I was right! I'm in hell!
Well, physically, I am. I struggled to get out of bed this morning, and it took a cold shower to wake me up completely. I couldn't concentrate during rugby practice, and the stupid smile that constantly snuck onto my face caused our coach to make me run a couple of laps.
Doesn't matter, I'm happy. I was grinning again when we came to the locker room, and I punched Paul and Lucas for making gross suggestions about what Kira and I must've been up to last night. Burlap keeps on giving me these amused looks like he would like to stick me under a microscope. "What are you up to, Fletcher?" he asks, tossing a towel at me when I leave the shower, dripping on the floor.
"Nothing, just thinking about my girlfriend," I shrug, grinning again and use the towel to dry off. Burlap shakes his head and, chuckling, pulls on his shirt.
"Well, get dressed first; we don't need to see what happens when you do that!" Jet shouts, so I snap him with my towel, leaving a nice red stripe on his white butt. The dude never learns not to mess with me before he's covered in clothes. Of course, this results in a full-on war, making me realise that I haven't learned that lesson yet either.
I regret so many things by the time Barn, Lurch and Lucas join in too.
We leave the locker room fully dressed once we've admired each other's bruises and burns and are done whining about the unfairness of life as naked guys in the boys' locker room. All my pain and misery disappear, the happy grin returning to my face when I see Deli and Simon entering the school gate. My stomach cramps with excitement when I find Kira in the crowd of students.
As always, the sun is covering her head in a golden crown, making her shine and sparkle; her eyes are wide and bright, and her lips just pouty and red enough to make my legs feel the exercise I've just had.
Last night, while I was offering Kicks an extensive list of possible new names for kissing, she asked me why I was suddenly obsessed with randomly kissing her when I was happy with the whole three-second hello and goodbye and good luck thing before.
"I like it," I told her honestly and asked if she hated it. She didn't seem to hate it, but if she didn't hate it, why was she kicking against it?
"It's really confusing, Ethy... I mean, what are we even doing?"
What are we doing? We're dating!
Okay, she thinks we're just tutoring each other in dating, but I'm really dating her. I didn't know what to say to her that wouldn't make her run away, but there was that 'tutor' word hanging around, inspiring me, so I went back to when she was tutoring me on maths.
"Well, when some of the algebra rules confused me, you told me just to practice examples of each one over and over again, and now I'm not confused anymore," I told her, really impressed with my logic and genius. See, that way, kissing is actually her idea and not mine. She cannot go against her own ideas, right? "If you practised kissing me over and over, you won't be confused about kissing anymore either."
"Am I so bad at kissing that I need to practice it over and over again?" she asked, being completely insane. Couldn't she tell from my reactions that kissing her and being kissed by her brings me to the brink of death by sensory overload?
"If only you were, Kicks. If only you were..."
I weave my way through the students milling about, entering the school grounds, hurrying over to where Kira is walking, carrying a canvas bag that looks pretty heavy. What the hell does she have in there? She's just supposed to bring my lunch; I doubt that's all that is.
"Please don't tell him about the books," I hear her beg Delia and Simon, and now I get why her schoolbag was so damn light this morning. She forgot to pack her books in it! I grabbed it from their study after having a quick chat with Uncle Joe this morning - it was early, Kira wasn't up yet – and brought it to school with me. I know that Kira usually loads almost all her school books in her bag along with some novels, so when I was about halfway to school, I started to suspect that something might be wrong because the bag would be light even by her standards.
"Hey! Hey!" I say behind her, and when Kira spins around, I grab her, lifting her off her feet to give her a hug. I didn't plan to do that, but I've been daydreaming about her all morning, and now she's here and seeing her face just makes me so happy.
Lifting my head from her shoulder, I kiss her, and it is every bit as good as I remember. I have to work really hard to keep to the prescribed three seconds and not get too into it, but it's difficult!
I know I'm breaking a million of the rules we put in that spreadsheet by kissing her like this and not putting her down when the three seconds are over, but I don't want to let go yet. Hugging Kicks, I don't care that Delia looks like she's about to pluck out some pom-poms and cheer us on and that Jet is making weird animal sounds. Burlap is shaking his head at me; he might be warning me to chill it, but he has a huge smile of approval all over his face.
Mixed signals, Dude!
"What are you doing?" Kira breathes into my neck, causing goosebumps to ripple over my skin when I hold her closer, hiding my face in the soft hair escaping from her ponytail, enjoying the fragrance of her shampoo.
"Saying hello to my girlfriend," I explain, smiling at her before I capture her lips with mine for just a few seconds more and lower her to her feet. "Relax," I sigh, stroking the strands of hair I've caused to escape from her complicated double ponytail, trying to make them behave and soothe her simultaneously. I'm multitasking. "This is the fastest way to get the word out and get the whole Q&A thing over and done with."
No, that was not what I was doing; I wasn't thinking at all; I was just feeling and doing, but I know I'm right. If we don't make it very clear that we're together, people will be asking questions and go around whispering and speculating, freaking Kira out. I have no energy for that. I just want the world to know that Kira Croft is my girlfriend, and I am her boyfriend. It's really not complicated at all.
Well, it is... but only for Kira...
"Way to go, Ethan!"
"Oh! Nice, Kira!"
"All my sympathy, Kira!"
"Well done, Fletcher! You lucky dog!"
"Wow! You're such a brave girl, Kira!"
"I'm sorry, Kira! What did you do to deserve this punishment?!"
"My mom gives free counselling for students if you need it after a couple of days dating this guy," Paul Sanders tells Kira. I guess I didn't punch him hard enough earlier. Yup, these people call themselves my friends; I'm keeping score here. Those who congratulate us go on the friend pile; the rest are all dead to me now.
Kira looks ready to dig a hole and crawl into it, so I take the heavy canvas bag from her shoulder and weave my fingers through hers, walking with her to where I'd left her schoolbag in our homeroom so she can transfer her books to it.
I know it is probably weird. I've known Kicks for 12 years, and we've always just been whatever we were, which was people who were never required to hold hands and kiss, and yet this feels so natural; it comes so easy for me. I glance down at her to see if she agrees and am disappointed to realise that she probably doesn't. Her cheeks are flushed, and she's looking at her feet, too embarrassed to make eye contact with anybody around us. That is the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve.
Sh#t! How do I fix this?
I am so tempted to swap seats with the people sitting next to Kira in all the classes we have together, but I figured I should give her some space since she's still nervous about meeting people's eyes, and her colour is a little high, so I stay put on the other side of the class. Why is she always seated so far away from me? I swear it must be on purpose. When it's time to go to the next class, I grab her bag and take off with Burlap, leaving her to come at her own pace with Delia. Rinse and repeat.
As the morning progresses, I find myself walking with Burlap to one of the few classes I don't share with Kira. We chat about what we were up to yesterday, and he tells me that he'd spent most of the day with Wendy taking care of his grandfather, making Rice Krispies treats, playing games and watching movies. She stayed over on Saturday night and only went home late yesterday.
"She was waiting for Franklin to go back to Silverview. Seriously, that guy just..." Burlap shakes his head and grinds his teeth, and I know what he means. I, too, would love nothing more than to knock the bloke's teeth out.
Franklin is Wendy's stepbrother. He is a factory worker living with his mother in Silverview, and whenever she throws him out of the house, he comes to Egret's Rest to stay with his dad for a few days until she takes him back. This throwing out and taking back usually happens on a weekend, and then Wendy moves in with one of us until the guy returns to his mother.
We've had to explain to him on many occasions that it is not okay for him to slap around people smaller than himself, especially not girls. He forgets our lessons as soon as the bruises fade. Wendy doesn't say much about why she runs away from home when he is there, but we've started to suspect that slapping might not be all the guy does to her.
"You should marry the girl," I tell Burlap, admiring the last chunk of Rice Krispies, marshmallows and chocolate left in the small ziplock bag he gave me. "You two make the best Rice Krispies gunk."
"Yeah, that should be included in our wedding vows," he agrees, but his expression says that he does not agree with me at all, and I hastily stuff the treat in my mouth when Wendy joins us, jumping onto my back.
"Hey, Ethe," she says, strangling me with her forearm to stop herself from falling off. "Are you still dating Kira, or have you messed it up already?"
"He's still dating," Barn assures, her dragging her from my back. "So, no riding his back."
"Want me to ride yours instead?" she asks, and Barn gives a high-pitched, nervous laugh, passing her on to Jet - who obediently takes her on his back instead – and runs away.
"Seriously, I don't know how to take that kind of rejection," Wendy huffs, scratching Jet's head and I'm once again convinced that she sees him as her pet. We stop at the door to our classroom, waiting for our turn to enter, and Jet slides her off his back so she can collect her bag from today's lucky recipient of the carry-Wendy's-bag award, Lucas.
"So, Ethe, you have two schoolbags these days?" she asks me, and I realise I'm still carrying Kira's bag.
"Oh, sh#t! I'll be right back!" I hand my bag to Burlap and run down the corridor to deliver Kira's bag to her.
The entire morning follows that pattern: I carry her bag but stay clear of her, spending time with my friends instead, hoping it will help her settle down. When the bell rings for break time, I wait for her outside the classroom, thinking she'll join me for lunch, especially since Delia has hockey practice for a large part of the break time. When she finds me outside, she hands me the small cooler bag she had in her canvas bag and starts to walk away, making all my dreams and wishes crumble.
"Where are you going?" I ask, taking her arm, stopping her from leaving me, and she stops, turns around and looks up at me, causing my heart to do a multitude of flip-flops. Seriously, I've loved Kira for so many years, but since she became my girlfriend, I've fallen in love with her. I know it usually happens the other way around; at least, that's what my mom and Delia always told me. You fall in love, and it grows into love. The butterflies are supposed to fade and solidify into real love, but my love turns into happy butterflies in my stomach every time I see Kira's face or hear her voice.
"Delia has hockey practice," she tells me, looking flustered, and I'm suddenly afraid that she's going to run away again. "I'm going to relax and read my book."
She waves the book in the air, and I'm shocked to feel a stab of real jealousy cut through the butterflies in my stomach. The book was written by my cousin's best friend, Declan McKenna, a guy Kira admires. She's been reading his stories on writers' websites for a couple of years now, and lately, he's had some of his books published in paperback. He usually mails her signed copies, but that doesn't stop her from charging to the bookshop in town and buying a copy before he's even had a chance to send her one.
Dex is a really cool guy, but still, I don't like the fact that my girlfriend seems to be more in love with the book about pirates she is now cuddling so tenderly than she is with me.
Delia often has hockey practice during break time or gym periods because the teacher coaching their team cannot always stay after school. She does at least end the practice before the break is over to allow them a few minutes to eat and have a break. So, Kira would rather spend the time alone with Dex's pirate than with me?
"You're not going to come sit with me?" I ask, really sad now and feeling a bit cheated... which I know makes no sense. Dex is far away in Briar Cove, and that thing she is hugging so tightly is just a novel. I need to take a chill pill. "Come," I coax, smiling at her. "You can read there too."
If she's sitting next to me, reading the book, I won't feel this overwhelming urge to grab it and toss it on the roof of the nearest building. She can read all she wants as long as I get to hold her hand while she's doing it. Does that make sense? When did I become so jealous?
"Burlap is almost always reading," I point out when it looks like she is about to argue about reading in company. Hanging out together doesn't mean that she cannot do what she wants to do. "And Lisa and Joanie act as though they're in a hair salon. Nobody cares. It's about being together, not about what any of us are doing while we're together."
Kira turns her head, surveying the area where my friends – many of whom are now dead to me - are already gathering on the shady terraces near the rugby field, and she swallows nervously. Okay, maybe I'm being unfair; Kicks doesn't like being in a crowd, so I shouldn't force her. I could just go with her, but I get the idea that she doesn't want that either.
"Okay," I sigh, gently patting her on the head. "I get it. You want to be alone." I smile when she looks at me again. "I'll see you later then. Thanks for lunch."
Resigned to this defeat, I stroll away to where I know I'll at least be welcome, even if I cannot have the girl I love with me. I'll try again next time. She might come around eventually. The last thing I want to do is to force her to do things that clearly make her uncomfortable and end up driving her away.
I nearly jump out of my skin when I'm close to reaching the shady terraces, and a small, soft hand suddenly slips into mine. I almost jerk away, not expecting it to be Kira, but I turn my head and see her in time.
"I've changed my mind," she smiles, wrapping her free arm around mine, resting her head against my bicep and just like that, the sun is brighter, and my heart is skipping along whistling a sea chanty that would make the pirate in her novel very jealous. "Besides, my lunch is in there too..." she giggles.
I'm in heaven!
I'm surrounded by most of my closest friends, sitting with my back against a tree in the thick shade, eating seriously good sandwiches made for me by my girlfriend. The best part is that that girlfriend is sitting between my drawn-up knees, reading her book, nibbling on her own sandwiches. This is so friggin' awesome!
I used to sit here during break time, watching her where she always sits by herself, reading in the shade of a tree or chatting with Delia. I've asked my sister many times to sit with us and bring Kira, but we both knew that Kira would opt to sit alone if Delia joined us. Deli might be more social than Kira, but she's not all that keen to hang out with all the rugby guys and the girls that often hang out here too. She has no problem with Wendy, Tonia, Joanie and Lisa, but she cannot stand Alice, Laura, Megan and a few others.
I lazily run my gaze over the kids around me. Most of them are peacefully doing what they want to do. Chatting, braiding each other's hair, and eating. Barn and Jet are tussling... and I think Tonia and Lurch are too... or well... maybe that's not what they're doing. Burlap, as usual, is lounging against the same tree holding me up, reading a big-ass book. I remember why Deli doesn't like Alice, Laura and Megan when I see them glaring at Kira. If they keep that up, they might make her run away, and what are those looks about anyway?
I've never dated any of them, and I'm never going to either, and Kira has even more right to be here with all of us than they do. We all like Kira... except maybe Wendy, but that's just because she doesn't like the way Kira treats me. I'm sure she will start liking her now that Kira no longer tells me she hates me 40 times a day. Stuff it; I don't like the way those three girls are glaring at Kicks; they don't even seem to notice that I'm glaring at them in turn.
Sitting up straight, I lean forward and pull Kira towards me, sliding her over the grass until her back is pressed against my stomach. I think it's working because Megan is grinding her teeth, Laura is looking away, and Alice stuffs her sandwich in her mouth, making her cheeks puff out like a hamster. They are getting the message. Kira is with me, and I am with Kira, and no amount of glaring in the world is going to change that.
"What are you doing?" Kira squeaks, turning her upper body, trying to see me, and grinning, I shrug, taking a bite from my sandwich. I'm broadcasting a message to all the nasty bitches in the world... and to all the guys who think they could steal you from me now that you've crawled out of your shell a bit. I obviously don't say that out loud.
"I'll get splinters in my bum if you do that," she tells me, and I'm not sure where those splinters would come from; the grass is pretty thick and soft here.
"That's what she said," Jet chortles, making Kira frown at him. She looks around, seeing people grinning and sniggering about his stupid joke, and I have to hold onto her to keep her from escaping. She really doesn't like being this close to me, and to be honest, it's making me feel a little depressed. I'm not doing anything outrageous; I'm barely touching her. I wish she could just relax and enjoy this a little bit.
"Seriously, Kira!" Wendy snaps, and now she is the one glaring at my girlfriend, but I know it's not because Kira is sitting between my legs; it's because she is so friggin' good at reading me and probably knows that I'm a bit frustrated by Kira's lack of affection. I would love some affection from Kira, but I also want her to be comfortable, and Wendy is about to push her in the wrong direction. I appreciate her compassion and concern, but she doesn't know Kira like I do. "How can you be such a prude with a yummy boyfriend like Ethan? I can assure you, Ethe, if you were mine, you wouldn't have to beg for affection like that."
What the hell is she saying?!
I grin, shaking my head at her, urging her to cool down and am relieved to see Jet, who has stopped harassing Barn and is trying to use Wendy's lap as a pillow, squeeze her knee, warning her to relax. Burlap has also lowered his book to make bug eyes at her. She is getting the messages, but she's not happy.
Feeling Kira tense at Wendy's outburst, I lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder and am surprised when, instead of withdrawing into herself, she answers Wendy.
"I'm not a prude," she says, and I wince, realising that accusing her of being a prude was one of the things Cole did that hurt her a lot back then. "I just think that some things are just between Ethan and me... it's not public... We've only just started dating; it's all new to me. I'd rather ease into things calmly... with a plan."
I love that answer, and glancing at Wendy, I can tell that she likes it too. Without meaning to, she'd spurred Kira into making my day, and now I get to back up my girlfriend and solidify our relationship. Maybe Wendy is a genius. She seems pleased enough to have planned this response, but I'm not sure.
"Yeah," I say, wrapping my arms around Kira. "She's right; most of the things I want to do with her can't be done in public because we'll get arrested."
"Get off me, you big oaf!" Kira growls. Apparently, she doesn't see this as me backing her up. She turns and tries to push me away, her eyes sparking fire, but she's not leaving, and I cannot help but laugh at how annoyed she is. I don't even care that there's another 'I hate you, Ethan Fletcher' loading.
"You are so cute when your eyes spark like that," I grin, giving her a nice loud smacking kiss on the lips. Man, I love doing that!
"Gross!" she says in a sulky voice, rubbing the back of her hand over her mouth, making me laugh. She is such a brat. Besides, I don't believe her that she thought it was gross. I rub my knuckles over her head, messing up her neatly tied hair.
"Stop it! Don't touch me!" she grunts, unceremoniously grabbing my hand to bite me.
"Ow!" I laugh, yanking my hand free, and to punish her for her violence, I tickle her. Kira hates being tickled... so I do it often.
"Ethan! I swear I'm going to pee on you!"
Oh, wow! That escalated fast! I'm not really able to tickle her effectively anymore because she has hold of my collar, and her aggression is making me laugh so much I can barely keep doing it. When Tonia giggles, amused by our minor brawl, Kira freezes, letting go of my collar and sliding off my legs to sit between my knees again, with her back to me. I'm a little disappointed that she's no longer in my lap, but I think we've had enough excitement for now. I was about to forget where we were and kiss her again... and it would've been in a way that would definitely have been against our PDA rules.
Saved by the Tonia...
"I agree with Kicks," I tell Wendy, leaning back against the tree and taking another sandwich from the lunchbox. "Some things are just between the two of us. I'm all for taking it slow. I want this to last."
For emphasis, I trace a fingertip down Kira's spine, surprised to feel her shiver. Many of the kids gathered here with us are grinning and giving us looks, clearly approving, and with a nervous huff, Kira picks up the book she lost in our scuffle and starts reading it again.
Relaxing, I chat with Lurch about our plans to build a tree house at the waterfall. We've been planning it for almost a year now, but we never actually get around to doing it, but this coming holiday, we're going to build that thing! We've finally gathered enough materials to do it with.
I absently stroke Kira's head, enjoying the softness of her hair. She's been reading for ages now; it's time to play with me again. We'll be back in class soon, and she'll be paying attention to the teacher, so we need to give each other some attention while we can. I gently run strands of her hair through my fingers, giving them a little pluck every now and then.
"Ethan, what are you doing?" she asks after a while when my tactic starts to work, dragging her attention from her book.
"I'm being affectionate," I tell her because I am... sort of...
"Are you cleaning your hands on my hair?"
"No, I'm being affectionate..."
"You're cleaning your hands on my hair, aren't you?!"
"Well, you didn't bring any serviettes," I chuckle.
"Seriously, I'm not making your lunch again if I'm just going to end up wearing it in my hair."
"Whoa! It's not like I'm sticking pickles and leftover corned beef up there! It's just a few crumbs... and stuff."
"Oh, well, in that case..." Turning around, she reaches up and brushes her hands all over my head, really messing my hair up good. I guess she's trying to punish me, but I'm loving this. Laughing, I grab her wrists and pull her against my chest, pushing her arms behind her back, making it impossible for her to pull my hair or escape.
Oh! Yeah! This is what I needed!
"Yeah," Barn is laughing happily, enjoying the show. The dude has the best laugh; it's like roaring thunder, starting softly until it blows out your eardrums. I love it. When he starts laughing, people generally tend to join in. "I can see why some things really should just happen when the two of you are alone."
"Again?!" Kira huffs, glaring at me. She tries to escape, but I only let her get away far enough to be back in her perfect resting place between my knees. I know she wants to be there because she doesn't put up much of a fight. I know when Kira is serious about wanting to be left alone and when she's flustered and wants to be held onto and prevented from running away. There is a slight chance that she's actually enjoying this.
"I've been thinking of getting this book," Burlap says. This time, he'd rescued Kira's book and was paging through it. He usually reads classics written by old British people; I've never seen him read the kind of paperbacks Dex writes. Declan wouldn't mind sending Burlap copies of his books if he'll enjoy them. I see my poor friend's eyes grow with fright, and he quickly tries to give Kira's book back to her. She was in the process of glaring at me when he spoke to her, and he must think she was glaring at him now.
I chuckle softly, realising that not everybody can handle Kira's angry expressions as well as I can.
"It is really good," Kira tells him, not taking the book from him, and his face relaxes into a smile, realising he is not the target of her glare because he is holding her book. He knows Kira is not like that. It must've been one vicious glare to get to him that much.
I only half listen to them discussing the book and some of Dex's other stories they have both read. I'm mostly just enjoying being here with Kira and my friends. I've finished my lunch, the sun is hot, the shade is... well, not cool, but it will do... and I have Kira here with me. Closing my eyes, I lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees and my head on Kira's shoulder.
"Way to go, Kira! You brought porn to school," I hear Jet exclaim, but I'm pretty sure that cannot be true. Dex doesn't write smut. "You've got a keeper there, Ethe!"
"Yeah, I know," I mutter because that is the only part of his sentence that makes any sense. Listening to my friends tease Kira and feeling her giggles against my cheek, the world fades away, and I give myself over to the exhaustion caused by going to sleep too late last night.
"Ethe!"
I can hear Kira calling me, but her voice is far away, and then I become aware of someone patting my back, and now it is Burlap's voice calling my name, rousing me from my sleep.
"Hey," I yawn, lifting my weight from Kira's back and stretching luxuriously. "Thanks for the nap, Kicks," I smile, getting to my feet.
"No problem, you're so much easier to deal with when you're asleep," she grins, taking my hand so I can pull her up.
"Do you have some gum?" Ugh! That is the problem with sleeping after eating; it's like all the flavours I'd enjoyed eating are now just hanging around half-dead in my mouth. Kira always has a tiny tin filled with cut-up pieces of sugar-free gum in the pocket of her school skirt. I don't have the patience to cut mine up to make them last. I usually stuff a pack in my pants pocket, and people steal them, and it doesn't take long for my gum to be gone. I open Kira's tin and take a few of them. I'll just buy her more next time I go to the convenience store.
We gather our lunchboxes into the cooler bag and follow the others to the stone steps leading up to the classrooms, where I stop Kira when she's a couple of steps ahead of me, bringing us to eye level with each other. While falling asleep, I had an inspiring idea about how Kicks and I could get our relationship on the right track.
"What do their messages say?" I ask her, and she frowns at me, obviously not understanding how great my idea is. "I mean, they can't just say hello, goodnight... and boring sh#t like that, right? They're always messaging each other. They must have stuff to say. What kind of stuff?"
I'm obviously talking about Simon and my sister, and when I see realisation dawn on Kira's face, I'm a bit surprised that she didn't know that right away.
"I don't know," she frowns. "Why does it matter?"
"I need reference material. Will you take a look?"
"You want me to read their messages?!"
"Yeah."
"Do you have any idea how twisted that is?" She is blinking at me in horror, really not seeing my brilliance.
"Why?"
"Why don't you read them?"
"Because I cannot unread them," I say, really not getting why she doesn't understand that. She and Deli are always telling each other everything. There are loads of things Deli and I don't tell each other because it would be too weird. "I just want the gist of it. What it's about. If it's sexy stuff, I really don't want any details."
"Did I give you a concussion when I hit you in the head with my book earlier?"
"Probably," I shrug. Nothing new about that. "Will you do it for me?"
"Ethan, you're nuts!"
"How else am I supposed to learn?" I ask. I'm starting to feel frustrated that Kira doesn't see how good my plan is to learn from the only couple I'm really close to that has the kind of relationship I want with her. "You're my tutor; you need to gather information and then put it in my head."
Kira pulls a horrified face, frees herself from my hands and runs up the steps.
"Kicks! Kicks!"
I start to follow her, but I know by now that whenever I am chasing Kira to steal her sweets... or because she stole mine... she always dives into the first girls' bathroom she can find because she knows I cannot follow her in there.
Well, she has to come to class eventually... I'll just corner her there.
♂♀