A/N: Welcome back darlings. This is probably not needed, but here is a quick disclaimer about the decisions my characters make. They make them because that is how I think they would feel. Not because of my own feelings or beliefs. The end. Enjoy!
*Anthony*
My Amy and I were lying together on the couch after putting Daisy to bed. She was looking out into the backyard but I was looking at her, wondering what she'd look like in a white dress.
"Let's do it right out there, so I can look outside and think of it," she said.
"Nah, I want you in a nice soft bed where you can be comfortable, and we can stay there for a very long time," I teased, giving her a tight squeeze.
She twisted around and raised an eyebrow at me.
"Oh, you mean get married?" I said innocently.
"Yeah, get married."
"Sure. We can do that outside."
"You are ridiculous," she said, but gave me half a smile and leaned back to rest on me again.
I'd finally gotten her used to sitting in my lap. I begged her to all the time, but she kept saying that was a bad idea and she would crush me. It took a lot of convincing, but I'd gotten her to enjoy it almost as much as I did.
I spread my hands out over her stomach as I took her earlobe between my lips. I knew she hated her belly. I tried to touch it everyday to show her that I didn't. She was so soft...and delicious. Sometimes I could tell she was forgetting her insecurities and getting lost in my touch. She would go loose. We would melt into each other and I'd let my hands explore her body through her clothes.
She didn't push them away anymore.
"You know, we aren't gonna be able to stay here forever though," I whispered.
"I know."
I'd told her before why we had to move around, and the next one would have to be soon.
"So...if you are gonna live forever, what about me?" she asked with hesitation in her voice.
I knew we'd have to talk about that eventually. I just hadn't been able to, I couldn't even think about it.
"When I die, what's gonna happen to you?" she wondered.
"I will too. Imprints always die right after their mate does."
Mine would be a little different though. If the heartbreak of losing her didn't end my life, then I would have to do it myself.
We were quiet for a little while, until I gathered up the courage to ask her something that was even more important than when I asked her to be my wife.
"You don't have to though. Do you want to be immortal?"
In my head, it took her hours to answer. In reality it was probably only a few seconds.
"How would that work?"
I let out an unsteady breath.
Okay, she is open to it. This is good.
"One of us, probably my grandfather, the one that's a doctor, would change you...into a vampire."
"But how does that actually happen?"
"Well, there is venom. He could either bite you, or inject you with it, and then you'd start to change. A few days later you'll be a whole new you," I explained.
"Can't you do it?" she breathed into my neck, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
"I think it would be less scary if you did it."
I considered it. I'd be doing the worst thing in the world to me, hurting her, but it would cause the best thing I could imagine. She'd be able to stay with me forever.
"I don't know if I have any venom. I could try."
Now that I had it in my head, I did want to be the one.
"Would you have to drink my blood?"
I gently lifted her chin so that I could see what she thought of that. Her expression seemed to be mixed.
"It's not a requirement. Would you want me to?"
"Kind of," she admitted.
I laughed softly.
"Do you want to...drink it?" she asked.
Of course I did, but I was able to keep it on the back burner.
"Would it bother you if I did?"
"That's too many questions in a row!" she said, poking me in the stomach.
"Okay, okay. Yeah, I do want to," I said, feeling a little embarrassed.
"If that really bothered me, I wouldn't be here," she assured me.
Relieved, I held her closer and breathed her in.
"You do smell delicious, in more ways than one."
I pressed my lips to her neck, feeling her blood pulse.
"You have to be positive about this," I reminded her.
She had learned enough about my family by now that she knew how much her life would change, how much she would change.
"I am...but will it hurt?"
I couldn't lie to her.
"Yeah."
"A lot?"
"Yeah."
"I want to stay with you. It will be worth it."
I was glad she thought so, but from what I heard she probably wouldn't when she was going through it.
I lifted her by her hips and turned her around so that she was straddling me. I needed to be looking right at her when I brought up the one possible deal breaker.
"What about Daisy?"
She squinted, deep in thought.
"I would hope that she'd want to stay with us, that she would want to change too."
"You know she can't do it until she's older, right?"
I'd never explained the immortal children to her. I would eventually, but that was something that of course couldn't happen.
"I know, she'd never grow up then, right? When she's mature enough, we'll just have to let her decide for herself. When she's at least eighteen."
"What if she doesn't want to? What if you have to watch her grow old?"
It wouldn't be right of me to not encourage her to fully explore all the realities of this.
"That might be hard, but assuming she lives a nice long life I'll get to be with her for all of it. Not all moms get to do that. Yeah, it might not all be good times, but that's just more time I'll get to spend with her."
I smiled at my love.
"I think that's a good way to look at it."
"Wow. All that time with you two," she said grinning.
"Maybe I should learn a language or something. I could listen to every piece of music ever written! I'll need more hobbies."
"Maybe not, I plan on keeping you very busy," I said.
I laughed and pulled her close, hooking my chin over her shoulder. Now that her rear end was sort of sticking out with the way she was leaning forward, I couldn't help touching it. At first my fingertips just grazed her through her pajama pants. I could tell she wasn't wearing underwear. When she gave me a soft sigh, I gave her a tight squeeze.
I was learning to listen to her body.
I pushed her forward just a little, and then pulled her back, gripping her tightly. I kneaded her softness as we kept up the slow rocking motion that I had fantasies of all the time. She was sitting in the middle of my thighs, so we weren't actually near each other. We probably would be if she would be so kind as to reach between us and let me out, but I always let her initiate that.
"Oh, I can't wait to marry you. You can't change until after that. I need to get to know your body the way it is right now."
Amy lifted her head from my chest and smiled at me.
"I don't want to until we are married a few years anyway, since I won't be able to have any more kids after I'm changed."
I couldn't match the loving, hopeful smile she had on her face, I was frozen.
Did she actually think we could have children? Had this really never come up before?
"You don't think...you know we can't do that, right?" I said, bewildered.
Her face fell like a ton of bricks.
"I thought you'd want more kids, you are so good with Daisy!"
I put my hands on her shoulders and tried to speak to her gently, even though I thought she may have lost her fucking mind.
"You know how much I adore her, that has nothing to do with this. If I was human, I'd love to have ten more kids with you, but you can't carry a child that has any vampire in it."
Her lower lip quivered.
"Sweetie, we can't chance that. What would Daisy and I do if something happened to you? It's possible, and that's enough," I said firmly.
"Any pregnancy is like that though," she argued.
"Not even close. No human has ever survived that. Ever."
"But your-"
"My grandma did die, technically," I pointed out quickly.
"Maybe on paper! She's still here!"
"Oh, my God," I groaned, putting my head in my hands.
"Amy, we are seriously not even entertaining the possibility of this right now."
Her tears spilled over as she struggled to get off of my lap. I tried to help her but she shoved my hand away and almost fell over.
"Amy! Damn it, calm down before you hurt yourself!"
I reached out to grab her but she caught herself.
"Why won't you even consider it!" she cried.
"Because I don't want you to get hurt! Come on, look at Aunt Rose. That could very well happen again."
"There's no way another orphaned vampire baby is just gonna show up on your family's doorstep again."
"One very well could. There's probably more right now. Fuck it, let's go find one!" I said, standing up and throwing my hands in the air in frustration.
"I don't want some random kid, I want your baby. I want to have your baby, with your eyes, and your kind heart and...and..."
As she cried I just didn't know what to say. It was hard to to argue against this because I wanted it too. I wanted it so badly that a sweet little girl who looked like Daisy, but had my eyes popped into my head, but I pushed the image away.
"I love you so much that I don't want anything to happen to you. We can't take that risk," I said.
"Like I didn't take a risk for you? Do you think I wasn't afraid the day I called you to come pick us up? Leaving Randy was a lot scarier than staying with him, but I did it!"
"I know, and I'm so proud of you. You know I am, but that was removing yourself from a dangerous situation. This is putting yourself into one when there is no need. You've had it so rough, you can have a nice easy life now."
"Even if it's hard, it will be worth it. I'd go through every thing with Randy again just to end up with Daisy. Twice!"
"Amy, please!" I pleaded with her as she ran out of the living room.
I heard the lock to our bedroom door click. She knew I could get in there if I wanted to, but she also knew I wouldn't.
What was more important here, her health or her happiness? I would have to say health, but what if she resented me for this? Forever is a long time, but it would even be longer without her.
I heard a couple little beeps from her phone as she dialed it. I heaved a sigh when I heard my mother on the other end. I could hear Amy explaining everything to her.
"Try to see his point though, sweetie. We've talked about how imprints are a little different. He's seen you go through so much pain already."
At least Mom was on my side.
I didn't need super hearing to know that right after they hung up, my phone would be ringing.
"Yes, Mom," I said into my phone.
"You know what you have to do, right?" she said.
"Yes, Mom. I'll get my laptop."
I couldn't look Amy in the eye right now, but I took her by the hand and brought her to the couch.
"We are just gonna see what he has to say, okay?" I said.
I swear, that was the longest it had ever taken to fire up my computer and open up video chat. When Grandpa Carlise's face appeared on my screen, I rolled my eyes. There were far too many other faces joining him.
"Could we have even just pretended that this incredibly personal conversation was going to be private?" I said flatly.
"I told you," Aunt Rosalie said, and dragged Aunt Alice and Uncle Emmett out of the frame.
"I love you, dear," Nana said.
"Call me soon!"
"I will, Nana."
Can we just get this over with?!
"Grandma, I love you very much. Goodbye," I hinted. I closed my eyes and tried to gather some patience. When I opened them again, Nana and Grandma were both gone.
Finally, we could get to business and Grandpa could tell Amy that she is insane. We can go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and get back to our lives with Daisy.
"Tell her this is a horrible idea!" I exploded.
Amy looked at me, and let out an indignant little gasp, her mouth hanging open.
"I'm sorry. Okay, we are going to listen," I corrected myself.
"Please listen, really listen," Amy begged me.
"I will, I will."
We both looked at the screen and waited for Grandpa to begin.
"Well then. Anthony, as you know I have always had an interest in the genetics of our kind, and shape shifters as well. You having a human for a mate certainly makes for some interesting puzzle pieces."
Glad you are entertained.
"I expected you may come to me with questions someday, so I've already given this a considerable amount of thought. For one thing, it seems that vampire traits are lessened by approximately half with each new generation. It could be said that your child would only be around 1/8th vampire. What specifically are your concerns?"
"Is it even survivable?" I blurted out.
"It absolutely could be. Amy may experience complications other than the norm, however."
Amy and I spoke over each other.
"What is this, 'could be' stuff?" I said.
"What kind of complications?" she wanted to know.
"Anthony, there are no guarantees in a completely unique situation, but I don't see a pregnancy being life ending. Amy, I would say there is a high chance of general anemia. You will probably find it helpful, possibly necessary to consume blood-"
"I'll do it," she said, cutting him off.
I knew that was hardly the only potential problem.
"What else?" I pressed.
"There is also some potential for internal injury. I would want to monitor you closely as you progress. The stronger the fetus becomes, the higher the chance would be."
"You know Mom broke my grandma's ribs," I pointed out to Amy.
"This won't be like that!" she insisted.
"And you know they claw their way out of the womb," I went on.
"You didn't do that, and neither will he," she said firmly.
She put her hand over her stomach as she glared at me. Oh my God, I am so screwed. The baby doesn't even exist and she already loves it.
"I probably would have, I just couldn't because my mom is way more vampire than I am. Her body is stronger than mine. This is the complete opposite."
"Anthony, I kept a very close eye on your mother, especially with you since you were her first. If you had attempted that, I'd have known," Grandpa gently corrected me.
Shit.
I can't believe I'm even considering this.
"What if the baby hurts her?" I asked.
"Then she'll immediately receive the proper medical care. It will be provided by myself, at home."
I put my head in my hands. I didn't want her to need medical care. I wanted her to stay healthy and safe.
"So we'd have to come to Montana?" Amy asked.
"Yes, that would be the best option," Grandpa said.
I looked over at Amy, defeated. The stubborn little brat gave me a somewhat apologetic smile.
"It will be okay, I know it," she assured me softly.
I wasn't so sure.
"All right. I have one more question. Amy, you are not going to like this, but I listened so you have to listen too."
She nodded.
I couldn't look at her while I asked.
"Grandpa, if it got to a point where Amy's life was legitimately in danger, would you be able to...end things?"
"In that somewhat unlikely scenario, yes I could. If that was Amy's choice."
"I suppose that covers the basics then, for now. Sweetheart, anything else you wanna ask?"
"One more. In that unlikely scenario, you could also change me into a vampire so that both the baby and I would survive, right?"
Oh, damn it. She's got it all figured out.
Grandpa smiled at my crafty girl.
"Yes, I certainly could."
We said goodbye to Grandpa. He assured us that if we thought of anything else he could help us with, we could get ahold of him anytime. He reminded us there are no definite answers, but he'll always share his thoughts with us.
"I am not okay with this," I clarified.
"Yeah, I can see that. I'm sorry I upset you so much. This is just really important to me," she said, still tearful.
"I know," I said, pulling her close to me.
"I'm sorry I freaked out a little but you are really important to me."
"1/8th isn't very much. I think you are way too worried," she said.
I kissed her temple and nuzzled her neck.
"Maybe, but I still am."
"Like if you went to the store and everything was 1/8th off...what is the percentage of that?"
I raised my eyebrows.
"12.5%"
"So if everything was 12.5% off, that's not much of a sale. Would you even care?"
"Probably not," I admitted reluctantly.
"That's nothing!"
"Not exactly, but pretty close."
As we got ready for bed, I wondered if I had over reacted. The thought of anything happening to her is just so abhorrent to me that I lost it.
She'd started taking a shower before we got into bed instead of in the morning. I think I would have liked it better if she didn't before we fooled around. I liked her smell best when she smelled like her . I knew all her lotions and potions made her feel more comfortable though, so I didn't say anything and just enjoyed watching her routine.
As I usually did, I sat on the closed toilet seat while she took a shower. Of course wishing I had x-ray vision...or a clear shower curtain.
"Are you washing your hair tonight?" I asked through the stupid red and gold shower curtain.
"Nah, it's too late for that."
"Want me to brush it when you get out?" I offered.
"That would be nice."
I did that fairly often, I loved it.
"Okay, close your eyes," she said.
She always had me close my eyes when she got out of the shower. It was preferable to being kicked out of the bathroom at least. Once she had dried off and dressed I could open my eyes and watch her put lotion on.
With my eyes squeezed shut I listened as hard as I could, like always. Once I was allowed to open my eyes I watched her rub lotion over her skin with great interest.
"Do you want a vanity, or a bench or something for in here?" I asked once she was dressed and standing in the mirror. I started brushing at the ends of her hair like she taught me, so I wouldn't pull it.
"Mom had a vanity but she took it with her."
Amy smiled sweetly.
"No, I don't need one. Just a baby."
"Oh jeeze," I groaned.
"Let me ask you something. You don't have to answer tonight, because you have to be sure about it."
"Okay," she said hesitantly.
"Even though it probably won't happen...if it got to a point where you had to choose the baby's life or yours, what are you gonna do?"
"That's not going to happen, he'll just change me," she insisted.
"It could. It's something you have to consider and be ready for."
I brusher her hair and let her ponder that. I admired the lovely color of each strand, watching it become nice and soft as I brushed.
I couldn't tell her that was my deal breaker because I never wanted to try to control her, she'd had enough of that. I would never force her to do anything, not ever. Even if it was selfish of me, I could not agree to this unless I knew that no matter what happened she would still be with me once it was over.
"I can answer that now," she said.
"I'll choose myself. I wouldn't want to do that...but if I really had to...I don't want to go anywhere. I'm not leaving you, not for anything."
"I wouldn't want you to have to do it either. That's just one of the reasons I don't like this."
"It would be worth it to try. I'd never regret trying. I want to see what it's like to enjoy being pregnant. When I hear your Mom talk about it sometimes, I get so jealous."
"You didn't enjoy it with Daisy?"
Then I remembered reading that domestic violence is often at it's worst during a pregnancy, and wished I hadn't asked her.
"Never mind, I'm sorry."
I could see from her face she had gone right back to that time. Her response was so quiet I could barely hear her.
"He was awful."
I put the brush down and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.
"You don't have to worry about that anymore," I reminded her.
"I know. It still happened though."
"We are gonna replace old memories with new ones," I said, kissing her neck.
"Okay, Amy. I am probably insane but...do you want a boy or a girl?"
I had to let her go when she started jumping up and down and screaming. I surprised myself when I couldn't stop laughing.
"Stop, Amy. Stop!" I whispered.
"Listen, let's try to have one. Just one. Okay?"
"Maybe we'll get lucky, you have twins all over your family!"
Oh man. I think I'm gonna be sick.
A/N: Well, that was a busy chapter!
I've finally made myself a website. It's at vanessawolfe dot weebly dot com. I can't put the actual link on this site because of spam concerns on this damn page.
You can download parts I and II on there, III will be up once I manage to get it all in one file. I put up a short bio of myself, would like to put up fan art soon, and I've started a reader forum. With each new chapter I'll start a thread where you guys can chat with each other about it once you've read it. I'll of course be around too :) If you guys are into it and use it, I'll keep doing it. If there is something you'd like to see on my site, let me know! I hope to make it fun for you guys. If there is ever anything going on that I need to communicate, this is the place to look.
You guys are awesome. Til next time, be safe ;)