? I've never seen one like it."
"This one is called a dream rose," Materia explained. "It's full of life energy, pulsing with it, and that energy can be harnessed. But by itself, it isn't enough. You'll need to find others. Each is unique, each has this life energy stored within it, almost like a reservoir."
Claudia's eyes blazed with excitement. "And if I can find enough of them, I can use that energy to bring Mom back?"
"Yes," Materia replied. "But you'll need help to bring it all together. Don't worry, I'll tell you what to do when the time comes. For now, just concentrate on finding as many flowers as you can. They won't be easy to locate, but they're also attuned to each other. Use this one as a guide, Claudia. It will help you locate the others."
"I'll still have it when I wake up?" she asked.
The other me pointed at the flower. "Yep. Keep it close."
Claudia gazed at it. "Always."
"Then I think it's time for you to go, Claudia," Materia said gently. Your mother and I have things to discuss with Jessie about her journey, things she needs to know. Go on now, it'll be alright."
"I want to help her," Claudia insisted. "She's my mom, too."
I smiled gratefully. "I appreciate it, but you've got enough to worry about as it is. And somehow, I don't think you'd be allowed to interfere with things here. Am I right about that, Materia?"
She nodded. "Yes. This variant's fate is for you to decide. And your friends. We can't intervene, at least not directly."
"Alright," Claudia sighed. "I guess that makes sense."
I hugged her. "Bye, Claudia. It was really good to meet you and get to know you. Take care of yourself, okay?"
She embraced me just as tightly. "I will, Mom. Thank you so much, for everything. I won't ever forget you. And... if you and Dad ever have kids here, tell them about their big sister, would you?"
"Definitely," I smiled. "That's a promise. And I hope that boyfriend of yours gets off his ass and asks you to marry him. You guys deserve it after everything you've been through together."
Claudia blushed. "He'd better!"
"Oh, I'll make sure he does," my other self winked.
"Mom..." Claudia murmured, sinking into her arms again.
The other me kissed the top of her head. "I know, baby. I know. I'm here, though. You know where to find me."
"Yeah," Claudia said, reluctantly letting go. "I'm ready. And I'll save you, no matter how long it takes. I know what to do to bring you back, Mom. And I'm not gonna rest until I succeed."
"Don't forget to live in the meantime," my other self reminded her. "It's not good to grieve for too long. Enjoy your friends, Claudia. Look after your dad and tell him I love him."
She nodded. "I will. I love you, Mom."
"Love you, too, baby," the other me touched her cheek.
"Good luck, Claudia," I told her.
She smiled. "You too. Oh, here! Take these with you, okay? A little memento of our time together. I hope you like them."
Taking off her studded earrings, she put them in my hand, folding my fingers over them. They were round like the green ones Madam M had given me, but made of mythril silver. I hugged her one more time, glad for the gift and knowing how valuable they were.
"They're beautiful," I said as I held her for a moment. "Thank you. Be careful, and stay safe, alright? I love you."
"I love you, too," Claudia's embrace tightened.
Then we let go of each other, and she stepped back, a cocky smirk on her face that was so like Cloud's I almost laughed. Materia lifted her staff, and in a soft, slow flare of white light, Claudia vanished from the dream. No doubt she was waking up now, back in her own variant and ready to begin her long quest to save her mother.
"Will she be okay?" I asked.
The other me nodded. "Oh, yeah. Claudia's as tough as they come. She'll be fine. And Materia and I'll look out for her."
"Then she's in good hands," I grinned.
"You seem happier than when we first me," Materia noted.
I couldn't really deny it. "Yeah. I was finally able to put a few things behind me that had been tearing me up inside for a long time. I feel... lighter, you know? Still scared of what's ahead and what's happening to me, but the past isn't holding me back so much anymore."
"Good!" the other me beamed. "I'm glad for ya."
"As am I," Materia agreed. "But you mustn't grow complacent. The hardest and most difficult part of your journey is yet before you, Jessie. It will begin very soon, at the old temple."
I blinked. "You mean the temple of the Ancients?"
"Yes," she said. "Once you go there, nothing will be the same again. You'll have to do something you don't want to do, make a choice you've been avoiding for a long time now. And... to protect one person who is close to you, you'll have to confront another."
"What...?" I stared at her, a chill running up my spine.
My other self sighed. "That's all we can tell you, I'm afraid. So keep your eyes open. Things are about to get rough, and at times you might not see any way out, but remember, the night is darkest just before the dawn. So don't give up, even when things seem hopeless."
I nodded. "I won't. I'll keep on going. But I've gotta know... what's happening to me? Am I gonna lose myself? Will I eventually turn into her, like I saw in the mirror? Into... into Jenova?"
"Not exactly," the other me said.
"Jenova is... reproducing," Materia explained.
I shivered, suddenly uneasy. "But I thought she did that whenever parts of her were split off from the source..."
"No," Materia shook her head. "Those fragments, though separate, are still uniquely her. What she is attempting to do through you is very different, however. Jenova seeks to create another like herself. A second being of her own kind to further her consumption of the planet and all its variants. She has no further use for Sephiroth."
"I think... he knows," I murmured. "At least some of it. Before I left Midgar, Sephiroth taunted me, said something was devouring me from the inside. Phoenix told me the same thing later at Fort Condor. This is what they meant, isn't it? What I'm becoming..."
"Yes, it is," Materia confirmed, her eyes kind but uneasy. "I've been doing all I can to slow the process to give you more time, but I'm afraid it can't be stopped unless Jenova is destroyed."
"Just one Jenova-type being all but wiped out the Cetra, devastated the planet, and nearly destroyed it," my other self added. "Imagine how much damage two of them could do. Not just here in your variant, but in all of them, including mine and Claudia's. I know she'd help you in a heartbeat if we asked her to, but she's already got a lot going on, and it's your place to look after and guard your world."
I nodded. "It'd be great to have her, but... I understand."
"One other thing," she went on, her gaze suddenly intense. "There's more out there than just Sephiroth and Jenova. Watch out for shadows. They move when you're not looking at them."
"She waits within them, biding her time," Materia warned. "But for now, Jessie, just focus on the matter at hand. The rest will come when it is meant to. Remember that we're always here for you."
"How do you know all this?" I wondered.
She smirked ever so slightly. "I'm a goddess. Work it out."
I glanced at my other self. "Is she like this where you're from?"
"She acts more human, actually," she replied. "More like us. I guess it helps us to be more comfortable with her. Where I come from, there are what seems like a lot of deities, but really..."
"They're all me," Materia finished. "Different faces, different names and voices and personalities, but I am the light behind them all. As you may remember, I have another name. One you know."
I did. "Minerva..."
"You must wake now," she said. "But don't worry, Jessie. We'll meet again one day, in another dream, another place."
"Remember that nice future we showed you," my other self added. "Hold onto that, even when it seems like everything's falling apart, and you'll make it. Won't be easy, but you can do it. I've done all I can. Now it's up to you. Remember, all our worlds are in danger. And that means Claudia is, too. Even if she doesn't know it."
I nodded, determined to protect her. "I'll save her, don't you worry. Just like she'll save you. Leave it to me."
The other me smiled. "You'll make a good mom someday."
"Seems you're proof of that," I agreed.
"Time to go, Jessie," Materia told me, her long golden hair flowing gracefully around her shoulders. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah, but... what are you really?" I wondered.
She lifted her staff. "Everything..."
Light welled forth from it, just as it had when Claudia had left, but it seemed to be coming from Materia herself as well this time. She was glowing pure white, her soft gown rippling in an unseen breeze, and as the light grew, it filled more than the dream. It seemed to flow into my very being, soothing and soft, but powerful. And just before I woke up, I thought I saw Materia—that is, Minerva—shift into something more than human, something deep, vast, and timeless with what looked like wings of pure energy and shining, pulsing white light.
When I opened my eyes, I was back in my bedroll inside the tent I was sharing with Tifa and Yuffie. It was still dark outside, and I looked up to see Cloud gently shaking me awake. I smiled up at him, thinking of what we might still have together and of Claudia, our daughter from another variant. But I didn't know how to tell him, not about her or the rest of what I'd learned and experienced in the dream. I still needed to think about it and process it all in my mind.
"Time for your watch," Cloud whispered. "Sleep well?"
"Always do when you're here," I smirked.
He smiled faintly. "I'm still your bodyguard."
"Lucky me," I quipped.
After Cloud left the tent, I slowly opened my right hand and saw that the mythril silver earrings Claudia had given me were still grasped in my fingers. I took off my green ones, tucked them carefully into my belt pouch, and put Claudia's on. They felt good as I stood up and went quietly outside to start my turn on watch.
Cloud had already gone into the tent he was sharing with Vincent, so I was alone when I settled in by the smoldering remains of the fire. I was glad for that, though. I needed a chance to think about my dream, the things I'd learned and what I had to do. So I did, mulling it all over in my mind as my eyes found the spot near the edge of the bluff where Claudia and I had sat together and talked.
Nothing was there now, of course. Just grass and some rocks. But I didn't doubt the dream. I moved to sit where we'd been, thinking of her for a while and liking what I'd seen and heard. It was nice to know that, somewhere out there in another timeline's future, I had a strong, brave, and caring daughter. I was glad I'd been able to help her with her quest and get to know her a little, and I decided that I would tell Cloud about her sooner or later, once I figured out how.
Then my mind went inevitably back to my own situation and what was happening to me. As I sat there in the last hours before dawn, I felt a chill emptiness deep in my chest and a dark, malicious edge lingering at the very back of my thoughts. Small for now, but growing, slowly but surely. I realized then it had been there for a while now, weeks even, I'd just overlooked it because it had been so faint at first and so much else had been going on. But here in the quiet and stillness of early morning, I couldn't deny it. I was losing myself, bit by bit.
Despite Vincent's assurance the other night that it would be better if I stayed with everyone even though Jenova was slowly changing me, I was more than a little tempted to sneak off by myself while he and the others were still asleep and not come back. I didn't want to hurt anyone and become their enemy, another Jenova. I thought maybe it would be easier for everyone if I left and hunted her down on my own. That way, I wouldn't endanger them and do something I'd regret.
I sat there in the grass at the edge of the bluff undecided for hours, torn between what I wanted and what I felt I had to do, my eyes on the plains in the distance below. There was a small town, its lights bright in the lightening sky, near the horizon, and I figured I could make it there if I left now and hitched a ride from one of the few cars out on the road at this time of night. Someone would give a lonely girl a ride. My mind made up, I got to my feet, intending to head out.
It was then that I saw it. An eagle, its feathers a bright and brilliant white, was circling overhead, and after a moment, it landed lightly atop a nearby slab of gray rock rising up from the grass a little further down the bluff. It stared at me, its eyes strangely familiar, and I found myself moving slowly toward it and realized with a start that the eagle was the first real animal I'd seen on Mt. Nibel. Where had it come from? In the midst of my curiosity, I forgot all about leaving.
As I walked toward the strange but beautiful bird one cautious step at a time, my hand outstretched, I felt like it was watching me, looking not just at me but into me, as if it knew me somehow. The rational part of my mind was wondering what the hell I was doing trying to touch a wild animal that could easily tear my fingers off, but my feet seemed to move almost on their own. I was more fascinated than afraid. Sure, the eagle was untamed, but I knew instinctively that it was also good. Like Phoenix, in a way. So close now, only inches away...
The eagle hadn't moved the entire time, but as soon as I was within reach, it rose back up into the air with a soft fluttering of its wings. As I watched it fly away to the north over the plains, I heard one of the tent flaps open behind me. Looked like the others were awake. So much for running away. I wondered if that had been the eagle's intent all along. It was a thought I found I couldn't dismiss. I was also a little disappointed that I hadn't been able to touch it. But then I noticed a feather, soft and white, laying on the rock as if it had been left for me.
Smiling, I picked it up and gazed at it for a moment, not answering Cloud's murmured greeting from behind me just yet or Yuffie yawning sleepily and grumbling for breakfast. My attention was on the feather. I couldn't believe how soft it was, and as I held it carefully in my hand, I felt some of my fear and anxiety fade, as well as my desire to leave. My heart more at peace than it had been since I'd woken up, I started to go to the others. But halfway there, I froze, gasping as I suddenly realized why the eagle's eyes had seemed so familiar.
They were Materia's eyes.