The guy nodded to a door, and I looked to my wife immediately. That room was not a room that his girlfriend should be in. No one should be in that room. That room shouldn't even exist. But it does. It's needed.
Especially living in a big city. And I hate it, it's devastating
"I'm so sorry. Is she alright? How old is she?" I asked, concerned for the stranger.
"She's getting there, she hasn't told us much, but it finally clicked today that she needed to get checked out." He said sadly, before we sat in silence for a bit. We started to discuss other things - exchanging photos of our pets after Eleni had to leave to go and relieve the Babysitter of duty and feed Luna, who was at home with the other kids and the newborn-specialised sitter that Eleni knew from a friend of a friend's wife. And when we mentioned the kids, Milo asked all about them, it sounded like he was really family-oriented which was sweet.
After Eleni left, Me and Milo were chatting and that was fine for about an hour or two, Before Milo became restless
"She's only twenty three for fucks sake." He loudly stated as he was pacing, evidently frustrated at the situation. And my face dropped as I looked to him.
Twenty three years-
"You might be here for a while longer. I can keep you company if you want." I offered and he looked at me as if I'd grown two new heads.
he was about to answer as the nurse came out and handed me everything I needed before telling me I was almost fine, just needed to stress less, and could go home, so I texted Eleni who said she was on her way back now and leaving the kids with my mamma. My parents insisted on staying over every time we had a new addition.
"See, I'm free now" I shrugged as I crossed my legs. I may be forty, but I can still fidget around.
"I don't want to put you out..." He mumbled and I sighed
"You're fine. Trust me. I would love the adult companionship for once whilst you wait for your girlfriend..." I smiled before realising he'd introduced himself but not his girlfriend
"My girl's name is Trinette" he smiled and my mind twinged and the beginnings of nausea kicked in. I know that name. And the highly unpleasant memories that go along with it. I took a deep breath in and then out.
"Did you say Trinette? Did she know someone called William? You have to tell me, please!" I practically begged. I could only hope and pray that it wasn't her.
"Uhh, yea. Yes, her fathers name was William - did you know him?" He asked cautiously and I shook my head and faced the ground. My mind raced as he answered my question.
He didn't...please tell me he didn't.
"Her birthday? When was she born?" I asked softly and he shook his head
"I can't tel-"
"Is it the twenty first of march, the year two-thousand?" I asked. Praying to god it was all a coincidence. That Milo's Girlfriend was just a strange coincidence. That William didn't do what I think he did.
"How did you know?" Milo's drawer dropped open at my answer and I shook my head in defiance as I bit my lip.
"Her name isn't Trinette" I told myself, needing to breathe properly but my lungs didn't seem to want to.
"What do you mean" Milo demanded to know and I just shook my head
"That's not the name I gave her. Not the name I wanted her to have. That's not her name. He changed it" I wanted to cry as waves of helplessness ran through me. He didn't let her keep a single part of anything I gave or left her. He named her the female version of his best friend's name, He took the only lasting kindness I could've done for her and ripped it to shreds. He told her he was her dad. My heart felt like it was shutting off and my lungs like they were being crumpled
My poor girl.
She probably thought I'd abandoned her, probably thought i wasn't interested in her, that I didn't care. And fuck, I can't even say that I didn't leave her. Eleni was soon coming back through the doors, and instantly noticed my distressed state
Milo was about to question me as the door opened. And I knew for definite that I had found her. no doubt about it.
My daughter.
A flood of emotions ran through me at the sight of the girl. It was like looking directly into a mirror - only if I'd shaved my hair off, which I wouldn't. I love it too much.
She looked so unwell and unhealthy, and a somber look Splattered on her face as she looked for the guy - Milo - and smiled sadly when she saw him. my chest constricted with guilt.
Seeing her, and confirming that she was definitely my daughter made emotions explode. I felt sick.
A sickening mix of Excitement, Hurt, Anxiety, Joy, Devastation, Nausea and many more emotions swirled inside me, making my stomach churn.
"Ginevra?" Milo asked as he put his hand on my shoulder, snapping me out of my staring episode as Eleni had her arms around me trying to steady my breathing, it didn't feel real.
I closed my eyes tightly for a few seconds before opening them again, hoping I was imagining things. Most people would be overjoyed to see their daughter again - I feel nothing but self-loathing and self-hatred as I look at the woman in front of me.
I missed so, so much of her life, I wasn't there for her. I missed every milestone a mother should be present for, and I hate myself for that. I realised I hadn't looked away from her, but she had moved closer to me.
"Artemis" I breathed out subconsciously as I looked at her. She reminded me of me, and not in a good way.
"I-" her words got blocked in her throat as she went to speak. She stared at me as I stared back.
"You-" she tried to speak again, and Milo handed her a water bottle for her to drink and brought her attention to him as Eleni did the same with me
"You're okay, Ginny, you're okay" she whispered as she rubbed my back gently as she sat down with me on the seats. I'd thought about meeting my daughter again for years, until I slowly stopped thinking about meeting her, it was something I'd never be able to achieve. I had my kids to take care of, I was too busy to dream during the day, too exhausted at night to do anything but sleep.
The only time I got to speak about Artemis was in my weekly therapy sessions.
I've been seeing the same lady for years, she'd been informed all about my case. She helps me navigate, work through, and make sense of more than a decades worth of trauma in addition to navigating daily life. When I first mentioned my kids, she was intrigued - especially given my past with Artemis, we worked through it and she helped me understand why I was okay with having my kids, and why being okay with it was okay too.
"Fuck, You're shaking Αγάπη μου, deep breaths" Eleni held my hands in hers and tried to calm me but the emotions crashing over me were too much. I wanted to stay with Arte, never let her out of my sight.
(My Love)
It wasn't long before I couldn't bear the weight of the crushing guilt anymore and stood up slowly
"I'll be in the car" I muttered before making my way out the doors and to the car park so I could sit in the car. I turned the radio on, and thanked my gorgeous, gorgeous wife for getting a car with comfortable seats.
Music filled my ears, allowing me to declutter my mind. I don't know how long I was calming down for, but I know I was spooked by the knock on the car window.
Turning the music off, I kept my eyes closed, keeping control of my breathing so it wouldn't cause a panic attack.
Opening my eyes I wound down the window and looked.
"Hi...uhm...Milo told me that you were out here. And Eleni told me the Numberplate and car colour to look for. Are you okay?" She asked me and I sighed
"Mhm, I'm sorry Art, I just-" i started to explain myself
"Who? Who is Art? Who is Artemis?" She asked and my head thrummed with my pulse "I recognise the name....when you say it, I feel like I recognise it. But I can't place it." She continued and I sighed out of relief.
"I don't expect you to know or remember me, William probably left my name out of his dirty mouth when he was undoubtedly spewing complete and utter shit about me" I grumbled bitterly and she looked to me
"How do you know my fath-" she started, cutting the last word off as if she'd eaten some nail polish remover and a wave of anger flew over me
"He's not your father." I blurted before I could stop myself and she looked at me curiously. It took a few minutes before a few small tears ran down her face, and I just wanted to wipe them away.
"Mum?"
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Posted 29.01.24
(Double Update)