σɾɳιƚԋαʂ (ρʝσ x ɱαʅҽ σƈ)

By MK11_EGY

64.6K 1.9K 527

Theo Miller was a normal kid, or so he thought... The Lightning Thief: ✅ The Sea of Monsters: ✅ The Titan's C... More

CAST I
CAST II
CAST III
THE LIGHTNING THIEF
I Take My Driver's Test 4 Years Early
I Wake Up
I Get A Tour of Camp Half-Blood
I Play Capture the Flag
I'm Accused of Helping My Friend Steal Oppenheimer's Worst Nightmare
I Destroy a Bus Keanu Reeves Style
I Almost Get Stoned
I Say Hi to a Poodle
I Blow Up the Gateway Arch
I Have Lunch with the God of War
I Hitch a Ride to Vegas
I Go Shopping for Water Beds
I'm on the Highway to Hell
I Meet the Lord of the Dead
I Go Toe-to-Toe with the God of War
I Go on a Trip to Olympus
I Learn How it Feels to be Betrayed
THE SEA OF MONSTERS
I Pick Up a Friend
I Play Some Dodgeball
I Hail a Cab
I Go Bull Fighting
I Meet My Best Friend's Brother
I Get Attacked by Some Pigeons
I Get Some Help from Granddad
I Board the Princess Andromeda
I Tussle for Donuts
I Survive a Ship Battle
I Get a Makeover
I Almost Hear a Siren Song
I Find a Sheep-Loving Cyclops
I Finally Get the Golden Fleece
I End Up in Miami Beach
I Go for a Race Win
I Get the Shock of My Life
THE TITAN'S CURSE
I Screw Up a Rescue Operation
I Lose Someone Else
I Get a Ride from My Uncle
I Kinda Get a Little Angry
I Play Capture the Flag Again
I Decide to Sneak Out
I Meet a Couple of Kitties
I Get an Aston Martin
I Tussle with a Giant Pig
I Dig Through the Gods' Junkyard
I am Getting Tired of These Dam Skeletons
I Meet the Sea Cow
I Meet the Parents & a Deadly Dragon
I Shoulder Press a Few Million Pounds
I Go Back to Olympus
I End Up on a 10-Year-Old's Shit List
THE BATTLE OF THE LABYRINTH
I Get Stuck in the Darkness
I Battle the Cheerleading Squad
I Meet the Swordsman
We Play Tag with Scorpions
We Go to a War Council
We Dive Back into the Darkness
We Break into Alcatraz
We Pass by a Ranch
We Jump the Three-Chested Prick
We Screw Up a Game Show
We Meet the Forge God
We Attend a Funeral
We End Up in a Gladiator Fight
We Finally Reach the Workshop
We Witness the Rise of the Mad Titan
We Finally Find the Lost God
We Fight the First Battle of a New War
We're No Good at Goodbyes
THE LAST OLYMPIAN
The Sinking of a Monster Ship
The Loss of a Dear Friend
The Less-Than-Sane Mumblings of a Mother
The Permission of a Parent
The Words of a Dead Lord
The Curse of Achilles
The Final Moment of Serenity
The First Night of the Battle of Manhattan
A Negotiation with a Titan
The Second Night of the Battle of Manhattan
The Return of a Familiar Face
The Near Loss of Hope
The Last Stand for Olympus
The Aftermath of the War
The New Oracle of Delphi
NEW BOOK

I Meet a Certain Blonde Bastard

510 19 5
By MK11_EGY

Theo's POV

The stateroom was beautiful, and it was horrible at the same time.

The beautiful part: Huge windows curved along the back wall, looking out over the stern of the ship. Green sea and blue sky stretched all the way to the horizon. A Persian rug covered the floor. Two plush sofas occupied the middle of the room, with a canopied bed in one corner and a mahogany dining table in the other. The table was loaded with food--pizza boxes, bottles of soda, and a stack of roast beef sandwiches on a silver platter.

The horrible part: On a velvet dais at the back of the room lay a ten-foot-long golden casket. A sarcophagus, engraved with Ancient Greek scenes of cities in flames and heroes dying grisly deaths. Despite the sunlight streaming through the windows, the casket made the whole room feel cold.

Luke: Well. A little nicer than Cabin Eleven, huh?

He'd changed since the last summer. Instead of Bermuda shorts and a Tshirt, he wore a button-down shirt, khaki pants, and leather loafers. His sandy hair, which used to be so unruly, was now clipped short. He looked like an evil male model, showing off what the fashionable college-age villain was wearing to Harvard this year.

He still had the scar under his eye-a jagged white line from his battle with a dragon. And propped against the sofa was his magical sword—which Percy told me Luke called Backbiter—glinting strangely with its half-steel, half-Celestial bronze blade that could kill both mortals and monsters.

Theo: I like it. It really reflects your bitch-ass personality.

Luke: (chuckles) Nice to see you haven't changed much, Theo. Sit.

He waved his hand and four dining chairs scooted themselves into the center of the room.

None of us sat.

Luke's large friends were still pointing their javelins at us. They looked like twins, but they weren't human. They stood about eight feet tall, for one thing, and wore only blue jeans, probably because their enormous chests were already shag-carpeted with thick brown fur. They had claws for fingernails, and feet like paws. Their noses were snout-like, and their teeth were all pointed canines.

Luke: Where are my manners? These are my assistants, Agrius and Oreius. Perhaps you've heard of them.

No one said anything. I've wanted to beat the ever-loving shit out of Luke for a whole year. But now that he was right in front of me, I couldn't stop my hand from shaking.

Luke: You don't know Agrius and Oreius's story? Their mother ... well, it's sad, really. Aphrodite ordered the young woman to fall in love. She refused and ran to Artemis for help. Artemis let her become one of her maiden huntresses, but Aphrodite got her revenge. She bewitched the young woman into falling in love with a bear. When Artemis found out, she abandoned the girl in disgust.

I clenched my fists, trying to stop myself from lunging at Luke and punching that nasty scar right off his face.

Luke: Typical of the gods, wouldn't you say? They fight with one another, and the poor humans get caught in the middle. The girl's twin sons here, Agrius and Oreius, have no love for Olympus. They like half-bloods well enough, though...

Agrius: For lunch.

His brother Oreius laughed, licking his fur-lined lips. He kept laughing like he was having an asthmatic fit until Luke and Agrius both stared at him.

Agrius: Shut up, you idiot! Go punish yourself!

Oreius whimpered. He trudged over to the corner of the room, slumped onto a stool, and banged his forehead against the dining table, making the silver plates rattle.

Luke acted like this was perfectly normal behavior. He made himself comfortable on the sofa and propped his feet up on the coffee table.

Luke: Well, Percy, we let you survive another year. I hope you appreciated it. How's your mom? How's school? (turns to Theo) What about you? How's David?

Percy: You poisoned Thalia's tree.

Luke: (sighs) Right to the point, eh? Okay, sure I poisoned the tree. So what?

Annabeth: How could you?! Thalia saved your life! Our lives! How could you dishonor her—

Luke: I didn't dishonor her! The gods dishonored her, Annabeth! If Thalia were alive, she'd be on my side.

Annabeth: Liar!

Luke: If you knew what was coming, you'd understand—

Annabeth: I understand you want to destroy the camp! You're a monster!

Luke: (shakes his head) The gods have blinded you. Can't you imagine a

world without them, Annabeth? What good is that ancient history you study? Three thousand years of baggage! The West is rotten to the core. It has to be destroyed. Join me! We can start the world anew. We could use your intelligence, Annabeth.

Annabeth: Because you have none of your own!

Luke: I know you, Annabeth. You deserve better than tagging along on some hopeless quest to save the camp. Half-Blood Hill will be overrun by monsters within the month. The heroes who survive will have no choice but to join us or be hunted to extinction. You really want to be on a losing team with company like this?

He pointed at Tyson.

Percy: HEY!

Luke: Traveling with a Cyclops. Talk about dishonoring Thalia's memory! I'm surprised at you, Annabeth. You of all people—

Annabeth: STOP IT!

Theo: Leave her alone, asshole! And leave Tyson out of it!

Luke: (laughs) Oh, yeah, I heard. Percy's father claimed him.

What? How'd he know?

Luke: (smiles)Yes, Percy, I know all about that. And about your plan to find the Fleece. What were those coordinates, again...30, 31, 75, 12? You see, I still have friends at camp who keep me posted.

Percy: Spies, you mean.

Luke: (shrugs) How many insults from your father can you stand, Percy? You think he's grateful to you? You think Poseidon cares for you any more than he cares for this monster?

Tyson clenched his fists and made a rumbling sound down in his throat.

Luke: (chuckles) The gods are so using you, Percy. Do you have any idea what's in store for you if you reach your sixteenth birthday? Has Chiron even told you the prophecy?

Wait, what does that have to do with anything right now?

Percy: I know what I need to know. Like, who my enemies are.

Luke: Then you're a fool.

Tyson smashed the nearest dining chair to splinters.

Tyson: PERCY IS NOT A FOOL!

Before anyone could stop him, he charged Luke. His fists came down toward Luke's head—a double overhead blow that would've knocked a hole in titanium—but the bear twins intercepted. They each caught one of Tyson's arms and stopped him cold. They pushed him back and Tyson stumbled. He fell to the carpet so hard the deck shook.

Luke: Too bad, Cyclops. Looks like my grizzly friends together are more than a match for your strength. Maybe I should let them—

Theo: Luke, listen to me. Hermes sent us.

His face turned the color of pepperoni.

Luke: Don't. Even. Mention him.

Theo: He told us to take this boat. He wanted to tell you that he was sorry.

Luke: (scoffs) Sorry? Screw that! He abandoned me, Theo! Just like your mother abandoned you!

If it weren't for Annabeth having a vice grip on my forearm, I would've attacked him.

Luke: I want Olympus destroyed! Every throne crushed to rubble! You tell Hermes it's going to happen, too. Each time a half-blood joins us, the Olympians grow weaker, and we grow stronger. He grows stronger.

Luke pointed to the gold sarcophagus. I was a bit freaked out by it, but I didn't show it.

Theo: So what? What's so special about a big—

Then it hit me, what might be inside the sarcophagus. The temperature in the room seemed to drop twenty degrees.

Theo: No...

Luke: He is re-forming. Little by little, we're calling his life force out of the pit. With every recruit who pledges our cause, another small piece appears—

Annabeth: That's disgusting!

Luke: Your mother was born from Zeus's split skull, Annabeth. I wouldn't talk. Soon there will be enough of the titan lord so that we can make him whole again. We will piece together a new body for him, a work worthy of the forges of Hephaestus.

Annabeth: You're insane.

Luke: Join us and you'll be rewarded. We have powerful friends, sponsors rich enough to buy this cruise ship, and much more. Percy, your mother will never have to work again. You can buy her a mansion. You can have power, fame—whatever you want. (turns to Theo) Theo, you can bring Eric back to life. Even Alexios if you want.

How did he know about Alexios?

Theo: Keep his damn name out your fucking mouth!

Luke: (turns to Annabeth) Annabeth, you can realize your dream of being an architect. You can build a monument to last a thousand years. A temple to the lords of the next age!

Annabeth: Go to Tartarus.

Luke: (sighs) A shame.

He picked up something that looked like a TV remote and pressed a red button. Within seconds the door of the stateroom opened, and two uniformed crew members came in, armed with nightsticks. They had the same glassy-eyed look as the other mortals I'd seen, but I had a feeling this wouldn't make them any less dangerous in a fight.

Luke: Ah, good, security. I'm afraid we have some stowaways.

Guards: Yes, sir.

Luke: (turns to Oreius) It's time to feed the Aethiopian drakon. Take these fools below and show them how it's done.

Oreius grinned stupidly.

Agrius: Let me go, too. My brother is worthless. That Cyclops—

Luke: Is no threat.

He glanced back at the golden casket as if something were troubling him.

Luke: Agrius, stay here. We have important matters to discuss.

Agrius: But—

Luke: Oreius, don't fail me. Stay in the hold to make sure the drakon is properly fed.

Oreius prodded us with his javelin and herded us out of the stateroom, followed by the two human security guards.

As I walked down the corridor with Oreius's javelin poking me in the back, I thought about what Luke had said—that the bear twins together were a match for Tyson's strength. But maybe separately...

We exited the corridor amidships and walked across an open deck lined with lifeboats. I knew the ship well enough to realize this would be our last look at sunlight. Once we got to the other side, we'd take the elevator down into the hold, and that would be it.

Theo: Okay, before you take us down there, there's something I have to tell you...

Oreius stopped and faced me, prompting all of us to stop.

Theo: I'm fresh out of honey!

Oreius looked offended.

Percy: (to Tyson) Now!

Thank the gods, he understood. He turned and smacked Oreius thirty feet backward into the swimming pool, right into the middle of the zombie tourist family.

Kids: AH! We are not having a blast in the pool!

One of the security guards drew his nightstick, but Annabeth knocked the wind out of him with a well-placed kick. The other guard ran for the nearest alarm box.

Annabeth: Stop him!

Too late.

Just before Percy banged him on the head with a deck chair, he hit the alarm. Red lights flashed. Sirens wailed.

Percy: Lifeboats!

Theo: Go! I'll meet you there!

Before they could question me, I used my flying to get up the ship's roof. I materialized my bow and quiver and started shooting as many guards as I could, clearing a back for Percy, Theo, and Annabeth as they ran for one of the lifeboats.

I made sure I didn't kill the guards. They're entranced. It's not their fault they're working for Scarface.

As I shot, I saw Luke get onto the main deck and see me on the roof. He looked more confused than angry.

Luke: (confused) What are you doing? Don't walk on my roof.

Theo: FUCK YOUR ROOF! BING-BONG! SELAS!

A glowing silver arrow flew at the floor directly below Luke's feet. He got sent flying into the swimming pool.

After a few seconds, I flew off the roof and landed next to the lifeboat that Percy, Annabeth, and Tyson were heading in.

Percy: Really, Miller?!

Theo: It worked, didn't it?!

Annabeth: How do you launch this thing?!

A hellhound leaped at me, but Tyson slammed it aside with a fire extinguisher.

Percy: GET IN!

I activated my shield and blocked the first volley of arrows.

The lifeboat was hanging over the side of the ship, high above the water. Annabeth and Tyson were having no luck with the release pulley.

Theo: PERCY, TAKE OUT YOUR SWORD!

Percy uncapped Riptide.

Theo: HANG ON!

Percy and I cut the ropes. A shower of arrows whistled over our heads as we free-fell toward the ocean.

Percy: THERMOS!

Annabeth: WHAT?!

She was holding on to the boat straps for dear life, her hair flying straight up like a torch.

Tyson managed to open Percy's duffel bag and take out a thermos without losing his grip on it or the boat.

Arrows and javelins whistled past us.

Percy grabbed the thermos.

Percy: HANG ON!

Theo: WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'RE FUCKING DOING?!

Percy: WELL, HANG ON TIGHTER!

I hooked my feet under the boat's inflatable bench and held on to one of its straps, and as Tyson grabbed Annabeth and Percy by the backs of our shirts, Percy gave the thermos cap a quarter turn.

Instantly, a white sheet of wind jetted out of the thermos and propelled us sideways, turning our downward plummet into a forty-five-degree crash landing. The wind seemed to laugh as it shot from the thermos like it was glad to be free.

As we hit the ocean, we bumped once, twice, skipping like a stone, then we were whizzing along like a speed boat, salt spray in our faces and nothing but sea ahead.

I heard a wail of outrage from the ship behind us, but we were already out of weapon range. The Princess Andromeda faded to the size of a white toy boat in the distance, and then it was gone.

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