Thoughts: I'm going to say, off the bat, the story does need a lot of editing; certain things don't sound right and do not flow right. When it comes to what they say like they say King father, it should be father the king or it should be like my father the king. The way that they have it doesn't sound right. Also, when I'm reading through the story, and this is just the beginning, it just has a lot of things that need to be edited. So, it was kind of hard to get past the intro. They also mentioned something about the father having more power than the son. And once again, when I was reading that little part of the story, it confused me like it needed to be edited. As you continue to read the story, it gets more interesting, and the story structure flows better. It all still has very unique characters. Also, it seems to be written very well; the characters develop well as you read, and the storyline flows well. It doesn't seem like it needs any editing as you go into the chapters, which is a good thing; the one thing I would critique is maybe looking for a different cover or something bold or something to stand out. I feel that would get a lot more reads; the story flows very nicely. It gets confusing because you have to understand it doesn't go like chapter 1 or chapter 2. It's a series, I believe, so it goes through chapters 1.2, 1.1, 1.3, etc. you would think it would take away from the story because it is confusing, but at the end of the day, it does not take away at all. I think the beginning of the story, or the prologue, might not have been the best when it comes to how it flowed or the fact that it needed some correction. But when you get into the story, it gets better, it flows better, the characters develop better, and you can see that there's so much more room for each character to grow more, which is what I always think is very well needed for any story you're writing. Because if you're writing a story where the characters cannot grow, you need to rewrite the story. Simply because no matter if you're writing one book or a series of books, your characters always need to grow. They always need to have fears, and they always need to have obstacles they need to overcome. If not, then the story isn't a story. It's just a character that's overpowering. This is a fascinating story, and I can see why it's popular originally. It has a lot of originality in it.
Thank you for letting me review your story. 📚
🪷A. D🪷
Percentage:75%
Chapter I read:5
Recommend yes/ no? I'm not sure if I would or not, so for that reason. I will still add it to my recommended books. It might not be 100% for me, but I'm sure it will be for a follower of mine.
Summary of book
ON THE DAY OF RECKONING, THE REBELLION WILL MAKE ITS MOVE.
To achieve immortality, King Diablo plans on performing a ritual that will sacrifice every soul in the Capital. Decan Lancaster, his own son who is unable to perform the magic of jynx, takes up arms and starts a rebellion to stop him. Decan may have been at a disadvantage, but he perseveres and manages to stop his father's ritual and save the city. However, King Diablo lays waste to the rebellion and, in a fit of rage, brands Decan as a traitor and executes him.
But in a twist of fate, Decan is reincarnated 112 years later as a baby boy named Ilias Payne. As time passes, the lines between Decan's past and Ilias' present become blurred.
Will our reincarnated hero make the most out of his second chance at a normal life? Or will he choose to embroil himself in yet another growing conspiracy, this time one that concerns the fate of the world?
AUTHORS WARNING
Remember that these are, in fact, my thoughts and only mine alone. You do not have to like them or agree with them in any way. But because they are my thoughts, they are final, which means they can not be swayed or changed in any way. If you do decide to disagree with my thoughts and attack me directly in the comments or DM, I will block you and add you to a block list. Therefore, never reviewing your work ever again.
🪷A.D🪷