Tina
I rest my arms on the shopping cart as my eyes carefully scan the aisle. Vodka, Rum, Tequila...
"Soju." Sherry holds two green bottles in front of me, a cheeky grin spread across her face.
"Love that." I motion her to put it in the cart.
This past week has been a very productive week for the Anti-Love pact. I've been attempting to cook at least one meal a day, with Noah's help, of course. And Noah's been doing his best at fine-tuning his drawing skills, with my help, of course. We decided to throw a little kickback with friends this weekend to not only celebrate our successes, but also to take the after-breakup advice of not isolating ourselves.
Sherry holds the front of my shopping cart, leading me along the aisle. She's a bartender, so naturally I invited her along for alcohol shopping. She grabs a variety of drinks and mixers and proceeds to place them in to my cart.
"We're trying to go for chill game night vibes, Sher, not an all out rager." I chortle.
"Oh don't worry, this is exactly what we need, girl." She says with a wink.
As we continue cruising through the aisles, a familiar face turns around the corner in front of us.
Shoot, it's Alex.
In my best attempt to avoid being seen, I lower my head to try and avoid eye contact. But it's too late, and we eventually lock eyes with each other.
I let out an awkward laugh. Oh gosh, Sherry, save me.
"Hey." Alex says, putting his hand up for a wave. No hint of awkwardness at all, unlike me.
The awkward feeling doesn't end there and I hit him with a stiff smile and nod. I haven't seen Alex since the dinner, when we broke up. My mind replays that night's events and I feel a lump in my throat. I don't want to see him right now.
"Hey Alex!" Sherry says, strategically placing herself in front of me to block him from my view. "You on shift tonight?"
Thank you, Sherry. I breathe a sigh of relief while she takes the reigns of conversation with him. They converse a little about work and various small talk topics before Sherry finally cuts the conversation.
"Well Alex, we kind of have to go so, we'll talk to you later?" She says, looking at her watch.
"Of course." He acknowledges, then he turns his attention to me. "It was nice seeing you, Tina." He smiles at me. "I hope we can catch up sometime."
The audacity. I nod in acknowledgement and watch as he disappears in to the next aisle.
Sherry turns around and mouths me an apology before I take another huge sigh of relief. "Sher, that was unbearable." I whisper to her.
"I know, girl, let's just go." She says, coming up next to me and pushing the cart forward.
The fact that Alex seems so okay after the breakup while I've literally felt like a mess makes my heart sting, just a little bit. Ok, maybe a lot of bit.
"Maybe you were on to something with the amount of drinks." I say with a laugh and she throws another wink at me.
--
After setting up a variety of snacks on the table, Noah and I take a seat on the couch while Sherry places the drinks on the kitchen counter.
"I saw Alex today." I tell him, a sad look spreading across my face. I can't help but feel the heartache of our breakup when I think about him.
He notices the sad look on my face and empathizes. "I know it must've sucked to see him, sorry." I remember that Noah has to see Sarah basically every day, and I feel a little bad for being so down after just one interaction with him.
"We don't have to talk about him though, I just wanted to say that." I try to shift the mood. "Anyways, I'm excited to hang out with everyone tonight!"
"Me too! I'm ready to crush everyone at Uno." He says, pressing his fist against the palm of his hand.
"You mean you're ready to get crushed." I tease.
"And I'm ready to get drunk!" Sherry chimes in, filling herself in the space between Noah and I and wrapping her arms tightly around the both of us.
The rest of our friends start arriving after preparations have been complete. More drinks and more snacks are placed on our table and the night begins right away.
Sherry pops open a bottle of tequila and pours it in to shot glasses. She passes it to each of us and we lift it up to cheers. "Connor, would you do the honor of saying our cheers?"
"Cheers to friendship and the Anti-Love Pact!" We all lift up our glasses, dink them together, and take our first shot of the night. My throat burns from the initial taste, but it goes down without me gagging.
"So what are we playing first?" Ted asks, his arms around Alice.
"Uno." Noah says proudly. Connor gives a big whoop, and Noah sets the cards around the table.
Our night is filled with an array of different drinking games, card games, and board games. I lose at almost every game we play, even the Korean drinking games my cousins used to teach me. I thought I was a master.
After a couple more shots, a bottle of Soju, and a handful of mixed drinks later, I can feel myself starting to lose my composure. Maybe I should've slowed down a bit.
Ding!
Noah, Alice, Lena, and I are in the middle of playing a game of Jenga when I hear my text message notification go off.
I flip my phone over to check the notification. It's a text from an unsaved number, but I recognize the number all too well.
It was nice seeing you, let's catch up soon? :)
I take a deep breath in. My heart starts to ache again, and it starts to feel unbearable. The mix of drunkenness and high emotions take over and before I know it, I'm crying.
"Tina?" Lena scoots closer to me, putting her hand on my shoulders. Their eyes are no longer on Jenga, but are now resting on me. I try to hold back my tears but they keep coming out forcefully.
"I'm sorry, I just-" I manage to let out before choking on my tears. I look up through my watery eyes to see Noah looking at me with concern. He reaches his hand out, but before he can touch me, Alice lifts me up from the couch.
"It's ok, come, let's go." Lena and Alice both hold me up and start walking me over to the bathroom. Alice motions to Sherry to come along, and she sets her drink down and leaves Connor and Ted to assist.
"My girl, what happened?" Sherry asks, rubbing my back for comfort. They set me down to sit on the toilet while Alice grabs some tissues and hands them to me.
"It's Alex... he texted me.." I say, my speech slightly slurred.
"Oh, that bastard." Sherry scoffs. "The audacity of men sometimes."
Lena squats down in front of me and holds my face in her hands. "Tina, you've been doing so well without him, don't let one text get you down."
But it isn't just the text that's bringing me down, it's him. It's our breakup. It's the fact that I never really got to hear the reason why he broke up with me. It's the fact that he's so ok with everything and still wants to be friends.
The girls all crowd around me, offering different words of encouragement while also allowing me to cry. I don't know how much time had passed, but suddenly I've cried to the point to where there are no more tears left to cry.
"Let's go get some water." They walk me back out to the kitchen and set me up on a barstool. Alice fills a cup with water and hands it to me.
As I'm drinking my water, I feel a gentle hand on my back. I spin around in my chair to see Noah looking at me, worry spread across his face. "You okay, Tina?"
"Mmmm." I mutter. I'm really not ok, but it's no use adding my burdens on him.
"As long as you're okay." He says, smiling at me and giving me a quick squeeze on the hand.
The night continues to pass by. I stop with the drinks and focus on hydrating myself with water instead. I sit and watch as they continue to play more games, and I feel myself getting sleepy.
It's a little past midnight before everyone decides to wrap it up and head home for the night. All drinks, food, and games have been put away neatly and we all say our goodbyes.
I'm sprawled out on the couch while Noah finishes letting everyone out of our apartment. I grab my phone and stare at the notification from Alex. My heart starts to race again, and I quickly swipe to delete the notification from my screen.
Oh gosh, here it comes again. I'm an idiot. My tears start to fall again and I begin to cry. It feels very reminiscent of when Alex first broke up with me because here I am again, crying on the couch, holding a pillow in front of me to try and drown out the sounds.
I feel an arm go across my shoulder. He doesn't say a word and I begin to cry on his shoulder, much like the night of Alex and I's breakup again.
"I'm sorry...I'm so embarrassed..." I mumble. Why am I an emotional drunk?
"Don't be sorry." He says, his arm still wrapped around me.
"It's just.. I feel like an idiot." I say through my tears. "Am I not good enough?"
"Oh God no, Tina." Noah says, a hint of shock in his voice. "Alex is an idiot."
Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I wipe my tears from my eyes and manage to look up at Noah. His eyes are still full of concern.
"I just.. don't feel like..." My mind feels blurry and I can't seem to find the right words. I look down at his hand and grab it for comfort.
"Whatever it is you think you're going to say, just know it's not true." He says to me with a smile, giving me a squeeze on the hand. For now, I let myself believe him.
"Thanks for doing this pact with me."
"Of course Tina, we're best friends." I smile at his comment. We are best friends, and I can't imagine what it would've been like going through heartbreak without him by my side.
I let go of his hand and squeeze mine in to a fist. He presses his knuckles against it.
My eyes feel heavy and I feel them start to close. He lets go of his grasp on me, and carefully rests my head on the arm of the couch.
"Night." He pats me on the head and I hear him walk away.
I smile, as I drift away with my thoughts.