Tan
I awoke the next morning to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee mixed with the scent of something sweet that I couldn't put my finger on.
When I opened my eyes and looked around, wondering if Kennedy had stayed the night, I took in the flannel sheets and the rows of books and realized what had happened.
Shit. I'd fallen asleep at Dominick's.
We'd had sex, and I'd stayed over, and that...wasn't supposed to happen.
I always left.
If I stayed, there was a chance I'd get attached, and if I got attached, I was definitely going to be let down. Right now, Dominick might know more about me than any other man besides my brother, but that didn't mean he wouldn't find other things about me to hate.
I shut my eyes and let my head fall against his pillow, trying and failing to convince myself to get dressed and sneak out his window before he realized I was still here. But I couldn't make myself do it.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was emotionally attached to Dominick. I liked who he was and that I could make him laugh. I also liked the way he made me feel. Laughing and letting him feed me panipuri was more freeing and fulfilling than pirouetting across the stage at the Lincoln Center. And, not to sound shallow, but it didn't hurt that he was also the best sex I'd ever had.
But more than the sex or the way he made me feel, there were the things he said to me that didn't feel fake or forced. Like last night.
I need you, too. Need you bad. Been needing you for weeks. Been needing you my whole fucking life.
He told me he needed me, and the strange thing was, I believed him.
Dominick didn't get attached to people very often, either. Yet, he was letting himself get close to me. I wasn't chasing him away. At every turn, he was getting closer, pulling me into his orbit.
A warm feeling spread from the center of my chest all the way down to my toes. Was this what feeling safe and secure with someone felt like? Maybe it was.
The sound of footsteps on creaky floorboards came, and then the bedroom door opened, revealing Dominick in all his glory. Carelessly mussed dark blond hair. Those dark rimmed glasses that framed green eyes. No shirt. All ink and muscles. And sweet hell, I was hungry again, but not for breakfast.
He lifted a steaming mug of coffee to his lips and took a sip. "Do you have time for breakfast? Or do you need to leave for rehearsal?"
Rehearsal? Oh fuck. I'd forgotten about ballet.
Every warm happy feeling inside me turned to ice as I scrambled around in the sheets for my phone, trying to find where it was hidden.
How could I have forgotten about ballet? It had been a part of my morning routine for years. If I was late, well, I couldn't even imagine being late. I found my stupid phone under the pillow and quickly checked the time. Thankfully, it was only seven-thirty.
I let out a relieved sigh, but it didn't loosen the knot of tension in my chest. I had time to get to rehearsal, but I wasn't sure which trains to take from here or how late they'd be. Sleeping over at someone's house was not a part of my routine.
"I'll take that as a yes," Dominick said, answering the question he'd asked me, "You have time for breakfast."
I pressed my lips together and took the cup of coffee he offered me with an appreciative thanks. Making room for him on the bed as he sat down beside me. "Thanks for the coffee," I said into the mug as I took a sip, "but I don't think I have time to eat. I need to stop by my place and change, and I absolutely cannot be late."
"I will drive you," Dominick offered like it was the most obvious solution. "That way, you have time to try the crepe I made for you."
I swear, I think I melted into the bed. "You made me crepes?"
He chuckled. "I did." He took another sip of coffee, then brushed his fingers through my hair, looking at me like I was a figment of his imagination. Meanwhile, I was staring at him like he was some kind of half naked tattooed angel. "Besides, we need to talk."
All of a sudden, my throat got tight. This couldn't be good. "We do?"
Dominick slid off the bed and offered me his hand. I was apprehensive about this talk. Wondering if he was going to lecture me about staying over and getting mascara all over his pillow."
"Don't start overthinking this, twinkle toes," Dom said with a chuckle as he pulled me to my feet. "It's about good stuff. Besides, I think I owe you a trip down memory lane." I stared blankly at him. "My yearbooks?" he said, clarifying. "You wanted to see them, right?"
With our fingers twined together and cups of coffee in the other hand, he led me to a set of vintage makeup chairs that sat in front of two lighted mirrors. Again, It struck me how cool this apartment was and how his upbringing was so different from mine.
"Sit," he said, guiding me into one of the chairs.
I took another sip of coffee, trying not to check my phone to see what time it was. Even if he was driving me home and to work, we still needed to budget an hour. Rehearsal might start at nine, but that didn't mean I could get there right at nine. Eight forty-five was the bare minimum.
Dominick strode toward me with a plate, and that sweet smell I couldn't put my finger on got stronger. Instead of handing me the plate, he sat beside me and cut a piece of the delicate fluffy crepe. Lifting the fork up.
"Be honest. What do you think?"
A smile curled up my lips. I didn't usually eat anything besides a protein bar before rehearsal, so this was a treat for me. I let him feed me the bite, and I couldn't believe how good it was. A sweetened cream cheese filling wrapped in the thin pancake with strawberries and whipped cream that tasted homemade.
"Oh my god, that is good," I said once I finished chewing.
One of his slow smiles spread, and it melted me more than the food.
He pointed to the small ledge just beneath the makeup mirror where a stack of yearbooks sat. "You've got exactly fifteen minutes to laugh at me before we need to leave."
I pulled his senior yearbook into my lap and flipped through the pages. Looking for his name and cracking a wide grin when I found him. He wasn't smiling, but even without a grin, I thought he looked softer than he did now.
It made me want to know more about this version of him.
"I'm sure the girls were all over you. Which one was your girlfriend?"
"A girlfriend?" Dominick said with a laugh. "In high school? No way."
I made a face. This man did not expect me to believe he didn't have a girlfriend. Even I had a secret boyfriend that my parents didn't know about. If you called the company guy who I'd meet up with after rehearsal to fuck my boyfriend. Okay, so it was a loose interpretation of the word, but still.
"It's true," he asserted, offering me another bite of crepe which I readily accepted. "The muscles and tats came after high school. Before then, I was the nerdy kid with glasses."
I rolled my eyes. Just the nerdy kid with glasses? Please. "The glasses are hot," I insisted. "And so are the books. And you speak French! I would've been following you back to Blanche's like you were the Pied Piper."
Dominick laughed like I never heard him laugh before. Free and unencumbered. "You're not a rat, baby." He held up another forkful of food, and I ate it with a laugh. "Speaking of rats. What about your past boyfriends?"
"Never had anything serious." Dominick smiled. "Why are you smiling?" I demanded. "Is my shitty love life funny?"
"Nah. It's not that. You just gave me the perfect segue into what I wanted to talk to you about." My spine straightened, and I set his yearbook and the coffee on the ledge. All of a sudden nervous about what he was going to say.
Slowly, Dominick took my hand in his. Rubbing slow circles on the back of my wrist.
"Tan, you're so damn beautiful. And I've been thinking about you every second of the day."
I bit my lip, trying and failing to hold back a grin. "Well, I've been thinking about you too."
This man was smiling back at me like I'd never seen him smile before, and god, it was devastatingly beautiful. The suggestion of dimples were pressed into his cheeks, and his glasses rose up on his nose as his cheeks appled beneath the frames.
"Me thinking about you. You thinking about me," Dominick said in his low voice. "What are we going to do about that?"
I shrugged. Feeling the tug of my desire for him starting to twist the bolts inside my stomach, but we did not have time for sex. "I don't know."
"I've got a few ideas."
My brow raised. "You do?" God, if he wanted to fuck, I wasn't going to say no. Even if it meant we didn't have time to stop at my house, and I had to wear yesterday's leotard and finger brush my teeth.
Pink tinted his cheeks and warmed the tips of his ears, and suddenly I wondered if he was embarrassed. "Yeah. I do." He drew in a slow breath. "And they all involve making you my girl."
I pressed my lips together and gave him my most teasing look. This couldn't be the marathon session we had last night. This would have to be a quick fuck. "I do like being your good girl."
He shook his head, and my ego deflated. "No, not just my good girl. But my girl," he explained, and all of a sudden, I was finding it hard to breath. "Something more than just a one night thing. I'm talking about taking you out on dates and treating you like you're supposed to be treated. Being the only man who gets to touch you like this." He ran his thumb along the side of my cheek, trailing a hot line over the corner of my mouth. "I can't do this thing with you halfway. I can't just dance with you and keep it casual. It's all or nothing from here on out."
My brain was struggling to keep up. "You want me to be your...girlfriend?"
He took my other hand in his and brought both my palms to his bare chest. Covering the place where his heart was beating just as fast as mine. "I want you to be mine. Whatever that means."
Yes. Yes. My heart was screaming. Mine. Mine. But my brain was trying to make sense of this. How could I fit him into my life? I was already so busy. "I want that too...but," I stuttered out.
The grin he was wearing faltered. "But what?"
God. I was messing this up. I wanted him, but I'd never done this before. I didn't know how to not mess this up and disappoint him. And to be honest, I couldn't let anyone else down. "But we're both really busy," I said. "I don't know how to fit another person into my schedule. And I don't want to make you feel bad when inevitably mess being your girlfriend up."
A relieved look replaced his confusion. "I'm a big boy, Tanushree. I'm used to being alone. All I want to know is that you're safe and that you're mine. We can figure out the rest as we go."
Figure the rest out as we go. Okay. No rules. Just figure it out. I could do that. Right? "Really?" I asked.
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
I cracked a smile, thankful for a moment to break the tension. "You never look like you're joking. Even when you're trying to be funny."
"There's that smart mouth I like so much."
As happy as I was that this man wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him, I needed to double check, because being together was different from just hooking up. "You're sure about this? Me and you?"
Dominick got out of his chair and crouched down in front of me, pulling me forward onto his shoulders and standing up with me. His face between my thighs. I had to duck not to hit my head on the ceiling.
"Just say you'll be mine, baby. And everything else will work out. I swear."
I ran my fingers through his soft blond hair. Feeling free and happy and lighter than I'd ever felt before. "I'm all yours, Romeo."