I woke up the next morning with Leah next to me. She laid there in perfection, her hair was messy, and she was snoring a bit, but that didn't matter, she was still perfect to me.
It was about seven in the morning. I could never sleep after a night of drinking and Leah had training at ten since she had a game the next day. She looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake her up. I also didn't want to face the conversation we were going to have today. That conversation needed to happen. We couldn't keep pretending mean words weren't said to each other and we had everything in our lives together, so I let her sleep for a bit longer and headed downstairs to make myself a coffee.
I made my coffee and sat on the couch putting the television on. Alex wasn't up yet so I was all alone, which I partly wanted.
My relationship ended a week ago and I kissed Leah. For some reason I felt guilty. It's not like Owen and I were together or would get back together. I feel like Leah and I's story started long before that, not something I wanted to admit, but the moment she came into my life something changed. I mean the kiss was great. The night we just spent in that bed was magical and everything in life finally started to feel right, yet I was still confused.
Alex soon joined me making herself a coffee and we sat on the couch talking about the night before. We did this all of the time when we lived together in Toronto, but it mainly consisted of her complaining about how hungover she was and the guys our friends would get with.
I filled her in on everything that happened with Leah.
"It just makes sense you know, I never felt this way with Owen"
"I think she would be really good for you, but I think you should be happy with yourself being gay before you jump into anything, it could ruin everything"
She was right. I'm not one hundred percent sure why I had my doubts still. From the age of ten my parents would tell me they would still love me if I was gay. For whatever reason I couldn't embrace myself liking girls, after that kiss with Leah I knew I for sure did, yet I felt so uncomfortable telling the people I love. Sometimes I wish my brain could shut off, and these feelings of unnecessary doubt would go away, and I could be content with who I was.
I finally got up to wake up Leah, I knew she would be mad if she didn't have enough time in the morning before training.
I went upstairs and laid back beside her. I shook her and she woke up. Stretching her arms and having a big yawn.
"That was some night wasn't it"
She smiled at me.
"Yeah it was"
I smiled back at her.
Leah got up and I offered to make her breakfast but she denied it claiming she needed enough time to get ready before training that day. I understood, she didn't have anything here and I'm the same way, I love to be in my own space.
She headed to the front door and put her shoes on.
"Leah, after you're done training can we talk?"
"Yeah of course"
Before leaving my flat, she gave me a hug and a soft kiss on the cheek.
I could see Alex in the corner of my eye cheering us on. I just hoped Leah didn't see that too.
----
Alex and I spent the day exploring London. She's never been here so she insisted on doing all of the touristy things together. I took her to see Big Ben, the London eye, and Buckingham Palace. We also walked around the city so she could pick up some souvenirs for Seb and some of her coworkers.
Although these were all things I've seen before it was nice getting to share my new home with my best friend. I thought while she was here she might fall in love with the city and move here, but that stayed a dream. She was happy in Toronto, like I was here in London.
The day spent together went by super quick, which sucked because she was leaving in a couple days, but good because that meant I got to see Leah soon.
----
Leah texted me saying she was done training and asked me if I could go to hers. I understood why, Alex was still here and my walls were pretty thin. I felt bad leaving her alone, but she told me that she came her to help me, and this was part of it.
I drove over to Leah's place. The last time I was there was the first time I felt a spark, and now I'm coming here with feelings for her. It was crazy how fast the world changes.
I got there and went up to the door. I felt nervous, like first date nervous, but this wasn't a first date.
I knocked on the door and she let me in. We went to go sit on the couch.
"So last night happened"
I spoke up, unsure where to start.
"Alina was the reason I was held up last night"
Of course I was surprised. From what Leah has told me they haven't talked since she left Arsenal.
"Oh why?"
"She wanted to apologize and tell me there was something between us and I wasn't crazy for thinking that"
"What'd you do?"
"I told her I couldn't do it, be with her"
"Beth told me you loved her"
"I did, or I guess I thought I did, then you came along"
I just nodded at her, I couldn't find the words, so she continued.
"When I first met you, something was different, there was something about you I couldn't pin point what it was, then I got to know you and I knew, I knew it was you, the girl I was always meant to fall in love with"
"So that means you were never in love with her?"
"Yes, it was mostly because of the recent break up with Jordan I didn't know what love was anymore, Alina cared about me so I just assumed it was, but it never truly was"
I nodded again. She told me what happened that night and how she felt so it was my turn.
"You know when we first met I knew something was different too"
She nodded.
"I always pictured how my life was supposed to go, I would be successful in my career, then I would settle down with Owen, start a family, my parents would be happy, so I would be happy too, but now I know that life wouldn't make me happy"
She looked at me.
"My life is so complicated, Leah I didn't even know what happiness felt like until I met you, and the last time we sat on this couch and you touched my leg, I finally got my first dose of it in 22 years"
"I could tell"
"Never in my life have I put my happiness over my parents, everything I do is for them and for them to be proud, I want to start putting myself first for once"
"What does that mean"
"That I can't keep denying that there isn't something between us"
She smiled and kissed me. Oh how magical it was, when her lips touched mine. She then broke away.
"I have to say one thing though"
I didn't want to ruin this moment between us, but I knew this needed to be said.
"Leah, I need to figure some things out first, and I want us to take this slow, get to know each other, and go on a first date before we make anything official, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you"
"I understand we can do that"
We both smiled at each other and we kissed some more, before I needed to get home. I left Leah's house the happiest person I've been in a while.
---
The next day I drove Alex to the airport. I was sad she was leaving but she also had a life, she couldn't be here permanently fixing mine, there were things I needed to be able to do on my own.
She got out of my car and I took her luggage out of the trunk for her. I gave her the biggest hug and started to cry.
"Thank you"
She was crying too.
"Promise me you're putting yourself first, and see where things go with Leah, I think she's perfect for you"
"I promise"
"And you'll come back to visit me and your mom"
"I promise"
She wiped her tears away and headed into the airport.
I cried some more on the car ride home and at home. Alex picked up the pieces of my shattered life that she could, and she helped me figure out the things I needed to do to help myself.
----
A/N:
-Bit of a shorter chapter again, but I thought this was the perfect way to follow up the previous chapter.
-Don't worry, there's more drama to come, and it'll be what you least expect.
-I just want to say the biggest thank you to all of my readers, we hit 1k reads which is far more than what I expected so from the bottom of my heart thank you:)