I was halfway through the Monday I'd been dreading and on to athletics, the hour and a half I'd been stewing over the most. I expected to get shit in the locker room, or just be completely exiled for a day or two, but I had no idea what was coming from Coach Craig.
When I walked in the locker room one of the guys started a slow clap until the others caught on and joined. To add insult to the sarcasm, my #44 football jersey I'd turned in was hanging on my locker ready to wear. That part was actually kind of sad or made me feel bad for them. They could have spray painted it or slashed holes in it. No, they were set to forgive me if I came back to the game.
"Bro, just tell us all you had mono or some shit, but you're better now and we can move on with the rest of the season." Billy Aiken came up behind me with his hand on my back. The fact that they were sincere made it hard not to mean something to me, but it was also the worst part. It meant they just didn't get it. If I'd gotten behind on grades and dropped out to be a stoner, nobody would give me a second look. We didn't really have that luxury in Pure Pines. That would be worse than getting arrested. This was because I was choosing another sport and ultimately myself over them. How could I make them understand that "them," the team, was only going to last about six more weeks of games if they were lucky enough to make it to playoffs. It was a fleeting moment next to the scholarship I had to land to set up my career path.
I'd been over and over this in my own head, then with coach, and now this. Even prepared for it, I wasn't in the mood. There was no way to make them understand without insulting them. How could I tell them that three or four of them, the very guys begging me to play, would drop out before two-a-days started next Fall. Or, that one or two would be injured and have no choice. I wasn't above anybody with this decision. It was a tough one to make. I was just in a position where I had to make it.
I tried to smile my way out of it. "Sorry guys. It's just something I gotta do."
"Oh, I get it, it's not us... it's you." Billy's comical jester went a little dark to remain friendly. A locker slammed behind me.
"You think you're that fast, Reed? You fucking better be. If we lose again next week, I'm coming after your sorry ass, and you won't have to worry about a potential football injury."
My jaw tensed as I turned my eyes from Billie to look behind me at the fat linebacker of a senior that took this to a whole other level. It was hard for me not to call him "Bubba" as I slammed my locker harder and turned to face him.
"You want me to hold you to that Lance? I think everybody in here heard you. Sounds like a threat to me. Hell, we don't even have to play catch me if you can. What are you up to now, two twenty? I'd hate to make you run. Why don't you just crush my ass right here? But you better do it now, and you better finish the job, because no way will you get another opportunity. I don't do ultimatums especially waged on you fuckers winning without me." I stepped closer toward his face, letting him know I wasn't intimidated and had no intention of backing down. Lance looked away and down. I knew he didn't want to fight me.
"Look, we're all friends here and we've had a good run of it, no pun intended." I actually did get a few laughs from my friends in the back on that one. "You don't need me out there. I make one small part of the game easier by playing my position well. That's it. That's the formula behind it. Don't sell yourselves short. You find somebody else who wants that position, or you make every other position that much better so nobody misses this cocky bastard. If you guys want to win, it's got nothing to do with me. Don't make me your lousy excuse."
There was a pause before Lance extended his hand and we hugged it out. Billy grabbed my jersey and tossed it and the rest of the locker room jumped in to give me a sendoff. I didn't deserve it from them, and I'm certain they didn't all feel the way the collective celebration would suggest, but I won a crowning moment out of it. Or at least I didn't have to worry about getting jumped behind the school dumpster one night.
"Hey, ass holes! You change into your tutus yet? Everybody signed Adrian's "get well soon" card since he lost his mind, I hope. Now get dressed and get on the field. Now!" Coach Craig ordered the team out.
I turned back toward my locker to start getting changed while the guys rushed past and out of the locker room as quickly as they could. I could feel Coach Craig standing and staring behind me, but I had no interest in challenging him or dealing with whatever antics he was about to bring my way.
"Reed, I'm just curious what you think you're getting dressed for."
"Well, Coach Craig, my schedule still says athletics and it would behoove me to keep it that way for May and the upcoming track season, so I guess I'm getting ready for whatever you tell me."
"That's right son. Your schedule says athletics this period, and if you aren't playing football, you aren't in athletics anymore. You're in regular P.E. Now, last time I checked, that takes place in the special ed room or under the bleachers with the stoners. I don't think I've ever seen any of that crew in here in our nice locker room adjacent to the brand-new weight room."
I sighed audibly and dropped my head as I turned to look up at Coach Craig. "Really? Is this really what we're going to do here?"
"Well, Hell son, I don't know what you're gonna do. I would have never bet on you quittn' ball on us, but as you said it was your decision. Now, I guess you can make a decision between playing football and running drills with the team in your scheduled athletic period or you can choose P.E. and I don't want see your face in my locker room."
"Wait a minute. You can't do that. I'm in athletics, I lettered in football, track, and basketball last year. I have every right to be in athletics."
"What did you think, boy, that you'd just get to run around the track all day to your heart's content, prepping yourself for spring?"
"Well, yeah, there are dumber ways than that to go about winning state. So, you intend to punish me? You lose out on a wide receiver, so you make me lose out on track, is that the logic behind this? You have plenty of guys in athletics that don't do football. You've got them working drills and training for their other sports, it's the way it's done."
"It's not the way I'm doing this. Now, I've got dedicated players you used to stand beside out there on our field waiting on me. I suggest you get dressed and join them or get lost. Hell, I don't care what you do if it's not on my field."
I was fuming. I knew I should leave it, but no way would this prick be my obstacle. "Hey coach, I guess that's what you meant when you always told us to "give 'em Hell."
"You smart aleck little shit. I made you out there on that field and you're gonna go reap my benefits somewhere else?"
"YOU overlooked me until I got so fast I was invited to your party. I came, I participated, I've already fucked my knee once for you, and now I don't want to be a part of it anymore."
"I told you I would handle that, and I did. You're first-string varsity football and my wide receiver to take us all the way this year... How do you think that's not gonna get you a scholarship unless you just don't wanna play ball for a major university? I don't understand you, son? I can help you get there."
"With all due respect, coach, how many football scholarships have gone out of Pure Pines to a major university?"
"That's all before I got here... you gotta' look at my track record with players."
"Have a little faith in you, huh? It's my education. Aren't you supposed to have some in me? And, what you really meant earlier was, if I don't get injured again, that's how you can help me go all the way. That's a big fat if for a wide receiver in Texas high school football, coach." My eyes purposefully drifted down to the two gnarly scars on the coach's knee.
"Yeah, well, I guess we don't always get what we want. Your choice, Adrian. Suit up or get out."