The episode opens with a shot of Imp City. Cars could be heard honking and the exterior of a building is shown. A door is then seen with a note that reads: Meeting In Progress, where 4 people sat at a long gray table, along with a slender tall imp next to a bulletin board.
"Alright, now I know business has been a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? Me and Madeline not naming any names here. Moxxie." He states quietly to himself while looking at the imp, supposedly named Moxxie, who gave him an offended glare. "Now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?"The tall imp asked his employees.
Blitzø waited for any of them to answer, looking at them from the front of the table. At the table were four other people. There was the partner of the business and partnership of the company, Madeline Buckzo, who was the wife of Blitzø, daughter of the Mad Hatter and owner of Wonderland Haberdashery & Tea Shoppe. Her hair is curly and wavy, and comes in three colors: dark turquoise, mint green, and dark purple or violet. She has bright blue-teal eyes and light skin. Her main fashion accessory theme is tea, which include a teacup hat; most of her outfits incorporate tea set-inspired details. In addition to her hair's colors, her clothes of choice feature yellow, black, and blue, which is called mad-tastic style combined with a vast array of non-synchronized patterns, her average look is a busy one, befitting her energetic personality. Her everyday look is a magenta puffy-sleeved layered dress with a blue bow around the waist. White leggings cover her legs. They are blue-spotted. She wears white-cream shoes with gold teapot-handle-resembling wedges or heels at the bottom of them. She wears teal-green gloves. Her gloves also have white puffs at the ends of them in all the cartoon, artworks, and doll lines. She has a magenta ring on both her right middle finger and ring finger on top of her right glove.
Sitting on Madeline's lap was Crumpets who was sleeping, getting pets from Madeline and sitting in Madeline's teacup hat was Earl Grey. Earl Gray and Crumpets were the Buckzo family pets and helpers of the company. There were two imps, Moxxie and Millie, who were married. Finally, the last person was the company's receptionist. She was a hellhound named Loona and was the adoptive daughter of Blitzø and Madeline. Millie, who was sitting beside Moxxie, spoke up first.
Millie spoke up. "What about a car wash?" She excitedly suggested.
"Mille, who in their right mind wants their car to be washed? No one cares if their cars are being washed. What kind of company do we think we are? And they called me mad." Madeline said.
"Exactly, Gummy Bear. Ooh! What about a billboard?" He thought aloud. Moxxie rolls eyes. "We can't afford a billboard, sir."
Yeah, he's got a point, Blitzy." Madeline said to her husband. "Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now." Blitzø said to Moxxie, then looked at Madeline. "Thank you my little cupcake for telling me that!" Blitzø told Maddie as he gave her a kiss on the lips.
"Perhaps we could merge the company with my Wonderland Haberdashery & Tea Shoppe business. That way we get more clients and customers at the same time. I see and overhear customers talking about their problems to each other at my tea shoppe. And plus no one can my tea and bake goods I serve there." Maddie said as Earl Grey squeaked in agreement.
"That's a great idea Madz! Who would say no to your baked goods you sell at your tea shop? I wouldn't! We can give people a discount for the people who go to your tea shop! Oh, where would I be without my mad woman by my side." Blitzø said as he kissed her on the cheek with her giggling.
Moxxie was about to say something before he cut himself off. "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?" Blitzø said as he turned on the T.V. Showing Blitzø hitting someone with a mallet with blood splattering everywhere, Moxxie holding a gun against someone, then shooting him with him flying off, Madeline slashing someone open with her vorpal blade, Loona viciously biting someone while they scream in agony, Crumpets breathing fire on someone as they scream in agony, Earl Grey digging around inside a person body, eating them from the inside before coming out of the person's mouth, and Millie cutting someone's head off with a spear as she giggled maliciously. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV. All the employees were watching while eating popcorn. Millie and Moxxie were sitting next to each other, Loona was on the other side, and Blitzø and Madeline were handing out the popcorn Madeline made.
"Ah, those were the good times..." Blitzø sat down with Madeline as he wrap his tail around her and held a teacup for her to pour tea in it. Crumpet woke up from her nap from the smell of the popcorn and ate the popcorn along with Earl Grey who popped his head from the bowl while holding a popcorn and eating it.
"I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches..." Moxxie stated in frustration as Millie happily ate some popcorn.
Blitzø got up. "Uh, hey, excuse me! What's 'obnoxious' about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!" All the employees had sat down on the table while he talked.
"People love musicals, sir!" Millie told her boss. "Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doing a musical! Are you gonna crush my musical theater dreams like my dad did?" Blitzø said as he raised his fist and looked down. "Sir-" "'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside." Madeline patted him on the back.Crumpets and Earl Grey were growling and squeaking angrily at Moxxie for insulting Blitzø. Millie leaned in. "Are you trying to crush his dreams Moxxie?" "I‐- What?" "I thought I knew you..." Millie flirted towards her husband. "I can't believe you Moxxie! After I made you employee of the month!" Blitzø holds up an 'employee-of-the-month' plaque with a photo of Moxxie, which the picture fell from the frame to reveal Madeline smiling cutely to the camera.
"Okay, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theater. Nobody actually likes the jingles." "I liked it!" Millie says. "Hey! I worked very hard on the commercial. You don't know how hard it is to find the latest music trends and use it for our commercial." Maddie said angrily. Moxxie started to grow tense. "Do not-- Do not agree with him in front of me." Moxxie pointed at Millie.
The scene then cuts to the I.M.P commercial.
"Hi, there! I'm Blitzo! The "o" is silent."
Maddie pops up from below the screen like a jack in a box. "HI! I'm Madeline, but people called me Maddie me for short. I'm his wife!" Blitzø then kissed Maddie on the cheek. "And we are the founders of I.M.P!" Blitzø said.They gestured to the I.M.P logo behind them before it disappeared. Two pictures of Blitzo and Maddie in different scenarios show while he speaks. The first shows him wearing two top hats through his horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building that Crumpets was breathing fire on with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears. The second shows Maddie wearing an angel costume happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a recycling bin at her tea shoppe. "Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!" Blitzo and Maddie asked.
Maddie held Earl Grey in her hand as he held up a sign that said, 'Some guy who hired us!!' With a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, "After lovingly killing my wife for FUCKING A DELIVER MAN! You could imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could stick to that YAPPY JOGGER who saw me hiding the body!"
While Blitzø is speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, Moxxie, Millie, Maddie, Crumpets and Earl Gray are arranging lit candles on the floor in a circle.''Well, luckily for you, thanks to our company's special access to the living world-" his eyes narrow as he does a magical gesture with his left hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie, Millie, Maddie, Crumpets and Earl Grey are blown out of shot. He walks up to the portal. "We can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!" He says as he falls backwards in the portal.
♫When you want somebody gone♫
[A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up.]
♫And you don't want to wait too long♫
[Moxxie, Blitzø, Maddie, Crumpets, Earl Grey and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitzø holds his arms out as Moxxie holds up his rifle, Millie holds up her spear, and Madeline holds up her hobby horse, Earl Grey holding up the Vorpal Blade while sitting on Maddie's shoulder and Crumpets flying to the logo, shrinking down small so she could land on top of Blitzø's head. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The sextet together form a letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.
♫Call the Immediate Murder Professionals♫
[Blitzø, Moxxie, Madeline, Crumpets, Earl Grey and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The sextet covers where their ears would be as an explosion goes off.]
♫Hand grenade or cyanide♫ [Blitzø is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note.] ♫We'll make it look like suicide♫ [Blitzø is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, Maddie is shown shooting someone with a teapot cannon, Crumpets eating someone alive, Earl Grey stuffing someone with clockwork bombs watching as they explode and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.}
♫The Immediate Murder Professionals♫
[The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzø creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. He is followed by Millie, Madeline (Earl Grey was in her teacup hat), Crumpets and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.
♫We do our job so well♫ [The sextet come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves, and then frown.] because we come straight up from hell♫
[We see that the sextet has teleported to a church as a female preacher and the congregation look back at the demons in confusion and/or fear.]
♫We'll kill your husband or your wife.♫
[Millie is shown stabbing a couple who are in 69 position, while Moxxie tries to look away, and Blitzo examines a pair of panties, Madeline laughing like a mad woman falling onto the floor kicking her legs in the air at the sight, and Earl Grey and Crumpets rummaging around the house for any loot.]
[In the next scene, Blitzo is stabbing someone's head, while sporting a goofy expression.] ♫We'll even let you keep the knife♫
[A quick sequence then shows the sextet assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the sextet are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman from behind.]
♫We're the Immediate Murder Profession--♫
Moxxie shot a kid accidentally and looked in disbelief. So they took him to a hospital. One of the nurses brought him to the emergency room. "Doctor, he's not responding!" The female nurse said with an oddly deep voice. "More water stat!" Another nurse with blue hair exclaimed. The female nurse threw a bucket of water, but all the nurse did was hurt the kid even more. "That didn't do anything!" The blue nurse panicked. Until the doctor brought out 6 paddles to give the kid an electric shock. "I'm not losing another one!" He said as he gave the other nurses a pair of paddles as well. "Clear!" The doctor shouted as the three gave him an electric shock, which resulted in the kid reviving. "Holy shit, it actually worked." The doctor said, astonished.
He came out with a couple of papers, while Blitzø was reading a book with Earl Grey on his shoulder reading alongside him, Madeline was stroking Crumpets back, and Millie was comforting Moxxie.
"He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. What insurance provider do you freaks have?" All six of the demons looked confused. "The fuck is insurance?!" Blitzo asked in confusion.
"Would you take a coupon for Wonderland Haberdashery & Tea Shoppe as payment?" Maddie asked as she gave a coupon to the doctor. Which led all six of them into jumping out the window with the kid still in a hospital bed.
Kids die for free~
It eventually cuts back into the workplace with the typical 5 demons, a dragon and a mouse. Millie rested her head on her hand, Moxxie was lecturing Loona, and Loona was on her phone displaying different ways to kill Moxxie as she showed it to Earl Grey and Crumpets.
"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple." Moxxie expressed condescendingly.
Loona rolled her eyes. "Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie."
"You sit! Sit on...a-- and the d-- Do your job!" He said, trying to form a comeback. Blitzø stood up. "Hey, now we don't blame our screwups on Loona! She didn't do anything wrong!" "Don't act like the big bad wolf to Loona, Moxxie!" Blitzø and Maddie said as they nuzzled into Loona, while she growled, clearly not liking his affection.
"Are you kidding me, sir and ma'am? She's awful!" Moxxie tells his boss as different memories flash by.
Loona is at her desk, reading a magazine called 'Hellhound Monthly'. Her desk phone rings with the sound of a cute puppy barking as the ringtone. Loona answers. "Hello, I.M.P." She says in a monotone voice. Millie was on the other line, frantically telling her something. "Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox-" Loona hangs, obviously disinterested in helping her.
Another flashback appears, with Blitzø and Madeline about to give her a gift. "Happy adoption anniversary, sweetie!" Madeline said excitedly. "We got you a little somethin'!" Blitzø said as he and Madeline winked at each other. "Is it a cure for syphilis?" Loona told her adoptive parents, while she crossed her arms. Madeline immediately frowned, Earl Grey pat Madeline's cheek to comfort her. . "I...oh." Loona snatches the present and throws it on the floor. "Then I don't want it!" A swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and cover Loona up to her head. "Ugh!" Blitzø and Madeline are suddenly hiding behind one of the windows. "I'm sorry, you love spiders!" Maldeline said as it was muffled. "God dammit." Loona said.
Loona is then shown at her desk, watching an online video of Charlie performing 'Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow' while drinking tea. Moxxie approaches her with a flier for 'Chub B Gone'. "Um, excuse me, did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?" "No." Loona said without looking away from her computer. "Wha-- Why-why would anyone send me this?" Moxxie, a little unhinged, spoke. "Come on, you know why." Loona told Moxxie as she looked up from her computer.
Later, it cuts to Loona looking through the break room fridge. "Whoever left the fucking avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now." Loona turns around to face Millie with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot. Loona rips off the lid and drinks the salad, which for some reason, is in liquid form. While Crumpets and Earl Grey were sitting on the counter eating the cookies that Madeline made from the cookie jar. "Why would you drink on a work night?" Millie questioned. Loona stops 'drinking' the salad. "I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!" Moxxie enters the room and notices Loona with the box. "Isn't that my lunch?" Moxxie asked. Loona drops the box on the floor. "You know what? I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some fucking steam!" She says as she kicks the box to Moxxie, knocking him out of the room. Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street. "Aaaaaaaaah!" Loona runs up to a demon lady passing by, pushing her baby in a stroller. She kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief.
It soon switches to another flashback with Loona at her desk, telling Blitzø and Madeline about a caller while they were having tea time. "Blitzø, Madeline, that clingy rich asshole is on the phone. Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you. Sounds a little DTF-y."
"I told you we can use my powers of wonderland and rabbit holes to get access to the living world. But no! You made it difficult. You insisted that we need the grimoire to access the living world! I'm still pretty salty about it and how we got that book!" Maddie said angrily to Blitzø as she drank her tea.
Blitzo throws his teacup of tea on the floor. "Oh, God, it was one time! If me and Maddie hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world!" Moxxie in stunned silence. "You both what?"
Transition to Stolas's house. Stolas is sleeping naked in bed, hooting like an owl and his feathers are everywhere. Blitzo, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in his hand, while Madeline was in cyan blue robe with Earl Gray in her robe pocket sleeping.
"Got the booook, Got the booook! Got this fuckin' heavy book!"
Blitzo and Madeline reach stolas's balcony, he lays the grimoire on the ledge turning to Madeline smirking. "Doesn't this remind you of our wedding night together?" Madeline pushed Blitzo face away from her. "Yeah except we didn't have a third person in bed with us during our wedding night." Madeline argued back.
Grunting, they attempt to step up on the ledge using the grimoire. Instead, the combined weight sends them all falling forward off of the balcony.
"Oh- Oh, SHIT!!" Blitzo and Maddie shouted as they fell.
Madeline grabbed Blitzo's tail, pulled out her umbrella and opened it up hoping to slow their fall down but it was too late. Blitzø lands on stolas's wife's cake, splattering it everywhere, Madeline lands on top of blitzø as he sits up only to fall back with a groan of pain as more cake is splattered.
Madeline smiles sheepishly. "Uh, sorry we fucked your husband."
Blitzø sits up before hopping off the table, Madeline in his arms as he runs off carrying Madeline who has the grimoire in her hands with Crumpet coming out her hiding spot in the bushes, grow larger, had Blitzo and Maddie climb onto her back and taking off into the sky.
It cuts back to the office.
"BLIIIITZO! MADELINE!!!" Loona shouted.
"WE HEARD YOU ALREA--!" Blitzo yelled back but it cut off.
The scene cuts to Blitzo and Madeline in their office, Blitzo talking with Stolas, and tickling Earl Grey's belly while Madeline was sitting on top of the desk, cross legged.
"Sooooo, what can Maddie and I do for you this time, Stolas?" Blitzo asked
Stolas is shown talking on his phone from a fancy mansion.
"There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!" Stolas said.
"Doesn't it?" Blitzo asked as he stops tickling Earl Grey's belly.
"Well... yes. But, more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~" Stolas said, smirking.
"Okay, well. Yeah, that makes sense." Madeline said.
"You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy? Minnie?" Stolas asked through the phone.
Blitzo pulls his phone away and talks to himself and Madeline gets off from the desk.
"God-fuckin'-dammit." Blitzo said under his breath as he held up a teacup for Madeline as she poured tea in it.
"When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red {bleeped) of yours... {bleeped), lick on that ##### of yours.your {bleeped) and lick all of your (bleeped), be suffocate in your ****. before taking out your (bleeped), lick your **** and ****, and--"and (bleeped) with more teeth until you're screaming (bleeped) like a FUCKING baby--!" Stolas said through the phone.
Blitzo, who's visibly disturbed, hangs up along with Madeline who had a disturbed looked on her face as she overfill Blitzo's teacup with tea before having the tea kettle slipped from her grasp as it fell to the floor, breaking into pieces.
He breaks his cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, pulls out a blender, puts the pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzo turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.
"Eat this! And then you know that bridge over the freeway?" Loona drinks the blended cellphone mixture as Blitzø continues. "Yeah?" "Shit off it!" Blitzø stated visibly angry.
Then the flashback ends, and Blitzø and Madeline are standing by Loona. "Look, the point is Loona's a valued member of our family, and you don't get rid of family." Loona looks up from her phone and smiles, touched by Madeline's words. "We aren't a family, Mademoiselle! You and your husband are the bosses! We are the employees! You both treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!"
As Loona continues looking at her phone, she slowly gives the middle finger to Moxxie. "That is offensive! Without homeless people, I wouldn't have half the joy and laughter I do in this life! Well, besides Madeline." Blitzo puts his face up against the window, cracking it, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads 'Monee helps. Satan bless.' A female demon is on her cell phone and ignores the hobo.
Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window. "While we're on the subject of 'family', can you both stop finding me and Millie outside of work?" Millie tried to console her husband. "Come on, Sweetie! It's not that big a deal!" He was about to crack. "Excuse me, what?!"
It eventually cuts to a flashback of Moxxie and Millie preparing dinner in their kitchen. "Honey, can you get me the butter?" Millie turned towards the fridge as she replied sweetly. "Sure, Sweetie!" Millie opens the fridge door and finds Blitzo and Madeline inside as Blitzo hands her the butter.
"Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!"
"Tea?"
Millie giggles at her best friend and boss, she then pulls out her teacup and has Madeline pour tea for her. "What's funny, Honey?" Blitzø and Madeline were crouched down so they could both squeeze in. "Really impressive word play." Moxxie was shocked at this. "What the?! Why are you in our fridge?!"
Later that evening, Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. Moxxie is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens his eyes and sees Blitzø and Madeline standing on him, looking him right in the eyes. "Whatcha dreamin' about?" Blitzø playfully questioned. "I was dreaming about my parents being murdered, but now, I'd like to go back to that."
It switches again and Moxxie is singing the end of "Oh, Millie", as Millie joins in on some parts.
♫Of all the imps in hell! It's for her that I fell!♫
♫It's for him that I fell!♫
♫Oh, Millie!♫
They close their eyes for a tender kiss, but Moxxie notices Blitzø and Madeline outside the window with a camcorder. "Are you fucking filming us right now?!"
The flashback ends as we cut back to the board room. "Just. Stop. Doing. That!" Blitzø shrugs it off. "I don't see what the issue is! Is there something you don't want me seeing?" Moxxie twitches his eyes in anger. "Your baby-weiner-haver?" Blitzø says as Loona snickers, while Earl Gray and Crumpets laugh.
"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally inappropriate!" Moxxie stands from his chair and Millie lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder. "Calm down, Mox. You're gonna have another panic attack!" "I AM CALM!!" Moxxie starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzø as Millie comforts him. "Shh. Shh. There, there."
"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside work hours, so don't judge me and Maddie's actions either!" Blitzø motions his hands to imply sexual activity. "Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot actually!" "Mox, he's your boss and so am I!" Madeline tried to defend Blitzø. "No no no, it's fine Maddie, our employee is just...How do I say this without being offensive...Retarded." Blitzø said smugly.
"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, pathetic life?" Blitzo leans towards Moxxie. "It actually does. Besides, I have Madeline!" Blitzø pulls in Madeline for a side hug as she holds Crumpets in her arms with Earl Grey on her shoulder. Loona looks away from her phone, looking at Moxxie. "The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!" Millie slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger. No he's not, you bitch!" She gestures at Loona with two middle fingers. Loona growls at Millie. "Do not talk to our receptionist that way! She's sensitive!" Blitzo said.
Loona snaps her jaws at Millie. "Yes, I am!" A random kid started to talk. "You guys are all fucking assholes."
Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Madeline, Crumpets, Earl Grey and Loona look at the kid, who was lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.
"Oh shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!" "Ugh, this company is such a mess!" Moxxie pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright, let's go back to talking about my outfit." "Nobody was talking about that!" Loona replied, slightly confused. "Which is why I'm trying to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?" The kid points at Blitzø. "It's been a literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed, so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me!" The kid detaches the tubes of the heart monitor.
"But now, I want that. I want death!" The kid points at Blitzø again. "You are a selfish, greedy clown! And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns, even the creepy ones!"
"Hey now, that's not very-" Moxxie got cut off by the kid. "If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit!" "That's my husband you're talking to!"
The kid laughs rudely. "That's your husband?!"Moxxie and Millie snarl at the kid. "I figured you were a slut, but I didn't know you needed dick that bad!" He diverts his attention to Maddie who glares at him back.
"You know, for a little kid, you sure are a dickhead!" The kid cackles once again. "Really?! And you're any better?! At least I didn't hook up with random bitches with those clothes you're wearing and with that ugly hair color! And who keeps mice and dragons as pets. What are you? Cinderella or the Wicked Witch?" Madeline, Crumpets and Earl Grey growled at the assumption.
As Madeline brought out her vorpal blade and was ready to slice and dice him up as Crumpets was flying began to breath out fire while Earl Grey pulled out a Jabberwock's Eye Staff. "LEMME AT HIM! LEMME AT HIM! But was held back by Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzø. Loona pinned Crumpets down to the table, grabbed Maddie's tea kettle and poured tea in Crumpets's mouth to extinguish the fire in her mouth. Loona placed a heavy object on Earl Grey's tail, preventing him from running. Millie whispered towards Madeline.
"You know, we can't kill this kid unless he's our target. So we can't hurt him, ok? As tempting as it is." Madeline put her vorpal blade away and tried to relax. Back to the kid. "And you!" Loona, finishing extinguishing Crumpets's fire with tea, looked up. "What? What about me?"
The kid crosses his arms "Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person." Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at him with anger, and goes back to looking at her phone as she strokes Crumpets's back to calm her down and lift the heavy object off of Earl Grey's tail who was holding his sore tail and rubbing it. Blitzø crossed his arms. "Wow. You know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit." The rest of his associates mumbled in agreement.
Then Loona received a text message that made her go shocked. "Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client. Guess he was the right target after all." "Who?" Maddie asked. "Him." Loona pointed towards the brat. "Me?" "Yup." Blitzø wasn't too sure about this at first. "They wanted us to kill an actual child?" "That's what they're saying'." Loona smirked.
"Well, Christ on a stick, I guess there is a genie who grants wishes!" Maddie said as she and her lover brought out a flintlock pistol and Blunderbuss and fired it at the kid, instantly killing him.
Blood covers the screen, then reveals Blitzo and Moxxie kicking the kid's corpse, Millie stabbing him, Crumpets and Earl Grey tearing him up and mauling him, Madeline whipping him with her fire whip and Loona recording everything on her phone.
Blitzo: [voiceover] You know, folks, with this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable [Blitzo and Moxxie are shown dismembering Eddie's body with a wood saw and a chainsaw respectively] of doing the same things anyone else can! Like killing people! [Blood splats on the screen again, then shows the group by a dumpster putting the kid's body parts in a garbage bag.] So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money...is gone and you're never getting it back and you can write us a bad review, [Blitzo hugs Moxxie, Millie, Madeline (Earl Grey is in her teacup hat), Crumpets and Loona, whose phone flies out of his hands.] but we'll play dumb to it, because it's hell and no one fucking cares.
"You know, even though this kid was a target, he's still a child. And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully." He says as he wraps his tail around Millie, Loona, Madeline, Crumpets and Moxxie. Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Crumpets, Earl Grey and Madeline smile. "And we could leave them a parting gift too." Maddie said as she pulled out a cupcake, having Blitzo catch on with her plan.
It then cuts to a newscast, showing Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on screen says "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar reads 'There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!' "Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at--" Eddie's body bag and a container full of a dozen cupcakes is suddenly dropped into her arms. "Ohh!" Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up, as the camera follows their gaze. Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Maddie wearing an apron are shown looking down on them through a portal. Blitzo waves. "You're welcome!"
"Enjoy the cupcakes!" Maddie exclaimed.
Then the quadrio disappears in the portal.
END
A/N: Blitz may be a coffee lover but he'll drink tea if it made by Maddie. Because the way Maddie makes and brews tea is very special, very tasty and very delicious. He won't drink tea if it not made by Maddie