Monday morning comes by so fast for me and Amia. It's her first day at a new school and I'm hoping she likes it. I hope she makes new friends. And I can't wait for her little sleepovers one day.
"Okay Amia, are you ready?" I ask as I put on her sweater. She nods her head and yawns while rubbing her eyes.
"I know you're tired but you need to pay attention in class okay? Can you do that for me?"
"Yes mommy." She whispers with her eyes half closed.
"Good. Now what do you say when you greet new teachers?" I ask. She shrugs her shoulders and is close to closing her eyes but I wake her up again.
"You say, 'hi, my name is Amia. Nice to meet you.'".
"Hi, my name is Amia, nice to... meet you?" She repeats.
"Yes. That's my little girl." I kiss her cheek and grab her hand to begin walking out of the house.
She waves goodbye to Minerva and jumps off the porch instead of taking the small step.
As we make our way to the school, I kept looking around at other people with black coats, thinking one of them is Severus. I don't know why, but I'm hoping he could remember and just ask for forgiveness for something that he knows he did and not just because I said so. Will I forgive him? I'm not too sure. But I do miss him so much.
When we arrive at the school, I open the door for Amia and look for April. I trust her to take care of Amia.
"April?" I call out when I enter the office.
April looks around to see who called her with a cookie in her mouth. When she sees us, she quickly chews the cookie and swallows it like nothing.
"(Y/n). You made it just on time. And where is that little ray of sunshine?" She leans over the counter to look at Amia who is still yawning.
"Not an early bird. I feel you honey. Mornings are terrible." She says while getting a clipboard with two pieces of paper on it.
"For you (Y/n) I'm going to need you to sign this and the time you dropped off your little munchkin. And when you come back, you'll need to write down what time you picked her up. It's standard protocol. So if a student gets left behind, we know who dropped them off. Three foster kids often get left behind."
"Oh that's so sad." I say with sympathy.
"Oh I'm their foster mom. I forget their mine when I leave." She says it like a normal thing. Maybe I should reconsider trusting her with Amia.
"Okay girlies, we are all set. Are you ready for your first day of school honey?" She gets up from her chair and goes around the desk to look at Amia.
"Yes." Amia says quietly.
"Oh you are such a cute one. And I see you have the new light up sneakers. I'm so jealous." She kneels down and touches her shoes.
"Can you stomp your feet for me? I wanna see them light up the room!"
Amia giggles and stomps her feet, making the lights go off. I smile at the connection they have already. I never knew April would be so good with kids... except the foster kids, maybe.
"Look at that! It's a party up in here!" April grabs her hands and gently shakes her arms, making Amia smile and giggle.
"Okay sweetie, time to go. Want to say goodbye to your beautiful momma?" She asks.
"Bye mommy." Amia waves goodbye and reaches up to grab April's hand. I wave goodbye and watch them leave.
"She's mine now! I'm kidding." April was about to snatch her up but decided not to. I roll my eyes and watch them enter a classroom. My little Amia is growing up. And April still stays the same age inside. She's trusting though, surprisingly.
Soon I head out of the school and walk back towards Minerva's house. I want to go rest but at the same time I want to go back to Hogsmeade just to look and walk around. I want to see what changed and how many people I can still recognize. It's been a while and I want to feel that nostalgic feeling again.
So I decided to go to Hogsmeade for a while and just take in the view. So much has changed, including the Weasley's shop. I'm just sad George couldn't handle running the store alone. He sold it to someone else and now works somewhere else.
"(Y/n)?"
I turn around and see an employee slightly exiting from a store called Pippin's potions. I thought that was only in Diagon Alley. Maybe they made another one?
When I looked closer, I realize she was the cashier that used to give me and Severus discounts at the book store. I loved to read and Severus would always buy some books for me.
"Maria. Hi." I walk closer to her and see that she's aged a bit. She's probably 63 by now.
"How are you?"
"Same as always. Tired and still working overtime." She responds.
"What happened to the bookstore if you don't mind me asking?"
She sadly sighs and kisses her hand, blowing it up to the sky.
"My beloved Frank passed away four years ago. I couldn't sell enough books alone to keep the store. Money is everything around here these days."
"Maria I'm so sorry. You loved that store."
"I know you did too. And I'm terribly sorry about you and your husband."
"Oh, Maria, Severus wasn't my husband."
"Really? Oh that's right. He did mention marriage though." She says with a soft smile.
"What? What are you talking about?"
"You don't know?" She asks.
"No, I don't. What marriage?" I ask desperately.
"Oh sweetheart." She fully steps outside and closes the door behind her, leaning against the wall.
"Do you know how much that man loved you? Years ago that man was so desperate to find you, he looked everywhere. He asked everyone around here if they have seen you because this is your favorite place. And when he came to me, I saw in his eyes how much he missed you. For years he's been walking these streets every single day, hoping to find you. Some days, I saw how depression was on the very brink of taking over that man's life, even til this very day."
I became speechless from hearing how much time Severus spent looking for me. For years he's been searching for me? Every day for more than five years?
"A month after my beloved Frank passed away, I could not stand seeing that man out in the cold, searching every corner. I told him to sit down inside my bookstore for a while but he refused. He wanted to keep searching. And when I asked him why he is still searching, he showed me a beautiful diamond engagement ring."
"A ring?" I ask in shock with tears in the corner of my eyes.
"He wanted to marry me?"
"You were his everything (Y/n). He never knew why you left. He tried so hard to remember what he did wrong to make you leave but his mind will not let him. He asked for my help to make him remember but I was not about to smack him against the head with a rock."
I softly laugh and wipe some tears away.
"That man reminds me so much of my beloved Frank. My late husband looked all over the city for me when we were young. I told my frank that if he really loved me, he will find me again. And when he did, I married that man the second I got the chance. We raised two wonderful boys and one little girl. Our life was perfect. And I want that for you. I do hope he finds you (Y/n). Please don't make him find you all over again. He doesn't deserve that."
"I'll try not to." I jokingly say.
"Thank you for telling me."
Maria smiles and says her goodbyes.
It took me a long moment to process the information in my head. This whole time he kept looking for me and never even once took a day off. I didn't know he wanted to marry me. I didn't know he bought a ring. I was with him... most of the time.
Just thinking about it makes my heart shatter even more. We could've been happy together with a family that I've always wanted. He really did love me. Just like he said years ago.
*Flashback*
'As we kept lying on the bed, Severus caresses my cheek with the back of his hand, looking at me with much love and affection.
"Do you know how beautiful you are?" He whispers.
"Well you tell me everyday so I guess it must be true." I softly laugh as he smiles. I grab his hand and hold it tight between our faces.
"I love you Severus." I whisper.
"Not as much as I love you, my love." He removes his hand from mine and slightly lifts up my chin, softly pressing his lips on mine.
"You're everything to me, and I never wish to lose you." He mutters against my lips and gives me another kiss.
"I don't know what I'll ever do without you. You always make me feel perfect."
"That's because you are. A very beautiful, perfect, and loving woman who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I love you very much, and I do wish to have you as the mother of my children one day."
"Severus don't get any ideas right now. We have work to do and I'm hungry." I kiss his cheek and get up from the bed but Severus pulled my arm so I can lay back down.
"Let me make you breakfast. You stay here and look beautiful like the queen that you are." He lifts up my hand to kiss my knuckles. I just smile and get closer so I can hug him before letting him leave. He's so warm I could fall back asleep again.'
*End of Flashback*
The amount of times he's called me beautiful made me feel perfect in his eyes. I want to hear him say that again. I want him to treat me like he used to. But why did he have to do that to me? Why did he have to go out drinking?
After walking for a while longer, I turn the corner between two new stores but bump into a tall figure who was also turning the corner.
"Oh I'm so sorry." I look up and see a tall figure who looks like he's about to beat me up.
"Watch where you're going." He steps closer causing me to step back.
"Look, I don't want any proble-"
"Did no one ever teach you not to speak in front of a man's presence? Let alone talk back?" He says as if he's trying act buff.
"Excuse me? You have no right to-"
"You women are so-" He immediately stops talking when a wand was pointed just below his chin. I look over and see Severus stepping closer until the man backs away from me.
"This is your first and only warning. If I see you disrespecting my wife again, you will be obliterated." Severus warns. I had to snap out of my trance when he called me his wife and try to play along. But when I tried to grab his arm, he wrapped it around my lower back until his hand landed on my waist, pulling me closer to his body. Suddenly I feel safe and protected all over again. I felt butterflies in my stomach as if we just met for the first time. And just remembering what we had in the past did really make me feel like his real wife.
"Right. My apologies." The man looked like he slouched down and just walked away.
Severus held me there until the man was no longer in our view. When he left, Severus removed his hand and stepped away from me. I didn't want him to move at all. I felt protected.
"Thank you." I say quietly. Severus lifted up his hand to caress my cheek but he stopped himself. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead he just walks past me.
"Severus wait." I grab his arm before he could be out of reach. He stopped and looked down at my hand, not wanting to turn around.
"Please look at me." I say in a shaky voice. He let out a quiet sigh and slowly turned around, forcing himself to look me in the eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me? About marriage."
Severus can be seen swallowing his shame and guilt for what he's done.
"It's in the past." He says quietly.
"That doesn't answer my question. I didn't know you wanted to marry me." I say in disbelief.
"I used to. Though after hearing what I did, I don't believe it's fair to want it anymore." He says quietly with tears in his eyes. My heart broke even more from his words. I could feel the regretful tension radiating off of him.
"Severus I-"
"I will see you Saturday." He says before turning around and walking away.
"Wait!" I shout but he doesn't turn around. He keeps walking until he's no longer within my view. I want to go find him but I'm not sure how much time I'll have left before needing to pick up Amia. I don't want to make Minerva pick up Amia since she's my responsibility.
So I decided to head home and wait for Amia to get out of school. And I'm hoping for this week to go by fast. I want it to be Saturday just so I can see him again with Amia.
_____
During the week after dropping off Amia, I go back to Hogsmeade to see if I can find Severus again because I'm impatient. I want to see him but he's not around lately. I keep coming back to the same spot just in case but he doesn't show up when I want him to. I wish he did.
With the next few days I keep coming back hoping to just look into his eyes at least. Everyday I want something different. I want to hold his hand, I want to look into his eyes, I want to hear his voice, I want him to just stand there with me, and then suddenly, I want to feel his lips on mine. And right now I'm craving for his attention.
But I feel so guilty for wanting those things after knowing how much time he spent looking for me. I feel guilty after knowing he wanted to marry me. And this guilty feeling is slowly convincing my mind that Severus doesn't deserve me.
Is this what Severus had to go through when he went looking for me? Everyday feeling this way for years? I made him do this to himself?
When the time came to pick up Amia, I left Hogsmeade and went back to the school.
"Hey girl, do you want to sign here and the time slot please?" April points to where I need to sign but I feel like she forgets that I already know how to do this.
"Are you okay? You look pretty down lately."
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks."
"Well if you ever need anything just let me know. Okay?"
"Thanks April." I say quietly. She smiles and goes back to typing on the computer.
When I see Amia exit the classroom, she smiles at me and runs in excitement. I love it when she's happy to see me.
"Hi pumpkin. Ready to go home?" I say as I grab her hand.
"Ready." She tries to open the door but it was too heavy for her. So I secretly pushed it with her, making it seem like she did it.
"Well look at you Amia. Strong as an ant. How did you get those muscles?" I squish her little arms which made her giggle.
As we make our way towards Minerva's house, we see Bliss stretching in the sunlight on the grass. Amia runs over and sits next to Bliss, watching her bathe in the sun. I sit on the porch and watch two innocent little souls play together.
"You both made it on time for lunch." Minerva steps down and sits next to me on the porch. She noticed that I didn't respond like I used to.
"Is something wrong my dear?"
"I'm okay Minerva."
"You don't need to lie to me (Y/n). Tell me what's wrong." She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear to see my face better.
"Did you know Severus wanted to propose to me?" I ask quietly. I look over at Amia to make sure she doesn't hear our conversations.
"And the whole time I was gone, Severus never stopped looking for me. He's been searching every day, not remembering what happened." I let a tear fall onto the grass below me.
"I know." She rubs my back and watches Bliss to make sure she doesn't accidentally scratch Amia.
"You knew?"
"I tried telling you before. Severus is not one to give up when it comes to something he cares about. He truly loved you my dear. He wanted to know why you left." She explains.
"How did you know that's what he wanted?"
"He came begging for my help to find you." She looks at me and wipes a tear off my cheek.
"He came here days before you moved in again. I couldn't bare to see him so shattered. I had to find you dear, and I want to apologize for making you move here."
"You planned for me to move in again?"
"Possibly."
"But how did you know I'll find Severus here?"
"I may or may not have told your daughter to get some chocolate frogs." She says with a wink and goes back inside the house.
I sarcastically laugh in disbelief. She definitely knew what she was doing.
"Well thanks for that Minerva." I whisper to myself. I keep an eye on Amia as she sits on the grass with Bliss who is enjoying the sun. They both look so cute.
As I'm sitting on the porch, I look around to take in the view of trees and bushes all around us. Then my eyes landed at a couple who were walking on the other side of the street from us. The woman has a beautiful rose in her hand that her husband possibly gave her. She keeps smelling it and holding onto his arm as if saying thank you. I remember when Severus did that, but it was black rose petals. He wanted to make that night special for me, and he definitely did.
*Flashback*
⚠️ Sexual Content ⚠️
'"Thank you for inviting me to dinner Severus. It was delicious." I say while finishing up my plate of chicken alfredo.
"I'm glad you liked it." Severus finishes the firewhiskey drink that he poured not too long ago.
I finish my glass of white wine and stand up to pick up the plates.
"What are you doing?" Severus asks when I picked up his plate.
"I know you said you would wash the dishes but since I'm your guest, I think it's best if I do it."
"It's the other way around." He says.
"My mom always made me wash dishes as a guest. So I'm kind of used to it. Don't judge."
"It's called trauma." Severus mutters under his breath when I walked away with his plate and glass cup.
"I heard that!" I shout from the kitchen. I place the plates and cups in the sink and begin to wash them. As I do, I look around his kitchen and realize it's much nicer than mine. He even has a dish rack while I only have a towel laid out.
Suddenly I get startled when Severus placed his hands on my waist and stood behind me.
"You don't need to do the dishes." He says before kissing my cheek.
"It's fine Severus. It's only six things that I need to wash."
Before I could rinse the forks, Severus turned off the water and removed the utensils from my hands.
"Hey I was-" I get interrupted by his lips pressing on mine.
"You taste sweet." He mutters against my lips.
"And you taste bitter." I smile and turn back around to keep washing but Severus didn't let me. He lifted up my chin and slowly kissed me as if he was taking his time to enjoy it. When he slowly pulled away, I look at him wondering what that was for.
"I want to show you something." Severus grabs my hand and leads me to a room with a closed door. He gestures me to open it so I do.
Upon opening the door, a smile came across my face from seeing what's in front of me.
"Severus this is beautiful." I say while admiring everything.
I'm standing inside a room with a queen sized bed in the middle against the wall that has dark red sheets and dark red pillow case covers. On top there are little black rose petals scattered all over the sheets making those the perfect combination.
What I like most about it is that there are small lit candles placed around the room that captures the perfect setting for-
"Wait." I had to blink once more to make sure I'm actually seeing what I'm seeing.
"S-Severus what- wait you planned this?"
Severus doesn't say anything yet but instead walks past to stand in front of me.
My heart starts beating rapidly when he places a hand on my waist while he used the other to lift up my chin.
"I know we are still getting to know each other, but every time I see you, I see a very beautiful, smart, and talented woman who I wish to continue this relationship with. I am wanting to take this further with you, if you allow me."
I stare into his eyes wondering if he actually feels that way about us.
"Severus you really mean it? You want to make us... official?"
"I very much do, but if I am asking for too much today-"
"Are you kidding? Severus this is amazing. Why would I ever pass up on an opportunity like this if it's perfect?" I look at the room again to admire the perfect dim lighting for an occasion like this. It's so romantic.
"Besides..." I hold both of his hands in mine and take a small step closer to him.
"... since you were my first kiss, I was kind of hoping you could be my first experience?" I ask as a hint.
"I believe the dishes are done." He says before closing the bedroom door behind us. I smile at the fact that he didn't even hesitate.
"If you say so." I say while wrapping my arms around his neck as he leaned in to kiss me. When I part my lips, he slipped his tongue through them which caught me by surprise. He is always full of surprises.
After he pulled away, he grabs my hand and pulls me closer to the bed to begin taking off my clothes. I help him and he helps me take off each others clothes.
I unclip my bra and take it off like nothing, making Severus lose eye contact with me just so he can admire what's below my neckline.
"You're staring again." I smile at him when he finally looks up at me.
"Again?" He asks.
"I have eyes in the back of my head. I know you were looking at me when I bent over to reach for a quil on the other side of the desk since I was too lazy to walk around it."
"How would you know I was looking?"
"Because you made me grab an unnecessary piece of paper just so you can see me bend over again."
"I don't recall." He looks down to admire my breasts again.
"That was yesterday."
Severus looked up at me then looked away trying to remember if it was yesterday. I just laugh and step closer to give him a kiss. As his lips are locked onto mine, he gently pushes me back on the bed until I'm laying down.
Soon he goes downwards from my cheek until reaching my neck. He kept leaving butterfly kisses until finding a sweet spot I didn't know I had. As he's lightly biting and sucking on that spot, his hands find their way to cup my breasts and firmly squeeze them, making me let out a content sigh. I need this man to touch me more often.
Soon he begins to lower his hands until they're taking off my panties. He stands up straight again to slide them off my legs and throw them to the floor.
I sort of scoot back towards the middle of the bed just so he can have some space too. When I look back up at him, I see his eyes roaming my body as if he's admiring the view.
I admire my point of view when he starts to lower his boxers. When they reach his hips, I get turned on when my eyes look at his upper body. His slightly toned chest mixed with a fit dad bod makes him delicious.
As soon as his boxers came off, my legs had a mind of their own the moment I see what I'm about feel. My legs instantly spread apart as if I'm ready to invite him in. Severus chuckles under his breath and climbs onto the bed until he's on top of me. After adjusting himself between my legs, he lowers himself and begins to french kiss me. I place my left hand on the back of his neck while the other slides under his arm until reaching his shoulder from the back.
Severus began to slow this kiss down while one of his hands slide between our bodies to align himself.
After he pulled away from the kiss, he stayed close and slowly inserts himself. I grab hold onto his body while groaning as he keeps pushing himself in. Severus grunts against my lips when he felt my tightness invite him in until he stops.
I take a breath to calm myself down but knowing how Severus is, he's not wasting any time. So he slowly pulls out halfway and pushes himself in again. I kept groaning for the first several thrusts but I slowly started to feel pleasure.
I pull him down to kiss me again when I let my moans take over. Severus notices that his thrusts are making it pleasurable for me so he continues in a perfect pace.
Severus slowly pulls away from the kiss and begins to kiss my cheek until going down to my sweet spot on my neck.
I tilt my head back and close my eyes when all I feel is pure pleasure. Soft moans escape my lips as my walls kept inviting him in.
"Enjoying it aren't you?" Severus mutters against my neck and begins leave a trail of kisses up to my cheek. I just nod my head and let out a shaky moan when I feel something inside. Severus quietly chuckles against my cheek before reaching my lips.
After a few seconds, Severus began to give deep thrusts when he picked up the pace.
I heavily moan against his lips when he's continuously hitting my g-spot. My hands gripped onto his back for dear life from feeling this amount of pleasure.
Severus removes his lips and watches me enjoy him. My heavy moans along with my head tilted back, eyes closed, while my breasts stick onto his chest with every thrust made him feel like he's doing something right but illegal for anyone else to see, hear, and feel.
Suddenly I arch my back from feeling that perfect pressure between my legs. I let out an almost high pitched moan when I felt it again.
"Severus." I whimper his name from feeling my core take in so much. It felt like it became too much for me. My legs wanted to close just as my walls kept wrapping around his length, causing Severus to deeply moan from feeling the tightness.
What I would do to hear that again.
After a moment, I started to breathe heavily while trying to grab hold onto him as my legs began to shake.
When I arched my back, panic started rising within me from how my body was acting and feeling. I never had this feeling before and I didn't know how much pleasure was too much.
"W-Wait." I whimper as I try to push him off of me since I didn't know what this feeling is. It became too much but I also want more.
"Severus." My hands grip onto his shoulders as my body slightly trembles.
"Almost there." He whispers and continues at the perfect pace. I throw my head back as I feel myself on the edge of exploding.
When Severus feels me arching my back, hearing my moans, and sees what he's causing my body to do, something within him triggered.
He heavily moans and grabs hold onto the sheets while his other hand moves to grab hold onto the back of my thigh.
My nails dig into his skin just as I feel it. I feel myself right in the edge. My body can't take it anymore.
With a couple more thrusts, I arch my back and heavily moan when I felt that sudden pleasurable feeling of release. When Severus feels my muscles tighten around him, he deeply moans and thrusts himself once more to let his hot semen spurt into me from his pulsating length.
After I finish, my breath trembles and my body shakes from the aftermath. I did let my body relax but that first experience was not what I expected. Obviously I didn't expect worse but I didn't think he could be able to make me feel that way. I didn't know my body would react to such perfect and intense pleasure. All because of him.
Severus slowly pulls out and lays down next to me once he catches his breath. With every small move I make, my body shakes like if I just finished an intense workout session.
When I sit up straight and get off the bed, I softly gasp as my fluids begin to slide down my inner thighs. It was warm and felt like I needed to empty my bladder.
Severus got up from the bed and walked over to me. When he sees his semen coming from in between my legs, he looks up at me with hunger and desire.
"Severus. No. Once is enough." When I took a step forward, I grab hold onto his arm since my legs are shaking. He chuckles under his breath and wraps his arms around me.
"Feeling your beautiful naked body against me does not help." He whispers. I immediately push him away but still grab hold onto his arm for support.
Severus quietly laughs and helps me walk towards the bathroom for a shower. It hurts to walk but it was worth the pain knowing that Severus caused it. I would let him remove my ability to walk if it means having him again real soon. Just not today or tomorrow because it hurts.
*End of Flashback*
Everything was my first with him. I don't want another man to enter my life because I'll never have the same connection like I had with Severus. Besides, I don't think Amia wants a stepdad.
"Mommy!" Amia runs up to me with Bliss in her arms. I start to laugh when Bliss is just barely hanging on to Amia's arms.
"Yes sweetheart?"
"Does stranger like cats?" She asks.
"Um, I-I don't know sweetheart. Maybe." I answer.
"Can we ask him?"
"He's not here right now. But you can ask him on Saturday, okay?"
"Okay." She smiles and goes back to the grass where the sun is hitting.
I need to change her clothes since she's sitting on mud.
_____
Friday morning comes in an instant. I take Amia to school in her new outfit that Minerva bought yesterday. It's a blue shirt with a small shiny star design in the middle along with leggings and a new purple coat.
"Alright Amia. Listen to your teacher, okay?" I kiss her cheek a couple times making her giggle.
"Okay mommy." She let go of my hand and entered the classroom with a couple friends she made. I'm so glad she's getting along with others.
After dropping off Amia, I head back to Minerva's house to sleep for a bit. I couldn't sleep the past couple days from thinking about seeing Severus again tomorrow.
I'm not sure if I'm worried about Severus being there for Amia or if I'm worried about wanting to talk to Severus again and just forgive him. He's so regretful for what he did that he doesn't want to marry me anymore or even look at me. He didn't even ask for forgiveness on Monday because he already knows I won't forgive. How much regret does that even take for him to stop trying? Especially after more than five years.
When I arrive back at the house, I go into my room and flop down on the bed, hoping to get enough sleep this time.
*Dream*
'I'm walking down the streets of Hogsmeade with Amia holding my hand. We walk past a few people until we make it to an empty alleyway. When we turn back around, we see Severus looking at me then at Amia.
"Daddy!" Amia let go of my hand and runs to Severus. He crouches down and catches her before she falls.
"I miss you daddy." She whispers as she hugs his neck with her small arms and rests her head on his shoulder.
Severus became speechless when she called him the name of what he wanted to be one day. Suddenly he hugs her tight and felt the need to keep her safe. When he stood up straight, he kept holding onto her and let a tear run down his cheek.
"Amia we have to go." I say looking away from Severus.
"I want to go with daddy." She complains and keeps on hugging him.
"Amia let's go. Now." I try not to raise my voice at her but she doesn't want to let go of him.
Severus crouches down again to let her stand on her own.
"Listen to your mother." He whispers as he holds her hand. Amia shakes her head and tries to go back into his arms but he refused her.
"No matter where you are, I will always be there for you." Severus sadly smiles and hugs her one last time.
"Forgive me little one." He whispers in a shaky voice before kissing her forehead. After that, he stands up and forces himself to leave. Amia tries to follow but I grab her arm. She begins to cry at the sight of Severus disappearing from us.
When I try to pull her back, she kept refusing and crying out loud.
"Amia stop." I try to stop her but she kept on trying to yank herself out of my grip. That's when I picked her up and held onto her with my arms. She reached out with her arms over my shoulder as if she wanted Severus to carry her. It hurt my heart when she started screaming and crying for him. She wasn't going to stop.'
*End of Dream*
I wake up with tears running down the side of my face. Remembering that dream made me feel like a monster for doing that to Severus. Am I making him feel this way?
And the way Amia called Severus like her actually dad made it seem like she needed to find him for a reason. Deep down I feel like she knows but I can't jump to conclusions.
I sit up straight and wipe some tears away but it's hard knowing that I'm causing this. Amia is going to find out who Severus is and if I try to stop her from seeing him, she'll hate me and complain that she wants Severus instead. I don't want to lose my little girl.
"Are you alright?" Minerva stands in the doorway of the bedroom with a concerned look.
I look up at her with red eyes as I'm trying to hold onto my sniffles. But whenever I think of Severus being forbidden to see Amia, I get emotional and feel like a real monster.
So I stand up and walk over to hug her.
"It's alright my dear." She consoles and rubs my back for comfort. I sob into her shoulder for a bit until I'm finally able to breathe properly.
I pull away from the hug and wipe my tears away.
"I don't know what to do anymore Minerva. I want Severus back but how I can trust him again?"
"All it takes is patience dear. The only thing you can do, is see how much he is willing to protect both of you. Then you will know."
I nod my head and relax in her arms once again.
I really want to see Severus again but if I'm ever going to trust him again, I need to have some answers. I need to know if he's never going to drink again.
I need to know what happened.