Foster had been to the matchmakers.
Before Keefe could even process that--or begin to grieve over it--she continued.
And told them she was unmatchable.
Keefe was thankful, again, that she wasn't an Empath.
And also thankful that she'd felt the need to close her eyes to share this information, because he wasn't confident that his pain wasn't evident on his face.
She'd been on the fence about registering for the match, because she believed the system to be messed up. And she wasn't wrong.
But she'd registered.
She'd registered.
After her big confession with Fitz.
Pain.
Registering for the match meant wanting to know who you were approved...to marry.
Keefe knew it didn't seal anything, and that it really made sense to go ahead and find out who was on your list so you wouldn't get too attached to someone who turned out not to be on it.
If you plan to register.
And clearly, she was serious enough about Fitz to get over her qualms about the system and go register.
For Fitz.
Keefe heard Ro say something about how that should 'do the trick', but it didn't feel like that to Keefe.
It felt like all the air had gone out of the room.
Even when Ro prompted him, Keefe had a hard time finding his voice. Finally, he managed to clear his throat and say, "So...you decided to register?"
"Really?" Ro asked, looking ready to throttle him. "That's what you're going with? Of all the wasted opportunities!"
"What?" Keefe snapped back. "I just thought she still had mixed feelings about it!"
"I did," Foster agreed. "But..."
"Yeah..." Keefe mumbled.
But then he felt something that distracted him from his grief.
Hers.
It was sudden and fierce.
Almost--but not quite--as fierce as his own.
"Whoa," he said in a pained voice, clutching his chest as he felt the combined fury of their pain--his and hers. Foster opened her eyes and looked at him. "Um, what's with all the heartache, Foster?"
She crossed her arms, like she was trying to make herself smaller. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, it feels like you think..." he peered at her. "You think Fitz is going to care about this?"
Evidently she did.
And she had been completely blindsided by being unmatchable.
Keefe had figured if she decided to register, she'd have gone to the Black Swan first so she could get the names of her biological parents. Because obviously, the matchmakers couldn't even start compiling her lists without that information.
But then she admitted she'd gone to Mr. Forkle to get the information before coming to the Shores of Solace, and he had refused to tell her.
He heard Foster saying it, but his mind was already spiraling as realization caught up to him.
She was sitting here, in his room, in agony over this new development.
Over something potentially getting in the way of her relationship with Fitz.
She had shared this information--under coercion--and now she was sitting here worried and hurting and...
And it was up to Keefe to make her feel better.
Not this, he silently begged as he kicked the floor over and over again. I can't. I can't help her, not with this.
It isn't fair.
Surely...surely this didn't have to fall to him.
Surely Keefe of all people didn't have to be responsible for helping Foster in her relationship with Fitz.
Life was officially asking too much.
I can't do this.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
But he knew...he had to. He had to comfort her. The truth would eventually come out and Fitz would be supportive and help her figure out how to get the information she needed, and they would be right back on track.
And Keefe would know he'd allowed her unnecessary anguish to be prolonged by not helping her now.
He could help her with this. Comfort her. Assure her that Fitz would be understanding and patient and kind. Convince her to tell Fitz and stop shutting him out.
No matter what it did to Keefe.
She was on the verge of tears, so he forced himself to get it together.
He let out a sigh, trying to imagine his own pain escaping with the breath as he leaned in closer to her. "This isn't going to change anything."
She looked away, blinking hard, trying not to cry in front of him.
She didn't believe him--not yet. So he told her that she could find out who her biological parents were with or without Forkle's help. Without would take longer, but it was still doable.
And Ro, surprisingly, told her Keefe was the perfect person to help.
Oh, please, no.
But he'd already been through this with himself. Just a few moments ago.
He would do whatever it took to get her heartache to go away.
If that was the best he could give her...at least for now...then he would do it.
"It's okay," he heard her saying, feeling awkward. He hadn't spoken up quickly enough. "You should be focusing on your memories."
"I should," he agreed. "But...thanks to my lovely bodyguard here, it looks like I'll be sitting out on all the scheming you'll be doing about the dwarves and Tammy Boy. So I'll have some extra time to kill--and you know I'd never pass up a chance to get one up on the Forklenator."
Good. That sounded normal.
Not at all like he was dying inside.
But she was looking at him like she could see straight through him and the smirk he had plastered on his face. "You don't have to."
"I want to. Seriously." He stared at her, his gaze steadfast. He did want to help her. He'd already promised her and himself that he'd always be there for her. He noticed a slight change in her mood as he continued. "I'm always here for whatever you need, Sophie. And I gotta say, Team Foster-Keefe is going to crush this. But...I need you to promise me one thing, okay?"
She nodded.
He looked away, kicking the ground again.
This sucked.
But I have to be a good friend...to both of them.
"You have to tell Fitz what we're doing--and why. Just to make sure there're no misunderstandings, you know?"
She agreed, sending more guilt his way.
He hated that she'd hesitated to tell Fitz. And hated that she was worried about Fitz freaking out.
Fitz was his best friend and one of the very best people Keefe knew—despite Ro's opinion. One of his very favorite people in the world.
Which meant that Keefe knew Fitz really, really well.
So he knew Fitz would struggle with this.
But also knew that Fitz would eventually come around to it if Foster really meant enough to him.
So he was mostly being truthful when he told her, "he won't freak out."
"Uh, this is Fitz," she reminded him. "Reacting to bad news isn't exactly his strong suit."
Okay, so Foster also knew Fitz really well.
"Yeah, I guess that's true." Keefe stood up, trying to pretend that his determination was drowning out his emotional turmoil, and grabbed a blank notebook. "Okay then, Miss F. Let's figure out how to solve the ultimate Foster Mystery!"