Months passed without me accomplishing anything truly meaningful. I spent a lot of time with Miaka and Mana, wandering through the city, desperately trying to pass through the gate - to no avail. Every attempt failed, and I was thrown back each time.
"Try taking off those bracelets," Mana suggested one day, but even that proved fruitless. I tried every means at my disposal, including my Zanpakuto, but they stubbornly clung to my arms. It was maddening. Initially, I was consumed by anger, but gradually, sorrow and despair took its place. I became melancholic.
"Akari," it was Mana who caught up with me during one of my walks. At first, she used to address me as Captain Miyazaki, and it took her some time to understand that I was no longer a member of the Got 13 - and never would be again.
"I think you should go to Seireitei," she suggested, and I sighed.
"I am banned from there," I explained to her for what felt like the thousandth time.
"And have you always followed all the rules? They can't forbid you from visiting your own family house," she protested, and I pondered over it.
"Besides, you're so fast that no one will even see you." She was particularly impressed by my Shunpo abilities.
"Your friends must miss you by now," I heard her say softly, then she took my hand and pulled me along.
"Plus, Mother and I have a gift for you!"
I followed her through the village streets. After a short walk, we stood in front of a shop where a young woman was examining something with Miaka. I entered, realizing it was a tailor shop.
"Ah, Akari, there you are," Miaka greeted me and pulled me closer.
"This is for you." I looked at a mannequin with clothing on it. I was still wearing my Shinigami uniform, and I knew I shouldn't be. But deep down, I had still held onto a glimmer of hope that I would soon return to Seireitei. I took a deep breath.
"My mother always told me that when you're heartbroken, sometimes changing something about yourself can help..." I gazed at the mannequin.
It was a tight-fitting black suit with three-quarter sleeves and legs. It seemed to be made of a sturdy material. Over it was a kind of white kimono top that was tied around the waist and flowed like a skirt over the pants, shorter in the front.
"This is an old warrior outfit that I've modified," began the young woman, obviously the tailor. "It's very durable, fire-resistant, and stretchy."
I quickly put it on, and it fit like a glove. I felt immediately comfortable in it. It was different from the loose kimonos of the Shinigami and had a bit of a rebellious edge, which suited me better.
"A high ponytail would look great with it, I'm sure," the tailor mumbled, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I had usually worn my long black hair loose, which made me look very proper, but that was about to change. I tied my hair up into a high ponytail, securing it with a violet ribbon and making a small bow.
It had the same color as my eyes.
Only then did I notice some violet stitches on the white fabric, forming small patterns. Everything was harmonious. I really looked like an ex-captain now. Somewhat rebellious - I liked it.
"Thank you," I managed to say, and stared in the mirror for a while. Even though it was just an outfit, it somehow gave me new strength.
"I thank you, truly. I will go to Seireitei tonight," I announced and winked at Mana, who nodded enthusiastically.
I bid them farewell and promised to be back soon. It didn't take me long to reach Seireitei this time; I knew the way. The sky was red as I stood before the massive gate. How could I get through? But then I saw a friendly face: Jidanbou the gatekeeper grinned at me. We were quite familiar with each other, as I had often used this gate to enter Rukongai.
He lifted the gate just a bit so I could slip through. "Thank you," I whispered, and he snorted.
"Akari is no criminal," he said quietly, and I was so grateful for his trust that it warmed my heart.
"Good to see you," he added, and I said my goodbye with a firm hug. In a matter of minutes, I had reached my house. I snuck across the yard and noticed that only one room in our house was still lit: my room.
I crept into the garden and crouched between two bushes, where I could see my brother through the window. He was sitting at my desk, but his gaze wasn't fixed on any documents; instead, it was lost in the distance. I moved closer and only now noticed that the window was slightly ajar. As close as I was, he should have noticed me, but he continued to dream.
While he was a relatively good fighter, he hadn't trained his Kido abilities as well.
"What are you dreaming about?" I asked, and he jerked so violently that he almost fell off his chair.
"Akari!" He leaped up and flung the window wide open, allowing me to climb in. It felt like we hadn't seen each other for years. His hair had grown a few inches, and his eyes looked weary. He had lost some weight, as if he had been through a lot of anguish.
"I missed you! Oh, cool outfit!" In his embrace, I could feel his joy at seeing me again, and I tried to return that feeling.
"But why are you sitting in my room?" I asked, blinking back a few tears.
"Well... sometimes, I sit in here because it makes me feel closer to you," again, tears threatened to spill, and I held him close once more.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to come here."
"It's okay. But promise me you'll come more often from now on, okay?"
I promised him.
"Akari," I turned abruptly as my mother entered the kitchen; she must have overheard us.
Yamachi shot her a worried look. Her hair was disheveled, and she had hastily wrapped herself in a morning robe. I embraced her cautiously; she looked exhausted, and her illness had worsened.
She held me in her arms for a while, whispered in my ear that I should come by more often, and then went back to bed.
"It's getting worse," Yamachi whispered as he added vegetables to the pot where the meat was simmering. We had moved to the kitchen, after getting our mother back to her room. I sat there for a while, waiting for the meal.
"What have I missed?" I asked, and Yamachi rolled his eyes. "Oh," he said, and began to tell me.
"Rangiku runs into walls, you know," he explained, trying not to burn his mouth on the food. "With Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tousen as captains, it's not that easy, especially because she now occupies the highest rank in the Tenth."
I furrowed my brow. "Gin is a captain?"
Yamachi paused briefly and nodded slowly. "Third Division."
It took me a moment to process that. I knew Gin had been strong enough to assume a captain's role for a long time. Perhaps Aizen had just allowed it now. I clenched my fists, but Yamachi continued cheerfully.
"Byakuya seems to stay out of pretty much everything. At least outwardly, but I've heard that some of Aizen's plans have gone awry somehow. I'm pretty sure Byakuya is pulling the strings in the background without being detected. He has the support of the Kuchiki family, and they do whatever he asks without question."
I smiled; that sounded like Byakuya, and I felt a touch of satisfaction. At least not every plan of Aizen's was going as he had hoped, which was a start.
After finishing the meal, I leaned back and brought up a topic that had been on my mind, although I didn't want to admit it, not even to Yamachi.
"Is there... already a successor for my position?"
I tried to make it sound as casual as possible, but I could tell from Yamachi's look that he had seen through me. He smiled.
"Rangiku is defending that job; she's eliminated all potential candidates so far. I believe she's getting help from her officer, that Shin-guy. She herself doesn't want the job, she knows she wouldn't pass the test, and the captain's position is a bit too high for her."
I was proud of Rangiku, even though I felt guilty that the Tenth Division had been without a captain for a long time before me. For a while, we sat there, smiling peacefully at each other, when I felt something that sent shivers down my spine.
Yamachi looked at me, worried. "What's wrong?"
"Mother's Reiatsu!" I jumped up.
Our mother's spiritual pressure had just dropped to a minimum. I ran to her room, threw the door open, and saw her pleading gaze.
Quickly, we sat with her.
"Akari, Yamachi..." I gazed at her for a moment and realized that her condition was very serious.
"Get Unohana!" I shouted at Yamachi, but our mother shook her head.
"No, it would only buy me a few more days, during which I'd just be sleeping," she managed to say, and I stared at her in disbelief.
"Listen to me, Akari," her voice was thin, almost a whisper.
"I know I didn't always do everything right with you. Your father loved you very much, and so did I... you've become two wonderful people. Akari, you will find your way back because, no matter how many lies and intrigues are spun, the truth will always prevail."
Her words lingered in my mind for a long time.
"Don't fight to the death when there's nothing to protect, do you hear?"
I had to smile; that had been her first rule of combat. The very first one she had ever taught us.
"You have so much of your father in you," she whispered, and I felt her Reiatsu continue to fade.
"Akari... watch over your brother. He needs you more than you realize. And look after your friends, everything you love. That's more important than anything else in life. I'm so sorry, Akari. I've done many things I'm not proud of. Don't repeat my mistakes, don't get carried away... I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, Akari."
I didn't know what she was talking about, and her eyes stared through me, making me realize her mind wasn't entirely with us.
"Mother, there's nothing to forgive. It's all okay."
"I'm so sorry, so sorry... I love you."
She closed her eyes, and her final breath sounded so peaceful that I stepped back. Finally, her suffering had ended. Suddenly, I realized she had been waiting for me. Enduring pain and exhaustion to see me one last time before she left.
Yamachi squeezed my shoulder as our mother's body began to dissolve into spiritual particles.
We left the room and collapsed in the living room. Yamachi held me in his arms, and we sat on the floor, silently sobbing the entire night.
At some point, I was so exhausted that my eyes closed. The awakening was equally unpleasant.
Yamachi shook me awake, and I immediately felt what concerned him: Captain Unohana was very close to our house.
"You need to go," he whispered, and I nodded. I knew what would happen next. When someone died in the Soul Society, their body completely dissolved, and only experienced healers could confirm their death by analyzing the scene.
For nobles, like my mother, the Captain of the Fourth Division came in person. She must have sensed her Reiatsu vanishing and rushed to our location.
I climbed out of a window, completely suppressing my Reiatsu. I would have liked to be there, be at my brothers side, but I didn't want to get him into trouble for allowing me, a criminal, to stay at his house. I rushed away.
I knew they would soon announce my mother's death.
When nobles died, a black flag, with a smaller flag bearing the family emblem beneath it, was raised in front of the family's house. There would soon be a funeral, a ceremony to honor the deceased and carve the name of the deceased into the large marble plaques in the cemetery. I had seen our plaque several times. It was huge, and our father's name was the last one carved.
I sighed and looked around. I couldn't miss my own mother's funeral, could I? I had to find a way to attend somehow. I stealthily entered the Tenth Division and was surprised to find the Captain's quarters exactly as I had left them. My things were still scattered everywhere.
I searched the large wardrobe for an old raincoat with a hood. That would be perfect. I sneaked back through the main building and noticed that Rangiku's desk still held the glass orb I had given her to have conversations with while in the bath.
A smile crossed my face. Did she occasionally chat with the orb? I disappeared into the streets of Seireitei, my hood pulled low, hiding my Reiatsu. I knew I had to look conspicuous, but I preferred them to think of me as a petty criminal rather than knowing who I truly was.
For a while, I strolled through the city, memorizing every nook and cranny, as if I were seeing it for the first time. A sad smile and a pang in my heart hit me when I reached the intersection leading to the Etiquette School.
It was where I had saved Kisuke from the bullies. Did he still carry that hat with him? During his time as a captain, he had worn it mostly in his free time, as it looked ridiculous with his captain's haori.
Suddenly, a horn sounded, and I looked up. In the distance, I saw a black flag, and my mother's death came back to the forefront of my mind. I swallowed and slowly made my way to where I knew the ceremony would be held; they were always in the same place.
As I tried not to walk too quickly, a few other Shinigami streamed out of the buildings and headed there.
"Don't you want to wait for your captain?" I heard a voice call after the young Shinigami, who immediately froze and looked back in slight worry. A man in a captain's haori stepped out of the door, and I recognized the emblem of the Third Division.
"Of course, Captain Ichimaru," one of the Shinigami stammered, and Gin chuckled quietly to himself. I held my breath, only now realizing that I was in the territory of the Third Division. Anger welled up inside me as he casually strolled after the Shinigami. How could he walk through Seireitei without a care in the world?
He grinned broadly, as if nothing had ever happened. I had to take a deep breath to control my anger. While Gin was distracted, I passed the small group. I could have used Shunpo, but that would have revealed my Reiatsu, which I didn't want to risk.
"Hey, you," Gin's voice sounded suspicious.
"You with the hood," he called again. I stopped abruptly and turned around.
"Yes?" I replied, trying to suppress my anger.
"Why are you so well-concealed? It's a beautiful day," he said, gesturing to the blue sky.
"Someone just passed away. There's nothing beautiful about it, Gin Ichimaru," I nearly spat his name, turned around, and decided to use my Shunpo after all. It didn't matter anymore.
I had to vanish without them even getting a glimpse of how I ran away. I knew Gin had recognized me. The moment I had uttered his name, his eyes had flickered, and his grin contorted into a grimace.
Would he rat me out to Aizen?
I hoped he still had enough heart to let me be part of my mother's funeral. I gasped in surprise when I realized I had reached the place. Chairs were set up, the first three rows were always reserved for the nobility. I saw the Kuchiki family and sneaked in behind them. Byakuya sat directly in front of me, his wife beside him, her eyes red, staring at the marble plaque in front of us.
I took a deep breath and concentrated on releasing a tiny hint of my Reiatsu, just long and strong enough for Byakuya to notice.
Byakuya sat upright, and Hisana looked at him, puzzled.
"Byakuya-Sama...?" she asked, but he just shook his head.
"I was just thinking..." he mumbled and leaned back. The ceremony began. The first to speak was the Captain-Commander. He couldn't speak at every funeral, but he was always present at those of the four major noble families. He spoke about the enrichment my mother had been for the nobility, her kindness, but also her strength after my father's death and her resilience.
Next, Yamachi stepped forward, his eyes were red, and I knew mine must look similar. He told a story from our childhood, things many people hadn't known about our mother. That she was indeed a formidable fighter, despite never attending the academy, and that she had taught us a lot and was always there for us.
"What I mean to say is, she wasn't just the head of a noble family. She was a loving and wonderful mother."
Tears welled up in my eyes again, and I swallowed a lump in my throat. Yamachi remained at the front for a moment, staring into the crowd. His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something more, but he closed it and returned to his seat in the first row. I noticed he had clenched his fists, and I furrowed my brow. Yamachi only did that when he was very, very angry.
I stared at him for so long that I didn't initially notice the next speaker until he raised his voice, and I realized in horror that Sosuke Aizen was standing in front of our family's marble plaque, giving a eulogy for my mother. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. I gripped the arms of my chair and felt my Reiatsu slipping out of control.
"On a ceremony like this, everything should be peaceful, don't you think, Hisana?" Byakuya asked his wife, who blinked at him in confusion. But I knew his words were directed at me.
I took a deep breath and regained control. I averted my gaze from Aizen, only to meet Gin's eyes, who sat in the same row as I did, on the other side of the aisle. There was no smile on his lips, and he, too, clung to his chair. His behavior confused me so much that I momentarily forgot my anger. He mouthed two words: "Stay calm."
His gaze held a warning that sent a shiver down my spine. I slowly relaxed and leaned back in my chair. I paid no attention to what Aizen said about my mother's big heart, kindness, and recent tragedies that had affected her deeply. I knew he only wanted to make me angrier. He wanted me to believe that my banishment had caused her death, but I knew that wasn't true.
I knew her life had been hanging by a thread for years. Besides, the thought that Gin hadn't betrayed me to Aizen comforted me. It was as if I had found a glimmer of faith in the good once more.
Not everything in this world was bad, even though I had just lost my mother. I had to believe in something good; otherwise, I wouldn't be able to fulfill the things my mother had wished for in her final moments.
I disappeared before the ceremony ended. I witnessed the beginning of the carving but then carefully slipped through the rows of chairs, without Aizen even turning around once to look for me.
I didn't know where to go. Our house would be full of noble visitors today, offering their condolences to Yamachi, so I sneaked into the Kuchiki estate. I knew where a spare key was hidden and let myself into the villa. I settled into a chair in the living room and looked at the photos on the mantelpiece.
Some older pictures of Ginrei Kuchiki were still around, but there was also one of Byakuya, Yamachi, and me, just before we were admitted to the academy. Next to them were many new photos I didn't know. Pictures of Hisana and Byakuya, hand in hand under cherry trees, by a small pond, and there was even one where they kissed, which surprised me, as Byakuya had never been a fan of such displays.
However, it brought a smile to my face; at least one of us had found happiness, and it warmed my heart. The door slowly slid open, and I gazed into Hisana's large eyes. She blinked in surprise and then rushed towards me.
"Akari-Sama!" she called and embraced me.
"I'm so sorry," she added with a mournful expression, and I thanked her. Byakuya entered the room and cast me a glance. Hisana now stood beside him, and he gently stroked her black hair.
"Can you make us some tea?" he requested.
She nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. I briefed Byakuya on the things I had experienced since leaving Seireitei, including the black bracelets.
"I can't imagine that the people from the Central 46 would impose such a punishment," Byakuya murmured thoughtfully, and the thought began to circulate in my mind. I hadn't even considered that.
"Do you think... Aizen's behind this?" I asked, and Byakuya didn't react, which I took as agreement.
Hisana's tea was exquisite. She managed to infuse the otherwise bland brew with a unique and intense flavor. I had several cups and spent a few hours with them. As the sun set, I bid my farewells.
"Come visit us again soon," Hisana suggested, and I nodded. Byakuya gave me a serious look, telling me to be cautious.
I sneaked through Seireitei and, before I could even think about it, found myself in front of the Tenth Division's main building.
"If you don't move your behinds and get your work done, you'll have to deal with Haineko!" a voice yelled so loudly that I flinched and hid behind a corridor's corner. The Shinigami who had been scolded ran off in annoyance, and I recognized that Rangiku was the one who had been huffing behind them.
I silently snuck up behind her.
"The youth of today, truly unbearable," I muttered, and she wholeheartedly agreed, "You can say that again!"
It took a moment before she stared at me in shock and jumped a meter away from me, drawing her sword and pointing it at me. "I've been away for a while, and my friends don't even recognize me anymore..." I mumbled, pulling the hood off my face.
Rangiku slowly sheathed her sword. "Akari." Then, she hugged me tightly.
I followed her to the Vice-Captain's chambers, and she promptly offered some food. It was only now that I realized how hungry I was. At Byakuya and Hisana's, I had only had a few cookies with tea. For the third time, I recounted my story, and Rangiku shared hers. Well, she mostly complained about everything and everyone.
"Oh, Soifon is a real killjoy. I don't know why Yoruichi was ever friends with her. As for the other new captains, I don't even need to start. A ton of work keeps piling up on me, and there's no one left to stand up for me. You know, sometimes I feel like Aizen assigns the Tenth Division stupid tasks to keep us out of the way when he's up to something..."
We sat silently for a while, staring blankly ahead, when there was a knock at the door. Even before it was open, I had hidden behind the cabinet.
"Hey, Rangi... Oh, you have a visitor?" I recognized Shin's voice and realized that two plates were still on the table. I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped out from behind the cabinet. Shin stared at me for a moment before hastily closing the door behind him and then enthusiastically hugging me.
"It's great to see you come to visit us," he noted. I had to suppress my tears of relief. Shin had never believed that I had committed any crimes.
He also offered his condolences, and for a moment, the room fell into an uncomfortable silence.
"Shin," I began, and he looked up. "I'm really sorry to ask this of you," his eyebrows formed a slightly sour expression.
"You have to apply for my old position," he stared at the ground for a while, but then shook his head, "I don't want this job. I'm sorry."
I sighed, but I couldn't force him.
We sat together for a while before I said my goodbyes. It had been a long day, and I reached the gate of Jidanbou in the light of Seireitei's lanterns. He let me out, patted my shoulder, and conveyed his condolences for my mother's passing. I thanked him and was about to pass through the gate when I read a kind of warning in Jidanbou's eyes.
I stepped out, and the gate closed behind me. After a few steps, I realized I was walking toward someone.
"I knew you'd use this gate," the white captain's haori with the emblem of the Third Division billowed in the night wind. He seemed somewhat sad but grinned.
"You didn't tell Aizen I was here."
It was a statement, not a question, but Gin nodded slowly and took a few steps towards me.
"You shouldn't come here," he sounded concerned, but I didn't care.
"Why?" I hissed at him, and he recoiled slightly, seemingly taken aback by my anger.
"These are the people I love. Why should I stay away from here? At least here, I can come..." My voice faltered at the end of the sentence, and I stared at the black armbands. Gin lowered his gaze to the ground as if ashamed.
"You are a thorn in Aizen's side, Akari."
I chuckled bitterly.
"Oh, I hadn't noticed that at all," I groaned sarcastically and felt like I sounded slightly unhinged.
"You don't understand. The only reason you're not...," he paused and looked at me in shock, as if he had just let something slip. With his words, he had just confirmed what Byakuya and I had suspected: Aizen had devised my punishment, not the Central 46.
"As if I didn't know you were behind this," I spat out, and I felt that Gin flinched when I said 'you.'
"So, what's the mysterious reason I'm not dead?" I asked petulantly, and Gin placed his hands on my shoulders. I felt his breath on my face.
"The only reason he kept you alive is that I was able to convince him that you could still be useful to us. At the moment, he still has a use for you, but as soon as he realizes that you are more of a burden than a benefit, not even my pleas will hold him back."
My anger only intensified as he brought up his old feelings for me.
"Am I supposed to be grateful now or what?" He released my shoulders, and in his eyes, I saw a hint of pain, as if my words had hurt him. After all these years, he had admitted to me that I still meant something to him, but my reaction wasn't what he had hoped for.
"If you really cared about me, Gin, you wouldn't be working for Aizen!"
With these words, I left him standing, walked away without turning back even once. I left him behind and ignored his pain, ignored the pleading in his eyes. The only thing on my mind was the thought that Aizen had some plans for me.
My conversation with Byakuya came back to me, and I glanced at my armbands.
It suddenly became clear to me.
The reason Aizen took away my ability to travel to the world of the living but didn't lock me up was so simple.
I was bait meant to lure the one Aizen was really after: Kisuke.
I clenched my fists and swore that I would never let it come to that.