"Hey Stacy I'm at the airport now."
"Finally, I thought you would never come home."
"I thought so too for a moment."
"Excited to come back or..."
"Of course I am."
"No girl, I can hear it in your voice something isn't right. You got down with him didn't you?"
"W -What?"
"OMG my girl is finally taken by Mr. Super Sexy!"
"Stacy, you better be by yourself saying all of this", I whispered.
"How was it, was it amazing? Romantic? In the backseat of a car?"
"Oh my gosh. No comment."
"Oh come on, please tell me."
"Fine but do go blabbing."
"I promise."
"It was very romantic, Like from a movie but better. He's super sweet and gentle and I kind of told him I love him--"
"WHAT?!"
"But since we had a weird vacation-only relationship going on, I figured if things were to have turned out differently, I would have fallen in love with him. That's why I gave myself to him because at this point, I'm not going to find "the one", especially if it's not him. I know it's stupid but--"
"That's like the most romantic one-night stand ever! You have to write a story about this!"
I laughed.
"Fine but you'll have to be my publisher and promote it like crazy."
"Deal!"
I continued on chatting with Stacy. As I was doing so I was looking through my back for a last-minute check to make sure I had everything. Isamu did an awesome job packing everything.
"Flight 1073 to California will be boarding in ten minutes."
I stumbled across something that caught my attention. Two matching bracelets for each one of us to have that I bought when we were at the festival. I didn't have the courage to give him one because I was scared he would think it was childish.
"I have to give it to him", I said to myself.
I just feel like I can still be connected to him this way even if we never speak again.
I jumped to my feet and looked at the time. I won't make it back for my flight.
"Jackie, hey, Jackie? Give him what?"
"I forgot to give him something important Stacy. Sorry, I won't make it back on time as planned. I'll book a flight for later."
"You go get your man girl. Let me know if you need extra money. For the ticket and a place to stay if you have to wait for a while."
"No need. I have my emergency credit card. I'll talk to you soon okay?"
"Okay. See you later."
I speed-walked through the airport towards the exit and quickly flagged down a taxi. I explained where I needed to go the best I could. The taxi driver finally knew where to go when I mentioned Isamu. Of course, he would since that's all over the news now.
It took a while to get there but I didn't care. I just need him to have this. Also, I need to see him one more time.
Before I left to go inside the airport, he said something to me in Japanese but I couldn't understand. It was unlike him to speak to me in Japanese.
"Duh, I can look it up."
I took out my phone. I thought back for a moment about what he said.
"Ai...shi...te...ru..yo...", I said as I typed it in on my translation app.
"What..."
I was speechless when I saw what it said.
~
"We are here miss."
The driver broke me out from my shock.
"Oh, thank you", I said and then handed him the money.
It was dark out now and starting to rain. That didn't stop me. I'm a woman on a mission.
I quickly located him.
"Isamu? Isamu, sorry to barge in but I forgot to give you something. I know I'll miss my flight but hey, it's one more night with you."
It was quiet.
"Isamu?"
I checked his bed, it was just a bunch of blankets. It's unlike him to leave his bed on the floor if he's not going to sleep in it.
I turned on the lights to see.
He wasn't here. I looked around until I spotted a paper that was folded in half. It was a letter written in Japanese. I can't read it at all. I was about to take out my phone to take a picture to translate but at the very bottom, I saw a part that was written in English. None of the villagers speak English let alone read it. It felt like he wrote it for me.
I'm sorry Jakie for lying to you. You're the last person I would ever want to hurt. You made the past few weeks the best time of my life. I'll never forget you. I wish things had turned out differently for us, for me. I wish my family could understand me, could love me, could understand the pain I've been in for all my life. In the end, that was impossible for them. You are the only person in my life to accept me, all of me. I'm just so broken right now, so worn out to the point that I can't do this anymore. I prayed at the temple for there to be a second life so that I'll see you again and for God to forgive me. Somehow if you get this message again I'm sorry. Everything I have will be yours, I had it all set up while you were here. Please come back to visit the villagers when you can.
Love you, Jackie.
Tears were streaming down my face.
"No...Isamu..."
I had no idea. How could I have missed what he was truly feeling? He was hiding this from me all this time but why? Why wasn't I enough for him? He could have flown back with me if things were this bad.
"He's...gone? No...he can't be."
I just read his letter. His last letter. His suicide letter.
I need to call the police or something but I'm refusing to let this be real. I'm in denial.
I got to my feet with the letter in hand and ran outside in the now pouring rain. I looked all around for him.
"Isamu? ISAMU?!"
I ran around looking for him when suddenly a memory came to mind.
"You know, this place is a good spot to chill. I love eating potatoes but I never thought I would nap amongst them", I said.
"You're weird", Isamu said.
"Am not. I'm sure you took a nap here before too at least once."
"Five times."
"See!"
He let out a light chuckle.
I ran over to that very spot. If he's lying there, I want to get to him first. I want to hold him before he's taken away for good.
"Isamu..."
There he was, lying in the mud, not moving.
He really is gone.
I started sobbing. I was scared to approach him because I didn't want this to be real.
Suddenly I saw movement. Maybe my eyes were playing with me.
"J-Jakie?"
My ears are definitely not playing with me though.
"Isamu?"
My legs moved my body towards him. I was confused.
He slowly sat up.
"Isamu!"
I ran to him and fell to my knees in the mud as I hugged him tightly.
"What are you doing here", he asked, surprised to really see me here.
"I...I don't know. What are you doing here and what's with this..."
I took out the letter and angrily shoved it onto his chest.
It looked like he didn't want me to see it.
"Why didn't you tell me? Am I not enough?!"
"You are enough...I just...I'm sorry...I didn't want to worry about me because no one has before."
"I'm not like other people!"
I was feeling a mix of emotions but right now I was angry. Yes, we haven't known each other for long but I at least thought I was easy to talk to and that he could be open with me about everything.
I got up to storm away. The mud made it a bit difficult as I was slipping and sliding. I could hear him following me.
"Jackie."
"Go away! Just leave, if I'm not good enough to talk to then I'm not good enough in general."
"Jackie stop."
"No."
He grabbed my arm.
"Let go!"
I tried sliding his hand off of me but his grip was firm.
"I almost made the biggest mistake of my life. I can see that now. I felt hesitation the entire time, even while writing that letter. I was feeling so much regret even before going through with it. I understand your anger towards me. I can understand that you don't want to see my face ever again but can I just say this? Can you turn around and look at me?"
I let my hand fall to my side. I gave up fighting him. I didn't want to fight, I wanted to hold him.
Love him.
"I thought it was impossible to feel the feelings I have been feeling for the past few weeks but I can see nothing is impossible. It's not impossible to fall for someone you just laid eyes on. It's not impossible to think someone so crazy and silly could be the one for you when you're the complete opposite. It's not impossible to constantly daydream about what life would be like to wake up next to someone who makes every day an adventure."
His grip loosened up from my arm and caught my hand.
"Most importantly, it's not impossible to fall so madly in love with someone that the thought of living without them would be hell."
I can't stay mad at him any longer. My arms came up around his neck. His arms held me tight.
"I'm sorry Jackie, I'm so sorry. I'll do anything and everything to get help. I promise I won't hurt you again. I swear."
~
My face felt warm. It was nice, the sun's rays were a welcome feeling from the ice-cold rain. I was lying down on something soft.
His bed.
"Isamu?!"
"I'm here. I just didn't want to wake up", he quickly said.
I held my head in my hand.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just got a sudden headache. It's not that bad."
"Lay back down and rest. I'll make you some tea."
I nodded and then rested my head on the pillow.
Last night felt like a nightmare but it was real. I wish I could forget it but I won't, I can't.
"Here's some tea. I cooled it down a bit with some ice."
"Okay, thank you", I said as I sat up.
"Do you need anything else?"
"No...just you."
"Okay."
He moved under the covers to join me.
"You should make some tea for yourself too."
"I'm okay. I was just worried about you."
"Thank you."
I took a sip.
"Well...I have to rebook my flight. I might get a crapy one since it will be last minute. Cross my fingers I don't get stuck next to a screaming toddler and a nervous sweaty flyer."
He chuckled.
"You don't have to worry about that."
"Why, got a private plane", I joked.
"I was just going to say I'm going to fly with you but I can make arrangements for a private flight."
"What?!"
"Hey, watch it!"
I looked down to see I spilled my tea but I didn't care. I dropped my cup and flew my arms around him once again.
"Are you for real?"
"Yes. Like I said, I can't stay away from you so you're stuck with me."
"But wait...how can you stay forever? You have to get a visa and paperwork, or we can do the fiance thing..."
"I have dual citizenship."
"Really? Why didn't you tell me?"
"You never asked."
I hit him playfully.
"Isamu...you..."
"The only thing I want to hear from you is..."
"Is what?"
"Is that you love me."
"How does it go again in Japanese", I asked.
"Aishiteruyo", he said.
"Aishiteruyo, Isamu."
I leaned in, kissing him passionately, happy this was just the beginning of many.