The night before, I couldn't sleep.
I kept wondering about the fact that we were to have a carnival next week. Every time I thought of it, it would remind me of the carnivals we used to have back in Waziristan a long time ago. In the open field you could see huge wooden swings, small tents with stalls and standing in front of them were people, lots and lots of people. Amongst them all, I would feel like a sole leaf in a forest. The swings would move round and round jerking the children up and down while the owner of the swing would try his best to give a push to the gigantic mechanism. The swings would be surrounded by huge red colored decorative tents inside which people sold interesting items, however, the most entertaining stall of them all was the magicians. I can clearly remember the day when I had volunteered from the crowd and he had instructed me to cut a piece of rope into two. Then, he waved his hands round and about the rope until we could see it joined back together! At one side of the whole festival, in the corner would stand a huge cart with its owner standing behind, trying to attract customers. The man would be quite skinny and dirty. He would have long tangled hair and dirt stuck to his face and neck, clearly he looked disgusting although is cart was a wonderful thing. At the side of the cart would be paintings and posters of Pashtu movies that I never got to watch and on the cart would lay lots and lots of cotton candy in every color.
Pushing the thoughts away, I forced the kameez down my neck and headed out of the tent to start with my chores for the day.
"Morning ma'" I said as I rubbed my eyes, adjusting my vision to the bright sun.
"Morning daughter! Come, have some bread. We are short of tea leaves though so you will have to satisfy your hunger with bread for now."
"I know how it is mother." I sighed, "Do you want me to borrow some tea leaves from the auntie nearby"
"Oh no darling!" She quickly turned her attention towards me, "Don't bother the poor people. Besides, they wouldn't give us some anyway, everyone is saving on their food supplies since it's sure that we are not going home anytime soon."
"We won't?" without noticing, I had stopped chewing my food while I waited for mother to answer.
"I don't think so my dear girl. I asked your father but he refused to speak about it so perhaps we aren't going anytime soon."
Surprisingly, it was quite hard for me to absorb what my mother had just said although I was well aware of that fact. Maybe I felt that way because I had so many wonderful memories connected with my past in Waziristan that I didn't want to let go of. Deep down inside me I felt some kind of emptiness that is hard to put into words. I wanted to get it out of my mind, therefore; as soon as I had consumed my bread, I decided to go out for a walk around the camps to get my mind off that subject. Mother also assigned me with the task to bring my brother back to the tent as he had gone to play with some of his bothersome friends without completing his chores. Surely that would divert my mind from sad thoughts, at least that is what I hope so.
That day, the whole camp area was quite noisy than usual and perhaps that was because the school was shut down for some time due to the ferocious rain. Small children jumped in puddles made by rain from the other day, making themselves as dirty and as foul-smelling as a pig. Many of them children had badly cut, bushy hair and most of them didn't wear any pants at all which was something you would normally see in a camp. Well, I don't know about other camps but in ours it was totally normal. Men could not be seen around anywhere near the tents therefore they must have gone to their gathering on the outskirts. I walked for several minutes, occasionally stopping to catch my breath or to ask the native children if they had seen my brother. I assumed that the walk would calm me down yet it didn't. Instead, I felt the burden on my shoulders get heavier. I wanted to be jolly yet I couldn't get myself to smile. Maybe it was automatic for humans to frown in ugly situations because I wasn't able to control my emotions.
I walked in between several tents trying to push off the thoughts from my mind until I spotted the herbalist near her tent. For some odd reason, I knew she could make my day brighter.
"Hello Herbalist" I waved wildly at her. I must admit I was quite cheerful to see her.
"Oh hello dear girl! How are you darling? Long time I didn't see you." She said without looking at me as she lifted some crates out of her tent.
"Well, I was quite occupied with some certain tasks. The recent days have been quite rough due to the changing weather and the lack of supplies."
"You poor thing! Too bad due to the situation you delicate children have to go through all this." I didn't know how to reply the herbalist. I didn't even realize if that was a question or a statement. All I knew was that to escape my emptiness, I have to change the subject of our talk.
I started off by clearing my throat. "You don't look quite well today. Are you sure that you don't need any medicines?"
"Kind of you to ask Shireena but no, i am alright. Perhaps you think that way because I seem to get older day by day. My arms are more flappier than they used to be and my bones feel like tiny branches that cant carry any load."
"No-no I am so sorry I dint mean it as an insult or anything I-"
"No need for explanation my child, I think I know you enough to say that you didn't mean it."
I greatly remark the bravery of the herbalist. Despite the fact that her husband died the worst way possible, she remains steadfast and continues with the short life that she has remaining. It was something that would give me hope for the future of our natives. While the fragile herbalist lifted the rest of her crates, one of the mud-splattered children ran with great speed knocking the crate out of the herbalists grab.
"Oye! Mind where you are going you little brat! What are the mothers even doing! Can't even take care of their children. Worms!" She was clearly disgusted by the children.
"Well, the mothers have a lot of children to take care of don't they?"
"Awfully lots of children" She giggled. And within no time we both started laughing. We sat on the empty crates and made fun of the natives and the children. I am well aware of the fact that back biting is a sin, however; I didn't want to miss that moment.
"You sit here while I bring some biscuits and tea for you."
"Oh! Oh no I will have to go. Mother had asked me to go and call upon my little brother so I have to go to find him. Thankyou for the chat though."
"Oh no problem! Come back anytime!"
"Keep your doors open then!" I said giving her a final goodbye.
Now I had to get back to my original task, to find my brother. But where would he be? I walked towards the outskirts of the camping to look for my brother. Luckily, I found one of his friends along the way and he guided me to their playing area. They were playing on the outskirts where the men would have a gathering.
"Oye Brother! Ma'ma is waiting for you!"
In the background I could hear some boys giggling. "Go, go little worm. Go to your little sister." One of his older friends made fun of him. From several years I couldn't understand why he called them his friend in the first place. They were more like beasts.
"Can't you stop embarrassing me Shireena?" He asked with a bossy tone.
"You are such a girl! How else would I have grabbed your attention?"
"You shouldn't have called on me like that! Men are superior to women and you made me look quite dumb. Do you know how hard it is to make a firm position in your pact?"
"Mr. Malik I may inform you that from now onwards I would send a 'male' messenger to inform you about the happenings. Too bad we don't have one!" That ought to finish the argument!
***
Greetings Readers,
I hope you all are having a lovely summer. I apologize for not writing even a single chapter from the past 5 months but now i assure you that i will write frequently. During the past months I have been really occupied in school related subjects and the other reason is that i am a guilty procrastinator. I again apologize for my attitude but hey, on the bright side you would be getting chapters more frequently from now. Share, like, vote and give me feedback if you liked it. Feel free to follow me to stay in touch :)
Lots of Love to my wonderfully supportive readers,
Lizo Xx.