I turned a page in Helene's diary and ran my hands across the brailled text.
It appeared as though it had been meticulously punched in, hinting at a covert intention for a secret someone. Scanning my eyes on it felt like an intrusion, but one that I took pleasure in embarking . . .
'Sometimes things don't go by plan.
Sometimes accidents happen. Shit happens. And you have to let it. You can't stop it. I couldn't stop it.
And sometimes the person you once thought loved you back can betray you.
I let it happen, because I wasn't in control. The universe was. The scripts dictated that everything had to go according to the author's plan. I could resist, but no . . . Goddess knew what that man could do to my daughter if I resisted. Sometimes all you have to do is accept the consequences, give up, and move on. And that's what I did. Step down, give out the control, and let whatever evil plans he had in his deranged mind to take charge.
But if I could do something, I would.
If I could turn back the time and learn about a way out of this, then I would.
They say the cure of a disease lies at the source of it. Maybe that was true, but who cared anymore? As much as I wanted to kill for a glance at my daughter, I didn't think it was worth it for her. Nobody wanted a monster for a mother–'
A horn honked loudly from outside, startling me out of my skin and reminding that Dativa was here to pick me up for class like she promised. I was supposed to be getting ready, not reading. Shutting down the braille files, I frantically scurried from place to place. I pulled a hoodie over my t-shirt, cargos over my underpants, and boots over my bare feet. I clasped my backpack and ventured out, my braids billowing in the breeze.
Dativa watched me as I trudged down the lawn towards her car. She maintained her stare as I slipped in, closed the door, uttered a greeting, and even after I fastened my seat belt. What in the gorgon's name was wrong with her?
"You look . . . " Her gaze intensified, making me somehow uncomfortable.
"What?" Her scrutiny made me a little nervous.
"Different." She finished, smirking. "Something good happened? Mind sharing the details with your bestie?"
I saw this coming. Because the triplets had told me the same thing right after I got back home from Phoebe's. That I looked different.
Seemed different.
Of course. Of course.
Dativa raised a brow at me as she drove, eyeing me in suspicion, but with a furtive undertone that clearly showed she could guess what went by before I hopped into her car.
My face burnt and I glanced away from her. I stared out the window, trying to find interest in the trees and buildings flying past. But my stomach kept churning, like someone lit a tiny fire inside of it. I thought of waving to kill it off, but thoughts of Phoebe pushed more wood into the scorching blaze, making it blow up even more. Fuck.
I turned, hoping my best friend was minding her own business, only to find her looking straight at me. We're going to end up dead if she didn't focus on the damn road.
"Nothing happened." I looked away again, hoping she'd shrug it off. It took her a while, but she did. I knew she was playing the patience card and high-key waiting for me to spill the tea already.
The car stopped at a parking lot close to the lecture room where we were going to attend our class. I stepped out first, almost running back in immediately when the icy air stung needles through my skin.
"Did you finish your assignment?" Dativa casually asked as she locked the car.
I almost tripped at her question.
"What? What assignment?" Confusion and fear coated my words.
"The assignment from last class. Miss Joy gave it to us last week, remember? Told us we'll be turning it in today?" She marked with extra confidence and I didn't need to ask to know if she finished hers.
"Remember?" Dativa repeated, but the only thing that came to mind was that whoever Miss Joy was, she was probably not going to be joyful about me. I halted my feet at the door because, well; I needed a solution right now before I–
"Here," Dativa pulled out a stack of stapled papers from her tote bag and pushed them in my hands. "I did it for you, dweeb. You should learn not to be so fucking worried when you have a best friend on your back."
Shit. I wanted to kiss her damn cheeks red, not even believing what she just said. But all I could do was smile and whisper a "Thanks."
We got inside, right on time before some strangers almost took our usual favourite spot. Fifteen minutes early for class, and the room was half full already.
"I slept with Phoebe." I found myself muttering when we settled.
Dativa's eyes grew wide and before she could scream, I had my hand over her mouth already, stifling the noise. Screw her.
She pushed me away when she couldn't breathe and we both laughed when I let go.
"No wonder you're fucking glowing. I knew something happened!"
Well . . . a lot of things happened.
"You should low your voice before I–"
"I thought you said it was just a date–I didn't know you planned to go all the way!"
Now she was over excited. And trust me, there's nothing more uncomedownable than an over excited Dativa.
"Nobody planned anything–"
"I mean, I don't fucking trust her guts that much but you've finally got your girl and I don't think there's anything more better!" Dativa enveloped me in an unreasonable hug before pulling away and shaking my shoulders like she lost her mind.
"Tiva–"
"So, was it good?"
"You're crazy if you think I'm gonna tell you anything more." I chuckled. "I–"
"Hey ladies!" a familiar voice broke in, making me and Dativa turn to check whoever was speaking.
On the aisle beside us stood nobody but Noreen. And of course, behind her, the one girl I wanted to pull into an eternal embrace, Phoebe.
"Uh–Hi?" Dativa's gaze fixated on the redhead's bosom, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes in response.
I didn't even have time to reply to the salutation, too swoon away by the sight of Phoebe in a flowery white cropped blouse and a cream-colored pencil miniskirt. Her outfit matched her best friend's, except that Noreen wore it in a burgundy shade. I wondered if they were finally on good terms now?
"Mind if we sit with you two?" Noreen's eyes were solidly set on Dativa while her lips flashed into a poker smile that I had seen her wear way too often to call it her signature. Her personality reminded me of none other than Mr. Pokerface himself, McQuinn. She seemed more his daughter than Phoebe ever was.
Noreen's question had come out more of an order. It didn't seem like me and Dativa were even allowed to decline the request. In fact, we didn't even get to answer before the two belles took their seats. Dativa's face fell when Phoebe sat next to me, and Noreen was on her side. Something fishy was going on with my best friend again, but yeah, whatever.
"Hey wildflowers," Phoebe smiled at me and my heart skipped the beat. I was coming to terms with the fact that I might never get used to the nickname.
"Hi." I smiled back as if she could see me.
"Tell me I made an excellent decision of coming over here? Noreen seriously didn't want to."
"It's the best decision." I felt her intertwine her pinky finger to mine under the desk. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, especially when I woke to an empty bed. You almost made me believe that you didn't give two shits if your mother found us together, you know?"
That kinda hurt, so I moved towards her and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"I'm sorry . . . " I had lost control of myself last night, and I couldn't stand the idea of her waking up next to a monster. I didn't want her to. "I just wanted the best for you, so I couldn't stay."
"If you want the best for me, then promise to stay with me next time." She tugged on my sleeve. I took notice of the goosebumps that had began to form on her bare shoulders. Gorgeous girls and their audacity to follow fashion trends regardless of weather always mystified me.
My eyes searched hers, and I had to remind myself that I was in class. I should hold back the urge to kiss her for later. So instead, I removed my hoodie and put it on her. Before Phoebe and I could exchange any more words, Dativa and Noreen cleared their throats way too loud. Phoebe and I both turned at their attention, only for them to bicker around. The scene was so casual it could almost fool me that the two were long time friends when they technically just met. I mean, yes, they probably knew each other as classmates, but they never spoke before. Well, not in my presence.
"So," Dativa crossed her arms and leant back on her chair, "Whose plan was it to come over here and sit with us? Noreen or the blind girl?"
I felt Phoebe let go of my hand as I shot my best friend a disturbed glance at her choice of words. But Dativa didn't even seem to care about anything.
"Um, it was totally her." Noreen instantly pointed out, like she was dodging a ball.
"And her name is Phoebe." I corrected.
"Yeah, whatever." Dativa rolled her eyes and actually glared at Phoebe. I felt Phoebe tense beside me. "If you hurt my best friend, don't expect to be excused just because you're 'special' and all that."
I couldn't believe Dativa's words were coming from the same mouth that spilled sweet words to me when no one was around.
"Tiva, what the hell–"
"Did you hear that, blind girl?" Dativa asked, her voice louder than expected while she leaned over in Phoebe's direction, as if she was trying to send a message to a deaf person.
"Shut your mouth." I pushed my best friend in distaste, but she still had a glare on Phoebe, who was now visibly uncomfortable.
"What–I was just making it clear. We can't trust anyone with the name 'McQuinn' on them. They're all thieves by nature and betrayers by DNA."
Was Dativa not telling me something? But who cared anymore, I had lost my cool. Before I could yell at my best friend, Phoebe shot up from her seat in anger and stormed out of the hall. At the same time, the professor walked through the door.
"Fuck you, Tiva!" I cursed and immediately rushed after Phoebe, who was now playing deaf as I called her name more than twice.