♡●♡●♡
His head hurts. It feels like someone is pounding on his head with a hammer.
He sits down and with a groan he rests his head in his hands. The side of his eyes is twitching, and he lies back on his back in bed.
Today is going to be a hard day.
The light is coming through his curtains, and it is already warm. Arthur takes the blanket off him and turns to his stomach. The left side of his face hurts, so he turns his head to the right side so that his painful side does not touch the pillow.
Maybe he won't go to the race today. He doesn't want to see his brothers or mother, he doesn't want any loud noise around him because his head already hurts so much. The loud noise of the engine of an F1 car will be a lot to handle if it keeps like this.
But at the same time he needs to go, he wants to find Ollie's teammate, so he can thank him for getting Lias and Nathan away. Without them, he has no idea how he ended up then.
Plus he needs to give Dennis his hoodie back, he promised.
The door opens and Arthur looks at his mother who walks in. She doesn't say anything. She sits down on his bed and gently runs her thumb over the spot near his eye.
"Are you okay?" She asks and Arthur nods. "Yeah." He says softly and keeps looking at her.
She probably thinks he wants attention again, or show everyone how troubled he is.
"I have breakfast ready. Will you come downstairs?" She asks and Arthur frowns.
Wasn't she mad at him?
Didn't she hate him?
"Let me freshen up first." Arthur says and she nods. She runs her hand through Arthur's hair, and then she gets up and walks out of the room.
Arthur watches her go and sits up. What was that?
"Get ready, you young animal." Shouts Lorenzo, and Arthur let out a hard groan and falls back to his pillow.
Lorenzo's loud laugh echoed through the hallway.
♡●♡●♡
He got ready, wearing a new shirt with dark blue pants.
Right now he's fixing his hair. It doesn't look good. His hair doesn't do what he wants, not that he puts much attention to it because his eyes are focused on the wound on his head. There is a small cut on his eyebrow, dried blood around it. His skin is blue, red and thick
If he didn't look ridiculous before, he does now.
He carefully dabs away the blood with a washcloth. It hurts so much that he bites his lip to persevere.
How is he going to explain this? They are going to ask.
Drunk person? No, they probably think it's his fault.
With friends? Maybe.
He hears the door open and close downstairs and then Charles his voice greeting his mother and Lorenzo.
With one last look in the mirror, he walks back to his room, takes a hoodie from the closet, to follow Dennis' advice, and then goes downstairs.
When he comes downstairs, he quickly sees how they are all sitting at the table with fresh sandwiches and toppings on the table.
"Take a seat." Says Maman, and Arthur sits down next to Charles.
"How are you feeling?" Asks Charles and Arthur shrugs.
"Okay, I think." He says and grabs a sandwich.
He already has to throw up the idea of eating, but he knows he has to eat something.
"What happened to you last night?" Asks Lorenzo.
"Went out with friends." Says Arthur, and see how his older brother roll his eyes.
"Your eyes."
Shit, think.
Arthur looks at Lorenzo and then Charles and Maman. Three pairs of eyes on him and Arthur wants nothing more than to fall through the ground.
"Arthur?" Says Maman and he looks at her.
"My friends were messing around together, they were pushing each other while we were cycling. My friend pushed him too hard, and he fell, I was next to him, so he fell against me and I landed on the floor, with a stone next to me where I landed against with my head." Lies Arthur
"Really?" Asks Maman and Arthur nods.
"They were really drunk, I had been drinking too, but nothing happened, we had a fun night, nothing more. It was an accident. I had a terrible headache straight away, and they took me home."
"How's your headache now?" Asks Charles.
"Terrible." Says Arthur, and takes a bite from his breakfast.
"So you didn't fight?" Asks Maman and Arthur looks at her.
"No, I didn't. I never get into a fight. I had a fun night out with friends, nothing more. Why do you immediately think bad of me?" Says Arthur
"I'm not, I just wanted to know."
"I don't fight with people. I have never done it. I don't get aggressive when I have alcohol. Plus I don't drink that much." Says Arthur and puts his sandwich back on the plate.
"I'll take the hoodie back to Dennis, and then I'll go home." Says Arthur to Charles and then stands up and leaves the room again.
How can you be done with a day that has just begun so quickly?
♡●♡●♡
"Do we believe him?" Asks Maman and Charles nods.
“I do.” He says and looks at the stairs where Arthur has just stormed up.
"We shouldn't always think bad of him. We also go out with friends and he's legal to do so. They had fun, Arthur fell and hit his head. Done." Says Charles and he starts to get annoyed.
"I'll take him back home once he gives the hoodie back. At least then we know he's home safe." Says Lorenzo.
"I will talk to him. Maybe he said it because he was annoyed."
"And hungover." Says Maman.
"I think his headache is from the fall, like he said, he's didn't drink much." Says Charles.
"Maybe let him for a few minutes." Says Lorenzo and Charles sits down.
"I will talk with him. I need to talk with Arthur alone so I better do it now." Says Maman, ignoring what Lorenzo just said and she walked upstairs.
She knocks on his door and then she opens the door.
"Can we talk?" She walks inside Arthur's room, who is laying down in his bed.
"Are you okay?" She sits down and Arthur sits up. He has a pillow in his arms and he presses him close to him.
"I think so." Says Arthur.
"Your head?"
And my stomach and my ribs took another hit from the knee in his stomach. He has a large bruise on the right side of his ribs.
Arthur nods and then the silence fell. He feels so awkward and doesn't know what his mother wants.
Arthur feels her looking at him but he can't look back. He looks at the pillow on his lap.
"Are they ready? We can go, no?" Asks Arthur, and he wants to stand up to leave. His mother grabs his wrist and lets Arthur sit back down.
"I've been unfair to you, I said nasty things to you and I didn't want to listen to you."
"You have hurt me a lot." Says Arthur honestly, and then he moves further back. He cannot handle his mother's hand on his leg.
"I know, and I'm really sorry. Arthur, I didn't give you the chance and when you started to grow up, having difficulty with school, it got too much for me, and then you started to look a lot like your dad and I couldn't look at you without seeing him in your face."
Arthur's mouth fell open.
"That's really been a reason you went away a lot?'' Asks Arthur and she nods.
"What?'' Says Arthur silently, and he saw the tears in her eyes.
"It was a lot, losing dad, seeing Charles and Lorenzo go. I went back to school, and suddenly I lost my friends, and I was the child without a father. And I had you, and slowly I lost you too. You were there, but also not." Says Arthur
"I started to get angry, at everyone, at why this had happened to Hervé. I felt like I needed him and he was ripped away from me."
“And you took it out on me?” Asks Arthur, and she looks at him with regret in her eyes.
"I was angry at the world, at faith." She whispers
"And I was there." Says Arthur, and she nods.
"Did you ever notice I was quiet? That every moment you started to yell at me, I would stay silent. I was taught that speaking up was talking back. But at some point, I didn't care anymore Maman. I can't do anything right in your eyes." Says Arthur.
"You have a big mouth and you know that." She says.
"Yes, because I was done with the yelling, Maman. I always said sorry first cause I wanted you to like me. I'm your son but it didn't feel like that any more through the years. You felt so far away from me and I thought that's what it took to make it last, that you will forgive me and stay with me while I didn't even know what I was sorry for. I didn't want you to leave me too, Maman. I was so scared, and you didn't care, nobody did. You ignored my texts, my calls or when you came home we always had a fight. I hate it, I miss you, I miss us. It was you and me, we had each other and then you left too. It hurt me." A tear leaves Arthur's eye, but he wipes it away.
"We are standing far from each other. I'm so sorry I let that happen. You got to much for me to handle." She says
"With what? School? Yes I was struggling but I was trying." Says Arthur.
"I tried to help you." She says and Arthur looks at her surprised.
"When? You have been away since I was 17 to 18. When I got 18, that's when you really left the house all the time. Not that I saw you much before that but since last year you are away so much more. I tried to contact you, I tried to repair our bond but you didn't care." Says"That's not true." She says
"When was the last time we really did something together? Or when we had dinner together without a fight and we could talk? Maman, I shouldn't be the person to fix us, you're my mother, and you didn't even care.” Says Arthur, and he couldn't stop the tears.
"I shouldn't have to be the bigger person to fix this. You're the adult but the only thing you did was make me feel worse until I didn't even care anymore. Why did I have to break to keep us working? Why did I need to put so much energy to just talk with you. It's always up to me to fix things between us, or talk with you and say I'm sorry while I didn't know why. It shouldn't be up to me to fix us, we had to do that together. I took every blame the way you want me to because I thought it could fix us. I missed you, and it didn't feel like you did miss me." An ugly sob leaves his body.
His head starts to hurt even more now he's crying, but he can't help himself. She has to know how much she hurt him.
"I needed you in my life, I didn't want to lose you like I lost my dad or brothers. Mama, I love you and the way you hurt me in the last few years have made me hate myself so much. I don't know what I did wrong. Why don't you love me like you love Charles and Lorenzo. Why do you not love me?" His hands are starting to shake and when his mother grabs his hand, he backs out and stands up to walk off the bed.
"All I wanted was to be loved too. I was a child! I know you don't always choose the ones you love, but how did we break apart that you didn't love me anymore? I'm your son." Whispers Arthur while he has his hands in his hair, and he's pulling on it.
His head needs to stop hurting!
"Arthur, breathe." Says his mother and she grabs his arms.
"What am I doing wrong." Whispers Arthur while looking her right in her eyes.
"Why can't you love me like you love them?"
♡●♡●♡
"I'm behind you." Dennis is startled by Ollie's voice and lets out a laugh when he sees the younger boy behind him.
"Let's hope for a good race, no?" Says Dennis and Ollie puts an arm around his shoulder.
"Of course, as long as we don't touch first corner."
"Then I think you need to stay behind me." Says Dennis and Ollie laughs.
"I will grab some breakfast? You want to join me?" Asks Ollie and Dennis nods.
"Sure why not." Dennis says and they walk to the cafeteria.
"Jak will join us too."
"Of course he is." Says Dennis and Ollie slaps his arm.
"We are good friends, I never found such a good friend with racing like Jak." Says Ollie.
"That's good, having friends on the grid is good." Says Dennis.
"And you have us." Says Ollie.
“Sadly.” Says Dennis and then laughs at Ollie's offended face.
"I'm joking. I love having you as friends." Says Dennis and Ollie smiles.
"Prema was fun times last year." Says Ollie and Dennis nods.
Jak approaches when they sit down at a table.
"Hello." Says the American and sits down as well.
"Ready to race again?" Asks Jak and Dennis nods.
"I had a good day yesterday, so yes." Says Dennis and Jak nods.
"Did you hear anything from that boy?" Asks Jak to Ollie who shook his head.
"No, I didn't see him at Ferrari either." Says Ollie.
"Is this about Arthur?" Asks Dennis and Ollie nods.
"I know he won't really come to races after this, but when I showed him around I saw how much he enjoyed everything. I want to stay in touch with him so that when he finishes his studies, maybe he can get a chance at Prema."
“As driver?'' Asks Jak and Ollie rolls his eyes.
"No, you stupid, I don't know what he wants but maybe he can get a chance. Rene would help the little brother of Charles. He still loves Charles so much." Says Ollie.
"Can he do a lot with his studies?" Asks Jak and Ollie shrugs.
"He did talk about everything like he knew what we were talking about. He is very technical." Says Ollie.
"You don't know him." Says Jak.
"He was with me yesterday." Dennis throws into the group and Ollie's open mouth closes again when he stops talking.
“He was?” Asks Ollie and Dennis nods.
"I had a debrief and he was in our motorhome." Says Dennis.
"Okay, why?" Asks Jak.
"He found me after the sprint, and we were talking. It started to rain, and I took him with me to MP, so we could talk a bit more. He left when the debrief was going to take longer. If all goes well, I'll see him today because he has my hoodie. It was still raining, and he only had a shirt on." Says Dennis.
"So you just give your hoodie." Says Ollie.
"Think about how cold he was going to get when he gets soaking wet from the rain." Says Dennis.
"But will you see him again today?"
"I hope so." Says Dennis.
"Can you ask him his number?" Asks Ollie.
"Isn't it a bit weird to ask for a number when you're probably never going to see him again?" Says Dennis.
"But I need it."
"Then find him yourself, Ollie." Says Dennis and the younger boy sighs.
"You like him too." Says Ollie
"He's nice, yes, but I don't even live in Monaco so it would be a friendship of nothing. Why would I try?'' Asks Dennis.
"Because he's hot." Imitates Ollie Dennis.
"I said he had the Leclerc's genes nothing more." Says Dennis.
"No, you think he's hot."
"And something that wouldn't work. I don't even like him or feel attracted to him." Says Dennis
“Sure.”
"Just shut up." Says Dennis and Ollie laughs.
"Oliver!" They turn around when Fred walks in.
"Hey man." Says Ollie and Fred gives everyone a handshake.
"How's your friend doing?" Asks Fred and sits down.
"Who?" Asks Ollie.
"The Monégasque you brought into our motorhome." Says Fred.
"Arthur?'' Asks Ollie and Fred nods.
"Why? You thought he was weird and unreliable."
"Yeah, well it's still weird. But no, I brought him home last night after two guys beat him up." Says Fred and Ollie's and Dennis widen their eyes.
"What, is he okay?" Asks Dennis and Fred looks at him.
"No way." He hears Ollie softly saying.
"He wasn't okay last night. Victor and I pushed them away, and he fell down on the ground after his head hit the wall. He didn't respond for a while, but he was awake. He wanted to go to his house quickly afterward, but he was dizzy. After almost begging him, I managed to get us to walk home with him." Explains Fred.
"Was he hurt badly?" Asks Jak.
"No idea how long they were attacking him already before we arrived. All we saw was a wound near his eye." Says Fred.
"And you didn't bring him to the hospital?'' Asks Dennis.
"He wanted to go home, and he could walk and all that, so it was okay."
"You said he hit his head?'' Asks Ollie and Fred nods.
"Against a wall? You should have called the hospital, mate." Says Jak.
"Maybe I should have called, shit." Says Fred.
"But he did walk?" Asks Ollie and Fred nods.
"Yeah, I was holding him and on the other side he had his bike." Says Fred.
"I will go to Ferrari." Says Ollie.
"You have a race soon, you can't leave now." Says Fred and Ollie sighs.
"He's probably fine." Says Fred and Dennis looks at Jak who's on his phone typing away.
"I think I found his Instagram." Says Jak and Ollie turns around.
"This is Arthur." Says Ollie and Jak shows the phone to Dennis who nods.
“That's him.”
~~~~
This whole story ready is writen while listening to Lauren Spencer Smith, girl she has my heart with her music.