Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island... The eleven surviving campers were put through Master Chief Hatchet's brutal boot camp. Duncan was the first to be sent to the brig by Major Harshines for disorderly conduct. Shocker. But what was a surprise was when by-the-book Courtney smuggled food to P.O.W. Duncan and Miss popular. Kasumi. The two proceeded to pull a B&E to steal some PB&J and ended up K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Hoo. Leshawna won her stripes for the Gophers and the Bass smelt something fishy when Courtney was suddenly voted off. Confession cams revealed that it was Harold who tampered with the votes to get back at Duncan for torturing him. That seems a bit unfair, I mean, hello? He's a bully. That's what they do. Birds gotta fly, fishes gotta swim, dude. Let a playa play. This week the campers are pushed to be extreme. Who will crack under the pressure? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Island!
Intro_
The episode begins with a bear sneaking into the storage and stealing some of the marshmallows while the campers are sleeping. Then a flies overhead and wakes them up. The plane turns out to be piloted by Chris.
Chris: Incoming!
Geoff: Hit the deck!
Gwen, Harold, Leshawna, and Owen: [screaming]
Chris: Yes! I can't wait to get my pilot's license!
[crashes into the storage and screaming the bear]
[wheels screech]
Chris: Just flexing your muscles for today's [through megaphone] Extreme sports challenge! [echoes]
Gwen: Ugh... It's too early for this.
Chris: This week, you'll participate in three challenges. First up, [through megaphone] Extreme sofa bed skydiving! Contestants will plummet, uh... Skydive to a waiting sofa bed target below.
[sproing]
Chef: [muffled screaming]
Chris: Of course, you'll be skydiving from five thousand feet. And using these.
Campers: [gasp]
Chris: Our lucky contestants are Trent and Kasumi.
Trent: Sure. Why not? You know what they say on Blackcomb Mountain, bro. "Best glimpse of heaven's on the way into hell." Let's do this.
Kasumi: Yeah. Bring it on. I've always wanted to skydive.
Chris: Not so fast. Because the second challenge of the day is... [through megaphone] Extreme rodeo moose riding! Contestants will rodeo ride the great Canadian bucking moose for eight seconds or get hooved into a giant pile of socks from the lost-and-found.
Leshawna: That stink pile ain't nothing but laundry day back home.
Chris: It's your lucky day, Leshawna. You're riding for Gophers. And Geoff, you'll ride for Bass.
Geoff: Yeah!
Owen: He doesn't look too bucky to me. Hi, beautiful.
[Moose whacks Owen]
Chris: [through megaphone] And the final challenge... Extreme sea doo waterskiing!
Chris: [through megaphone] Contestants will waterski a race course grabbing as many flags as they can before crossing the finish line. While a member from the opposing team tries to deceive you.
Heather: How can we waterski without water?
Chris: [through megaphone] It's really hard. Check it out.
[sea doo whirrs]
Chef: [screams]
Chris: [through megaphone] [laughs] Awesome! Harold, you'll ski for Killer Bass.
Harold: Sweet!
Chris: And Lindsay for the Screaming Gophers.
Lindsay: Kewl! I can model my new bikini!
Chris: [through megaphone] Now for the cool swag! Whoever scores the most challenges gets bragging rights for the night, saves their butts from elimination and wins a tricked out Multi Massage Mobile Shower.
[harp plays]
[everyone gasps]
Heather: Can it be?
Chris: Oh, it be.
Owen: [smacks] Ah, a shower? How 'bout something good?
Heather: Listen to me, you marshmallow eating goof! We are going to win that shower if it's the last thing we do, got it?
Owen: [gags and chokes]
Heather: Eh! Ow!
Chris: Okay, gang. Chow for breaky, then report back in twenty minutes for... [through megaphone] The extreme sports challenge!
[plane buzzes off]
At the mess hall-
Kasumi (goes up to Gwen and Bridgette) girls look what I found (shows them a love haiku )
Gwen: Check it out. It's a corny haiku poem.
Bridgette: Whoa. Some dude's crushing big time. It's probably for you.
Gwen: Really? I was gonna say it was for you. Kasumi.
Kasumi: oh please, none of the guys are my type...but you girls have fun figuring that out.(walks out)
Bridgette: maybe its Trent , he is totally crunching on you. I've seen the way he always scams an extra muffin for you.
Gwen: Yeah, but Geoff is so into you. Remember at the dock yesterday how he tried to get your attention?
(Flashback )
dreamy music]
(Geoff trying to romance Brigdette but fails)
[crash]
Geoff: Ah!
(End of Flashback)
Bridgette and Gwen: [laughing]
Gwen: Then again, Geoff probably couldn't pronounce haiku, let alone write one.
Bridgette: What's that supposed to mean?
Gwen: Nothing. He's just not exactly the scholarly type.
Bridgette: Oh, and I suppose Trent is busy boning up on his Neitzche in his spare time?
Gwen: I think Trent is more Neitzche than Geoff is haiku-y
Bridgette: "Haiku-y?" [scoffs] Well, at least Geoff isn't a poser. Trent probably doesn't even write his own songs.
Bridgette and Gwen: [grunting]
[rip]
Gwen: [gasps] Tell you what, Betty. I'll bet you two nights dessert that the poem was for me.
Bridgette: Oh, I'm up for that. Down with that. Whatever. You're on!
_At the first challenge,_
Chris: Now, remember! Ground teams can wheelie the sofa beds wherever they want in order to help their comrade with the landing.
Heather: Sayonara, Trent. I hope your attempts to impress weird goth girl are worth the chalk outline.( shows a dead body chalk outline on the ground)
Gwen: Uh, did you ever think that maybe Trent's doing this as a form of self-expression? Like haiku? Or... Not.
(Static)
Gwen [confessional] Okay, so it wasn't my most subtle sleuthing moment.
(Static)
Kasumi[confessional] seriously gwen...*facepalm *
(Static)[real time]
[plane buzzing]
Chris: If you could just fill these out...!
Kasumi: But we already signed insurance forms at the beginning of the show!
Chris: Yeah! But these are for organ donation! I have this cool cannibal challenge I wanna pitch to the producers, and this'll go a long way toward budgeting free props! Here comes the drop, boys!
Trent: I don't see the drop zone!
Heather and Leshawna: [grunts]
Heather: Push!
Leshawna: Why is this thing so heavy?
Owen: [snoring](sleeping on the sofa bed)
Gwen, Leshawna, and Lindsay: [grunting]
Heather: Come on, you big tub of lard, move!
Gwen: [sighs] Any other bright ideas?
Owen: [groaning]
Gwen: At least it'll be a soft landing.(put x mark on his butt)
-Meanwhile up in the air-
Trent: Uh, I don't think I can do this, man!
Kasumi: Don't worry, trent. I'm sure you'll hit the mattress.(accidentally knocked him out the plane)
Trent: [screams]
Kasumi: Oh ..oopsie.
Trent: [continues screaming] [grunt](missed and landed on the ground in a crater)
Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Lindsay: [gasp]
Gwen: Trent?
Trent: [muffled groaning]
Kasumi: ok let's do this (jumps out) Woohoo.!! This is awesome (pulls cord and parachute comes out.)
Bridgette: You know what's really romantic?
Geoff: Uh, writing someone's name in the snow with your pee?
Bridgette: Uh, actually I was thinking more of the written word.
Geoff: Oh! You mean like a tattoo? Haha yeah. I've got one on my butt, wanna see?
Dj: guys look its Kasumi
Kasumi (giggling her way down)
Bridgette and Harold: Go, go, go!
Kasumi: [lands safely on the sofa bed]
Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, and Harold: [cheering]
DJ: Everything's still here. Nothing's broken?
Kasumi:nope.
Dj: Phew.
(Kasumi gets off the sofa bed but DJ decides to rest on the sofa bed and it closed on him.)
Bridgette, Duncan, Kasumi, Geoff, and Harold: [gasp] [whistling]
[plane buzzing]
Chris: [through megaphone] Gophers lose, Bass wins! One-zero!
Heather: Nice going, Trent.
Gwen: Trent, is there anything you wanna ask me before they take you to get, uh, re-boned?
Trent: [strained] Yeah. Is my hair messed up?
-NEXT the rodeo challenge-
Chris: [through megaphone] Okay, cowpokes! Let's start... the rodeo moose challenge!
Geoff: Rodeo ridin's kinda like surfin'. Once you catch the lip, you just flow with the mojo. Haha.
Bridgette: Yeah! "Flow". Kinda like the ancient art of Japanese haiku?
Geoff: What's a haiku?
Bridgette: [sighs]
Geoff: Hey Bridge, hah. Wanna see that tat?
Gwen: Whoa!
Bridgette: Definitely not haiku-y.
[moose growls]
Chef: Ah!
Geoff: [screaming]
Chris: And Geoff's...
Geoff: Ah!
Chris: Out? [through megaphone] Ooh, that stinks big time for Bass! [voice over] [nasally] Wait a minute. Pause that! Let's just rewind that shot and run it in super slow-mo. I'm embarrassed. This is so degrading, I mean just look at me. Can we just please get decent budget together for hair and makeup? I look like I just fell out of bed! Geesh! [real time] [through megaphone] No, seriously? That is some rank stuff. Leshawna, let's get!
[fingers crack]
Scene cuts back to the rodeo....
bird chirps]
[smack]
Leshawna: [to Chef] I hope you got a moose burger recipe handy! [to moose] Heheh. Easy, boy. You don't wanna make me mad, now.
[moose growls]
Chef: Sweet mother of– Aah!
[crash]
Bridgette: So? Your guy's a metro with a broken back!
Gwen: So your guy's a grammatically challenged skater flake.
Leshawna: Ooh! Ooh! That the best you got? Ooh! You got nothin'! Whoo!
Gwen: Okay. So it wasn't Trent or Geoff.
Bridgette: Yeah, plus we kind of just assumed it was for us.
Leshawna: [in the distance] Get me off of this thing!
Bridgette: Well, whoever it is, we're gonna find out.
Leshawna: Ooh! Ooh!
Bridgette: Deal?
[tires screech]
Chris: [hrough megaphone] So, we have a tie! Whoever wins the extreme sea doo waterski challenge... wins invincibility!
Lindsay: I'm ready!
DJ and Heather: [gasp]
[sultry music]
Heather: We are so dead. Unless... I get to drive the wave jumper!
Leshawna: Just win the dang shower so I can get my hair did.
(Kasumi bumps into Heather "accidentally ")
Heather:oof..watch it clumsy
Kasumi: sorry...(heather walks away)(pulls out a box cutter)...not sorry
(Static)
Kasumi:[confessional] I cut a bit of Heather's halter top strap, its payback for what she did to Gwen.
(Static)
Harold: [confessional] This is it. We're tied for the win. Bad to the bone Duncan is driving Lindsay. I'm skiing for the Bass. Winning is inevitable. Goodbye wedgies, wet willies, and toilet face plunge. Hello... [smooth voice] Dirty Harold.
Gwen: Okay, so haikuist candidates are Duncan, Harold, DJ, or Owen.
Bridgette: Well we know Duncan was crushing on Courtney, so he's out. And Harold is...(the confessional door opens)
Harold: [smooth voice] Ladies. [normal voice] (falls over)[grunts]
Gwen: Yeah. I'll take Owen, you take DJ.
At the final challenge_
Heather: [to Harold] You are so out of your league, Alpha Geek.
Chris: Here's the road rules. Oh wait, there are no rules! Which means this is gonna be awesome!
Bridgette: So, read any good poems lately?
DJ: So, ask any arbitrary way-out-of-left-field questions lately?
Bridgette: [sighs]
Chris: And go!
[wave jumper runs]
Harold: Ahh! Oh! Ow! Oowah!(catching the flag)
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Flag one for Bass!
Geoff: Nice!
Bridgette: Yes!
Heather: No!
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Five flags and headed home!
Heather: That's impossible!(rides on)
Chris: Heather has to cross the finish line or be disqualified! but when she does, Harold will take five flags to victory for the Killer Bass!
(Static )
Heather: [gasps] [confessional] I couldn't let that little dorkwad win. So I decided to cut him loose.
(Static)
[shing]Heather pulls out a knife ready to cut the robe.
Heather: Game over, guppy!
Harold: Victory is... huh?
But while her back is turned, she passes a rogue tree branch that hooks on and rips off her top, leaving her topless in front of Harold and the entire audience.
Heather: [screams]
Harold: Ah! [grunts]
[crash]
Heather: [screaming]
[bear growls]
Chris: I don't know what Heather did to make Harold lose his concentration, but its a total wipeout for the Bass team!
Harold: Boobies...
Chris: Ready, set, ride it like it's sweeps week! Go!
[wave jumper runs]
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Flag one!
Gwen: Yeah!
Leshawna: Ew!
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Flag two, three, four...
Duncan: Grr...
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Lindsay has snagged all five and is racing home for the win! Duncan is eukered! He has to cross!
Duncan: Says you! Yeah!
[crash]
Lindsay: Whoo!
Chris: She won? [over loudspeaker] Gophers win!
[ding]
Gwen and Leshawna: [cheer]
Lindsay: Sorry about that Doug, I just really wanted that shower!
Duncan: Ugh, whatever!
Leshawna: Girlfriend, gimme some sugar!
Geoff: Really could've used that shower.
Kasumi(covers her nose) I'll say
DJ: [sniffs] Fwoo! Right you are, my skunky friend.
(Static )
Geoff: [confessional] So I landed in a pile of socks. Big deal. I can't stink that bad, can I?
(Static)
Chris: The Bass team went belly-up and will now decide which fishy to flush, while the Gophers totally scored some much-needed showers.
Leshawna: [sighs]
Owen: What's up with chicks and showers?
Gwen: So we ruled out Owen and DJ.
Bridgette: I know! So who could it be?
Leshawna: Who could what be?
Chris: Another note from your secret admirer, Leshawna?
Bridgette and Gwen: Leshawna's the crush, girl?
Leshawna: You two know someone else here with a kick butt attitude.. like mine.
Gwen: But who wrote it?
At the campfire ceremony-
Chris: As you know, if you do not recieve a marshmallow, you will be forced to walk the Dock of Shame, and you will never ever return to camp. Kasumi,Bridgette and DJ, you are safe.
Bridgette: [gasps]
Kasumi: awesome
Chris: [through megaphone] Geoff! You're safe, too!
Geoff: Muchos luchos, compadre!
Chris: Okay, that leaves Harold, who bailed big for reasons unknown.
"Static "
Harold: [confessional] Boobies.
"Static "(real time)
Chris: And Duncan who bailed even bigger because Lindsay left his circling the drain in a shameless–
Duncan: (walks up to Chris angry)[through gritted teeth] The chick was determined.
Chris: Which is why you're safe. Harold, sorry dude. You're done like dinner.
[Elimination music]
Harold: Well, it's been fun, guys.
Harold: Farewell Total Drama Island! I loved, I lost, and I saw boobies! What more could a man ask for?
Gwen: You loved?
Leshawna: You're a man?
Bridgette: You saw boobies?
Harold: Leshawna, I meant every word of that poem!
Leshawna: Poem? That was you?
Bridgette: No. Way.
Kasumi: interesting
Leshawna: Baby, you some kind of freaky!
Harold: [straining] Give daddy some sugar.
Bridgette, Kasumi,Gwen, and Lindsay: [gasp]
Chef: [confessional] Leshawna and Harold? I was as shocked as you. But you didn't read the letters. [chuckles] Ooh, spicy.
Geoff: Wait a sec. So, Harold saw your boobies?
Owen: Can we see?..(whack)Ow!!
(Kasumi hits owen over the head with a branch)
Leshawna: Heck no. Wait a minute. Who's boobies did you see?!
At the showers....
dramatic sting]
Heather: [sighs]
Leshawna: Uh-uh. Uh-uh-uh-uh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh, see now, you messed with the wrong sister!
Heather: Oh please. It was a total fluke. You think I'd actually show that dweeb my boobs on purpose? Uh... Ah!
Leshawna: Get back here!
Heather: [screams]
Gwen: Well, that's settled. Night.
Bridgette: Night.
Kasumi: goodnight everyone
The episode ends __