♡Arhaan's pov ♡
Shades of red and pink laces the normal blues of the sky, finally bringing this day to an end.
As we are waiting for our turn I mentally pray that a screw loosens up so we don't have to go on this death wheel. I am soo close to turn back but the look on Inayah's face made my rigid on my spot.
I can't let her down, I just fucking can't.
"Ok next." The worker interrupted my thoughts as he motions us to move to our seat.
I have a very sudden urge to push him off the stairs but we'll just ignore that for now.
Inayah quickly moves inside the cabin, excitedly watching outside.
Taking a deep breath I shakily move inside the cabin, scooting to sit in the middle of the seat.
After few minutes I feel it moving, my heart began to thump louder and faster than the rickety old ride itself.
It's not faster than what Inayah makes me feel but- focus. Focus Arhaan.
The sound of metal structure creaking and the distant screams of excitement reaches my ears. And these sounds only makes me feel more uneasy because there is no turning back now.
"lets stand near that window, we'll get a better view of the carnival."
Fuck no.
I shake my head looking at her and turn to look at the opposite direction because I know if I look for more than a second she will convince me to do whatever she wants.
Our cabin shakes a little as I see Inayah walking towards the window.
Fuck.
I stand up with a speed of light and walk towards her.
I mean I can't let my wife fall down through that window, can I?
Walking towards the window wind whips through my hair, but I don't dare to look down. Knowing the memories which will resurface my brain.
One initial gentle sway makes me stumble a little causing me to look down the window.
The height seemed to multiply, amplifying my fear. The vulnerable thread of life now suspending from me. I don't see the view of carnival but the trees and our porch. It's the porch of the house where we used to live before. Soon after the cabin of ferris wheel shifts completely. The brightly lit cabin is now my room's balcony.
As I glance towards my hands holding the bars, I see that I am no longer inside my 23 old body but rather inside the 10 year old Arhaan.
I feel a tight grip of a hand at the back of my neck. The person holding it pushes me to look down.
My palms feel damp, my breaths coming in shallow gasps as I struggle to find solace in my surroundings.
"You are so weak Arhaan, so useless." The voice of my father engulfs me.
"You are so worthless, I wish I never agreed your mother to have you"
I feel a palm covering my hand as a second voice echoes my thoughts.
"Arhaan?"
"It's alright, I'm right here." The voice is to sweet, to sweet compared to my father's rough, snarly ones.
The grip on my hand tightens as I feel the grip behind my neck loosening up. The trees and the porch slowly starts to evaporate and the dazzling view of the surrounding carnival; the tiny specks of people, the distant city lights finally come in view.
I look towards my hand and see much smaller hands clinging to them.
Inayah has awe written all over her face as she sees the world down below.
Feeling my gaze on her, she looks at me and then her hand holding my hand. Her grip doesn't loosens up a bit.
And my chest burns. A good kind of burn that only feel around her.
She knew I was afraid of heights, she could have made fun of me at my vulnerable moment.
She could've called me weak just like my father does.
But she choose to comfort me at the moment. She choose to hold my shoulder and pretend that she is doing nothing.
But I know that she is doing something which no one else can.
She is making the imperfect things in my life perfect.
She is making me perfect. Perfect just for her.
Now that I look down the window a sense of serenity washes over me. High above the chaos and noise, I find the solace.
I found my solace in her.
Looking at the sky I see the night sky, adorned with countless stars which you can't just find in the pollution of Delhi. The stars seems to be sprinkling with star dust just for the moment.
I once used to love looking at the moon and the stars. Not anymore though.
Not anymore because now that I have my own personal heaven next to me.
Looking at the heaven herself, I see her eyes sparkling. Her face glows. Fucking glows. More than the moon.
For a fleeting moment, time seemed to suspend as I savour this peacefulness with her.
As the descent began, a bitter sweet feeling settles in me. The ride comes to an end, and I couldn't help but wish for it to last a little longer.
Because I know after this day I will not be afraid of heights or the feelings and memories that comes with it.
Because I know as soon she is with me, I will not be afraid of anything.
Because Despite the space between us, I've never felt this close to someone.
Because she is the new sickness in my head, she is the reason I'm not dead.
Because she is the new and the only weakness I have now.
♡Inayah's pov♡
With every breath I take, I feel it coursing through my lungs. Igniting me with this feeling. This feeling of being free.
I finally feel as if no strings, no roots are attached to my legs holding me down. There is no cage to keep me captive, no stares to keep me tame.
I feel every single thing around me, the loud noise of people screaming, the scent of night- blooming jasmine; which only grows near this time.
The bright lights surrounding us.
I can feel all of it.
And in the end I feel free.
Free to be here.
Free to feel all of this.
Free to smile.
Free to live.
As the Ferris wheel reaches its top peak, I get a sudden urge to see all of this more clearly, to feel the spirit of this carnival from a perfect angle.
I look towards Arhaan to ask him if he wants to stand near the small window in our booth. But for some reason he has been very distant from the past one hour.
"let's stand near that window, we'll get a better view of the carnival." I state.
Without giving me a proper reply he just shakes his head and start to look in a different direction.
Ok Mr rude.
Shrugging I stand up slowly and walk towards the window to look at the carnival. I mean why should I waste my chance to enjoy this ride.
As I crane my neck to look at the carnival below, I feel someone's presence behind me.
Arhaan is standing beside me holding the support bars for dear life.
A mixture of despair and anger seemed to radiate from him, he was trying to mask it but I know in no time it'll break.
It almost felt like he was not present here. Mentally his mind was somewhere else.
Somewhere he doesn't want to ever be.
It was like he is reliving a memory, a memory to dark.
His body language speaks volume, convening a desperation for escape, for release from whatever horror plaguing his mind.
As I looked at Arhaan forming an invisible barrier of anguish around him, I don't see Arhaan standing there.
I see him.
I feel him.
And as stood there observing Arhaan in his most vulnerable state, my heart went out for him, though I hate him, his fear is something I've felt before, striking a chord within me.
And in that moment as in reflex, a feeling to help him ease this pain; to provide him solace crossed through my body.
His hands were clenched into tight fists and without thinking I put my palm over his hand.
"Arhaan" I call out his name.
"It's alright, I'm right here." I say a little louder this time, hoping he will hear it over all the dark voices surrounding him.
And finally amidst the fear, something else flashes in his eyes - a glimmer of hope, a desperate plea for help buried deep within his haunted gaze.
I know that he is not asking for my help from this nightmare, but every single one of them that clutches him. As if he thinks that I am the only on that can rescue him.
But why would he ask for my help?
As I see him finally coming back to reality, I casually start to look back at the carnival below again.
As if all this never happened.
I mean if I had a breakout session like this, I wouldn't want anyone asking me about it.
And the bright shinny lights surrounding the carnival does their work, I am fully invested to see the children riding the carousels.
After few minutes I feel his gaze on me, looking towards him I look at our joined hands and then back at him, I would've repulsed and removed my hand from his grip as soon as I see them.
But not today.
Not today when he actually needs some sort of comfort. And looking at Arhaan it feels all worth it at the end, because I know he never got the comfort he deserves before during these times.
And I beg to differ that.
•°•☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆°•°
After a vacation which felt like a year long, we are finally back. Yesterday all we did was to settle back, unpacking and other stuff and today that we are finally going back to the hell hole, the least to say is that I am so fucking terrified.
Like I am going back to college for the first time after the marriage. So it’s been almost a month and half.
And Arhaan’s uncle and his family will be staying with us for some time so I know that will be hectic as well. I haven’t met his uncle yet but his aunt is a super sweet lady an then there Aadish. That kid is something else.
After the carnival he has’nt left my side, he even begged his mother so that he can sleep with me and Arhaan. But Aunty just said something like ‘ they are newly married, they need personal space’ i mean why and how does that even matter?
After finally getting dressed, I go downstairs to see Arhaan patiently waiting for me so we can leave.
Did I mention that from now we have to go to college together? Yes I couldn’t believe that myself.
Walking past him I walk towards the car cursing silently on my situation.
Like all the news about our marriage was not enough.
Sabh ko dindhora pith kar bata na hai ki aabh haam husband and wife hain.
( Translation: Let's not boast to everyone that we are husband and wife.)
I quickly open the door before he can and sit in the passenger seat, as I was closing the door I feel a pull to see that my dupatta is stuck.
Before I could untie it, Arhaan beats me.
Slowly untying the stuck thread, he lifts it and softly puts it on my lap.
The biggest mistake I made was to turn to look at him to say thanks because now our noses almost touch, my eyes widens at the proximity and the soft gasp from Arhaan states that he has the same effect.
All of a sudden he reaches over, buckling up my seatbelt, his fingers brushing against my arm as he secures it.
I try to push myself as further as I can but his face is still to close.
“All done” his voice comes in a bare whisper.
“mhm”
And for the next thirty minutes he drives in an awkward silence.
I don't know what college have planned for us.
And trust me I don't even want to know.
•°•☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆•°•
An: First of all I am sorry for a late update, but trust me I had no time to write and edit this.
There maybe a double update soon ( only if I get time because my schedule is fucked up from past few days) But if not then there will be a normal update on Saturday ♡♡
Thank you so much to everyone who take a little bit time out of their days to read this book
I am forever grateful ♡♡
Don't forget to vote you guys (☆) it gives motivation to continue writing..
Follow my account on instagram the link is in bio, I am regularly posting Crushed Chimere content there♡♡
I'll see you guys soon, and you can comment your views in the comments section, lets make this page a bit more interactive ♥️😚
Byeee humans 🪐🌩🌕
Peace ✌️
Treat people with kindness ( even the mean ones)