Song - Sign of the Times (Harry Styles)
Fuck.
I stormed into the Med-bay and started frantically pacing.
They're keeping something from me. I know they are. This is all my fault. Ben. He said it himself. I must have come up in that box for a reason. Why would they put just one girl?
I rubbed my chest. I could barely get air in. My hands were shaking violently. My throat closed in. Face scrunched up but no tears came. I was hyperventilating again. My vision blurred over. I could barely hold myself up as I stumbled across the room. It felt like thousands of pounds of pressure weighed down on my shoulders, slowly sinking me to the bottom of the ocean. I saw Gally's face, then Newt's, then Thomas's. And then Ben. The black veins running up his neck. His bloodshot eyes. His hands on my neck. The same feeling of utter hopelessness.
I sat in the corner of the room hidden behind a pile of wooden boxes. I tried to breathe deeply while holding my head between my knees. I hugged my legs to my body, tears finally falling from my cheeks.
I don't know how long I sat there, or if I dozed off at some point, but I was awoken by footsteps entering the hut. I lifted my head from my knees and heard Chuck's voice.
"Ellie?" he called out. I didn't know how to respond but I didn't have to because he poked his head around the boxes,
"Ellie? Are you okay?" he asked.
I wiped my face,
"Yeah Chuck. Yeah, I'm fine," I smiled weakly. He sat beside me.
"The others were worried, but Alby told them to leave you be. I had to sneak past all of them to get in here." He sighed. I put my arm around his shoulders.
"Thanks Chuck," I whispered while pulling him into a hug.
I heard the wind that rushed through the Glade every time the walls closed at night. And then Alby's voice,
"Poles!" he yelled out.
I snapped my head up.
"What was that?" I asked looking at Chuck.
"What? Nothing... doesn't matter," he cringed at himself.
"Chuck? What's going on?"
He looked at me with eyes full of guilt. I jumped up and headed for the door.
"Eleanor, stop!"
I left the hut and stormed over the grass. I saw all the boys surrounding the entrance to the maze. They were all pointing spiked poles inwards at....
"Ben," I whispered. I broke into a run. They were pushing him into the maze. He whimpered and yelled at the others.
"No. No. No. Please!" he screeched, trying to push back against the poles.
He kept screaming as the boys pushed him in the moving entryway.
"Hey! Stop! What are you doing?" I yelled walking further. Chuck appeared beside me and put his arm in front of my body. I looked at him. He shook his head. Gally met my gaze. He swallowed before looking away. I watched as they pushed him through the walls. Tears started to stream down my cheeks. I put my hand over my mouth to stop me from crying out and I fell to my knees, the image in front of me too much to bear. As the door closed over Ben, he let out one final blood-curdling screech. The boys stood in silence. Faces grim and tense. Alby slowly turns to face us.
"He belongs to the maze now," he said before starting to walk away. The boys started to follow suit.
"Hey, what? Are you guys serious? We're just going to leave him? We could have done something. I could have done something!" I yelled, my voice breaking in the last part. Newt comes over to me and attempts to put his hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off.
"Calm down El, there wasn't another option,"
"There's always another option! How can you just... just abandon him?" I croaked.
"Ellie," Gally murmured taking a step closer.
"Piss off Gally," I spun on my heel and stormed away from them.
-----------------------------------------
My hands were red and sore as I tied together yet another sleeping mat. To distract myself from everything, I tied my hair back into a plait and got to work. I placed my latest creation on the pile before standing up and spinning to get more reeds.
As I spun, I saw Gally in the doorway. I jumped a mile.
"Jesus Gally! Don't creep up on me like that," I sighed while rubbing my face with my hands.
"Sorry," he chuckled. "You okay?"
I sighed and scratched the back of my head.
"Look Gal, I'm sorry for how I snapped earlier. I shouldn't have spoken like that to you and the others. I guess... I guess it was confronting seeing that," I explained.
"Ellie," he murmured taking a step closer.
"I don't know, all this feels like my fault and if I hadn't been there in the forest, Ben wouldn't be banished. Which I know is stupid, but he said it was 'my fault' and that he 'saw me' and I just-"
"Ellie!" he interrupted, coming all the way up to me and placing his hands on the sides of my face.
"None of this is your fault, okay? No one thinks that. Not me. Not anyone. Ben would have had to be banished no matter what. Okay?"
"Okay," I smiled while a singular tear rolled down my cheek and he chuckled while wiping it away with his hand, before pulling me into another hug.
I breathed in his scent and savored the feeling of safety he gave me. The warmth he gave me. All earlier feelings of hopelessness and terror gone. One arm wrapped around my waist, the other holding my head into his shoulder, stroking my hair.
"Come on, let's go join the others. They're all around the fire," he murmured into my ear. I pulled my head away.
"Okay," I whispered, my eyes flicking to his lips for a split second before returning to his eyes. He swallowed before pulling away and grabbing my hand.
"Let's go,"
I smiled before letting him pull me through the door.