Every great thing had to come to an end as their mini vacation had eventually ended and now the four friends were back to their normal daily routines. Minji back to her job, Yongbok's back to preparing for his departure while you and Hanni back to university life.
"Haerin-ah~" Hanni called out to her friend next to her as soon as their class ended. "Yeah~" Haerin turned to face her friend with a smile. At this point the two are as close as they could possibly be. "I actually got you something when I'm at Jeju..."
"This is interesting... first time I'm receiving something from Pham Pham Hanni." Haerin even got Hanni a nickname only she can use and Hanni's more than happy about it. Hanni went into her bag before taking out a small pocket size frog plush toy.
"Oh my god that's a cute one..." Haerin's excited just by seeing the toy as Hanni handed it to her. "Wait I have one more..." Hanni then took a soft squishy hello kitty figure.
"Yongbok suggested this to me. You can do this..." Hanni began squeezing the toy gently and made her friend laughed genuinely at it. "Yongbok did? This is great..." Haerin immediately grabbed onto it and began squishing it and giggled in every squeeze.
"Thank you Pham Pham~" Haerin's day got a lot better with the gifts from Hanni as they're leaving their lecture room, heading for the cafeteria as it's already lunch period.
Haerin and Hanni got a table as they're eating their lunches while waiting for the whole two hours before their last class for today starts. Hanni's eyes were wandering around before she noticed how Haerin's been giggling to herself quietly every time she picked her phone up.
"You know I never tell you this before Haerin..." Hanni said as she gained her friend's attention. "...but seeing you and Yongbok together actually makes me feel happy." That statement made Haerin's cheeks flushed in gentle redness.
"Thank you, but right now we're still just friends. Yongbok is... umm he's totally the opposite of who I am..." Haerin's lips slowly curved a light smile as she's picturing his face. "He's bright, he's cheerful. Sometimes shares an opinion with me, sometimes not. He knows his boundaries and he's respectful to me and my space."
"...I appreciate Yongbok so much. I wish I'd talk to him more back in high school but I know there's a reason we're getting this close at this stage of our lives." Haerin continued as Hanni's listening diligently with a light smile. "...but it's just..." Haerin then sighed silently as she couldn't continue.
"What exactly is making you hesitating? What's keeping you from accepting him completely." Hanni gently placed her palm onto Haerin's hand. "...it's okay, I'll listen to you."
"Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone but deep inside..." Haerin had to breath in for a moment as she didn't want to tear up but eventually did anyway. "...deep inside there's this voice, a crying voice that's just screaming for him to stay?"
That left Hanni in silence... she didn't know what to respond to that but she understood Haerin. They've only been creating memories for each other for a short while and one of them had to say goodbye to the other while she doesn't want him to go.
"I'm afraid of being attached to someone and not being able to be their support because I can't even support myself when I'm down... Yongbok's the brightest man I've been close, the only man that I'm close to and I know he has a soft heart. He'll break down more than me and I don't want that..." Haerin had to look down because of the tears dropping down her eyes and she didn't want anyone to see her like that.
"It's okay to cry Haerin..." Hanni gave her friend's shoulder a few gentle comforting caresses. "...crying doesn't make you any weaker. It shows that you're a human with feelings just like anyone else."
"Sorry..." Haerin couldn't say more as she's drying her tears with her sleeves.
"Can you be honest with me?" Hanni leaned closer to Haerin as she looked at Hanni's smiling lightly. "Have you ever look at him and thought to yourself... 'I wish I knew you earlier'...?" Haerin unknowingly regained her smile, let it be a weak one as she nodded her head.
"I thought about that yesterday while he's showing me pictures that he took during his trip." Haerin recalled the laughters and memories she and Yongbok made the night before and slowly but surely she got it. "I think that, no I surely believe that one of my favourite feelings to have now is being with someone and realizing half way through how much I enjoy him and his existence."
"There you go..." Hanni patted Haerin's head, making the girl chuckled. "Yongbok might not look the part but he's the sunshine in our group, that man just glued the five of us together."
"You don't know how happy I am to be included in this group of friendship with you all. I'm forever thankful." Haerin's voice sounded sincere as Hanni just rest her head on her friend's shoulder. "Don't mention it."
In a few moments Haerin's phone rang and seeing Yongbok's name on her screen, she looked over to Hanni as she nodded her head before sitting back up straight.
"Hey~" Haerin answered the call with the softest voice she usually used. "Have you eaten already?" His deep voice echoed into her ears as she smiled lightly. "Already, I've just finished my lunch right now with Hanni."
"Oh really? I was going to get lunch and wanted to ask if you want to go with me." Yongbok tried to sound calm but even Haerin could hear the light disappointment in his voice. "Maybe tomorrow you can take me to dinner?"
"Wow~ Are you asking me out this time? Is this how you usually feel when I asked you out? So excited~" Haerin silently chuckled by his reaction. "Maybe. But yes I am asking you out to dinner tomorrow. What do you say?"
"It's definitely a date. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Yongbok sounded happy and it made her happy as well. "Take care. Bye-bye~"
Hanni's on the side was all smiles while watching Haerin was all smiles in her phone call. But deep down, deep down in her heart, there's a hidden, small glimpse of envy crawling whilst it was overshadowed by the amount of happiness she had for her friends.
Hanni's eyes wandering around the cafeteria to kill some time before her eyes landed on a stairs leading to the upper floor and what made her eyes stayed there was a man walking down from it but to her surprise, the man was really familiar and then it hit her.
He's the same man that she collided with back at the café back in Jeju. As she's staring, eventually the guy's eyes made contact with hers and instantly she looked away.
Never in her life would she expected this and she prayed that he doesn't remember her.
You had quite a long day with classes and the literature club and didn't even had the time to spend with Hanni. Now at home, on your bed, you're just resting the fatigue away before the memories of Jeju immediately flooded in your head.
Already in the mood of reminiscing, you watched through the photos you took, photos of you and Yongbok, you and Minji and of course the most photos you took were of you and Hanni. You could only wish that the trip would never end but obviously it's not possible and life goes on.
Getting off your bed, you went over to your desk as you're taking out the one special notebook. The notebook where the poems you've written in it is for Hanni and Hanni only.
As you're flipping through pages, trying to get to a new one and then it suddenly hit you. You're already at the very last page of the book. At that moment, you're flooded with mixed feelings.
Some part of you was proud that you've managed to finish a book of poems while the majority part of you was so disappointed that you've already got this far yet nothing's changed. You're still indecisive. You're still afraid. You're still terrified of losing her.
You're still Hanni's best friend.
A loud sigh of frustration came out your lips as you leaned back, disappointed in yourself over and over again. But it had to be done. You have to finish the book. Getting your pen ready as you're picturing scenarios after scenarios inside your head.
You calmed yourself down as you flipped through the pages and pages of poems before you put your pen on the paper.
"if I write one poem everyday for a year
then I will have 365 ways to tell you how much I love you
if I write two poems everyday for a year
then I will have 730 ways to tell you how much I love you
if I write three poems everyday for a year
then I will have 1095 ways to tell you how much I love you
and so on
and so forth
what I'm trying to say is that
ever since that night by the campfire
I haven't been able to write about anything
except for how much I love you
and I'd spend everyday
of the rest of my life
writing millions of poems
to tell you how much I love you
cause God, do I love you
but even I know that words couldn't do justice for this love"
Closing the book after another sigh, you immediately got out of your room, got your keys and got into your car before driving off. Your ride took you to Minji's shop who's a half an hour away from closing.
As you walked in, Minji noticed you from the counter. "Hey~ You okay?" She asked, worried of the uneasy expression on your face. "Can I have some waffles?" You asked out of the blue as Minji just raised her eyebrows. "Really? You came all the way here for waffles only?"
"Of course not..." Your sigh made Minji instantly understood. "Okay, just sit down, I'll get you your waffles."
"Thanks." You sat down at the table near to the counter and waited for a while before Minji came to you with a plate of freshly made waffles and ice cream on top. "You alright?" She asked as she sat down across of you.
"Yeah I'm alright. I just want to wind off away from my room tonight. Had a lot of things in my head." You replied before taking slow bites of your food. "Talk to me. I'm all ears."
Just as you're about to speak, the sound of bells echoed in the room, signalling someone's entered the shop. "Kim Minji~" A loud yet deep male voice soon greeted you two as you faintly recognized that voice.
Minji on the other hand, stood up with the happiest, brightest smile on her face as she knew who that voice belonged to.
"Oppa~" Her loud squeal echoed as she saw her brother walking towards her and she immediately went into his embrace, letting months and months of longing pour out of her.
"You didn't tell me that you're coming tonight? Are you surprising me? Gosh I'm so happy to see you." Minji couldn't contained her happiness. "I came all the way from Anyang because I miss you and I miss mom and dad alright." Mingyu patted his sister's head.
"Mingyu hyung~" Even your uneasiness faded away for a minute as you gave Mingyu a brotherly hug. As you're an only child, Mingyu's always been a big brother figure for you ever since you and Minji became friends.
"You're staying? Tell me you're staying for the night." Minji asked as she's hopeful and Mingyu's nod made her night. "Can we talk for a bit?"
"Sure." She replied and you immediately went back to your seat, giving them privacy. "I didn't actually come here without a purpose. Well my purpose is that I missed you all but there's other things."
"Other things? And that is?" Minji asked as Mingyu patted her shoulders. "Someone wants to see you." And instantly the smile on Minji's smile slowly fading away. "Who?"
Mingyu went back to the door and went outside as Minji just saw her brother seemingly waving at someone outside, signaling that person to come in.
And her fear was right, as soon as someone else walked in, her heart that used to be broken felt like it's been crushed again and this time, it's somehow more painful than ever.
"What are you doing here Jeongin..." Her eyes flooded with tears immediately, her head head flooded with unwanted memories back as the sight of her used to be best friend, her crush that broke her heart was now standing in front of Minji.
I have a confession to make. Right now I'm currently writing chapter 34 for this story. Yup. Chapter 34. I went overboard but the reason I'm not publishing more is because, I tend to read back a chapter that I'll publish in the coming days and would probably added some missing details or probably changing things here and there.
But hey if you keep on supporting this book, you're a true legend and I respect you good sir/madam. Thanks again and just a heads up, the next chapter's a fluff and angst in one but for who? We'll see next Saturday.