I step out the shower and dry myself with a towel. I put on my grey trackies and a white singlet.
I hear Nellie and Chelsea all talking to my mum.
Nellie wanted to come over. I thought it would be okay.
I had a lot of fun with her earlier. We had so much fun. But i can't get over the humiliation of her there for my panic attack. And she had to calm me down.
I go downstairs as Nellie is wearing my hoodie from after her shower to keep her warm. Her and Chelsea are watching Ballerina as my mum is cooking.
Nellie looks at me as i walk over and she shuffles over making room for me.
I sit down and she comes back over, our shoulders brushing.
I relax into the chair exhausted from today. I rest my head on the back of the sofa, closing my eyes.
"You okay?" Nellie says softly.
"Mhmmm."
"Your hair is so curly." She whispers and runs a hand through my wet hair.
I open my eyes and look at her as she's resting beside me too. She's beautiful.
I close my eyes and let her touch my hair.
I'm so stupid to let her be this close. I'm so stupid to let her touch me. I'm so stupid.
But i can't push her away. She's too good for that. I can't hurt her that way.
But i'm so scared for her to hurt me.
"Henry?" My mum says, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine."
It's silent and i know both of them are looking at eachother. I know they are judging me. I know they hate me.
"If you're tired go to bed," My mum says, "Nellie do you want to stay over?"
I sit up and look at my mum.
Has she gone crazy?
What if Nellie tries to hurt me? What if she tries to come onto me? What if it happens again?
"No, no, it's okay." Nellie responds.
I look at her. I don't want her to leave.
This is so confusing. This is too much.
"What's wrong?" Nellie brushes my cheek.
"Nothing."
"Okay."
"I'm gonna go to bed." I whisper.
She smiles softly and nods, "I'll see you at school tomorrow."
I nod.
She grabs the note pad on the coffee table and she writes her phone number.
"Call me when you need about anything, alright?"
"Thank you."
"Goodnight." She kisses my cheek and says goodbye to my mum.
My face ignites into redness and i waste no time rushing upstairs.
I don't feel weird about the kiss. It felt nice.
I get into bed with a smile and fall asleep till darkness comes over me.
~~
"Mary, i can't, please." I sob.
"You want me that bad hm?" She laughs kissing my neck.
I turn numb, i don't want to do this.
Mary begins to unbutton my pants and she slides down my boxers.
There's nothing i can do to stop this. It's going to happen and i can't fix it.
Why am i so stupid?
Mary runs her hand up and down me as she raises her skirt and slips her underwear to the side.
This is all my fault.
~~
I gasp awake as my body shakes and shrivels into a ball.
I begin to sob again. I'm so fucking stupid.
Why am i even fucking here? I don't want to live with his memory anymore. It's too hard.
I grab my phone and my headphones putting them on.
I open my phone to put music on and i see a notification from Nellie.
Nellie added Henry to the group chat.
I open the group and see it's got everyone in there.
Arlo: HENRYYYYY
Eva: Hi Henry
Arlo: HENRY'S IN THE GROUP CHAT
Cora: Really? I had no idea.
Arlo: LOOK SEE
Cora: You don't understand sarcasm
Oakley: Ha no, he doesn't, and hi Henry.
Hayden: Stop flirting with my sister
Oakley: WHAT?
Arlo: HENRY WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE SONG??!!????!!!!?????!!!!?????
Lilly: Hi Henry
Coen: My phone committed suicide from all of these notifications
Arlo: I WANT A PICKLE SANDWICH
Eva: Gross
I wipe my tears and play my music letting myself calm down as i read the messages and reply.
Me: Hi everyone
Arlo: HENRYYYYYY!!!!!!!! WHATS YOUE FAVOURITE SONG!!?????!!????!??!??!??!
Me: Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls
Nellie: I love that song
Arlo: THATS SUCH A GOOD SONG WHDIDJSKKCKSKANDKCBSISJXISNDIFJD
Hayden: W music taste
Arlo: IFIDHSJWOWLFNCHSJQKWORJFNCBSAOLFCNJSIAKFJJSIAOPDOFUEHWBXJICISJSJDIFJSJSUIFJDJSJSIDJDJSUIDDJJSJDNJDJSKAODICJSKDODJJSOS
Eva: You good there, baby?
Arlo: Yes mama
Coen: Get a room
Nellie: They never get a room, have you seen them?
Coen: For real
Arlo: How can i not touch her 🫵
Hayden: Have you ever tried not touching her?
Arlo: I don't think so
Me: You're funny
Arlo: YOU THINK IM FUNNY?!!???!!!!?!!??
Lilly: He did just say that
Arlo: Shhhhhh
Everyone begins to say goodnight to one another. I look at the clock and see it's midnight.
I've still got to sleep.
I clock out of the group chat and see a private message from Nellie.
Nellie: Remember you can talk to me about anything at any time
Me: Thank you, and thank you for today
Nellie: I had so much fun
Me: So did i
unpopular opinions but nerdy boys with glasses that look like they've never talked to a girl>>>>>>