'He kept making me forget that there's no love in the end.
He reminded me of the snakes he so adored. Such gorgeous creatures, but in the end, it was nothing but a body with a poison tongue. He almost made me forget that he could harm. He knew how to slide over my buttons in ways that almost went unnoticed.
I'm glad I figured it out sooner, though. Despite of my regret of having a daughter with him, there was no amendment I could make apart from trying to save myself. Surrendering.
He was the real reptile. One that everyone should fear. He revealed the true nature of betrayal to me. What it's like to be taken advantage of and left back to rot.
I'll be here waiting for you to meet me again if you ever get out of the man's wrath. Once he betrays you too (He will, eventually).
Just in case I'm not there anymore as you read this . . . Remember that no matter where I go, I can't stop thinking about you and all the ways I can make a better life for you. So please let Miss Halima take care of you like I did. She's your mother too, Phoebe, just like I am. And she knows where you can find me.'
I paused reading the braille diary.
Was Helene talking about the same Phoebe I knew? Or was this simply too much of a coincidence? Maybe hopping into someone's journal after breaking my best friend's heart wasn't such a splendid idea. I should've gone to bed and ignored my existence for a bit until the guilt worn off. But this? This was my cue to put my leather jacket back on and get out of the house.
I didn't care to hide. I was too disoriented to give two shits about who saw me or who didn't. If I ran into McQuinn, then so be it. I strode past the bothersome guards who, by now, should've gotten used to see my face sneaking around with their boss' daughter, but well, I guess they needed some time to wrap their heads around it.
My feet didn't stop until I stood before Phoebe's door.
My phone rang.
Phoebe. Just at the perfect moment.
I picked up.
Something lingered in Phoebe's voice . . . A sort of desperation mixed with something deadly. Poison.
And I wanted it all, much to my confusion. Only Phoebe could make me feel like a victorious warrior and a lamb of sacrifice at the same time.
I wondered if her mother had the same effect on people, too.
Was Helene really her mother, or was the journal simply a mere coincidence?
My mother worked there. It made too much sense if Phoebe was Helene's daughter. That meant McQuinn's wife was the woman my mother was acquainted with. But . . . What exactly happened to Helene? Where was she right now?
Why was I personally bothered by a woman I neither knew nor met? Had Phoebe ever cared enough to search for her mother? Was Helene even alive?
The door was pulled open to reveal the girl of my dreams. Her cherubim face adorned with cherry lips, sapphire orbs, and golden waves. It felt like seeing her for the first time, her features taking my breath away.
"Wildflowers?" She moved forward a bit, and my head shifted from my daydream into reality.
I looked her up and down.
"Phoebe?" I stared, confused at the red liquid soiling her dress, legs, shoes, and hands. "There's blood all over you."
She held the door of her bedroom open and I hoped she didn't mind me coming over uninvited. Good thing she called me right when I arrived. Like an orchestrated divine arrangement. But why the hell did she have blood on her?
"Don't mind it. It's not mine." She gestured towards the blood.
"How reassuring." I pointed sarcastically.
How could I not mind blood? Out of all things. But this was Phoebe we were talking about . . . She could order me to dismiss a dead body on her feet and I would obey.
Then I noticed something when I moved closer to her.
"Phoebe." I fell apart at the sight of redness in her eyes, and I didn't need to ask to know that she had been crying, because the dried up lines on her cheeks were enough proof.
"Wildflowers." She whispered when I moved inside, my hands immediately reaching to touch her porcelain face.
"What happened?"
I was answered by new tears streaming down to her chin. I thought seeing my best friend cry was enough remorse to send me off to hell, but Phoebe broke the last straw left inside of me.
I closed the door behind us and pulled her into me, fighting off the urge to cry. I wanted to be strong for her. Maybe for the both of us.
Phoebe tightened her around arms around my neck and with mine tight around her waist, I pulled her up and carried her to the bed.
I placed her down on the pink silk and lay next to her, cuddling her into an embrace.
Her sobs were low, but the silence in the room made them seem loud. Her face tucked hidden in my chest, my fingers caressing the strands of hair at the back of her head.
I let her stay like that for as long as we could.
"Wildflowers." I heard Phoebe's voice call in a whisper, and I moved back to look at her in the face.
"Yes?" I moved the hair out of her face.
"I did something bad," she said. But all I could think about was how she would always be an angel to me.
"What?"
"I killed them."
I shifted, grazing my palm over her bare arms and living for the way goosebumps trailed wherever I touched.
"Killed who, Phoebe?"
A minute flied, and I remembered what had brought me there.
Helene.
"Martin," she muttered. "And his twin. And every other snake in the laboratory. I killed them."
Phoebe's blood stains were all over me too by now, but that's the last thing I worried about. She would've killed a real person and I still would've been there to hug the pain away from her.
I swallowed before letting out a reply.
"Why?"
Phoebe's body stiffened.
"Because I loved them," she marked. "I love them so much, but-"
I tried to find a rhythm for my breathing.
"But?"
"But I couldn't set them free. It was the only way to set them free, wildflowers. Was I wrong? I-I didn't know what to do."
I moved back and looked into Phoebe's eyes like she could see back at me.
"Do you regret it?" My question came out a murmur.
Why did Helene leave her daughter with that culprit of a man- McQuinn? She should've taken her with her. The man was a transparent manipulator.
Phoebe shook her head.
"I'm just-I'm just horrified."
"Of what?"
"Of what Papa would make of me after unaliving his creations. The auction business for the creatures is launching tomorrow, and I just shot some of the said creatures. Maybe he planned to sell those pythons too? He might throw a fit and-"
I kissed Phoebe's lips.
"Whatever your father makes of it, fuck it." I moved above her. "About the rest . . . I can make you forget, okay?"
Phoebe gave me a shy smile before pulling me into a deeper kiss.
This was all I ever wanted. To forget and make her forget about everything. We belonged in this act. In the touches, in the kisses, in the love.
Phoebe flipped us over, straddling me, and taking charge. There was something about her movements . . . Death-defying, ardent, uncalculated. Like there was no more tomorrow for us to make love again. I didn't question it. I simply dived into the rawness of it and let myself be taken advantage of.
If this was going to be the last time I'll ever have her body this close to me, then it better be best. Whether I ended up to be one of her killings, I didn't care for scriptures were about to come true.
The woman and the serpent will forever be each other's foes. That was the curse we beared. I would bite her heel and she would crash my head. But I knew my heart would never take back anything. I loved and I loved her, and I wouldn't lie about it for anything, because the feeling was mutual.