"Maybe moving here isn't that bad."
She tried to convinced. The traffic light turned red as the following cars stopped just before the pedestrian lane. Everyone crossed without a pace, continuing one's day. The sun is back again and that only means one thing. Another new day.
Crul was starting to get familiarize of the city. Using the small details of the place as a reminder of where is she.
A smile plaster on her face when she caught the bright red bench on their way. Eyes hitched when the sun light hit her, Despite the hot reflect from the star - Crul blinked it away, admiring the shine of the daylight.
Crul doesn't mind the burning heat against her skin. She wouldn't consider the heavy sweat from just being outside for a minute a hassle, though the running engines on the road sure made their brain ticked with annoys. With every person passing - she made an extra effort to avoid any type of contact - an attempt to not get noticed.
Honestly, the girl wished for the ability to turn invisible.
The gentle breeze of the wind was a perfect touch for a perfect day. The clock perked to twelve as lunch time began. Crul was on her way to lunch, finding a retouch of energy.
It was not fun going to school at seven am in the morning, luckily her next class was at 2:30 pm. Basically having a two hours lunch break.
She cringes when the sound of the door rang through the cafe. Earning some glances of near by costumers.
Deciding to ignore the eyes, Crul walks towards the counter - whom was a girl with strawberry hair.
"Goodmorning Crul! Like yesterdays?" The berry head greeted.
"Yes please." Crul replied, The conversation ended pretty quickly with the strawberry barista naming the charge. As soon as Crul was done she made her way to an empty sit - choosing a spot near a window to take advantage of the natural lighting.
A sigh came out from her as the lass brought out the notebook they were holding to the table. The pen aims towards the start of the paper but with no intention. Crul blankly looked at the paper. Not having anything in mind, she took a glance to everyone else in the store.
The place wasn't packed. But Enough people to hold you back from doing a cartwheel in the middle of the room.
Crul eyes landed at the counter again, two young people behind it. One has a bright smile while the other stayed neutral. Despite that, the two seemed to get along. Crul wonder if the two have some type of romantic connection for eachother.
A middle aged man sat across a young beautiful woman. The two talked with a more of a casual mood, the choice of words and the swift of the conversation made it clear that the two have an intimate relationship, She wonders if this is his wife or daughter.
The resemblance of the man seemed to travel to the woman as well. Despite the age of difference, Crul could tell that they had spend time just long enough with eachother for the other one to copy the other's habit. A sign of comfortability.
At that she started the pen. The rang of the door made her look back. Her eyes sparkled.
"Goodmorning sir! What can I get you?" Berry head greeted another costumer. Engaged of the scene, Crul didn't gave notice the other barista walking towards her.
Only snapping back to reality when the tray was placed on her table. She stuttered a thank you to which the server only nodded.
The server left and Crul took the drink - not bothering to mix the liquid as she prefered it bare. With a sip of her drink, Crul looks back at the counter.
"Okay... And what's the name for the order?"
"Aidan"
Strawberry wrote the given name on the cup before giving a smile to the boy, "We'll bring it to you in a moment." The boy nodded as he turned to walk away.
Crul contniued to eyed the boy, recognizing that it was Aidan himself.
Aidan took a sit about 4 tables away from Crul as it seemed he didn't noticed the girl. While in crul's mind she was debating to herself if she should say hi to the other teen or atleast make herself feel known to him.
It would be nice to have company in this hour and this could be her chance to engage more with the male, Crul bit on a memory of her mother worrying that the girl wouldn't make close friends in the place.
Crul met alot of nice people in the town, tho most of them were older than her and way out of schedule to actually hang out. In her defense, kids her age was cool but none of them was really a person that Crul could handle. No one really caught her interest to make her want to engage more with them, if forced - Sooner or later she or them would just stop interacting.
Maybe it was beacuse Crul wouldn't make the first move on them and neither would they, so it was just a repeating cycle.
But wait.
Crul blinked at the realization.
Wasn't she was the one who interacted on Aidan herself. The realization brought her to twist her eyebrows in confusion. "The hell, where did I get the balls?" She asked her mind.
"Ohhh the book.." Her mood grumbled.
...
It was quiet in her head for a moment, as the last topic brought it to a blank.
"Hey! You're here!" Aidan called out, Crul visibly froze upon hearing him, trying to glance at the male with the corner of her eye without moving. With composure, she let out a cough before turning to face the male-
"Yeah, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting here." Said by another person.
Turns out that Aidan was waiting for another person in the cafe. Crul's shoulder dropped as she sighed in embrassement. "Thank God I didn't immediately greeted back..." She whispered. Her plans of starting a conversation with the brown-haired male was off her list not when he was with an another person.
Crul sank down on the sit as she tried to enjoy her sweet drink.
She figured out to pass down time with her notebook, the lead of her pencil angled the paper. It took her a minute to come up with something before she let her hand move. From time to time the puzzled teen couldn't help but take a look of her surroundings mainly for the two reason. A search for testimonial and her curiousity on something.
Her eyes would always first land on Aidan's table, intrusive with what may be their conversation about. But she would always mentally slapped herself before turning away.
The situation where Crul wanted to talk to another individual but was occupied with another individual, to make things worse, she was unnoticed.
A part of her kinda wished that the male would recognize her but also a side praying that he won't beacuse of the other presences with him.
After a few moments, Crul had already finished her drink, she was preparing herself to leave but then she realized that it will be quite a hard time to go unnoticed if she will leave alone. So the girl waited for the perfect timing for the group near her to also go out. As soon as they stood up for the exit - Crul blend in with them just a few inches behind before going out the door.
She sighed when she got outside, a mixed of feelings filling her up once again.
But with the decision already done she forced herself to walk away - deciding to go to class early.
Though her attempt of disguise was able to trick everyone in the room except for the person she disguised for.
...
...
The sun is beginning to tint with the color of autumn, while the breeze slowly brought the familiar feeling of snow. The hanging time on the wall strucked to five.
Crul's vision was focused to the window beside her, despite the voice Infront - her mind was able to pass free and get lost at the scenery. Her eyes narrowed at the sun setting down behind the structures of building. She watches as it takes the time to hide away and soon reveal the lunar satellite.
And then her eyes fell with wonder, "I wonder.. what phase the moon will show tonight-"
"Miss Jeanne please stand up." The call of her name from the woman infront of the classroom made her immediately stand up. It was almost like the music from her admiring was rudely cut off.
She curses at herself for getting distracted.
"Would you tell me the definition of abstracted?" They asked with dominance found in the tone. The question was gained a gulp from the teenager, she composed herself to answer but the focused stares of ripe of laughter towards her figure made every cell of their body apprehensive.
"..showing a lack of concentration on what is happening around." She was able to answer without stuttering.
A hum was heard, but not a hum of approval. The hum was nowhere a positive respond.
"Atleast this one is self aware." They spoke to another student to which the others in the room let out the laughter they were holding from the very beginning when Crul's name was called.
Humiliation filled the dark haired girl's mind, the sound of laughter of her classmates made her seek a kind of escape, but the spot she was in kept her standing. At that the teacher straightens their posture, taking a step to come closer to the standing teen.
Crul sweared she almost took a step back, "I do understand that you are still getting a hang of the place miss Jeanne."
Crul eyes met the adult, From this point of view - we could assume that the dark haired girl was calm with their blank stare, but the slight hint of bluffing could be seen if you looked closer in Crul's eyes.
"But you're already falling a little beyond from the others my dear." Their sentence was filled with toxin of evilness, each word was an insult of its own, but was thinly covered with mock-up sweet fake intention.
Crul didn't fell for the once sweet and lovely nickname called upon her.
The teacher sighs as they took a look of the scenery that the teenager was looking. They smiled before looking down back. "The sun is beautiful am I right?" She sugarcoated.
"Indeed" Crul blankly responded. The sun was indeed beautiful, it was the world's source of lightness. Life seeks for it's shine. In addition the burning flames of the moon's friend with the angle and time right now. Who wouldn't fall in love with the sight.
"It is lovely... But unfortunate we are in the presence in my class ms Jeanne, this is the place of the education, not the place where you can learn off the nonsense of the insides of your voice." They spat.
"Maybe this country is far too harsh for your left-out set of perspective perhaps?" At that sentence, Crul visibly froze for the second time today but this time with a complete different reason.
"Cut off the delusions running inside you and instead be a doll with a present mind."
It was starting to bother her.
Crul let out an awkward laugh, "I-I wasn't daydreaming ma'am.. I was simply admiring the-"
"Excuses fail in life Ms Jeanne."
It seemed like this one of a kind teacher was testing the already humiliated girl beacuse when Crul tried to speak back just to fail to delivered the words, a smiled brought to their face.
Crul could only look down in silents, she found no point of talking back nor had the intention to continue in the first place.
Perhaps that decision was the wises beacuse the teacher only hum with hidden delight before turning back around to stand infront the class.
"Class dismissed."
...
...
The door of 'home' opened with force that was delivered with madness, It cause the people inside to flashed back at the door. Crul had went home after the day and being the door of her home was the first thing that came in contact with her pent up hands.
"You open the door like a madwoman, Good evening to you too" A woman spoke with furrowed eyebrows eyeing Crul, the teen began to took off their shoes without a word back.
When the said woman noticed this, she crossed her arms into her chest.
"What happened to you?" She asked in a tone.
"Nothing." Crul responded as she walked pass her mother and going up the stairs without a glance or word behind.
Crul was already on a urge of hurry to her room. Wanting nothing more but the sheets of the bed and out of the clothes of todays, but just when that feeling reached, she met her older brother who was getting out of his room.
Seeing the glaring expression of his sister made him raise a brow as he only watched as she passed by him.
"What's up with you." He asked, the question didn't helped the girl. As it was filled with no intention of goodness, she could hear it.
"Nothing." She watched her tongue, careful to not slip an another word.
But the following scoffed of the other male almost spilled her beans.
"Yeah right." He spoke before leaving to go downstairs, leaving the teen. It took Crul a second to move again as her mind occupied blankness but the knuckles of her hands harden with emotion.
she slammed the door shut but did not move again after the move.
Her breathing filled the quiet room, taking uneven breathes one by one with the length of her hair curtained her face.
Dropping the bag on her shoulders to the floor - taking soft steps towards the bed and finally laying down, the cushion of pillows hits her face, and once again it was silent again.
It's dark outside once again, street lights glow on the side of the road, the blow of the wind was a freezing breeze. Even the cricket who hid shivered at it. It was cold again, and worse she was alone again.
Slowly, Crul faced the side - her left cheek hits the soft below as a thin straight line occur on her expression.
With the color of darkness, her eyes was also filled with tiredness, with mind empty - it recalled what happened again that day.
The sound of mocking laughter, the insults that was able to tore something within. The smirked of greed and mockery once again haunts her open.
Words can really hurt when used wisely, especially if you hate the word used. The feeling of shutting off every function of the body and letting it melt with burning hot anger that hurts more than lava poured to the skin. Crul despise the word delusions.
She felt offended when the woman of educator called against her, calling her appreciation for nature, delusions.
She hated that it was compared to her, she HATE that the word was used to her. She hates being connected to the idea.
The combined letters of delusions wasn't the reason why the teenager held hatred. The burning quantity was what gave her the feeling of hate for the word.
She was furious but exhaustion eats her up more. It brought her mind into an order to just go to sleep.
Take a rest, close the lids of her eyes and drift into slumber - it called.
But the continues flashing of memories would stick into her mind like glue. With her presence alone - she positioned herself to lay in her back. Curtains suspended from the top of the aperture.
Her eyes locked with the ceiling staring back at her. With her mind occupieing the past, Crul's mind had brought her back from more previously.
Remembering the concept of her stay in lunch,, she blinks. It's both a shame and a good thing nobody was in the room with Crul.
The good thing was nobody could see this side of Crul's life that she tends to kept hidden. Imperfections was beautiful yet at the same time utterly disgusting, a good thing this was kept hidden beacuse nothing about this side was beautiful - she reclaimed.
In the other - upon remembering the bright highlight of the afternoon. Nobody saw how the slight yet noticable change in her eyes.
It's hilarious how much the irises bloom when the mind is occupied with something or someone that brought happiness.
"What?"
Yes happiness.
For the very first time in Crul's life, she was looking forward on something. Or should we call it someone.