"Zoro."
"Mhm."
Zoro took a peek at his wife, who was lying down next to him during his night of watch. The night waters were calm, and the sky was bright enough just to let those who are awake have their loved ones reflected in their eyes.
"You're my husband, right?"
"Yeah, no doubt."
"Then... are you ever going to, you know..."
"Huh?"
"You know, every man wants it. I know that."
Widening his eyes a little, his eyes diverted to her nervous lips, from which he tore his eyes away from. She was too used to this equation. Men wanted women to either serve them, or satisfy their needs. Or at least, those things were what she was desired for. Wondering why Zoro wasn't taking any steps to do any of those, she just had to ask, on a night where it seemed like no one was going to come in between them.
"Why, you want it?"
His voice was lower than usual, his gaze sticking to her like honey. Many thoughts raced through her head as she pressed her lips together, holding his hand gently.
"What?"
"I don't know. Isn't a husband supposed to make his wife happy? If that is what makes you happy..."
"Zoro.... Well, I'll do whatever you want."
"What I want?"
What I want, is to become the world's greatest swordsman, and for Luffy to achieve his dreams. These two, and nothing more. Zoro locked his fingers around hers, and calmed his heart down.
"What I want is for you to be safe. That's all."
All this ambiguity made both of their palms sweaty. Instead of letting go of their hands, Zoro tightened his grip, bringing her hand towards his face. He gave her hand a short peck, as a sign to cherish every part of her as delicately as he wanted to.
"Tell me. If it's something you want, I'll do it. Anything."
"I.... Just wanted to say the same as you. I just..."
"Hey."
His voice dangerously low, Zoro got up, helping her get up to lean against the wall as well. She saw his determined eyes, blinking slowly to try and read what was on his mind.
"The fact that we are wife and husband... and the fact that you know that I'm the only one who does not desire you... Let's forget about all that."
"...Huh?"
"Yeah. Let's just treat each other like friends, like crew mates, who'd hold hands and even hug, kiss... If timing calls for it. Don't stress yourself."
Gulping down her saliva, she suddenly burst out in tears, her mind fixing the scattered pieces of puzzle. The pieces that have been waiting for a day someone picked them up to complete the picture. What pained her heart was learning that Zoro did not like her in any way more than everyone else on this earth; the very reality that he did not yearn for her to be beside him despite everyone else doing so. This has only hurt her now— because she had realised she loves, no, has been loving, no, will love... She has been in love, and is loving, and will be loving him.
This was no coincidence. Seeing him for the first time, him grabbing her wrist, his very look, voice and character making her trust him. She clutched onto her chest at the realisation that the one man she loves is not going to love her back. What is the point of loving then, what is the point of everyone else loving her then, if the very person she calls husband doesn't even love her back? Finding it hard to stop her crying, she continued sobbing, as Zoro silently embraced her. He did not need to know the reason behind it. She was a person with many scars in her heart, and had all the rights to cry out loud any time she wanted.
"Zoro...."
He did not feel the need nor the want to respond to her cry. He simply patted her back, letting the tears flow down her precious self that no one has stepped up to protect.
"Zoro... why won't you love me back?"
This simple question rendered him speechless. He could have done everything but that. Knowing that he was not one to break a promise, he simply told her he would try, to which she raised her fist and hit his arm gently and repeatedly.
"Why... Why must it be you? No one else had to ever try. Why is it that you... you are the only one that has to say that?"
She knew it from the moment she lied beside him today. That her heart telling her to ask him such a question meant she was ready to accept him every way possible. If he wanted to whine to her, she was ready to console him. If he wanted to chide her, she would listen. If he wanted to hold her, she would gladly stay in his embrace.
It wasn't as if Zoro did not favour her as a female. In fact, apart from having no romantic feelings for her, he very much enjoyed the company of hers. She was objectively beautiful, kind and mature. It was hard for him to keep his selfish desires to himself as well— he did not want to take advantage of her feelings and the title of a married couple to engage in anything they might end up regretting.
"Zoro..."
"Yes."
"I know now. This feeling is love. I... I love you."
I finally get it now, the thing I mislabeled as an allergic reaction was "love". The feeling of wanting to be with him but not too close, in case I become a hindrance to him, the feeling of wanting to better myself to be stronger physically and mentally, the feeling of wanting to live, and to see him live. I wanted to see everyone on this ship live; I loved all of them, but in a different way from Zoro. I just couldn't put a finger on it... till today. Realising the reason behind all of the happenings so far, she stopped punching him and slowly slid her hand down his shoulder in despair.
"This.... This is really a curse. As if what I went through was not enough."
What do I say to comfort her? How do I start loving her? Would actually loving her hinder me in achieving my dreams? Zoro walked away to grab some tissues for her to wipe her tears and blow her nose, and sat back down cross legged opposite her. Staring at her pouring her heart out, he let out a small sigh. Since he was young, he had no one to depend on either, but he knew how to divert the pain— by having a lifelong goal and working towards it. What kind of action can I take for her, he thought, seeing her turn her head around to blow her nose like a child that's just been harshly scolded. Grinning to himself, he thought of what would excite a child, since to him she looked like one right now, throwing a tantrum and crying over something that can't be helped. A child is like Luffy, and Luffy likes meat...
"Are you hungry?"
"What?"
Her voice was all squeaky from speaking in between her tears, as her crying got softer and softer eventually, like a whisper of a cold night. Her echoing sniffs filled the deck, her scrunching up her nose to halt her tears. Zoro was amazed that the mention of food has really worked on her, without understanding that she was just a little distracted from the unending thoughts of her resounding misery.
"I guess you are hungry. Come, let's go find some food."
"Huh? I'm not..."
Not knowing how to respond, she simply sat there, her swollen eyes staring at Zoro's hand stretched out in front of her face. Seeing her frozen, a tissue in her hands, he picked her up like a father would to a child that has fallen asleep while watching her favourite TV show.
"There there, you're done crying."
"Huh... I mean..."
Too confused at the turn of events, she looked up to see Zoro's lips curled up in a smile, his walking stance all confident and proud. Adjusting herself in his arms, she felt her legs dangling down, slowly relaxing in his efforts. Placing her down as gently as he could, Zoro left her on the dining table seat and opened the fridge, to see if there was any food that did not require cooking. Her eyes tracing his back view, from his green hair to his wide set shoulders, she recalled the feeling of security in his arms just now. I wonder if he himself needs any comfort, she thought to herself. After all, she's heard that everyone on this ship had a rather tragic backstory.
"Zoro."
"Yeah?"
"I'm not hungry. Can you just pass me some water?"
"Oh... Really?"
Good for me, actually. Zoro turned around to pour both of them cups of water, as she suggested they go out again to do their duties. Nodding his head, he handed her the cups of water, and sat back down at a place where the night sky was visible.
"So... Uh..."
"You're still a child, crying like that."
"Hey! I'm not. This is the first time I've cried like this since I became an adult."
"Seems like you haven't become an adult yet."
Chuckling at her red nose and not-so-intimidating glare, Zoro gulped down a glass of water as she did the same.
"So, anyway, don't you think it's about time you undid the curse?"
"... Yeah. I've always been thinking about that. And I got so emotional because I finally found out the "catch" the witch was talking about."
"Hmm?"
"The catch is probably that the person I love will not love me back. Although every other guy will."
Looking out into the distance, Zoro took in the familiar yet ever-changing view nature presented them with.
Love. This word has never been an important word to him, but he knew that love is usually a positive experience for many. Just as how alcohol was used to disturb her more than bring about joy, he reflected on how in her world, the elements of joy are turned against her, and she had to find a way to smile in that upside world.
"Have you ever thought of using it against others?"
"What?"
"I mean, I'm not sure if you know of this woman that's apparently in love with our captain. She uses her looks to turn men into stone. I mean, you can't do that, since she is a devil fruit eater, but... you know. I bet if Nami were in your shoes, she'd use that to get all the treasure in the world."
"Oh..."
"Not saying you are wrong for living like that, though. I just don't know how to help you be happier."
"It's okay. That's for me to figure out. Perhaps, you are right. There might be some advantages to this... But the problem is, I've been like this since I was a child. Before I'm supposed to even know I'm a woman, you know what I mean? That messed me up real good. Not to mention Boa Hancock is loved by females too, while I'm not so welcome by them."
"Oh? You know of the pirate empress?"
"Yeah. They would compare the two of us, which made me shudder. I haven't seen her in real life, but she looks gorgeous just from the photos. It's embarrassing."
Zoro thought back to the day Luffy described Hancock— nothing about her looks but the way she acted. Luffy has mentioned that Hancock was stubborn, determined but very helpful to him. Zoro closed his eyes for a while, trying to take in all the information that was going into his head, and his heart. His wife placed a hand on his sword, to which he immediately opened his eyes to see what she was doing. Her gaze was calm, and her voice was even softer.
"How about you? Are you happy now?"
"I'm happy enough to try and make others happy, I guess. I was always fending for myself, but it's cool to learn how to protect the ones I love. I... could not do that as a child, and lost a dear friend."
"I'm sure it wasn't your fault, Zoro. People's lives come and go every second of the day, but none of it can really be controlled by us. I heard you guys have survived death multiple times already."
"That's true."
Clearing her throat to get rid of the rawness in her throat, she felt a strange sense of relief amidst the discomfort. It feels nice to share, to understand, and to be understood, she thought. Her fingers gliding across the ridges of the grip, she saw how many layers of coating and bandaging the sword had gone through, and took her hands off of it.
"Did your friend wield a sword too? That's my guess."
"Yes, she was the best swordsman at that point of time. Actually, you are very similar to her, quoting the difference in strength in men and women. Which is why I want you to believe in yourself. It's crazy that she, who has beaten me all the time, say she was weaker than me."
"Oh... I... I'll try. I'll try to be strong in my own way. I don't think I'll ever use a sword, but... It'd be a shame if the world's greatest swordsman was wed to a nobody. I'll become someone too."
"Oh yeah?"
Finally smiling to his heart's content, he pulled her in quickly by the shoulders. She gasped a little before falling onto his shoulder, and let her feelings show by giggling like a school child. Seeing her brighten up so easily made Zoro confirm once again that she is indeed a child, and decided to work towards protecting her better. After all, she did, and will give him many chances to train and fight, which was all he wanted.
////
"Hey love birds!"
Seeing the married couple leaning on each other, fast asleep on the watching dock, made everyone crowd around as if they were an exhibit at the zoo. Sanji was biting his mouth to prevent himself from crying, and Robin grinned with her teeth all showing. I guess she had some kind of break through last night, huh. Seeing the two empty cups and tissues scattered around them, she guessed their night to be an emotional one. Nami continued calling out to them, as the lady in question tried to open her eyes as fast as she could, but the swelling did not help at all.
"It's already morning?"
"Oh my gosh! You sound just like Zoro."
"Huh? What's going on..."
Her head still resting comfortably on his shoulder, she looked around slowly before springing up animatedly. Her cheeks all blushed and one side of it squashed from leaning on him the entire night, she almost tripped from her own commotion, but Zoro catched her arm with his eyes closed.
"Come back. Don't fall."
He phrased his words like a command— her ears also flaring up from everyone watching, she sat back down next to Zoro and covered her face with her hands.
"You're funny! Hahaha!"
Luffy was already laughing energetically in the bright morning sun as Franky quietly wiped a tear from his eye, muttering about the beauty of young love. Everyone left for them to gather themselves, and Brook volunteered to play a morning song to get everyone going for the day. Despite her attempts to get out of Zoro's grip, the half-asleep swordsman did not let go in worry of her falling into the sea, although she was not even close to that.
"Come on, Zoro, let's go."
"I'm sleepy."
"Fine, fine. You can stay here. I'll go."
"No, no... Stay with me."
"Now who's the baby."
Her voice pitch dropped by a little, petting his green hair to try and coax him into waking up. That made him smile a gentle and pure grin, one that many of them had never seen before. Continuing to run her fingers through his short hair, she squatted down next to him and propped up his head that was constantly falling back down due to his sleepiness.
"Come on, sleepy child, it's morning."
"Child... Who's treating me like a child?!"
He got up almost as suddenly and clumsily as she did, making her fall on her butt from the shock. Zoro combed through his own hair a few times to realise that she had been babying him since a while back, and his face got red in a flash.
"You... Ugh, never mind. Let's go."
Snatching her hand in embarrassment, he held onto her wrist and dragged her to the kitchen, where everyone was waiting. Once the doors opened and everyone turned their heads, the two began blushing uncontrollably, while Usopp and Chopper leaned on each other, imitating their actions.
"Oh my darling!"
"Yes, my love?"
The two were clearly having the time of their lives, up until Zoro gifted them a steaming punch on the head. Sanji gave Zoro one back, chiding him for not covering her in a blanket or pillow.
"Don't you know ladies have colder bodies? What if she caught a cold, you idiot moss head?"
"Well actually, Zoro's body is quite warm, so..."
Sanji was ready to hear Zoro's voice barking back at him, but instead, he heard a soft voice taking his side. Everyone burst out in screams at the unusual mushy things she was saying, the whole kitchen turning into a scene of chaos: slaps on the table, wiggling of toes and twisted arms.
"Uh... everyone, are you okay?"
Surprised to see such a huge reaction from a factual statement, she looked around in wonder, when her eyes met with Zoro's. He quickly looked away, droplets of perspiration dripping down his forehead.
"Shut up everyone. Let's just eat."
"Okay lover boy~"
The whole crew burst out in laughter at Sanji teasing Zoro, and the chaos only ended when the two had enough of punching each other verbally and physically.
It was a morning of love.
To be continued~:3