⚠️Trigger warning⚠️
⚠️blood, death⚠️
"Indigo... your not second guessing wanting to see me... are you?" I face towards the doors not looking at him. "I know I can be a bit hard to deal with, and I get off on the risk factor of sneaking around if I'm being honest, but I hope your not actually mad for what I did earlier. If you are, I won't do it again."
"I'm not mad. I know there wasn't any real risk but I kind of enjoyed it too. Don't tell anyone but I also like sneaking around with you." He throws me a wink and smiles as the elevator doors open.
I smile too feeling giddy. I'm glad he didn't mind because if he was okay with it, I definitely wanted to come visit him more often.
We head out to my car and decide on going to get gimbap. I drive to a little non-busy restaurant run by a sweet older woman. She gets our orders and makes small talk with us while making the food.
"So are you two dating? You're both very good looking." Indigo picks up his cup and drinks a sip of tea. He looks at me as if expecting me to answer.
"Uh no- we work together." I glance back at him and he says nothing of my answer.
"Oh that's odd for a pair as good looking as you. I have to say I'm very surprised." She looks up from the food and clicks her tongue. "I have a few grandsons about your age. You can take your pick. They would be happy to marry a pretty girl like you."
She laughs but I think she's seriously trying to set me up. I laugh too but Indigo looks unamused by the idea.
"I'm okay for now. I'm not really looking for anyone at the moment." I say and she sighs disappointedly.
"Thats really too bad. My grandsons are nice boys. Let me know if you change your mind." She sets down a tray on the table and we nod our thanks. She goes off to attend to a new table and I grab my chopsticks, digging in.
"Are you feeling okay? You've barely touched the food." I ask after noticing Indigo picking at the food.
"I'm suddenly not very hungry." He sighs setting down his chopsticks. He looks into my eyes as if he's searching for something.
"Would you be hungrier if I hand fed you." I joke holding out my gimbap for him. He looks at it but doesn't make a move to eat it. I raise a brow then set it down.
"June... what are we doing here?" He looks more serious than I think I've ever seen him.
"Well I thought we were eating gimbap but it looks like that's not happening anymore." I set my chopsticks down and give Indigo my undivided attention.
"That's not what I meant. I want to know why your doing this. Why do you keep bringing me out on dates and acting like there's something more between us if you're not looking to date anyone at the moment." He clenches his jaw as if he's having some internal debate.
"Well I'm doing that because I'm interested in you and I'm not looking to date anyone else because I already found what I'm looking for." I rest my head on my hand urging him to put the pieces together himself.
"June-" He's cut off by a phone ringing. I grab my phone but it's not actually mine this time. He pulls out his phone and I let out an exaggerated breath.
"Is that important?" I ask after he stares down at the caller ID for a moment.
"I- yes I think so. I've gotta take this." He stands and exits the little restaurant. I frown as I watch him leave.
The old woman working comes over to my table and sits where Indigo was. She looks over my face then let's out a laugh.
"You like that boy that you came in with don't you? Your eyes say it all. Why aren't you guys dating?" She laughs again and I let out a huff.
"If only it was that easy. It seems fate has other plans for us." I take a drink of my tea and she gives me a judgey look.
"Don't give me that baloney. If you really like him you should ask him to be your boyfriend. From the looks I saw him giving you, I don't think he'll say no."
"Well we haven't known each other that long and now we work together. Perhaps I should wait a little longer?" I say it more like a question.
"Your heart knows when the time is right. As long as you follow it good things are bound to happen to you." She says like a wise fortune teller and I nod.
I suppose waiting for my heart to sense the right time is actually my best bet. I know he asked to be my boyfriend when we were drunk but I don't think that counts.
She refills the tea then leaves the table. I sit there thinking of her words till Indigo comes back. When he returns he looks uneasy. I instantly sense somethings wrong.
"Hey, are you okay? Who was that?" I ask he remains standing and grasps the back of the chair with white knuckles.
"Well that was my grandmother's nursing home. She has alzheimer's and randomly left the hospital this morning. They can't find her." He shuts his eyes and I can tell he's really worried about his grandmother.
"What?? Do you know where she might be? We can go try to look for her." I stand and collect my things so we can go.
"I'm not sure. She has been having more trouble remembering things recently but I do have one idea." He says, running a hand through his hair.
"Okay we can check there." I toss him my keys then set some cash on the counter. "Let's go." He nods and we start to exit the restaurant.
"Goodbye honey. You two come again, alright." The older woman says as we leave. I stop to give a polite bow and Indigo does the same.
"Goodbye ma'am. Thanks for the food." Indigo says and the woman nods. I also say goodbye and we leave. When we get into the car Indigo starts it quickly then drives off.
"So where is it that you think she could have gone?" I ask as we roll down the streets.
"Well when I was younger my parents passed in an accident. My grandmother raised me and we would always go to the scene of the accident on their birthdays and memorials. Over the years as my grandmother started to forget about them, she would sometimes go there without even knowing why. I think she could be there now." He says while looking at the road.
"I'm sorry about you parents. Where is it that they passed?" I rest my hand on his thigh as a comfort.
"It's alright. They passed in a mass pile up on the Shiya bridge..." when he says this my body goes stiff and I unconsciously tighten my grip on his leg.
"A mass pile up... was it in 2007?" I ask feeling a pit of dread form in my stomach.
"Yeah... have you heard of it?" The air in the car suddenly feels thick as though the car is full of smoke.
"I have..." I was there when it happened... my mother passed in the crash but I miraculously survived. I feel a rush of memories hit me before I can stop myself.
☆☆☆☆☆
Flashback
December 22, 2007
☆☆☆☆☆
"Momma can we go buy a present for daddy? He'll be back soon for Christmas and we still haven't been Christmas shopping." I say tugging at the corner of my mom's jacket. She smiles over at me, taking my small mitten covered hand in hers so I don't wander away.
"That's a great idea. I'm sure daddy will be happy to know that you were thinking of him." She says guiding me through the masses of people in the large park.
The winter air is cold and the ground is covered in snow and ice from the recent snowfalls. My mother had taken me to see a large decorated tree in the middle of town. Others must have had the same idea, because the park is full of people sitting and being merry as they get in the Christmas mood.
I got a cookie from a small stall in the park it was cinnamon flavored and the perfect treat for a cold winter day. As I finish it my mother guides me back to the car. She takes my trash throwing it away in a bin before grabbing my hand again....
The memory starts to get fuzzy and when I open my eyes again I'm strapped in my car seat sitting in the back of my mother's car. I look out the window at large snowflakes as they fall.
"Hey momma! Where are we going now?" I ask as I fidget excitedly in my seat. My mother looks in the rear view mirror and smiles at me.
"Well we are going to get your father a present. I have an idea so we are headed to the mall." She says as we drive down the street.
"A new watch?" I ask trying to guess the present.
"No you'll have to see when he opens it. She says glancing at me in the mirror again.
I watch as the scenery out my window changes. I sit up tall trying to peek at the water below the bridge. It glitters and looks beautiful like diamonds as the snow falls upon it.
In my pocket I play with a shiny purple-ish rock I had found at the park earlier. It's smooth in my hand and feels warm from being in my palm for so long.
"Look at the water momma it looks so pretty! It's so shiny like diamonds. I want to go swim in it." I say taking my hands from my pockets and pressing them to the cold glass.
"It sure is honey, but that water is to cold to swim in. We can go when the weather is nice in the summer." She says and I take my hands off the glass looking at her in the mirror.
"Promise?" I ask and she smiles harder.
"Promise." She says looking at me in the mirror. I giggle to my self but as my mother looks back to the road she shrieks turning the steering wheel abruptly trying not to run into the large semi barreling towards us.
The semi slides across the ice unable to stop as we both scream in fear. The large vehicle slams into the side of the car sending the car rolling.
The memory fades out again and I struggle to open my eyes as I take in the scene in front of me. There is blood everywhere the car is completely flipped and I hear several car sirens in the distance.
Glass and blood are all over and crys fill the air. It takes me a moment to realize the sobbing is my own.
"Momma! Momma please wake up!" I sob seeing my mother's unmoving body lay a few feet near the car. I'm still suspended in the air strapped into my car seat.
I cry for what feels like an eternity before attempting to unclip myself from the seat. I hit the hard glass covered roof with a thud and cry as the glass digs into my skin.
I crawl across the glass cutting open my hands and knees as I go. I make my way out of the shattered window and the cold air hits me as I rise to my feet.
I stumble over to my mother. She has remained unmoving this whole time. Her eyes are opened and even as a child I know she is gone. I kneel next to her and watch as the pool of blood around her expands slowly.
I sit in the blood and sob as I hug my mother's corpse. I'm cold, bruised, and bleeding as I wait for someone to find me. I'm not sure how long that takes but after my mother's body is completely cold paramedics find me.
☆☆☆☆☆
The memory fades again and I find myself seated in the car as Indigo stares over at me. My ears ring and though I know he's talking I can't hear a word he's saying.
"June? June! Are you alright?" His voice dawns on me suddenly and I look over. He has pulled the car into some abandoned parking lot and unclips his seat belt. He unclips mine and pulls me out of my seat and into his lap.
I barely register what is happening as he holds me stroking my back as I cry silently. He whispers comforting things in my ear and after some time I calm down enough and pull away.
"June? Are you alright? Do you want to tell me what's wrong." I shake my head and rub my eyes.
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