In Hell it was busy cars were honking and we focus on building near a sign saying "welcome to imp city". Inside the building is a meeting going on and a demon in suit with large horns conducting it
Blitz: Alright now I know business has been a bit slow lately yes. And it's no one's fault okay I'm not naming any names here *under his breath* moxxie
The demon moxxie gives him a wtf look
Blitz: now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get drumming up again
Mille: What about a car wash!
Blitz: This is hell Millie no one cares about cars being clean here okay. Oh what about a bill board!
Donnie sitting next to Millie speaks out against blitz's idea
Donnie: Um we can't afford a billboard blitz sir
Blitz rushes up to Donnie
Blitz: oh great Don really glad your in the room right now *pushes him* does any forget the service we provide!
He turns on a little tv showing him hitting someone with a hammer, Moxxie blowing someone's brains out, Lonna chewing up some Millie cutting another's head off, And Raph stabbing someone in the eyes. As they watch it blitz's hands out popcorn
Blitz: ahh those were the good times
Moxxie: I don't need any reminding sir considering you blew most of our salary on an obnoxious tv ad last week one that you'd additionally paid to run on a full three hours nobody watches
Leo who sat next to Donnie was pretty upset bout that
Leo: Hold on he did what!
Donnie: yep
Blitz:uh hey excuse me what's obnoxious about a super fun jingle alright it's a fun distraction when an advertisement spiting bullshit
Mikey: People do like musicals unc
Mikey had said sitting next to Lonna who was on her phone
Mikey: Right Loona *elbowing her*
Loona had completely ignored him
Blitz: Exactly Mikey and we're basically doing a musical *jazz hands* are you gonna crush my musical theater dreams like my dad did.
Moxxie: Sir
Blitz: cause right now all I see is my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I really am inside.
Raph: Dude what are you talking about?
Raph states sitting next to Mikey
Mikey: Come on dad you can't someone's dream that's just not cool
Millie: yeah mox are ya?
Moxxie: I- what?
Mikey: and I thought I knew you
Blitz: I can't believe you moxxie after I made you employee of the month
Blitz pulls out a photo of moxxie who looks very crazed
Raph: Still think I'd should've gotten that.
Mikey: Hey there's always next time.
Moxxie: Ok sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theater no one actually likes the jingles
Raph/Mikey/Leo/Donnie: I mean it was kinda cool/ it seemed fun/ I thought it was interesting/ it seemed nice
Moxxie: Boys do not. Do not agree with him in front of me
Moxxie: I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target its very simple
Loona: oh sit on dick Moxxie.
Moxxie: YOU SIT- sit on a ugh DO YOUR JOB
Raph: Yeah comebacks aren't really your thing pops
Blitz: hey know we don't our screw ups on loona ok she didn't do anything wrong
Blitz hugs her as loona is completely angered by it
Donnie: Are you serious man she is so rude
Flashback 1
Loona was at the receptionist desk reading a magazine when the phone rang
Loona: Hello I.M.P
Millie: Loona I got stabbed call mox-
Loona immediately hangs up the phone
Leo: Hey loona have you seen my mom anywhere?
Loona: No blue boy
Flashback 2
Blitz and Mikey were holding gifts for Loona
Blitz and Mikey: Happy adoption anniversary loonie/ Loona
Mikey: We got gifts for you
Loona: is it a cure for syphilis
Blitz: i- we oh
Loona: THEN I DON'T WANT IT!
Loona smashes the boxes as spiders come out of one and crawl out on her a broken friendship bracelet pops out of the other.
Blitz: *out the window* I'm sorry it was spiders
Mikey: *out the window* do you like the bracelet I made it myself
Loona: god dammit
Flashback 3
Loona was watching a commercial on the computer at her desk and moxxie and Donnie had shown up with a paper
Donnie: Loona did you seriously fax my dad an ad for weight loss?
Loona: no
Moxxie: wha- why would anyone send me this?
Loona: Come one you know why. Right nerd boy
Donnie: That's not my name!
Flashback 4
In the break room Loona was going through the fridge for food as Millie and Raph watched
Loona: whoever left the fucking avocado salad in the fridge I'm taking cause I have the worst hangover right now
She opens and starts eating it immediately
Millie: Why would you drink on a work night?
Raph: isn't that my dad's lunch
Loona: I'm hungover from this morning dumbasses
Moxxie enters the room
Moxxie: isn't that my lunch?
Loona: You know what I can't take this assault right now I NEED BLOW OFF SOME FUCKING STEAM
loona kicks moxxie's lunch at him then runs outside screaming then kick and lady's baby away
Flashback 5
Loona had a call at the desk as blitz, moxxie and Leo we're getting water
Loona: Blitz that clinging rich asshole is on the phone says it's urgent wants to talk to you! Sounds a little dtfy
Leo: what's that?
Blitz: OH GOD IT WAS ONE TIME! If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole none of us would have access to the living world
Moxxie and Leo: You what?
End of the flashbacks
Blitz: look the point is Loona is a valued member of our family and we don't get rid of family
Moxxie: We aren't a family sir! You are the boss we are the employees, you treat her like she some troubled teenager she more like a meth addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!
Mikey: jeez dad
Blitz: that is offensive without homeless people I wouldn't have half the joy and laughter I do in this life
He looks out the window seeing a homeless man being for money as a lady ignores him. Blitz watches this with a smile on his face waving
Moxxie: while we're on the subject on "family" can you stop catching mine outside of work?
Millie: come on sweetie it's not that big a deal
Moxxie and the 4 : Excuse us WHAT?
Flashback 1
Moxxie and Millie were making dinner for the boys at their home
Moxxie: honey can you get me the butter?
Millie: sure sweetie
Blitz appears in the fridge handing Millie spoiled butter
Blitz: spoiler alert the butters spoiled
Millie: *giggles
Moxxie: what's funny honey
Blitz: really impressive wordplay
Moxxie: WHAT THE WHYA RE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE!
Flashback 2
The boy s we're all asleep in their room until they heard a bang and woke up seeing blitz in the corner
Blitz: watch y'all dreaming about?
Leo: well we were dreaming about being like everyone else and now we'd like to go back to that
Flashback 3
Moxxie and Millie were on their couch alone as the boys were out getting stuff. And moxxie finished a song for millie
Moxxie&millie: 🎵And of all the imps in hell it's for her that I fell/And of all the imps in hell it's for him that I fell🎵
Moxxie: oh Millie *about to kiss but looks out window* ARE YOU FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW?!
Present
Moxxie: just stop doing that
Blitz: I don't what the issue is something you don't want me seeing
Moxxie: No
Blitz: you a baby wiener haver
Moxxie: Sir what you say and how you is completely INAPPROPRIATE!
Leo: Dad chill out your gonna go into another one of your panic attacks
Moxxie: I AM CALM!
Moxxie goes into Millie's arms as she pays his head and he whimpers
Blitz: look I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside of work 👉👌 so don't judge me
Moxxie: oh do judge you sir quite a lot actually
Millie: mox he's our boss
Blitz: No no it's fine mills your husband just being how do I say this without being offensive retarted
Moxxie : does imaturly insulting me you feel better about your sad single life
Raph: burn
Blitz: it actually does
Loona: the only reason you have a wife is because your easy to manage
Millie: No he's not you bitch! * double flip off*
Blitz: do not talk to my receptionist she sensitive that way!
Loona: YES I AM!
Mikey: Woah woah how bout a joke to disarm the situation huh?
??: you guys are all fucking assholes
The person who spoke out was the child moxxie had shot accidentally.
Blitz: oh shut kid your lucky to witness this
Moxxie : ugh this company is such a mess
Blitz: Alright now let's get back to talking about my outfit
Donnie: who was talking about that?
Loona: yeah you have me agreeing with nerd boy
Donnie: are you serious!?
Blitz: which is why I'm try to get that ball rolling so how does it look it looks good right?
Eddie: It's been a literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me but now I what that. I want death! *points at blitz* you are a selfish greedy clown and I'm a kid we're supposed to like clowns even the creepy ones
Moxxie: hey now that's not very-
Eddie: If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit
Millie: That's my husband your talking about!
Eddie: HAHA! That's your husband? I'd figured you were a slut but i didn't think you needed sick that bad?!
Leo: Hey don't talk about our parents like that!
Donnie: yeah who do you think you are?!
Eddie: Ew what kind of skin disease did you freaks get to be even alive. I'm surprised they didn't they kill you when they saw you and you *points at loona*
Loona: what what about me?
Eddie: nothing I don't talk to dogs I'm a cat person
Raph: dang that kid tore us up
Blitz: yeah kid you kind of are a piece of shit
Loona: oh fuck! guys I just got text from our client guess he was the right target after all
Blitz: who?
Loona: him
Eddie: me?
Blitz: they wanted us to kill an actual child
Loona: that's what their saying
Blitz: we'll Christ on a stick I guess there is a god
He pulls out a gun and shoots the kid and it cuts to them beating up the kid as blitz does a voiceover
Blitz: *voiceover*you know folks wit this company I really wanted to prove that we're capable of the same thing anyone else can like killing people.
Cuts to the gang tearing up the kids body and placing it in a bag
Blitz: *voiceover* so from us here at the immediate murder professionals group we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money is gone and your never getting it back and you can right is a bad review and we'll play dumb to it because it's hell and no one fucking cares.
Blitz hugs the group after they dispose of the body
Blitz: you know even though this kid was a target he's still a child it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully
Cut to the human world a news broad goes with a mother crying over her kid as the bottom text reads "mom sucks at drawing own kid"
Woman: Please if anyone has seen my little Eddie please contact us at-
The bag with his body in her arms as the camera turns up to I.M.P
Raph: Your welcome also your kid sucks!
Leo : raph you can't say that!
Raph: shut up Leo
They all go back into the portal as it closes
Well that's the pilot done with a whopping 2020 words I really hope you enjoyed this