D.J. Chapter 7
Buck had actually been thoughtful for a few days but he didn't want D.J. would notice. She was too happy to upset her with his thoughts, thoughts that in reality he could not even manage, a feeling was buzzing in his head that he could not tell if it worried him or made him happy. He realized he had to share his feelings with someone and thought Lou was the best person.
A few days after Christmas, an afternoon when there was nothing particularly urgent to do and when he had preferred to leave D.J. who was devoting herself to writing the new chapter of her book and who was immersed in her research, decided to open up with Lou.
"Lou, can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Sure Buck, tell me"
"Can we go to a quieter place?"
"Should I worry Buck? I've seen you strange since Christmas, are you okay? D.J. is fine?"
"Yes, or at least I think"
"What do you mean?"
"Please Lou, let's go somewhere more secluded so that no one can hear or interrupt us"
"Okay, let's take a ride to the river, okay?"
Buck nodded a little amused: right at the river where he and D.J. had met, how strange fate sometimes ...
Arrived, Lou and Buck dismounted and the girl asked him again as they sat down: "What's wrong Buck?"
"I don't know Lou, it's just a feeling, but I have to talk to someone, a woman"
"Okay, I'll listen to you"
"You know how I feel about D.J., she makes me feel good and I feel complete and fulfilled with her, completely loved and accepted for who I am like never before in my life, think that when we met she didn't even realize I'm half Indian. She loves me for who I am inside, not for the color of my skin or where I come from "
"So where is the problem?", Lou interrupted him.
"Let me finish Lou, it's very hard for me to talk about it, but I need it"
"OK sorry"
"I have been considering the idea of asking her to marry me for some time, even though it may seem soon, and I was just waiting for the right moment"
"But it's fantastic"
"Lou, please"
"Sorry Buck"
"I think the right time has come and I think I also have to hurry"
"Why? Oh, sorry, I can't shut up "
"Well, here, you know that I always sleep with her except the days of her period ... here, this month I always slept with her ..."
"Oh my God, do you mean that ...?"
"I don't know Lou, but it seems strange to me that she hasn't had her period, maybe it's a simple delay or maybe we're really expecting a baby. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I would like to propose to marry but I would not want her to think that I am doing it just because I think she is pregnant. And if it were, I would be immensely happy about it, but very worried about her reputation. We have always tried to be careful, but anything can happen. What should I do Lou? "
"Speak to her from the heart Buck, tell her what you said to me, that you have been thinking of marrying her for a long time and that this would be the right time if she really was pregnant. Don't hide anything from her. She knows you love her and will understand that yours is not a remedial proposition. And if she is pregnant, congratulations, we will find a way to resolve the situation "
"Thanks Lou, I'm going to town right away to get her a ring and tonight I'll make her the proposal. Would you come with me to help me choose it? "
"Gladly, but first I would like to offer you something, if you don't take offense."
"What?"
"My mother, before she died, gave me a ring that my grandmother had given her, it was her engagement ring. I'd like you to have it and give it to D.J. "
"Oh Lou, I can't really accept"
"Buck, you are my family, D.J. is now like a sister to me and I do not know if I will ever have children, given the behavior of Kid who cannot be decided. You are a special friend to me, you have always been there in times of need and I would be really happy if you accepted "
"I would be honored Lou"
"Well, decided then, let's go to the bunkhouse and I'll give it to you"
"Thank you, you're a real friend" and he kissed her tenderly on the cheek.
The two returned to the bunkhouse and Lou, without being seen by anyone, handed Buck a blue velvet bag containing her grandmother's ring.
"Good luck Buck, I wish you much happiness"
"Heartfelt thanks Lou. Now I am going to her and I will cook her something special. Tomorrow I will tell you "
"Well. See you tomorrow"
Buck changed into a white shirt, he knew that D.J. really liked it when he wore it. When he arrived he found her intent on writing.
"Is it already so late?" she asked when she saw him arrive.
"No, honey, I just thought I'd come earlier to make dinner so you can get on with your work. There wasn't much to do at the station "
D.J. went to meet him and kissed him tenderly: "Thank you my love, you are very sweet".
Buck went into the kitchen as she finished her chapter. Buck knew perfectly well where she kept everything, tablecloths, plates and more, and set a very elegant table.
When D.J. entered the kitchen she was amazed and asked him: "Did I forget any occasion?"
"No honey, I just wanted to prepare something special for the two of us, to celebrate our love"
"But how sweet are you my love? I caught the best guy in the world "and kissed him greedily.
"Hey, hey, let's keep the dessert for later, let's enjoy dinner now" he said softly.
"Okay Mr. Cross!"; he loved to call him that, making fun of him a little.
The dinner was delicious and after everything was sorted out, they moved into the living room sitting on the floor on the carpet, by the fireplace, as they often liked to do. As she hugged him tenderly, Buck took all the courage in his body and told her: "D.J., you know I love you so much and that I thank the gods every day for giving me the opportunity to be with you. I've been thinking about this for a while now and it seems like the time has come to share it with you "
"What's up Buck, is everything okay?"
At that moment Buck knew that however things had turned out, that was what he wanted, to build a family with her and why not, have a baby right away. He told her: "Everything is fine and it could be even better." He stood up suddenly, knelt in front of her, with his beautiful face lit by the firelight and his black hair falling partly over his face, and said to her, pulling the ring out of his pocket: "Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
D.J. gasped: she would have expected everything except a marriage proposal. She looked at that beautiful man who was kneeling in front of her showing her all his love and her heart was filled with a joy that she never thought she would feel. With tears in her eyes she replied: "Of course yes Buch, I would be honored to become your wife!"
He put the ring on her finger and they kissed passionately.
"It's a wonderful ring, thank you!"
Buck explained that it belonged to Lou's grandmother and she was even more moved.
Buck, still anxious because he knew he hadn't finished talking to her, told her: "D.J., I've been waiting for the right moment to ask you for a long time, but I never found the perfect opportunity"
"And now have you found it?"
"I think so. I want to be completely honest with you, at the risk of being misunderstood. "
"What do you mean Buck?" D.J. worried.
"You don't have to worry, everything is fine, but I want to explain to you what is the occasion that led me to ask you right now. I don't know if you've noticed, you're so busy writing your book, but this month I slept with you every night, I've never been to the station "
"So? Better no?"
"Sure love, but why do I sleep at the station 5 days every month?"
"Well, why ... Oh my God Buck, do you mean that ... ???"
"I do not know, you tell me. I don't want you to misunderstand me, I didn't ask you to become my wife because I think you're pregnant, I've wanted to do it for a while but this has prompted me to do it now "
"Oh my goodness Buck, I didn't realize I was late. What if that's true? "
"Well, it would be great, but we should find a solution to not let it know and play on the date of birth, so as not to compromise you"
"Would you be really happy to have a child with me now?"
"Sure honey, that would be a blessing. Marrying you and having a family with you is all I can wish for. Aren't you angry because I chose this moment for the proposal? "
"Buck, why should I be angry? I know you love me, you show me every moment and I know you would never marry me just because I'm pregnant. We absolutely need to know if that's true. Tomorrow we could go to the doctor and ask him "
"Honey, I think we should handle this better. I know that you are not interested in conventions, but if we really have to wait for a baby we will have to protect him from gossips and first of all we must know if it is true or not "
"What are you proposing then? I'm so dazed! "
"You could go to the doctor for a general check-up and if he tells you that you are pregnant, then we'll see how to move, okay?"
"You're right Buck, we'll do this, but it just occurred to me that we'll have to wait a few days because the doctor is out of town."
"Well, in the meantime we will fantasize about our future family and we can start announcing to others that we will get married soon."
"I'd like to get married in June, what do you think?"
"I think it all depends on the doctor's response, if you were to be pregnant, we should do it within a week at most"
"You're right again. How many emotions "
They kissed and made love in front of their lit fireplace. They then went to the room and after fantasizing for a while, they made love again until they fell asleep embraced "
The next day, they went to the station together to make their announcement.
"But that's wonderful!" Rachel exclaimed, "Happy birthday guys! I knew you were meant to have a family. Luckily this big head listened to me that time! "
"Oh Rachel, still with this story? How many times do I have to apologize to you? Anyway you are right, I have to thank you because you gave me the push to get here "
"And let's not forget to thank Lou. Buck told me about the ring, I was really moved, you are more than a sister to me "
"But do you think, I love you"
"I love you too" and the two girls hugged each other amid the amused comments of the guys who made fun of these dull hugs.
"When is the wedding?" asked Jesse.
"Well, here we are still arguing. I would like to get married right away next week, as we don't have the problem of building a house, but D.J. would like to wait until June. We'll see what to do in the next few day ", Buck said with an air of understanding towards D.J.
While the boys congratulated Buck and made fun of him, D.J. went out on the porch with Lou to thank her again and asked her: "Buck told you, didn't he?"
"Yes, he didn't know how to avoid hurting your sensitivity and I advised him to talk to you from the heart"
"And so it was. I understood that he does not marry me only for the hypothetical child, but because he truly loves me. In a couple of days, when the doctor returns, I'll go to him with the excuse of a checkup and we'll see if I'm really pregnant or not. Based on that we will decide the date. "
"How do you feel?"
"Excited. I would be very happy if I were expecting a baby from Buck, despite the difficulties we would face "
"Everything will be fine, you'll see!"
"Thanks Lou, for everything."
The two women hugged again.
The next two days, Buck spent more time with D.J., only taking off for his ride which thankfully didn't plan on staying out at night. When the doctor was back in town. D.J., as agreed with Buck, went to him with the excuse of a checkup because she was about to get married and wanted to know if she was all right and could have children. The doctor examined her and asked her when she had had her last period. The doctor checked her and told her that the delay was probably due to a bit of stress she had accumulated in recent times, but it was all right, she was strong and healthy and could have all the children she wanted. D.J. was happy with this news, but at the same time she was disappointed because unfortunately it had been a false alarm, she was not pregnant.
When she came out, she found Buck looking nervous: "So?"
"False alarm honey. The delay is due to stress. I have probably devoted too much to work and my body has suffered. I'm so sorry"
"It doesn't matter, love, we'll just have to wait a few months. Maybe it's for the best after all. We will do things right and as soon as we get married we will immediately get to work to have the first of a long series of children "
"Are you disappointed?"
"A little, but we have our whole life ahead"
"True. But I liked the idea of carrying our baby "
"Me too. Well come on, let's put it this way. You won it and we will get married in June "
"Decided then"
They returned to the station and communicated to everyone that the date was finally set for the summer, so as to do things more calmly.
Lou looked at D.J. who returned her knowing gaze. She approached her and said: "Are you okay?"
"Yes, it was just the stress. Too bad, but as soon as we get married we will immediately try to have a baby ".
Lou hugged her, understanding her disappointment.
D.J. in the following days wrote a letter to her family announcing her marriage, with the hope that her parents could be present, but soon their answer came: the journey was too demanding for them, they gave her their blessing but they could not be there with her. They hoped that sooner or later she would return for a visit if she could afford it. D.J. knew that for now it was impossible, she hoped that once the book was finished, if things went well, she could save the money for a trip to Italy, so that her family could see what a wonderful man Buck was and how much they were happy.
Although the wedding was still six months away, D.J., with the help of Rachel and Lou, began planning everything and revolutionized the space in her bedroom to allow Buck to carry his things little by little. One day the three women went to town to choose the wedding dress of D.J. There were many of them in the shop and D.J. was in serious trouble. She tried to think about what Buck would like and in the end she chose a dress that was neither too flashy nor too simple: tight at the waist, with short sleeves covered with lace and a not too exaggerated neckline, which went down almost like a tube in front and ended with flounces of lace but which widened behind into a modest tail covered again with small flounces, strictly white. On her head she didn't want a veil but a simple hairstyle with semi-gathered hair and wildflowers intertwined in curls, flowers that would have recalled the bouquet.
D.J. was satisfied with her choice and the two women also gave their approval. All that was needed was to make arrangements with the reverend and the saloon for the party and to choose who to invite.
The same day she chose the dress, in the evening D.J. asked Buck to figure out who they would invite and who they would choose as bridesmaid and witnesses.
The betrothed decided that the bridesmaid would be Rachel, as Lou could not show herself in women's clothing, and that Buck's best man would obviously be Ike. D.J., in the absence of her parents, would have been accompanied to the altar by Teaspoon. They decided that the next day they would communicate it to the others. Excited by the preparations, they went upstairs and made love by melting their souls.
As agreed, the next morning, a Sunday, so everyone would be present, they went to the station and communicated their plans.
It was Buck who introduced the speech: "Guys, last night me and D.J. have decided on some details of the ceremony: I would like to have Ike as a witness ".
Ike gestured to be honored in this role.
"And I'd like my bridesmaid to be Rachel. Lou, it would be an honor for me to have you by my side, but I really don't know how to do it ... "
"Don't worry D.J., you know I'm close to you with my thoughts"
"And Teaspoon, I would be truly honored and happy if you accompanied me to the altar, since my father will not be able to be present", added D.J.
"Oh well, here, I ... yes, I would be really happy!", he replied excitedly.
"Well", Buck said, "then we're good to go. Thank you all".
They spent the afternoon all together and as usual they went home in the evening.
Lou had been a little upset by D.J.'s words, she hadn't yet thought about the fact that she couldn't be at her friend's side as she wanted because of her pretending to be a boyfriend. She loved her job and her freedom, but the wedding of Buck and D.J. made her understand that she wanted something more from Kid but he never seemed to make up his mind. She decided to talk to him about it, it was time to turn their story around, for better or for worse.
The same evening, when D.J. and Buck were gone, Lou asked Kid if she could talk to him for a moment.
"Sure Lou, come on, let's go out on the porch"
Once outside, Lou, a little embarrassed, told him: "Kid, we've been together for a while now, longer than Buck and D.J., and I sincerely feel the need to change our relationship. I know that in the past, when you asked me, I didn't feel ready yet, but now I am, I think it's time to do things right "
"Are you making me a marriage proposal, Lou?"
"Well, in a way, yes. I hoped it was you who did it, but since you never decide ... "
"I don't know Lou, I love you and you know it, but maybe you were right to wait, we're not ready yet, and then bad rumors start going around about a probable war and if it really does break out I should go back to Virginia to fight for mine homeland and then I don't know if I would also be able to take charge of a family and maybe some children ... "
"So you don't have the slightest intention of building a family with me? Are you happy with this relationship and have you also regretted having proposed marriage to me in the past? "
"I didn't say this Lou"
"It seems to me so Kid. I need a confident and determined man who puts everything in the background when it comes to his love for me. Apparently you can't offer me this. Just know it "
"No, Lou, wait, I didn't mean I don't want a family with you, but it seems risky to me now"
"Kid, starting a family is always risky, regardless of what's going on around us. Sorry but I'm not going to wait to see if a war will break out or not and if it does, wait for it to end. It could be years and I don't want to throw my life away. I'm sorry Kid, but given how you think, I think we have nothing more to say to each other "
"Are you leaving me Lou, really? After what happened between us? "
"It's you Kid who wants it, I'm not willing to wait years, the choice is yours"
Kid looked down and said nothing. It was Lou who ended the conversation: "Perfect, good luck Kid"
"Lou, wait", but she walked away determined.
The next morning, Lou went to D.J. She knew Buck would be out on his run and took advantage of the fact that she was alone in the house. She needed to let off steam with a friend.
"Hi Lou, what a nice surprise, come in!"
"Thanks D.J. I need to talk a little "
"Sure, sit down, what's going on?"
Lou burst into tears and explained to her friend the conversation she had had with Kid the night before.
"I'm very sorry darling, come here" and he hugged her gently.
"Maybe it's better this way D.J., it wouldn't have made sense to continue our story without a goal. It's that it really hurts "
"I know honey, but you will see that you will recover and you will soon find the right man for you, maybe not that far away"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't tell me you've never noticed how Jimmy looks at you and how he protects you"
"Yes, but he's just a friend"
"For you maybe, but I guess he doesn't think exactly that and that he never came forward just out of respect for Kid. Let things take their course and don't preclude yourself from being happy "
"Thank you".
The two girls spent the morning chatting together and then Lou went back to the station. She also spoke to Rachel who consoled her and then confronted Kid again. He claimed he was the one to inform the boys and Teaspoon of their breakup. Reluctantly Kid accepted and that same evening everyone was informed and extremely sorry. Everyone except Jimmy actually. D.J. was right, he felt something for Lou and knew that Kid couldn't make her happy. He hoped now that she too would notice and that she might give him some hope, but it was still early.
In the evening, when Buck returned, he was informed by D.J. about Lou and Kid's situation and he was very sorry, but he too thought like D.J .: maybe they weren't meant to be together and the right man for the girl could be Jimmy.
"Of course our future marriage has caused a great disaster ...", commented D.J.
"I don't think it's the fault of our wedding, their story had been faltering for some time, they just needed a jolt"
"Yes, maybe you are right. Speaking of our marriage, are you going to notify your brother and let me know or do you want to continue pretending nothing has happened? "
"My brother? What does he has to do with it? He lives with the Kiowa and I haven't seen him for months "
"Precisely for this reason, doesn't it seem like the time has come to pay him a visit and at least inform him that you are getting married? Maybe he could give us a blessing according to your rite, they are always your traditions and it is not right that you only follow mine "
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious, what questions do you ask?"
"Oh well, I hadn't really thought about it. If you want we could go there on Sunday "
"It's perfect, so I'll get to know him and he can join us already with your ritual"
"You are truly amazing"
"I know, I know" and laughed.
He could not resist and immediately took her upstairs to make love.
The next few days Jimmy stayed very close to Lou to comfort her about the breakup with Kid and she thought back to what D.J. In fact Jimmy had always been very sweet and protective with her, who knows, once she got over the pain, she might have considered it, but now it was too soon.
Sunday arrived and Buck and D.J., having informed the boys, set off for the Kiowa camp of Red Bear, Buck's brother.
D.J. was very excited and actually Buck was too. As they approached the camp, Buck noticed something strange, he felt like moans coming from that direction.
"There is something wrong with, D.J., I almost seem to hear the moans of a funeral ceremony, I don't wish something had happened, I have a strange feeling"
As soon as they approached the camp, they were joined by a warrior who blocked their way.
Buck made himself known: "I'm Buck Cross, the half-brother of Red Bear, we would like to see him but I see that a funeral ceremony of some importance is in progress. Has any warrior leader died? "
"Brother, we would have tried to contact you in some way in the next few days, unfortunately the funeral ceremony is for Chief Red Bear, he was the victim of an ambush by the Sioux, we have already avenged him, those responsible have all been executed and we have taken the their scalp "
Buck was terrified and speechless. He felt an immense pain that petrified him.