"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." -Ecclesiastes 3:1
No one in the Fischer Family agreed with the Nuremberg Laws. Especially Felix. Felix didn't understand. But yet again, the laws have been in the act for years now. He couldn't even remember when the laws didn't exist, or when there weren't cries of help over the radio, or when there wasn't something distressful happening down the block. It was 1938, so the possibilities were endless. With that, came a lot of ridicule.
Though Victor Gunter had no issues with Margret and her family, he certainly didn't want his youngest son to be badly influenced. But in Felix's eyes, the Fischer family, and the Orthodox Church in Amsterdam felt like the most accepting and loving people he had ever met. More than his father or brothers ever did at least. He was even baptized in the Church, with Margret and her whole family watching and supporting him. That had to mean something right?
Things only got worse as time went on. Margret was called out for being a Jew, even though she wasn't even Jewish! Just because her father and brother were Jewish didn't make her so. And besides, they were kind people, they never did anything wrong. Felix thought that the Jews he met were some of the finest people he knew. But that didn't mean everyone else agreed with him. He was mocked for being around the Fischer family, but he didn't care. His so-called friends were never really his friends in the first place. More like acquittances. But that didn't matter now. None of it did. Especially when his father told him he had to join Hitler's Youth.
"He's having you join the Fuher's Youth program?" Mrs. Fischer scoffed at the idea. "But you're such a fine boy, you don't need that!"
"He'll be fine, Aggy," Mr. Fischer said, looking up from the newspaper written in Dutch, the smoke from his afternoon cigar bellowing out from the tip. "He's a smart man." Felix saw Mr. Fischer wink from the corner of his eye. It was a chilly morning in January, and Felix was in the kitchen with Mrs. Fischer and Margret, chopping some vegetables for supper later. Sully was crawling on the floor, now eleven months old, while Avi was reading an architecture book in English. Avi was much smarter than Felix. But Avi loved to study, and Felix didn't.
Felix was an expectational student, or at least that's what his teachers would tell him, but that didn't mean he liked to study. Avi and Margret were readers by trade, while Felix enjoyed the Sciences and History. He also adorned art- which did well with Mr. Fischer. Mr. Fischer was an art professor at the University in Amsterdam and made lots of money selling and transporting art from the Netherlands all the way to the US. It made Felix feel hopeful that there was something more than just doing arithmetic each and every day of his life. Knowing there was something else out there that was better, brought him peace. His father told him that Hitler's Youth would educate him, and prepare him for the future. It would give him an edge over the other boys, and get him possibly into the army or the navy. It could even get him to America.
Victor Gunter always had an obsession with the United States. After his brother, Olek, went after the First World War, he made the Gunter family richer than Victor could have ever imagined. This caught Victor's attention because he did not want the family name to fade in the dust after his passing. Gunter had four sons; Felix, who was the youngest, the twins, Dirk and Jasper, both were enrolled in Hitler's Youth at the of eleven and were now wealthy soldiers who worked firsthand with the Fuhrer himself. His other son, Aton, who was also in Hitler's Youth as a boy (now seventeen) was a trainer for the Youth program and brought supplies to the enemy lines for the Nazi Party.
Now, fifteen-year-old Felix has to join as well.
"Smart man or not, I wouldn't ever send my son into such an awful place. I heard from Gloria that they forced young boys to storm the RCGYA and control the workers," Mrs. Fischer cried as she scooped the chopped-up vegetables and tossed them into a metal pot. The steam from the boiling water floated up in fumes, filling the room with the satisfying smell of roast. The Fischer's made lots of roasts in the past few years. It was one of the only meals that fed the whole family and was still mildly affordable.
"That's just a rumor, Mamma," Margeit said, kissing her mother's cheek.
"Besides, you can't send your son into Hitler's Youth anyways. I'm Jewish, remember?" Avi glanced up from his book, chuckling under his breath. Mr. Fischer whacked Avi's arm and gave him a stern look. Felix and Avi had an off-and-on relationship. They agreed on certain things, like art, music, and politics, but when it came to the Third Reich, they could never talk about it with any sense of understanding. It made sense, though. Avi was one of the many Jews who were being persecuted just because he was Jewish. He was getting all of his rights taken from him, all his dreams were smashed under the boots of the Nazis, who never once thought to look back and see the lives they had torn apart. And now, Felix was becoming one of them. He knew he didn't want to be like them. He didn't agree with any of the propaganda that the Fuhrer had tried to produce in the past few years. Whenever it came on the radio, Felix would change the station, even if he was home alone or with the Fischers. He didn't believe any of it for one second. But he wasn't sure if Avi trusted him or not.
The school that he, Avi, and Margeit had gone to segregated the Jews and the Dutch only a few months ago. And now most of the boys who weren't Jewish were being forced to study German History, Military, Survival Training in the outdoors, propaganda, and other things that Felix had never even seen before. His whole class was issued new textbooks the day that the Jewish students were sent out focusing on how the Aryan race was superior and changing some of the stories and history that Felix had been learning over the past few years. Everything changed. And on the first day of German-influenced classes, one thing was made apparent.
Any Relation with a Jew is Strictly Prohibited.
One day, when Felix went to walk Margeit home from school, a group of boys who were involved with the Hitler Youth with their red badges- came up and pushed Margeit off the sidewalk, almost causing her to fall into the canal. They laughed and shouted, and called her Itzig, which Felix later found out meant obsolete. Margeit, who like Felix could understand German fluently, started to whimper as the boys walked away. It was a group of about ten or twelve, all red or beach blonds who were a little shorter than Felix was. But in Margeit's eyes, they were much more intimating. Felix had to push through the group to get to her as she lost her footing. She even dropped one of her books into the dark water. Margeit curled up into Felix's arms as they walked away, trying to save whatever was left of her pride while she still could.
It was a quiet walk home after that, tears were filling up in Margeit's sparkling blue eyes, which made Felix's heart shatter. He placed an arm around her shoulders, trying to comfort her. She leaned into his side, hiding her face from the rest of the world in shame.
Once they got to the Fischer house, Margeit put her books on the kitchen table and ran straight into her mother's arms. Sobbing, Mrs. Fischer tried to comfort her daughter, consoling her that they were just immature boys who were being raised wrong. But Felix and Avi shared a glance from across the room. Avi's face was red with rage and he would've ran out the door and after the boys if his mother was in the room.
Avi had a special hatred towards the Nazis. Just like the Nazis had a special rage against people like Avi. Jews and Nazis don't mix.
Ever since that day, Felix went everywhere with Margeit. It was normal for Felix to walk Margeit home from school, but now, Felix walked Margeit to and from school, to a small Jewish bakery (which was now ran by low class Dutchmen), the ice cream shop, the market, anywhere and everywhere so he could be by her side. Now that they were in a "steady relationship", Felix felt obligated to protect Margeit. Mr. Fischer even made it clear that he wanted Felix to stay with Margeit. She was not only a Jew, but a woman. "Women are already objectified enough," Mr. Fischer said, "her wearing the Star of David makes her even more of a target."
Now, the kitchen with a Jewish family, lays the young Dutch Felix, who was now being told to go against his family. Or at least her family.
"Felix, darling? Will you and Margeit go get some bread for supper tonight," Mrs. Fischer said as she mixed her roast. Margeit grinned at Felix, who winked it responce.
"Of course, Mrs. Fischer," He replied. Margeit kissed her father's cheek and raced to the front door, pulling her red coat off the coat rack. Felix grabbed the coat and helped Margeit put in on, grabbing his own coat-just a plain beige- and stepping out into the chrisp air.
Margeit nearly skipped down the steps of the home, turning back to smile at Felix, who followed her in suit. Her red coat was still a defining feature of her aesthetic; being that it was one of the first things that he noticed about her.
The only thing that bothered him about it was not the dusty yellow star with the word Jude on the front. Under her red coat was a white, furrily dress with a blue bow that tied in the back. Her auburn hair was fashioned in a bun, and she was wearing white gloves and black heeled shoes. Compared to his simple black slacks a white button up, and a dark colored newsboy cap, she looked much more noticeable. Beautiful. Stunning compared to him. "Why are you walking so slow? Come on!" She said, waving him towards her.
"I'm never too slow." He mocked, sticking her tongue out at her. As they started to walk, Felix offered Margeit his arm, where she curled her hand around his bicep, shoving her free hand into her pocket and leaning closer into his side. Felix kissed Margeit's forehead as they walked, taking it the little bits of snow that cascaded down from the heavens above.
They traveled across the small stone bridge over the canal, reaching the small bakery on the side of the roads. Some people had bicycles, which was a luxury that was taken away from the Jews a long time ago. There were a few cars that rolled by, paying no mind to the couple as they crossed the street. Felix purposely kept the side of the coat with the Star of David close to him, so people didn't notice it.
"You so were trying to hide from Sully! Do not deny it!" She laughed, pushing him away as she leaned over the bridge of the canal, looking down at the water.
"I was not." He said, standing beside her.
"You don't have to hide the star, you know. I'm not ashamed." She said, placing her hand on top of his. Felix sighed, he wanted people to notice her loving nature, her beauty, her kindness, her brains, rather than the fact that she was Jewish. Not Jewish-Christian, but still related a Jew.
"I know you're not ashamed. I just- just want you to be safe," He explained, reaching to grab both of her hands and faced her. She smiled, rolled her eyes jokingly before dragging him off the bridge and down the street.
Stepping into the shop, Margeit rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them up. Felix led Margeit to the counter, where a glass case held some delicatable treats such as pies, cakes, cookies, bread, and muffins. Felix scanned the case, looking for a certain bread that Mrs. Fischer wanted. A clerk came up and greeted them, helping Felix get two loaves of wheat bread and handing them to him.
Before Felix paid, he saw Margeit looking down on a chocolate cookie, coated in powdered sugar. One of those cookies cost the same amount of the bread Felix was buying- so the Fischer's didn't spend much money of desserts unless it was holiday or special occasion. But Felix could have sweets whenever he wanted.
Pulling out an extra couple guilders, he asked the clerk for one of the desserts. Margeit beamed at him as he grabbed the treat, now in a small bag, and handed it to Margeit. The two walked away from the counter, with the bread and the cookie, but were stopped by a man stumbling drunkily in front of them. "Move it, Jewish scum," the man growled as he pushed past them and out the door. Margeit stiffened, standing still for a few moments. She sniffled, grabbing Felix's arm and dragging him out of the store.
After a few feet, she pulled away from her, speedily walking down the street and through the crowded, the bread bag in hand.
"Margeit!" Felix shouted as he chased her. She kept walking, as if she was trying to put as much space between herself and the shop as possible. "Margeit, wait!" Once Felix caught up to her, she had a single tear streaming down her cheek He grabbed her arms, trying to get her to face him, but she kept looking down, hugging herself. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Margeit, look at me," He tilted her chin up to look him in the eyes, trying to cheer her up.
"I- this should not be okay," She sobbed as she looked back down again. Felix wiped away a tear from her cheek.
"I know. I'm sorry." Felix muttered before kissing her cheek, offering his arm for her again so they could keep walking. As the two went back over the bridge, Felix handed her the small bag with the cookie, making her laugh wetly. She pulled out the cookie, breaking it and handing him a piece. It was only Margeit who would give away what little she already had. Felix took a small bite from the cookie, while Margeit enjoyed all that she could.
"You know, I think you joining the program might benefit you," Margeit said as she finished the last bit of the cookie.
"How come, darling?" Felix asked. Darling was a name that his father had for his mother before she died. Felix said it once on accident, in which Margeit said it was her favorite pet name. And thus, darling became his name for her.
"I've heard they provide millitary training and education for the Germans. Maybe you'll be able to get into university or a career. Maybe you could be a commander of some big army or fly jets for the Air Force. You could even travel the world as a sciencist or enterpenuar of some sort," Margeit said, leaning into Felix's side once more. Felix's heart swelled up again.
The two had talked about many of their dreams over the past year that they've known each other. Felix loved science, and absolutely adored creating new things. Chemistry was one of his favorites. "It would be a great opportunity, but I don't want to seem like I'm betraying you or your family," Felix said.
"You won't be," Margeit said, stopping front in front of her house. "My father doesn't think it. My mother doesn't think it. Even Avi doesn't think it. Besides, it'll bring your family honor. And it'll make it look like you aren't sympathizing with Jews,"
"What if I want to?"
"They might do something to you if they think you're trying to help us," Margeit stated, shoving the paper bag into the pocket of her coat. She turned to face him, ruffling his ashy brown hair fixing his newsboy cap. He knew she was right. She was always right. If Nazis, or anyone really, knew that he was going in and out of a Jewish household each day, and if he had a relationship with a Jewish girl, then he could be thrown in jail. They might even throw the whole family in jail, and Felix wasn't about to let that happen. Fortunately for them, there weren't very many Nazis officials running around Amsterdam.
There were lots of reports on the national broadcasts of possible Nazi invasion, but that was something that loomed around for almost six years. There wasn't any proof of them showing up any time soon, so hopefully, there would be nothing to worry about. Hopefully.
"Well, I won't let them. Don't worry about me, darling. I'll be alright," he said. Margeit smiled again, the sadness he saw in her eyes fading away. White snowflakes flowed down from the sky, making it much colder than it was earlier that afternoon. But to Felix, it was perfect. There were small flurries in Margeit's hair and on her bright coat, and it seemed as though everything was shining around them. They remained facing each other for a few moments, before Felix leaned closer to her, kissing her lips lightly. The two broke apart, walking up the steps and walking through the doorway.
As they pulled off their coats and started towards the kitchen, Avi looked up from his book skeptically. "What took so long?' He said loudly. "Got lost?"
"Oh shush, Avi," Margeit said, whacking his arm playfully and walking up to their mother, handing her the loeaves of bread. Felix leaned against the table, rubbing his hands together as a small giggle came from the side of him. Little Sully, with with tuffles of blond hair and the exact same blue eyes of her sister, came up to him and grabbed onto his leg.
"Well, hello there, Sully," Felix smiled as he leaned down to pick Sully up. Sully laughed- big guffaws- as Felix bounced her up and down. The baby grabbed at Felix's cap, and unfortunately was able to pull it off before he could catch her. Sully kept laughing as he tried to pry it from her fingers, but with advil, and started to suck on the bill. "Yeah, I'm not going to want that back now," Felix laughed as he walked into the living room with Sully.
The living space wasn't too big- it had a velvet sofa and a dresser pressed against the wall, with a large radio and record player standing on the top. Several plants were placed in the corners of the room, and a small, oak wood coffee table was placed in the center, with only family heirlooms, trinkets, and candles stacked in the middle. Family pictures covered every inch of the walls, and the sun shining through the bay window on the other side of the room illuminated the house with a bright glow. Little bits of ice were painted on the glass, and if Felix focused enough, he could see the outline of the snowflakes outside.
Felix sat on the sofa, where another hand chair was placed on the side. Sully sat on his lap, still eating away at his cap, while Margeit came down from stairs and in through the kitchen to sit next to him, a book in hand. The book, En toen waren er geen, was just one of the many murder mystery books that Margeit read in her free time. She read through plenty of books, sometimes two each day if she had the time. There were even sometimes that she would read to him. As her eyes traced the pages, Felix looked over her shoulder, trying to read whatever sentence she was on, but she already flipped the page. "Will you read to me?"
Margeit glanced at him, laughing lightly. "You won't know where I'm at," Felix shrugged, hoping she would brush it aside and read to him. And in his forture, she did.
She always made books sound more interesting than he did when he read them. Her voice was soft as she read, seeing that Sully was rubbing her tired eyes and snuggling into Felix, still holding on to Felix's cap as if it was a snuffed animal. Sully had a favorite white rabbit that she could never leave home without. Felix couldn't remember what it's name was. Buttons? Mittens? Anyways, his thoughts slowly faded as he leaned into Margeit, listening to her read, and finally feeling peace for the first time that day.
Joining Hitler Youth was burning in Felix's brain all day. He was worried that the people he now called his family would hate him, or reject him for engaging with the enemy. He also didn't want to let his father and brothers down. He didn't want his father to leave him, push him aside, and leave him behind like he did with his mother. His mother, sick and weak, told Victor that he shouldn't have the boys enrolled with any Nazi idelogy, thinking that they would only poison their minds. But Victor didn't listen. During the last few months of her life, Victor would do anything to stay away from her, all up until the point she died. Even at her funeral, Victor never cried, and never spoke. And Felix didn't want that same thing to happen to him.
"Maybe I'm being selfish..." Felix thought to himself as he felt Sully readjust in his lap, sleeping comfortably on top of him. "I'm not being prescuted. I'm not the ones being attacked." His heart ached for the Fischers, for Margeit and Avi and little Sully. For the thousands, no, millions of Jews who were being prescuted by Nazis and the Germans. Felix wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to protect the Fischers, to protect the girl he loved. He wanted to be a hero. He wanted a future with Margeit. And he wanted to live in a world where he could go anywhere and there would be equality.
But there was nothing he could do. Not sitting in the background. Joining the Hitler Youth would give Felix insight on what was really happening in the world of war. It would get him money, make his father happy, and also help him protect the Fischers, and any other friends he had. He would do anything to protect the people he loved. And who knows, maybe his father's influence could get him somewhere. Maybe he could become a soldier, or a commander. Maybe he could saved those being attacked, defend his country. Maybe he could become the greatest leader in war that the Dutch had ever seen. Margeit had faith in him. So why shouldn't he?
Maybe that would be exactly what he needs to do to survive.