These are just silly quotes i came up with my mind + inspired by some i found online (can also be connected to the plot lol). They're not funny enough but a story can be boring without humor sprinkled on it 🤌🏻✨️
Spoiler warning to some incorrect quotes!
༺•༻
Random Male Civil God: Where are your husbands?
Heavenly Empress (Name): A-Lian is cultivating and traveling and Hong'er decided to tag along with him
Random Male Civil God: Doesn't that make you a stay-at-home wife?
Heavenly Empress (Name): You mean stay-at-throne wife?
---------
Ling Wen: Old Pei had many short lived relationships with women. They weren't considered a relationship either just one night stand. Xuan Ji is one of them.
You who just got your memories back, remembering the amount of women you slept with before meeting Xie Lian: I'm no better than Pei Ming.
---------
Pei Ming: I'm sorry Yuanjun-jie, i slept with thousands of women-
You: No literally
-------
Pei Ming after finding out you used to have 519 imperal harem male concubines, 1 huli jing or fox spirit consort (Shuai Chen), 1 ex girlfriend (Tokugawa Angelina), thousand female flings and out of them you chose two men (Hua cheng and Xie Lian): 😧😨😰
---------
Xie Lian cooking: Baobei, can you pass me the salt?
You grabbing Mu Qing: Here
Xie Lian: Mu Qing could you pass away?
Mu Qing: Wait what
You: Just give him your cooking that will do the trick
Mu Qing: .....
-------
Random Ghost in Ghost City: What the hell? Who the fuck smells like chocolate and strawberries? I don't remembering baking and selling sweets!
Hua Cheng who just sprayed the perfume you gave him in the gamblers den: Pardon?
-------
*You strolling on your male form in ghost city*
Random female ghost: Your excellency looks mighty fine today~
Her friend: Your excellency will you come with us? We promise to give you the best time of your life~ hehehehe~
You: Awe thanks i look gorgeous as ever but ladies i'm waiting for-
Your brother in his male form: Meimei wait up!
The ghost ladies realizing: 😦
Your brother who just realized the situation: Oh dear, they mistook us again...
You who's still in your male form: Alright I'll come with you, i look pretty in whatever form-
Your brother smacking you on the head: YOU HAVE TWO HUSBANDS!
You switching to your female form: Oww! I was gonna go with them in my female form what's the difference!? I don't even have semen in my male form!
Xie Lian in the distance with Hua Cheng: You thinking what I'm thinking San Lang?
*Both of them used their powers to switch to their female forms*
----------
Land of the Tender: Oh little gege is so handsome~
You in your male form: Oh I'm always handsome and pretty and cute
Land of the Tender: Care to have fun with us?
You switching to your female form: Are you interested in "scissors" 😏?
--------
Ling Wen: I'm convinced her grace was the main reason why Old Pei became a womanizer.
Jun Wu: Because my daughter used to have short relations with women?
Ling Wen: Yes....he got influenced.
Pei Ming appearing out of nowhere: If you look closely yes you're right but also my taste of women resemble Yuanjun-jie, beautiful and strong.
Ling Wen: Then why did you leave Xuan Ji?
Pei Ming: Because it was a fling! What did you expect!?
------
*The entire gods in the court staring at you*
You flabbergasted: Wait why am i being the reason why Pei Ming became a fuck boy!? I got nothing to do with it! Stop staring at me!
-------
You singing: I like girls, oh my gosh, big booty, big tits
I like guys too though, super sexy, big dick~
That one homophobic god: That means you're cheating on those two!
You singing while holding them at gunpoint: It's a L if you hatin' on me, bitch, I slay
No I am not gay and no I am not straight!
Pei Ming cheering: GO YUANJUN-JIE!
-----
You making a random speech at the upper court during a meeting: Okay hoes lemme educate yall that having a husband but still interested in women ain't cheating-
Another homophobic god: It still is!? Pick a side!?
You ready to throw hands: Bitch I like both but that doesn't mean i'll have a gf while being married to the most handsome prettiest men in all three realms! Now come at me ya hoe!
Jun Wu sitting on his throne: I'm so done and tired of this....
---------
Xie Lian asking Hua Cheng: Did you fell from heaven?
Hua Cheng: Yes because you weren't there gege
You facepalming: It's supposed to be "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Feng Xin laughing his ass off and Mu Qing in the corner: Your grace your husbands aren't the type to flirt....
Hua Cheng: Jiejie did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
You: Dunno ask A-Lian
Xie Lian: I don't know if i should laugh or cry...
-------
Female civil god: Do you sleep with your husbands your grace?
You holding a camera: Sometimes i like to watch them sleep and cuddle and kiss and...hehehehehehe....
Pei Ming beside you: We are both captains of the Hualian ship
*Xie Lian from the distance blushing and Hua Cheng smirking ready to let you join them in bed next night*
--------
You: I got the titties, he got the ass-
*Shi Qingxuan proudly fanning himself*
You: -Together?
*You both did a high five*
You: Bad bitches