Chapter Five:
Tears of the strongest weak
Word goal: 1800
Words: 3690
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Tears
(n.) The blood of the soul
When the soul bleeds, you cry.
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╸Recap╺
Itachi made the decision to massacre the clan elders along with all of the police force.
Nobody is happy.
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Mebuki and Kisashi couldn't be in a worse state. They had found blood outside Sakura's window and they had raced to any possible conclusion that came to mind.
It's like they were frozen in place, time stood still as they sat with their heads down. Kizashi covered his face and internally shamed himself for leaving her side. Mebuki tangled her hands in her damaged hair, staring off into the distance of the kitchen.
At that moment, a knock came at the door. A mix of hope and impending dread churned in their hearts.
Slowly, Kizashi pulled himself up, wiping his eyes of any tears that managed to make their escape. Mebuki reluctantly followed suit, smoothing out her hair to a more presentable manner.
They walked through the halls of their empty home wordlessly. 'Home'. The word did not quite fit right. They had took for granted Sakura's bright smile, the way she pouted when things didn't happen how she wanted. Her puppy eyes when she begged for an extra treat. Her silly little run around the house as she pretended to be a ninja.
Most of their valuable items in their house, save for a few piece's of furniture, had been sold to pay for treatments for Sakura's unknown condition. And for the 'babysitting' they hired other ninjas to do. One of the more dreaded D rank missions given to unlucky genin's. Occasionally given to the Uchiha boy who always brought his younger brother.
Taking a deep breath, Kizashi twisted the creaky handle on the door and opened it.
"Hello, I believe this is yours?" Mikoto smiled, gesturing to the small girl clinging to her back.
Sakura lazily looked up, making eye contact with her parents wide, bloodshot eyes.
Sasuke stood next to the pair, clutching a pair of crutches to his chest awkwardly looking up at Mebuki and Kizashi. He had never spent much time with them, only mere hello's and thanks for looking after Sakura.
Mebuki and Kizashi stood frozen in place.
Mikoto gracefully turned around offering Sakura to the two wide eyed people before her.
Shaking, Kizashi grabbed Sakura from Mikoto. She came easily, her hands were so loose around Mikoto he was almost surprised she hadn't fallen off.
He gently cradled the young girl in his arms, scared as if the smallest wrong move will break her. Mebuki layed her hands on Kizashi's shoulders, looking over them to her daughter. Tears built up in her eyes as she made eye contact with the sleepy pinkette. Relief flooded their senses as their daughter was finally awake and safe. Convinced that she would never leave again.
Finally processing the situation they were in, both Kizashi and Mebuki's heads shot up to look at the two Uchiha's.
"What was she doing with you!?" Kizashi couldn't keep his voice calm.
Mebuki looked down to Sakura, but she didn't stir. She just looked around slowly, like she was a baby who had just awoken out of the hospital, trying to observe what was surrounding her.
"Well from what I heard from her," Mikoto began, Kizashi and Mebuki listening intently. "She could hear everything that was happening around her during the coma."
Mebuki and Kizashi's eyes widened impossibly more as they gasped, eyes darting down to look at their daughter, who looked back with distant eyes.
--
Sakura was confused, she was trying her hardest to tune in onto the words that were being said, to recognize the voices that surrounded her. But she just felt so weak and frail.
The things she hated to feel the most.
Sakura never liked feeling weak, she hated not being able to be the best version of herself constantly, not being able to immediately respond to attack from an incoming enemy at all times.
Not that anyone was coming to attack a seven-year-old girl with no chakra, but still.
Apparently time traveling has extreme effects on the body. Who would've thought?
It's not like she was conscious during the whole coma, just heard bits and pieces. Some annoying genins saying their talent was being wasted here (guess who that reminded her of?).
She also heard conversations between Itachi and Sasuke, Itachi telling story's of missions, Sasuke praising his brother. Sasuke then talking about his day, how easy the classes were, how annoying everyone else was. How Sasuke wishes he could just stay home and be with Itachi instead. Itachi calling him 'Foolish' and poking him. She got that from the seventeenth time when Sasuke finally replied:"Why do you always poke me Ni-san!?".
Sakura had quite enjoyed the times they were there with her, sometimes she had snapped out of the deep place she was in to no sound at all. Just the chatter outside her window from passersby, the tweeting morning birds and the jumping ninjas from rooftop to rooftop. Not that she didn't appreciate the people and birds, anything was better than the place she found herself in when she slipped into a deeper place in her consciousness.
It was completely black, and terribly cold. She constantly drifted, yet she was chained down at the same time. It was like she submerged in water, but she remained so dry it burned.
Occasionally she heard doctors in her room. Saying utter nonsense. She supposed that in their situation she wouldn't have understood what was happening either, and not in her right mind would time travel be one of her theories.
But someone saying she evolved to have no chakra was laughable. What's worse is that's some actually thought there was merit to it. Thankfully one of the doctors, apparently called 'Yuko' had chased him out of the room every time someone brought up the idea. And her subordinates- named Kikuko and Chinatsu- had also thought the theory was stupid.
It's not like their theories were good either.
"Maybe she just gave her chakra to someone else?"
"Maybe someone stole it?"
"What if she's pregnant and the baby stole all the chakra?"
"Maybe the chakra, is sealed inside her? So deep no one can find it?"
"Maybe she's like an anti-jinjuruki?? 'Steada more chakra there's less??"
"You're all idiots."
Sakura thought it would be better if none of them spoke at all. Ever again.
She tried to focus on her surroundings once again, this time picking up that she was being held in a different position than before. If she had chakra she could focus it to her ears, she thinks. She knows how to do it. But does her seven-year-old body know?
She heard speaking from her left and something that might've been shocked gasps??
--
"I think she went to see, my son, Itachi." Mikoto covered her sadness as his name left her mouth.
"He would speak to her," Sasuke quietly remarked. "Not really when I was in the room, but when I left to grab something from the kitchen, or use the bathroom, I could hear him talking to her."
Mebuki looked at the boy, but Kizashi could not bring himself to look away from his daughter. This entire time, she was awake. And he was not there. She was awake and he refused to enter her room for months. She was awake and he had never even said a word to her sleeping body. She was awake and he was pitying himself. What sort of father was he?
He wanted to cry, land on his knees and scream apologies at her, beg for forgiveness. But she wouldn't have heard him. She didn't even look like she knew who he was. She probably didn't. Apart from when she was awake he hadn't spoken to her in over a year. Did she even recognize him?
Did he even recognize himself?
"Before you ask, I didn't listen to what he said." Sasuke said in a level tone, unaware of the turmoil churning the the hearts of everyone who surrounded him. "I wasn't really interested." Nonchalance rang through his voice, earning a pinch on his cheek from Mikoto.
"Ow!" He pouted.
"I assume she broke her ankle when she jumped out of the window." Mikoto looked away from her son and looked back towards the two.
Mebuki's eyes travelled back up to meet Mikoto's charcoal ones.
"You have a very strong girl here." Mikoto offered a warming, close eyed smile to the woman. "She managed to walk halfway across the village on a broken ankle. I can assume she was running purely on adrenaline."
Mebuki tried her hardest to smile, but it didn't quite work. She was happy her daughter was strong even after being so still for so long. But now she was hurt. And injured. And what had Mebuki done? Nothing. That's what. Her heart was filled with a shame that not not even ninjas who had betrayed the rules of a nin felt. She thought of all the nights out with her friends, while her daughter was laying there all alone. She knew not to blame herself to dearly but her heart felt like it had been beaten to a pulp by her other internal organs. She wanted to throw up, she knew she would later. This is a guilt that would never leave. Sakura had lost so much of her childhood. The rest of it might even be ruined.
Kizashi couldn't bring himself to see the bright side whatsoever. His daughter had walked halfway across the village on a broken ankle? That's a pain tolerance that most jonin would never achive. And his seven-year-old daughter who had been in a very long coma with no chakra at all did that. She hadn't even had a glass of water since what he hoped was this morning, and this woman had fed and gave her water. She didn't seem like the untrustworthy type, but what did he know?
"Sorry we weren't able to return her sooner, something... Came up" Her eyes momentarily betrayed her sadness, but she had to keep it together. These people were in shock, she would not put her own pain and grieving on them too. She had been through it before, going through something, but someone near her had felt worse, and been through worse. It was a horrible feeling, a feeling like she herself was invalid along with her suffering. They would hear of it eventually- but she wanted to persevere their pain. However weird that sounded.
"Plus, I had to scout the house to try and find these crutches for her." She tried to add a little humor to the situation.
It bounced right off the pair, however.
Mikoto signaled for Sasuke to pass the crutches he clung to his chest. He nodded quickly and handed them to Mebuki, who took them with a silent thank.
"We best be off." She bowed her head down, grabbing Sasuke by his hair and forcing him into a bow with her. "Please call us if you need anything."
Mikoto removed her hand from Sasuke and quickly turned around, walking away from the four of them. Sasuke quickly gained his composure and followed her speedily, stumbling over his feet on the way.
"We better bring her inside." Mebuki said, looking down to her daughter. "I'll call the doctor's." She said patting him on the shoulder and running inside the house.
Kizashi silently backed out of the door frame, keeping his eyes on his dazed daughter the whole time. He closed the door behind him.
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The walk home was silent. They had taken a strange and inconvenient route to their house Sasuke didn't recognize. He knew something was off ever since the night he'd met up with Itachi. He didn't want to ask any questions at the risk of sticking his nose somewhere he shouldn't. But the curiosity was eating him alive.
Opening the door, Sasuke stepped through the threshold of the Uchiha manner, Mikoto following shortly after.
The air was thick with a tension beyond Sasuke. Normally the silence between anyone in the family was comfortable, a silence that spoke volumes. But this silence was icky, it made him uncomfortable. It got worse now that they were inside, walking through the Uchiha manner with a quietness that made his stomach churn wildly.
The sky grew cloudy, a mix of deep grays canvassing the sky, covering the bright blue. Soft drips of rain dropped on the roof above the two. Painting an image of what the rest of the afternoon would be.
"Sasuke,"
He looked towards his mother, his gaze shifting into one of concern the moment he made eye contact with her.
"Wait for me in the living room." She was barely able to keep her lip from quivering.
Mikoto quickly turned to a different direction from Sasuke and disappeared down the hallway.
He looked at her place beside him long after she left, a feeling of dread began to crawl into his senses, making him shiver to try and shake off the feeling. Her turned his head away, and began his walk to the living room.
--
Mikoto flushed the toilet, the small meal she ate this morning and stomach acid swirled away into an abyss.
She sighed loudly and leant her back on the door of the bathroom, slowly sliding down it's cool surface.
She brought her shaking hands to her face and began to let the tears flow down.
She felt miserable, weak.
What sort of Uchiha was she ment to be? Uchiha's never wept on their worst day. They had to keep their pain on the inside. Focus the strength into their eyes. And fight with their pain. But she hasn't even been a ninja since she got pregnant. She wondered how her husband was right now. Probably keeping a cool composure, while she couldn't even keep her bile down.
She had to tell Sasuke of what happened, but she wanted to protect him. Fugaku had taken Itachi to war for a day, and ruined him. She didn't want Sasuke to feel the same. Itachi was so hurt by the sight of the dead. The sight of people who would never see their family's or friends ever again. The sight of people who would never get to retire. The sight of people who would had practically killed themselves by rushing into a war, hearts burning with desire to get revenge for the ones her very home, Konoha, had taken.
It was an infinite cycle of violence, and their son had been thrown straight into the middle of it. Far, far too young.
She didn't want to infect Sasuke with the very same darkness of their clan. The pain of unlocking a sharingan. A searing pain that made the surrounding world blur, made the head burn. A feeling like no other pain, like the brain was being repeatedly smashed around the skull. Like the eyes were being stabbed by a thousand needles.
Though, she suspected the pain might come soon, too soon.
She wanted with all her heart to hide the truth from Sasuke. She would not tell him of what Itachi had done. Fugaku would undoubtedly be mad at her, he hated lies. Even if the lie was one to protect their son. It's why he let Itachi see the war so young. He did not want to hide the truth of what it meant to be a shinobi.
A shinobi lived to die, that was the truth.
But Mikoto did not want that to be Sasuke's truth.
--
Sasuke shifted uncomfortably on his knees in his spot in the middle of the living room. Mikoto had been gone a while, Sasuke's worrying grew worse and worse with each passing second.
He had never seen his mother so, so...
Broken?
That's the only thing he could think of. She was like a broken doll that had been painted over to make new again, but the cracks were never mended.
Where was Itachi? He probably had a mission, again. He was in his Anbu uniform when he found him with Sakura.
His father was undoubtedly doing work in the police force. He hasn't actually seen him at all this morning, but it's not like that hadn't happened before. In fact, the only person he could confidently say he had seen everyday of his life had been his mother.
So now, what was happening? He didn't know of anything that had happened, but everything felt backwards.
He heard footsteps slowly echo through the halls. Sasuke straightened his back and prepared for the worst. Maybe Itachi was going on a really long mission? He hoped not, what if they had to watch over Sakura again? It had become an event he came to enjoy, well now that she was awake, he doubted that they would actually be able to do that. A small part of him hoped that she would slip back into coma so he and Itachi could have the long conversations next to her about everything and nothing at all.
But this felt worse than a long mission, though he didn't really know what could be worse.
Mikoto opened the door and shut it behind her, she had her face held down, hiding it from Sasuke's view.
She sat in front of him, with her face still hidden from Sasuke's eyes. But he could still tell something was very wrong. Her hair was in a disarray, and she was shaking softly.
"Mother, what's wrong?" Sasuke reached out to her, placing his hand on Mikoto's. "What happened?" He softly whispered the question, his curiosity finally overflowed out of his mouth.
Mikoto took a deep, shaky breath, gripping Sasuke's small hand tightly in her own.
"Sasuke," she started, reality began to sink in, she had already known it was true, but this hurt so bad she wanted to scream and wail. "About Itachi, he's- he's on a mission right now..."
Fear began to sink into Sasuke, were his assumptions right? Is Itachi truly going on a long mission?
"And I don't know, when he'll come back." She took in a deep breath, and Sasuke held his. "If he'll come back." She squeezed his hand tightly.
"...if?" Sasuke felt shaken to the core. "What's that meant to mean? Is there a chance he won't come back? " His face began to mimic Mikoto's hidden one, his eyes began to tear up.
"A chance, bigger than I would like to think about."
Sasuke tried to hold back his tears, but the best he could do was stay silent as they rolled down his face.
"And if he does come back," she trembled, a small percentage of the turmoil she felt within. "I don't think it'll be in the next few years..."
He shut his eyes tightly, obsorbing the words before they consumed him.
"W... Why didn't he say anything?" He sniffled.
"That's not all," she ignored his previous question. "During the night Itachi left, something truly awful happened..."
Sasuke didn't want to hear any more bad news. He had already heard the worst words if his life, what could be worse?
"The entire police force, along with the clans elders, were killed." Her voice wavered.
Sasuke couldn't breathe anymore. The entire police force? They were supposed to be the strongest around... And the elders?? The clan was barely a clan anymore... All of the Ninja's that came from the Uchiha became police, and that would be all of the men, and a few of the women...
Sasuke looked up to his mother's face, his eyes widened at the sight of her, that he should've expected. She was shaking violently, her eyes were puffy and red and her lip trembled as she bit it, trying to hold back the emotions.
His mother was always so kind, so strong, so loving. He had never seen her sincerely sad before. And he never wanted to see it again. He wanted to shut his eyes and forget this day ever happened. Go back in time back to the dinners they all had together, the long conversations he and Itachi would have next to the sleeping girl. When he Itachi and Mikoto would all go looking for that one stray cat that Mikoto refused to let go of beause "it was ment to be"
Life would never be like that for him again. But he didn't want to let go, he didn't want to see his mother sad. He would rather she yell at him and get angry than see her so truly miserable.
He moved closer to her, and wrapped her in a tight embrace, putting all the love into it he could fathom and burying his face into her shoulder.
She responded immediately with a tight hug of her own, squeezing Sasuke with all her might.
Sasuke's eyes began to burn with pain, he shut them tightly and tried to ignore it, but it was so painful he couldn't help but let the tears flow as he gave up on silencing his sobs and hicced into her shoulder.
Mikoto tried her hardest not to begin crying once again as she heard her sons weaps.
"It's alright Sasuke it's going to be okay..." She whispered soft comforting words she wished would work on her.
"Everything will be okay..."
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(Cannonly Itachi did not fight in the war. Fugaku took him to see the war when he was four, not really though Fugaku showed him the aftermath, the dead body's that remained. In this version Itachi was five and fought for a single day no where near the front lines.)
Sorry it's a little late something came up.
It's literally 11:47 I'm gonna cry I was so close to not making it lol. Please excuse the spelling errors I'm so sleepy 😭
Thx for reading <3
P.S: to that one random guy in the comments who wished me good luck on my 20,000 word homework, my teacher said I have a gift for writing sooo I guess I'm just the best at everything all the time always ¯\_(ツ)_/¯