Three Idiots and a Ghost

By salkim03

393K 30.9K 14.6K

3 + 1 = 3 ... idiots and a ghost! Cooper Smith, the clueless one. Archer Lee, the awkward one. Skyler Rose, t... More

3I1G (3D1P #1) - Idiotic Introduction
When an idiot showered
When three idiots attacked
When a ghost said hi and received a f**k you
When a cat gave a piece of his mind and a ghost got a name
When a ghost fell asleep
When a ghost possessed an idiot
When an idiot danced
When an idiot got passionate about bananas
When a ghost said sorry and received a fart
When a ghost imagined a creepy idiot
When an idiot turned dumb
When a ghost snuck around and pissed off an idiot
When a ghost dreamed of an idiot
When two idiots were in class
When an idiot cried Ringu!
When someone never got a reply
When an idiot worried too much
When an idiot got violated
When an idiot and a ghost had a nice time
When an idiot kept himself busy in his room
When an idiot was utterly clueless and another idiot lost his manhood
When a ghost went undercover
When someone passed by
When an idiot went to a gay bar
When a ghost felt sorry
When a ghost finally learned something about herself
When an idiot failed again to remember a girl's name
When a ghost couldn't look in the mirror
When a ghost got two bad pictures and a passible one
When three idiots and a ghost celebrated
Miniseries: A Cat's Chagrin (Part 1 of 2)
When a ghost ran away
When an idiot didn't like someone
When three idiots got into character
When a ghost watched the news
When two idiots skipped class
When a ghost got a friend she could relate to
When a ghost couldn't do anything
When a ghost knew this was farewell
When an idiot couldn't be awkward
When a ghost didn't know
When an idiot's grandma came to visit
When an idiot was possessed by evil spirits
When a ghost went on a trip
When a ghost remembered
When a ghost found acceptance
When three idiots sort of kidnapped someone
When a ghost found forgiveness
When a ghost reached her last day
When three idiots and a ghost said goodbye
Miniseries: A Cat's Chagrin (Part 2 of 2)
When three idiots spent a day without a ghost
When three idiots, a ghost, and a cat got interviewed
When an idiot wrote a Pattwad story
3W1Z (3D1P #2) - Introduction (Because I've decided to move everything here)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 01)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 02)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 03)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 01)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 02)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 03)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 01)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 02)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 03)
Because you can better yourself (Part 01)
Because you can better yourself (Part 02)
Because you can better yourself (Part 03)
Because you will get to places (Part 01)
Because you will get to places (Part 02)
Because you will get to places (Part 03)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 01)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 02)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 03)
sgniht oder nac uoy esuaceB
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 01)
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 02)
Because there's always another chance (Part 01)
Because there's always another chance (Part 02)
Because there's always another chance (Part 03)
Because ghosts don't have friends (Part 01)

Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 03)

101 9 2
By salkim03

Next day, the three teens set out early in the morning to search for the PISS. They figured the best place to start was at the heart of the city. Warrick was left on squeezing duty again, but even after hours of roaming about, the POOP didn't get any softer than chilled cookie dough. It seemed the PISS was just out of their reach.

"Okay, it's way too fucking hot now," Warrick groaned when the sun was at its peak. "Let's go to that café over there and cool down for a bit."

"Alright," Walt agreed, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

The teens entered the café and grabbed an empty table before Walt and Ever went to the counter to order their drinks. Warrick practically melted into his seat from the heat. He should have ditched being stylish and just borrowed one of his brother's running shorts. Instead, he was stuck in his thick, dark jeans. Ever was in a similar attire as him, but she barely broke a sweat. He wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that she was technically not alive. Dead bodies did tend to be cold.

"Thanks," Warrick said when Walt and Ever came back with three refreshing lemonades. He gulped down half of it at once and smacked his lips. "Man, that hits the spot!"

"There's supposed to be a heatwave today," Ever said, checking the weather on her phone.

"No wonder..." Warrick reached into his pocket for the brown pendant and tossed it to his brother. "I doubt we're going to make any progress today, so I'm done squeezing that turd."

"It's the POOP, idiot," Walt corrected. "The TURD is The Text for Understanding Real Dragons."

"Dragons are real?" Ever asked.

"Well, it's a book on how to talk to reptiles and reptilians."

"Oh." Ever took a sip of her lemonade and let that statement sink in. "Wait, what?"

Hissss.

She turned her head to a man that passed by their table. He blinked, and his golden reptile eyes were gone. Ever blinked a few times herself in disbelief when Merlin's words came back to her.

"The world is full of strange and amazing phenomena, you know! You just have to be willing to open your eyes to them."

"PISS, POOP, TURD," Warrick said. "Wizards must all have the humor of a third-grader."

"What makes you think they chose those names to be funny?" Walt said.

"Come on, you can't just choose a name like POOP in all seriousness."

"Then, what about the FART?"

Warrick giggled.

"Look who really has the humor of a third-grader. You just laughed at the word 'fart.'"

"Did not! A giggle and a laugh are different!"

"You're missing the point, idiot."

Ever watched the twins continue their bickering, all the while thinking about Merlin's statement. She definitely had a different perspective on the world since meeting these two boys. It made her realize just how closed off her own world used to be.

She was always stuck wearing a mask in front of her friends and being voiceless at home. She assumed it was because she had no one to listen to her. But now, she wondered if it was actually because she never risked letting anyone into her world to hear her in the first place.

"It's The Feather of Artistic Realization and Talent."

"Fuck you! You just made that up!"

Ever snorted, immediately grabbing the boys' attention. She took that snort into a full-on laugh.

"Wow..." Warrick said in awe.

"W-What?" Ever replied.

"I just never heard you laugh before. This is the first time I'm seeing you smile, too."

Ever immediately lowered the corners of her mouth.

"Hey, you actually have a really nice smile."

Walt nodded. "You do."

"Never stop smiling, Forever. You have such a beautiful smile."

"I didn't even know you had dimples," Warrick pointed out.

"Yeah..." Ever's voice trailed off, feeling herself tear up at the memory of her grandma. She cleared her throat and said, "Anyway, it's the last day of summer break."

Warrick groaned, "Don't remind me..."

"When are we supposed to look for that pendant once we start school?"

Walt replied, "We'll have to squeeze in time after school and make use of all our weekends. This is regarding your life, so we can't slack off."

Ever felt rather sorry that Walt and Warrick would have to give up so much of their time for her. And yet, the boys didn't look that disappointed about it at all. If anything, Warrick was just sad he would have to sit inside a classroom for hours every weekday again starting tomorrow. But at least it would be senior year.

"I can't believe it's going to be our last year of high school," Warrick said. "But hopefully it won't turn out to be the last year of your life, Ever."

"Jeez." Ever shook her head with the slightest grin, which she hoped the twins wouldn't notice. "Yeah, thanks."


• • •

We have reached the mid-season finale! 

3W1Z will return in about a month with the second half of the story. I'll make an announcement on my profile with an exact date soon, so please consider following. And check out my other stories in the meantime, too. :)

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